ARACELIS GIRMAY


from The Black Maria

Image

after Neil deGrasse Tyson, black astrophysicist & director of the Hayden Planetarium, born in 1958, New York City. In his youth, deGrasse Tyson was confronted by police on more than one occasion when he was on his way to study stars.

“I’ve known that I’ve wanted to do astrophysics since I was nine years old, a first visit to the Hayden Planetarium. . . . So I got to see how the world around me reacted to my expression of these ambitions. And all I can say is, the fact that I wanted to be a scientist, an astrophysicist, was, hands down, the path of most resistance. . . . Anytime I expressed this interest teachers would say, Don’t you want to be an athlete? Or, Don’t you wanna . . . I wanted to become something that was outside of the paradigms of expectation of the people in power. . . . And I look behind me and say, Well, where are the others who might have been this? And they’re not there. And I wonder, What is [the thing] on the tracks that I happened to survive and others did not? Simply because of the forces that prevented it. At every turn. At every turn.”

—NdT, The Center for Inquiry, 2007

Body of space. Body of dark.

Body of light.

The Skyview apartments

   circa 1973, a boy is

kneeling on the rooftop, a boy who

   (it is important

to mention here his skin

   is brown) prepares his telescope,

the weights & rods,

   to better see the moon. His neighbor

(it is important to mention here

   that she is white) calls the police

because she suspects the brown boy

   of something, she does not know

what at first, then turns,

   with her white looking,

his telescope into a gun,

   his duffel into a bag of objects

thieved from the neighbors’ houses

   (maybe even hers) & the police

(it is important to mention

   that statistically they

are also white) arrive to find

   the boy who has been turned, by now,

into “the suspect,” on the roof

   with a long, black lens, which is,

in the neighbor’s mind, a weapon &

   depending on who you are, reading this,

you know that the boy is in grave danger,

   & you might have known

somewhere quiet in your gut,

   you might have worried for him

in the white space between lines 5 & 6,

   or maybe even earlier, & you might be holding

your breath for him right now

   because you know this story,

it’s a true story, though,

   miraculously, in this version

of the story anyway,

   the boy on the roof of the Skyview lives

to tell the police that he is studying

   the night & moon & lives

long enough to offer them (the cops) a view

   through his telescope’s long, black eye, which,

if I am spelling it out anyway,

   is the instrument he borrowed

& the beautiful “trouble” he went through

   lugging it up to the roof

to better see the leopard body of

   space speckled with stars & the moon far off,

much farther than (since I am spelling The Thing

   out) the distance between

the white neighbor who cannot see the boy

   who is her neighbor, who,

in fact, is much nearer

   to her than to the moon, the boy who

wants to understand the large

   & gloriously un-human mysteries of

the galaxy, the boy who, despite “America,”

   has not been killed by the murderous jury of

his neighbor’s imagination & wound. This poem

   wants only the moon in its hair & the boy on the roof.

This boy on the roof of this poem

   with a moon in his heart. Inside my own body

as I write this poem my body

   is making a boy even as the radio

calls out the Missouri coroner’s news,

   the Ohio coroner’s news.

2015. My boy will nod

   for his milk & close his mouth around

the black eye of my nipple.

   We will survive. How did it happen?

The boy. The cops. My body in this poem.

   My milk pulling down into droplets of light

as the baby drinks & drinks them down

   into the body that is his own, see it,

splayed & sighing as a star in my arms.

   Maybe he will be the boy who studies stars.

Maybe he will be (say it)

   the boy on the coroner’s table

splayed & spangled

   by an officer’s lead as if he, too, weren’t made

of a trillion glorious cells & sentences. Trying to last.

Leadless, remember? The body’s beginning,

splendored with breaths, turned,

by time, into, at least, this song.

This moment-made & the mackerel-“soul”

caught flashing inside the brief moment of the body’s net,

then, whoosh, back into the sea of space.

The poem dreams of bodies always leadless, bearing

only things ordinary

as water & light.

from Harvard Review