CHAPTER 13
THE NEED FOR MENDING

WHAT WE DISCUSSED in the last two chapters will create an atmosphere of vexation in your life if you do not allow the Spirit of God to master your life. Mammon is linked with how we see. Actually, the evil eye, which we will discuss further in the next few chapters, works with the power of Mammon.

Other than Mammon, other probable spiritual wars we will battle in our lives are illness, infirmity, fear, and trauma. Illness and infirmity were a pattern in my life. Growing up with weakness and sickness was a way of life for me. Severe allergic reactions, bronchial asthma, stomach ulcers, and overwhelming migraines became the norm. Doctors tried many things. I was actually taking Valium by the time I was in the fourth grade. From the time I became filled with the Spirit, I had learned how to resist the power of sickness, yet I had never really overcome the power of infirmity in my life. In the early 1990s, I received some bad reports concerning my esophagus and colon—they were damaged and creating dangerous situations in my life. The Lord took me through a series of diagnoses from doctors that were not encouraging. (As a matter of fact, while writing this book, I went for an update and consultation. The gastrointestinal doctor I visited reiterated how severe my condition once was. Though I am still monitored every three months, I have transformed my health by the Spirit and submission to a change in lifestyle.)

Because of my internal situation, my body began to reject anything that entered my stomach and treated it as an allergen. I began to experience anaphylactic shock. I was miserable! At this point, I was very concerned about my future. At the National School of the Prophets that was being held in Baltimore, Maryland, Cindy Jacobs, a friend of mine, shared with me that she believed my sickness was related to the trauma I had experienced while growing up. She believed that my father’s decaying leadership in our family and his premature death still held power over me. My first impression was, “How could this be? I have gone through so much deliverance. I have even written a book about overcoming the loss that had occurred in our family.”

I came home from Baltimore very ill and unable to digest any food. My brother, Keith, was teaching Sunday school and gave me a call after his class. He said, “While I was teaching my class, the Lord told me that the sickness that you are experiencing is related to the loss of our dad.”

I thought to myself, “Why isn’t my brother ever sick? My dad was his dad also.” So I asked him this question.

He responded, “You had a different emotional tie with Daddy than I. His loss wounded and affected you in a way that it did not affect me.”

BROKEN SPIRITS CAN BE HEALED

This was an eye-opening statement for me. I knew that I still had a place of brokenness in my spirit that needed healing. I fell before the Lord and began to ask Him how to break this generational iniquity of infirmity that was linked with the trauma of loss that I had experienced. Since that time, the Lord has led me on a journey of understanding how trauma affects our DNA and weakens our spirit. One verse that has become a life verse for me is Proverbs 18:14: “The spirit of a man will sustain him in sickness, but who can bear a broken spirit?” A broken spirit occurs when life’s difficulties crush our abilities to resist. Jesus came to heal our bodies. However, we find that His desire for us is that we become whole in body, soul, and spirit. When the Lord showed me the power of trauma, I could see how my past was continuing to hold this infirm spirit in place.

There are many ways to follow the Lord into healing. There are many methods and faith acts. However, I believe that to be whole, one must find the root cause of his/her infirmity and then press through into the process of wholeness. During my time of infirmity, I had to make a choice to follow the Lord to Nigeria. Dr. C. Peter Wagner was leading a gathering there with key apostolic leaders from the nation. I always serve Peter whenever he requests me to be somewhere, but the thought of traveling to Nigeria in my condition was difficult to reconcile. This would also require some yellow fever shots. With me reacting to everything, the thought of this was somewhat overwhelming. I went first to my wife and counseled with her. She reminded me that earlier in the year I had come to her and excitedly told her that the Lord was asking me to go to Nigeria. I said, “But what if I have a reaction in Nigeria?”

She asked, “But didn’t the Lord say for you to go to Nigeria?”

I confirmed with a yes.

She said, “Then go.”

I said, “What if I die from a reaction?”

She said, “If the Lord is telling you to go to Nigeria and you die, that would be where the Lord has planned for you to die!”

I thought to myself, “This woman is way too practical for me!”

