MY MILLION FATHERS, STILL HERE PAST
Hallelujah for grizzled lip, snuff chew, bended slow walk,
and shit talkin’. Praise fatback, pork gravy, orange butter,
Alaga syrup, grits, and egg sammiches on Wonder Bread
slathered with Hellman’s, mashed ’tween sheets of wax
paper. You hoard that food like money. You are three-day
checker games, pomade slick back, deep brown drink
sucked through holes where teeth once was. You’re that
can’t-shake lyric, that last bar stool before the back door.
All glory to the church deacons, bodies afloat in pressed
serge, nappy knobs of gray hair greased flat, close to conk,
cracked tenors teetering and testifying. Bless you postmen
and whip cloth shoeshiners, foremen with burning backs,
porters bowing deep. I hear swear-scowling and gold-tooth
giggling over games of bid whist and craps, then Sunday’s
Lucky Struck voices playing call-and-response with
the Good Book’s siren song. In the midst of some hymn,
my wilting fathers, I see you young again, you spitshined
and polished, folded at the hips on a sluggish Greyhound,
or colored in the colored car of a silver train chugging past
Pine Bluff, Aliceville, Minneola, Greenwood, Muscle Shoals,
headed north where factories pumped precise gospel
and begged you inside their open mouths. You’re the reason
the Saturday moon wouldn’t fall. You mail-order zoot suit
wide wing felt hats to dip low over one eye, pimp walkin’,
taps hammered into heels, kickin’ up hot foot to get down
one time, slow drag blues threading bone and hip bump
when the jukebox teases. All praise to the eagle what flew
on Friday and the Lincoln Mark, the Riviera, the Deuce
and a Quarter, the always too much car for what you were.
You were lucky number, the dream book, the steaming spoon
of black-eyes on day one of every year. Here is to your mojo,
your magic real, roots and conjures and long-dead plants
in cotton pouches. Deftly misled by tiny religions, you spat
on the broom that brushed your foot, stayed left of light poles.
Griots of sloped porch and city walk, you, my million fathers,
still here past chalk outlines, dirty needles, and prison cots,
still here past ass whuppings, tree hangings, and many calls
to war, past J.B. stupor, absent children, and drive-bys.
You survive, scarred and hobbling, choking back dawn ache,
high pressure, dimming and lying eyes, joints that smell thunder.
Here’s to the secret of your rotting molars, the tender bump
on your balls, your misaligned back, wild corn on that baby
toe, the many rebellions of your black, tired bodies. I watch
you cluck the hard history of lust past your gums, squeeze
rheumy eyes shut to conjure the dream outline of a woman.
I am a woman.
I will rub your weary head,
dance close to you,
shuck you silver peas for dinner.
He was Otis, my father.
But you are Willie Earl and James and Ernest and Jimmy Lee.
All of you, frail charmers, gentle Delta, bodies curled against
the time gone, the time coming. I grieve you tottering toward
death, I celebrate you clinging to life. Open bony dark-veined
arms and receive me, a woman in the shape of your daughter,
who is taking on your last days as her very blood, learning
your whispered language too late to stop your dying,
but not too late
to tell
this story.