AURORA
“I’m sorry about the deaths,” Elijah said, looking over Ares’s desk at me.
After Ares had fallen asleep, I’d hopped out of bed to work. Now that Fenris had attacked our pack and killed three members, we had so much more to do in such a little time. Who knew when the next attack would be? Who knew what they’d try to take? Charolette perhaps.
Sitting beside Elijah, Adrian rested his hand on Elijah’s knee. “Ares is taking it bad, isn’t he?”
Tears welled up in my eyes, but I held myself together. I needed to be strong for Ares because he had always been my rock; he’d always been as strong as a damn god. Yet nobody could just erase the sight of headless bodies, hanging and swaying in the fall breeze, from their minds.
Memories of the day I’d almost died in the hands of the hounds in a violent and gruesome attack played through my mind on repeat. A tear slid down my cheek, and I thrust my face into my hands, unable to hold back the tears anymore.
“What are we going to do?” I asked, voice trembling. “Even though it doesn’t seem like it, he cares so much, almost too much. I’m so afraid one of these days, he’s going to break, and I’ll lose him for good. One day, the hounds are going to go too far, and I won’t ever see Ares or Mars again.”
Every day that went by was another day closer to war, a war that I feared would be worse than the War of the Lycans. And we weren’t ready. We weren’t even close. If Ares went blind with rage during war, who knew what the hounds would do to him?
What would life be without Mars if I only had Ares? Or without Ares if I only had Mars? What if I lost him the same way he’d lost his mother because he couldn’t handle this anymore? Ares had cut himself before because of all his pain—all the scars on his arms proved it. Would he do it again? Could he hold any more hurt?
“Aurora,” Elijah whispered, taking my hand. “We’ll be here for you, no matter what.”
“What if he”—my lips quivered even more, and I leaned against Ares’s oak desk, unable to hold myself up at the thought. I squeezed my eyes closed—“hurts himself?” Speaking the words aloud made them real.
I didn’t—I couldn’t lose him. If I did, I’d lose part of myself. My wolf would never forgive me for not protecting him at all costs, for not sacrificing myself before he took his life or someone else did.
“You make him stronger, Aurora,” Elijah said.
“But what if that’s not strong enough?” I asked, staring down at the scuffed wooden floor.
Elijah frowned deeper. “It needs to be. We have problems bigger than him. I know it’s fucked-up, but if he isn’t strong enough, then you need to be. You’re an alpha; you need to lead this pack if he spirals out of control.”
But I didn’t want to lead this pack alone. I wanted to lead this pack with Ares.
“Do you want some good news?” Adrian asked.
I nodded. Anything would be nice to know this wasn’t for nothing.
“After the hound attack this morning, more people have volunteered to help cement the underground shelters. Pack members are beginning to take it more seriously, especially the older wolves. We should be finished by tonight.”
“By tonight?” I asked with wide eyes. “Thank the Moon Goddess we have some way to protect our pups.”
“Next are the tunnels, which will start when you return from the mountains. I want you to be here to oversee the project, and I don’t want to start anything while we’re unguarded.” Adrian glanced over at Elijah, who looked uneasy.
Leafless branches struck the window, screeching against the screen outside, as rain pounded against the glass. I stared out into the gloomy afternoon sky and wondered what had caused such a great shift in the weather lately. Sanguine Wilds had never been this windy, foggy, and drab during the fall.
“Have you thought about the stone at all?” Elijah asked.
“Ares wants me to do it now, but it’s too risky. I don’t know how long it’ll take me to heal.”
After last time, I hadn’t moved for days. If I put the stone inside of me now and we hiked all the way up to Syncome Mountains, I wouldn’t make it. And I would not in a million years let Ares go alone. Not after what Dad had said was there.
Though I wanted to wait, I feared I was making the wrong decision. I should put it inside me now. I shouldn’t wait any longer. War would come either way, and I needed to be prepared. Yet how could I prepare if I couldn’t walk?
“I think that immediately following the Luna Ceremony would be best.”
Out of nowhere, Adrian said, “It doesn’t make sense.” He looked over at us and furrowed his brows. “Sorry, I’ve just been thinking about the hounds. I don’t understand it. Hounds don’t kill for reason, and they certainly don’t make statements like this. They would’ve killed Liam and the other two and left them for dead, not hang them by their feet and stick stakes in their heads.”
Elijah nodded. “No hound has ever had the ability to shift, never mind have their human mind completely intact. Jeremy was close, but he couldn’t shift. But this hound is different from the rest.”
“And so am I …” I whispered.
“If the hound leader has the ability to bring normal wolves back from the dead and turn them into hounds …”
My eyes grew wide. “Then, how does that explain me?”
Elijah sat further back in his chair and swiped a hand across his face. “To be absolutely honest with you, I have no idea. None of it makes sense at all. It’s been over a decade since we put the stone in your back. Dr. Farral has done thousands of surgeries since then, and I’m not sure if he’d remember something different about you. I haven’t gotten enough time to talk to him, but I’ll make time when you leave for the mountains.”
I swallowed hard, my heart pounding against my chest. “You don’t think that I’m a—”
“No,” Elijah said quickly. “You can think for yourself. You can shift—though it’s quite difficult—into your wolf and your human. You are able to speak and be civilized. I don’t think you’re a hound. Hounds can’t do that.”
“But …” My voice was barely above a whisper. “But Fenris can. He can think. He can lead. He can command an entire army of the dead and he must be undead too.”
Both Elijah and Adrian became quiet, and I sank into Ares’s comfy swivel chair, feeling anything but comfortable at this news. I should’ve learned more about the stone, like how it worked, its true powers, how and when the best time was to place it inside of me.
“Fenris is different,” Elijah said. “I don’t know how. We’ll have to capture him when we find him, study him if we can.” He stood up and glanced down at Adrian, the corner of his lips curling slightly. “It’s getting late,” he said, looking at me and smiling widely. “We’re going out to dinner.”
Though I was still worried about what was going on with me, I smiled at him, my heart feeling light. Elijah deserved this—whatever he and Adrian had.
“I’ll be here to watch over your pack when you’re gone this week.” He pulled me into a hug. “Just come back home, safe and alive.”