Peter also encouraged me to go. He even said, “Because of how the power of God is moving in Nigeria, perhaps you will get healed.” Pam was right. He was right. I overcame my fear of going to a foreign nation while I was ill. I went to Nigeria, and during a prayer meeting (of ten thousand people) the Spirit of God came. When Communion was served, those who were sick were invited to come forward. I was the first in line. When I participated, I felt a curse of infirmity leave my body.

With all disorders, we must seek the help of the Holy Spirit for wisdom. There are times when a person is in such a state of depression or agitation that he or she is unable to receive ministry until medication is administered. I have dealt with people who refused medication because they believed it meant they didn’t have faith. I have talked with ministers who refused to minister deliverance to someone who was on medication because it was mind altering. If it is altering the mind to be able to think coherently and focus, then they should be allowed to receive ministry. The good news is that there is help for people with emotional and mental problems. Look for the cycles and be prepared to break them. God can break through any structure and start mending your broken spirit. Ask Him to show you how trauma is affecting your ability to see the future!

GOD HAS REDEEMED OUR LIFE AND PATH

Before we were ever conceived or knit together in our mothers’ wombs, God had a distinct plan for each one of our lives. He destined us before the foundation of the earth. He knew the timing in which we would be born and the generation that we would be a part of. He had a purpose for us and knew what would be necessary to accomplish those purposes in the earth within that timeframe. Into that right time and season we are all born. Upon our conception, God’s redemptive plan begins for our life.

Proverbs 4:18 says that the way or path of righteousness is like the first gleam of dawn or as a shining light that shines ever brighter until the full light of day. When thinking about our redemptive path, it is important to know that our Redeemer has already paid the price for us to walk victoriously through life. To redeem means “to pay the required price, to secure the release of a convicted criminal.” Our Redeemer is the person making that payment. Therefore, Jesus has already redeemed us from the darkness in our path. Psalm 16:11 says, “You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” Our life cycle, designed by God, begins at the point of conception and continues through birth, the age of accountability, our spiritual rebirth, maturing faith, and death, before entering eternity.

Padah is a Hebrew word that expresses the legal and commercial use of the redemptive concept in relation to the redemption of persons or other living beings. For example, if a person owned an ox that was known to be dangerous but did not keep the ox secured, and if the ox gored the son or daughter of a neighbor, both the ox and the owner would be stoned to death. If, however, the father of the slain person offered to accept an amount of money, the owner could pay the redemption price and live (Exod. 21:29–30; cf. v. 32). Ga’al is another Hebrew word that indicates a redemption price in relation to family members involving the responsibility of a next-of-kin. A kinsman was responsible to redeem the estate that his nearest relative might have sold because of poverty (Lev. 25:25; Ruth 4:4). It was the kinsman’s responsibility also to ransom a kinsman who may have sold himself (Lev. 25:47–48). The Old Testament Book of Ruth is the most striking example of a kinsman who used his power and Jewish Law to redeem. Boaz demonstrated one of the duties of the kinsman—that of marrying the widow of a deceased kinsman. A correlation is sometimes made between the redemption of Ruth by Boaz and the redemption of sinners by Christ.

The Lord has bought back, or paid in full, your life. If we receive, trust, and believe in His ability, we can be successful on our path of life. Job knew that he had a living Redeemer (Job 19:25). Writers of the psalms prayed for redemption from distress (Ps. 26:11; 49:15) and testified to God’s redeeming work (Ps. 31:5; 71:23; 107:2). The Old Testament witness is that God is “my strength and my Redeemer” (Ps. 19:14). The New Testament centers redemption in Jesus Christ. He purchased the church with His own blood (Acts 20:28), gave His flesh for the life of the world (John 6:51), as the Good Shepherd laid down His life for His sheep (John 10:11), and demonstrated the greatest love by laying down His life for His friends (John 15:13). The purpose of Jesus in the world was to make a deliberate sacrifice of Himself for human sin. He did something sinful people could not do for themselves. He brought hope to sinners, providing redemption from sin and fellowship with the eternal Father. As the suffering servant, He was a costly sacrifice, suffering the shameful and agonizing death on a Roman cross. New Testament redemption thus speaks of substitutionary sacrifice, which demonstrates divine love and righteousness. It points to a new relationship to God, the dynamic of a new life, God’s leniency in the past, and the call for humility for the future.

