JUDSON MITCHAM


White

Image

1.

Two years before I was born and less than five miles

from my grandfather’s farm,

      somebody killed two women and two men,

filled them with so many rounds

the dead were hard to recognize—

          young black men, one a veteran

just returned from the war,

and two young black women, shot to death

              by a gathering of men

as white as the Georgia senate,

all persons unknown, or so testified

         the single witness, also a white man.

Truman made a statement,

the FBI came down. After seventy years,

             the case is still nowhere,

and surely the killers are dead.

But this is not about those who did it.

             This is not about justice.

There will be no justice.

It’s about us, me and my friends,

           the first generation raised white

in that town after the massacre,

allowed to cakewalk into adulthood,

            self-assured, but as unaware

as cattle of what had happened. I didn’t know,

somehow, until I was forty-five years old,

               and this is a poem

of dumb, sputtering astonishment

at the ignorance of our lives—we who went

           to our churches and our homes

and our history classes, where no one said a word,

we who lived each day like blank pages,

          mistake after mistake after mistake

in the history book.

2.

You think you so smooth, even blackface

is okay for you. Go on then, fool.

          Look here: God is not mocked.

Ticket or not, you will be on that train, and soon.

And when you take that ride,

          you better put on your face right,

wipe off the tarbaby

that came too easy. And how about the way

          you talking right this minute?

You better let that go, but you won’t.

So keep it up, strut and hambone,

        buck and wing, pick a bale of cotton.

You think you in the big house

for a reason, but son, sometimes

         what looks like the sun coming up

is the sun going down,

the world has spun the other way.

          There is nothing else to do then

but to turn your sorry ass around. You been going ahead

backwards.

3.

So now you have something to say?

You know who I mean.

       Now, when there’s a street in every town,

often a back street that runs past

pawn shops and liquor stores—

       named Martin Luther King, Jr. Boulevard?

Now you have something to say? That is mighty white,

now that nothing is required,

      nothing at all, to have coffee at the old place

on the corner with the woman from Cameroon

who runs your office. No refusal of service,

        no greasy crew crowded at the window

to beat you both bloody when you leave, no

proprietor with a pick handle

          telling you to get out, no sham law

to look the other way, no church to preach

the curse of Ham, no slurs in the air

           to keep you, too, in your place.

You know who I mean. Back then, you might have been

a frightened little white boy like me,

           or you might have been as cool

as a ducktail—slow-riding by the café

to spit out the window, rolling past

           in your glass-packed Chevrolet,

playing that race music loud on the radio.

4.

On the notes showing the provenance, you’ll notice,

only first names. That was the etiquette,

            and we hold to the old ways

at the underground auction. This is the nose

of a Carlton, this is the eyetooth of a Lucille,

                 now a charm

for a girl’s bracelet.

What we have here, in the original jars,

          are the knuckles and the genitals

of a William. This is the big-toe watch fob of an Odell.

Here is the polished kneecap

          of a Randolph, a family keepsake

engraved with the date. Let me be clear, though:

To consider what any of this, or all of it,

              might bring at auction

is evidence of a bad misunderstanding. When has anyone

paid a thing?

from Cave Wall