Communicating with coworkers can be strange. They’re not exactly friends, although you do chat in the halls and know, for example, about their crazy kids and unfortunate divorces. They’re not business partners, subordinates, or managers. And certainly, as much as you crave it, you can’t tell them where to put their attitude on a bad day. So communicating with them is bound to be … interesting. Challenging. And problematic.
Naturally you’d think somewhere along the line someone in a business class, graduate school, or even a creative writing course would have tipped you off about how to communicate with difficult coworkers. But no—you’re thrust in the workplace with coworkers who drive you crazy, and there seems to be no right way to tell them to stop.
What’s an employee to do? Here are three pointers:
1. Keep it professional: Coworkers keeping critical data to themselves? It could be that they want control of the project. Granted, that stinks, but it isn’t about you personally. That means your response isn’t to say you find them contemptible—a personal and unwise choice—but to emphasize the reason you are professionally entitled to the data.
2. Document as if your professional life depended on it—which, by the way, it might: That means write every agreement you make with your coworkers, even over coffee in the office kitchenette, and e-mail it to them. Then save a copy for yourself. Oh, and record everything else of consequence, even small consequence, and save that too. You never know when the notes of today will become career-saving content of tomorrow.
3. Use strategy: Communication is never just what you say, write, or project with body language. It contains layers and layers of innuendos, so you need to strategize. Sure, the words that rush to your mouth may be to tell your coworkers what maniacs they are—but don’t do it. Decide what you want professionally; then strategize how to say it right. And what should drive that decision? The response that will ultimately help you, and your team, at work.
Not sure what to say? You did the right thing by turning to this part of the book. You’ll find lots of perfect phrases for just about every brand of difficult coworkers, from gossips to chronic arguers, and some quick tips that will also help.