God ordained us to be whole so that our created purpose could manifest fully. When we submit ourselves to Him and recognize that He has paid the price for our lives, we can enter into the success that He has on our path. This is really what redemption means. I defined success in an earlier chapter. By moving our lives forward so we are not constantly living in the pain and regret of the past, we walk in God’s best daily. By prevailing over the enemy of our souls, we are able to resist temptation and reclaim our inheritance. This overcomes the vexing power of the enemy. Our relationship with the Lord should cause us to act wisely and strategically. This causes us to be favored and promoted to new levels at the right season. We will achieve our destined purposes when we cry out to Him along our paths.

Fragmentation attempts to keep us scattered. If we continue to carry within our souls the brokenness that can result from injustices and our mistakes, then we become fragmented. The scattered pieces of our soul must be gathered for us to be whole. This is simple to say but much more complex in reality, because we are made in the image of God. We are unique individuals. We do many acts that we are not even aware of that come very naturally to us because the complexity of our soul operates subconsciously. If we expand our perception of who we are, we become very aware of ourselves and others.

WHAT PRODUCES SOUL FRAGMENTATION?

Have you ever felt you were outside of your body? Have you had a feeling of floating or watching things happen? You were awake but felt in a dreamlike state. Usually this feeling is a result of fragmentation of soul. When trauma occurs, if you depend upon your own will to recover, you lose a portion of your soul or a portion of your soul is captured in the traumatic experience. When this occurs, your emotions are not enabled to express health, and your personality copes by compartmentalizing your thoughts relative to the emotional hurt.

As children of alcoholic parents, my wife and I knew that we needed healing. We are very open people with each other, so our communication of our feelings most likely helped save us from many destructive situations. I write much about anxiety and post-traumatic syndrome in The Rewards of Simplicity (Chosen, 2010).

The key to us overcoming was our belief system. In summary, we came to this agreement: “God knows best and has wisdom. His Word is perfect, and His thoughts are better than any human expression. When agreement is not in reach by either of us, we will submit our opinion and agree with His wisdom. When our thoughts are exalted above His, we will lay down our thoughts and agree with Him!” Not only were we open to press through our hurt and trust each other, but we also developed our thoughts around our communion with a holy God through His Spirit and Word. We knew that no matter what we had experienced in life, we were created to be in this earth at this time. We knew He had a plan, and we would seek His plan, which included healing and wholeness.

Most children who survive abusive, traumatic childhoods tend to fade into the woodwork or have such great separation anxiety that they contend with a lifetime of depression, suicidal urges, explosive anger, and most likely many demonic oppressions and possessions. These individuals can become very possessive of others, flock together, create gang mentalities, and produce harm to many around them. Many cults begin out of wounded, fragmented individuals who draw other wounded, fragmented individuals to themselves.

REASONS FOR FRAGMENTATION

The major reason for our personality or soul functions becoming fragmented is trauma. In traumatic events, many times a part of our soul splits to avoid excessive or continual suffering. This portion of our soul can be lost from us forever or enter a captive state within our overall personality. I usually explain this as a submerged identity. This spirit is reinforced by the traumatic memory that keeps replaying in our hearts and minds. The incident then becomes disruptive again at a certain key, opportune time when we should be progressing forward to our level of prosperity in life.

With this fragmentation, we can move on a scale of from being the Incredible Hulk—overly aggressive—to Lilly Wallflower, shy and retreating. We can go from “something is missing in my life” to “I have found my true inner self” all in one day’s time. Many are diagnosed with a bipolar disorder, but in reality they need to be healed and reintegrated into wholeness. We can become so wounded that we lose a portion of our lives and are never the same again after the trauma occurs.

I also find that we consciously and unconsciously give portions of our soul and thoughts to be compartmentalized and put on a shelf or even give ourselves permission to take leave from the overall process of our life. This can be good or very bad, dependent on our denial of situations, relegating our authority to others to take control of us, or just plain not wanting responsibility for our actions. I see that many people who do not understand the fallen nature of man label portions of themselves that are crying for redemption as wrong and sinful and never develop the quality of uniqueness that God intended us to display. They condemn this area of self instead of submitting it for redemption through the cross, the blood, the Word, and the Spirit, and it becomes dark or is passed on in the bloodline for other generations to contend with.

