Boundaries

 

Jared stood in the parking lot staring at the bowling alley sign, wondering what he'd been thinking. Alex was probably already in there, renting shoes. The idea made him shudder. What kind of sport demanded a person wear used shoes? He'd never been bowling in his life. Alex's taunting made it seem like a good idea, now he wasn't so sure. He gathered the rags of his courage, breathed deeply to calm his nerves, and went into the building.

The noise level was explosive, balls rolled on wooden floors and clobbered wooden pins, people talked and laughed. Music played loud enough to be heard over all of it. Jared looked around, trying to get his bearings. Straight ahead was a big round kiosk. There was a register and a gum-popping girl talking to a boy. The pink bubbles were the brightest thing about her. Everything else Jared could see was black, from her badly dyed hair to the jeans hugging her hips. Earrings climbed both ears and studs decorated her brows, nose, and lips. A tattoo of barbed wire wrapped around one wrist.

Jared studied her black lips and fingernails, wondering if it was safe to approach. He walked forward slowly, and she noticed him about the time he reached the counter. She waved the boy away and turned her attention to Jared, her dark eyes speculative. Jared decided he was going to buy a t-shirt that said, "too vanilla for you," and wear it all the time. The thought made him laugh and a pierced brow hiked up her forehead.

"Are you laughing at me?" she demanded, her expression suddenly stormy. Jared swallowed. He was bad at talking to girls, he always screwed it up. He shook his head.

"Not at all, I was laughing at myself." Her expression remained suspicious. Jared sighed. "Honestly, I accepted an invitation to come bowling and I've never done it before. I was wondering why I did."

She cracked a smile. "Bowling is great, you'll love it." Her enthusiasm made Jared smile. He hadn't thought of bowling as a Goth activity, but he supposed they had to do something besides sit around and brood. She appeared to be running out of piercing room. "Come on, we'll get your shoes and have you settled before your girl gets here. She'll never know."

By the time Jared had shoes, a ball, and a crash course in bowling, he decided that his shirt would have to say, "I'm too vanilla for you, I'm gay, and I don't bowl." He might have to gain some weight to get it all on there but it was important stuff. He watched the other bowlers, trying to memorize their movements, then someone plopped into the chair beside him. Startled, he turned to face Alex, who had an odd expression on his face.

"Dirty shoes, and why are they so ugly?" Alex demanded, looking down at the green and red shoes on his feet with something close to amazement on his face. Jared followed Alex's gaze. They were ugly alright.

"Probably so no one steals them." It was the only reason he could think of. Alex looked dubious.

"Steal dirty shoes?" He grimaced and Jared guessed that the fact he had them on at all was a revelation of how much Alex wanted to spend time with him, or maybe it was the other way around. He flexed his toes in the shoes and suppressed a shudder.

"Maybe if we play we'll forget about it?" he suggested impulsively. Alex looked up and grinned.

"Sure, what do we do first?" His question reminded Jared he had no idea at all. The Goth girl had put a score sheet on the table in the middle of a horseshoe of chairs. The section serviced two lanes. Thankfully, the one adjacent to theirs was empty.

"Just roll the ball," he said.

Alex looked at him expectantly, so he stood up, slowly. Confession was good for the soul. He should admit that he'd never set foot in a bowling alley before this. He walked over and picked up the ball he’d decided was about right for him. The lane was long and shiny. He stared at the ball then looked down to where the pins stood, daring him to try. How hard could it be? He tried to remember what the girl had told him. Unfortunately, he underestimated his own strength, and the ball soared almost halfway down the lane before hitting the floor. It hit hard, turning heads. It rolled slowly and nudged over one pin before falling into the gutter. He stood staring, unwilling to turn around and face Alex, who sounded like he might be choking to death. Jared’s face flamed. The ball return coughed up the ball, but he didn't move to pick it up.

Jared remembered he had another chance. Well, if they gave two chances for each turn maybe it was harder than it looked. He would be careful not to throw the ball this time to avoid the whole flying missile thing.

Reluctantly, Jared picked up the ball, aware more pairs of eyes were on him than just Alex's. He paused to collect his composure. He hated being the center of attention. The only way out was to do it. He managed to keep from throwing the ball, but instead of rolling down the lane, it immediately turned right and straight into the gutter, rattling its way past the pins without so much as a "how are you?" At least it was over. Alex gave up trying not to laugh and howled. Jared turned to glare at him.

"That was interesting," Alex gasped, undaunted by Jared's glower.

Jared sat down in the chair behind the scoring table. He wrote a "1" in the first empty place next to his name and a "0" in the next little box. He looked over at Alex.

"Your turn," he said, cheering considerably when Alex stopped laughing.

Alex didn’t get up, instead he stared at Jared. “Do you have something to tell me?"

Jared failed to suppress his grin. "I can't imagine what, since it's so freaking obvious that I've never done this before in my life." They laughed together and Alex retrieved his ball. He hit the gutter twice, though both his attempts were more elegantly executed than either of Jared's. He threw himself down into his seat in disgust as Jared recorded his zeros.

"Let's play low score wins," Alex suggested hopefully.

Jared stood for his next round of humiliation. He glanced at the score sheet, it seemed like his one might be the only point scored in the game. He picked up his ball.

"No way," he said, taking his turn with grim determination. It turned out that grim determination was not the answer. He recorded another pair of zeros while Alex warily picked up his ball.

"You can do it." Jared tried to encourage him, but Alex cut him a look that said clearly what he thought of the attempt. Jared suppressed a laugh. Alex did a little better that time, catching the edge of the pins on his second try and knocking down three of them. He gloated while Jared grudgingly wrote down his score.

Jared got to his feet and headed for his ball. He couldn't remember ever thinking about a ball as his enemy before, but this one lay there smug and gleaming, eager to humiliate him again.

"I'll help!" Alex announced, bouncing to his feet. Jared turned to look at him. Help?

Well, there was no arguing with the fact that three equaled more than one. He supposed he should take what he could get. He shrugged and turned to face the lane. Alex came up behind him, too close. Jared felt Alex's breath on the back of his neck just as the boy took hold of his wrist to pull his hand back. Jared gasped. Every nerve in his body came alive. He panicked and jerked away.

"Rules. You're only fifteen, no touching," Jared snapped, his heart pounding. He worried Alex would read his arousal for what it was. Alex frowned. Jared waited him out. If Alex pushed, then friendship between them would be impossible. Five years wouldn’t matter if they were twenty and twenty-five. Alex wasn’t twenty. Jared shifted anxiously, waiting for Alex's reaction to what was sure to be the first of many rules if being friends was going to work.

"Whatever, but that means you have to do it yourself again." Alex smirked and sat back down.

Jared relaxed. He hadn't meant to present the no contact rule that way, but he couldn't think with Alex so close. He seemed to have taken the outburst well and Jared hoped he was okay with just being friends.

Jared chose to ignore how much he wanted more. He wasn't stupid. He understood his standards wouldn't stop Alex from being touched, just that it would be someone else kissing him, holding him, and loving him. Something inside Jared tore at the thought of anyone else having Alex. Jared turned, took the required steps, and threw the ball as if the pins were the men in Alex's future. His strike stunned both of them. Alex whooped and Jared grinned from ear to ear. The boy threw himself into his arms in a hug of celebration, his delight overcoming the new boundary.

"You did it!" Alex grinned, his face shining with pride. Jared forced a grin and stepped away from Alex.

"Oh, I did it, all right," he agreed. His jaw clenched and he went to write down his score. "Your turn."