Part Four
Perfect Phrases for Communicating with Difficult Employees

Let’s face it, you probably were never taught how to communicate with employees. Or if you were, the lessons were ludicrously general like how to distinguish between an introvert’s and an extrovert’s communication style. But how did this information translate into words you should use when an employee smells so bad it distracts anyone who walks into the office. Or how to get a passive-aggressive employee to do what he or she has been asked to do. The answer, of course, is that it didn’t help you at all. And you, unfortunately, are left to wing it or, even worse, say nothing at all.

Well, you’ve come to the right place. In this part of the book, you’ll find plenty of information about how to use communication not as a Band-Aid but as a true management tool for getting results. As you turn the pages, keep these principles in mind:

Focus on actions, not attitudes. If you are like most managers, you would probably love to see a happy workplace—employees smiling, bobbing around as if on a pleasure cruise. But that rarely happens—even on actual cruise ships. Instead, employees’ problems often become problems for everyone around them. To manage your problems with employees effectively, focus on their actions rather than on their demeanors or attitudes. Don’t worry if an employee is sullen behind the scenes. If he or she provides great customer service and gives you complete reports on time, that’s what counts. When an employee’s actions are less than perfect, you need to comment on that specific performance, not on the emotion that could be fueling it.

Timing may not be everything … but it sure helps. When you communicate with an employee matters. If the employee dropped the ball, e-mail or talk to him or her when the ball is still on the ground—not days or weeks later. Make sure you communicate in the right setting also. A quiet, confidential office is usually better than a confrontation in a meeting or public area. And remember that even if you’re talking softly, body language screams.

Timing also applies to the number of times you speak to an employee. While one time should do it, it usually doesn’t. Most employees have trouble retaining spoken requests regardless of how clear you are. So you should follow up with an e-mail and, for more important matters, a face-to-face conversation once or twice.

Keep your eyes, and your employees’ eyes, on the prize. At work, the prize may be a better parking space, pay hike, or bonus. But it also needs to be something else: something greater, more enduring, and more connected to your employees’ having fulfilling work lives. In other words, your employees need to have a strong sense of the value of their work. Maybe your company makes customers’ lives safer. Perhaps it makes them happier somehow. Or maybe it gives them a benefit that affects their wallets every time they make a purchase. Focus your employees on that.