RELIGION BINDS CREATIVE DEVELOPMENT

Religion—instead of spiritual life through the Son—tells us to just release our problems. Many think the manifestations of fragmentation (anger, bitterness, wounding, instability, addictions, depression, and so forth) will just go away if we are spiritually active enough to overcome the poor fruit of trauma. This will work only if we are moving by the Spirit of God and not in the flesh. We can begin by having a desire of “wanting to be better,” but our end can only be greater if we allow the Spirit of God to redeem the portions of us that have been captured, fragmented, or submerged. We can’t just run off what is bad in us and not unlock what was meant to be redemptive and expressive. Jesus said this:

But when the unclean spirit has gone out of a man, it roams through dry [arid] places in search of rest, but it does not find any. Then it says, I will go back to my house from which I came out. And when it arrives, it finds the place unoccupied, swept, put in order, and decorated. Then it goes and brings with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and make their home there. And the last condition of that man becomes worse than the first.

—MATTHEW 12:43–45, AMP

When children manifest evil tendencies, many parents, motivated by pride, tell that child to suppress the feeling and just do away with that portion of himself or herself. But if the child just sends that part of self away instead of seeing why the enemy has chosen to use that portion, he or she will never fully develop into who he or she was meant to be in Christ. Parents who do this are preventing their children from being totally redeemed. Does this mean that we should not correct our children? Of course not! However, we should explain why the child feels the way he does, and instead of just casting out that portion of the child’s spirit, we must refill or liberate what the enemy has held captive. If we use legalism to deal with behavioral issues instead of spiritual liberation, later these children will feel they lost something in life and will resent the parent for not helping them find themselves. Spirit and life redeem (rather than oppress, captivate, and narrow) development of one’s self.

TRAUMA FRAGMENTS AND STOPS MULTIPLICATION

During our fragmentation of soul, the enemy continues his attempts to gain access to us, vexing our spirits and affecting our bodies. We’ll discuss more of this as we proceed through the remaining chapters. However, I find that the enemy generally targets the portions of our bodies that involve reproduction. We were called to multiply, so if the enemy can stop us from doing that by using our spiritual wombs, he senses he has succeeded by usurping God’s ultimate plan for us. Many who have abortions never recover from fragmentation, and early promiscuity can lead to many later difficulties with reproductive organs, including men’s prostates, where cancer is on the rise. We have some friends who desire to have children. They are a beautiful, virile-looking couple. However, they are unable to conceive. The man in the relationship lost a brother unexpectedly, and the effects of this seemed to deplete his life source. His sperm count actually dropped after the traumatic incident and has never fully recovered to this day.

In the Bible, barrenness is a curse. Many times barrenness comes from our sin or familial sin. However, trauma can affect us in such a way that we stop multiplying. Let’s just take a moment and look at the male who was set in the garden to watch and to multiply.

What causes a male to multiply is his ability to fertilize the egg in a woman. Since my wife and I were barren for ten years, we had to learn many things about our lack of procreation, both spiritually and physically. We have written much about Pam’s hostile womb, which the Spirit of God healed in January 1984. However, in the Word of God, the term translated “the river” is the same word used for sperm that is motile, fertilizes, and brings healing wherever it goes.

If a man experiences trauma, his ability to procreate can be stifled. Testicular trauma or torsion may affect fertility. Testicular torsion is a condition in which the testicle twists on the cord that attaches it to the body. Approximately 30–40 percent of men with a history of testicular torsion have an abnormal semen analysis. Environmental conditions, war, spiritual rejection, and many other issues can cause a man’s “river” to lack health and motility.

The trauma in our lives affects us both spiritually and physically. Our enemy does not play the game of life fairly when we are traumatized. In other words, when we are down, he kicks us again. This affects us greatly. He loves to kick us in our area of procreation, wound us, and stop us from prospering. Satan has a goal—to stop life from occurring abundantly. He also wants to stop us from creating and multiplying. He hates the thought of freely flowing Christians who reproduce themselves physically and spiritually. You can use this scenario when you are looking at revival in the body of Christ. We get moving in God. We experience trauma. The move of God stops or eventually has no effect on multiplying. The river was flowing but then stagnates and has no power.