It was common knowledge at all the bridge clubs that mattered in the Big Apple that Jacqueline Berger hated losing.
In fact, saying she hated it was perhaps too mild a way of describing the feelings of Manhattan’s unrivalled queen of cards with regard to the issue, but fortunately for her – as well as for those sitting near her – the number of times in her card-playing career that Jackie had lost could be counted on the fingers of one hand.
Too bad, then, that Mrs Berger was preparing for the second resounding loss in two days in a row. And in all the years they’d been playing, no one could remember anything like it happening before.
“Oh damn it all! What the hell?!” exclaimed the sprightly lady with perfectly styled white hair, making no attempt to hide her anger and almost sending the cards on the table flying up into the air.
“What’s the matter, dear? Not your night?” interjected Jessica Stein immediately. Sitting to Jackie’s left, Jessica was the wife of old Judge Stein, and Jackie’s longstanding mortal enemy. The animosity between the two of them dated back pretty much to the 1949 debutantes’ ball, and had gone down in history as the ‘duel of the two roses’. It had made the Civil war look like a tea party in comparison.
Of course, to look at them now, no one would ever have suspected how much venom these two influential high society ladies had spat at one another back in the day, but there you are. Once upon a time, the wives of important people had few ways of spending their time other than carrying on protracted feuds – in fact, it had been a fairly common pastime. Not to mention that once you got a taste for it, it was extremely difficult to change your behavior. Especially when you were eighty years old.
“Unless my math skills have somehow forsaken me, this is the second night in a row that you’ve lost,” added Mrs Stein, just so as to emphasize the exceptional nature of the event, despite the fact that all those present were well aware of it.
A deathly silence descended upon the bridge table: no one dared draw breath as they awaited a response from Jackie. Who surprised them all with a loud guffaw. A good part of her fame derived from her unpredictability, and it irked her not to live up to people’s expectations – especially on her bad days.
“Oh, don’t talk nonsense – your math skills have always been pretty questionable. And anyway, everybody knows that I never lose twice in a row.”
Her tone – superficially casual – brooked no argument. Or at least, it brooked no argument from those who were intimidated by her.
“Oh goodness – is your memory starting to go, my dear?” asked Mrs Stein with feigned concern, completely ignoring her adversary’s not particularly veiled insinuation. She and mathematics had never gotten along, and the fact was so well known that it was no surprise when it was remarked upon. But where one’s natural abilities couldn’t take one, one’s stubbornness often could, and when it came to stubbornness, Jessica Stein was entirely without equal in the world.
“My memory is in excellent health. As you know very well,” said Jackie glacially.
“So just admit that you’ve lost, then!” the other retorted. “For the second day in a row!”
Mrs Berger turned to the player sitting in front of her. “Addison, dear, did I by any chance lose yesterday?” she asked her sweetly, seemingly perfectly composed. The question, uttered with such innocence was, however, accompanied by a glare that only the most naive fool could have missed. And a naive fool, Mrs McLean was certainly not.
“I don’t think you did…” answered Addison McLean vaguely, pretending to cast her mind back. It was no coincidence that she was a politician’s wife – deny everything and never remember anything, those were the rules.
“There you go – I didn’t lose yesterday!” exclaimed Jackie confidently, determined to get back to the game. She had already wasted enough precious time responding to Jessica Stein.
But Jessica Stein was not one to be so easily shut up.
“Oh yes, you did!” she hissed irritably, realizing that she had been outmanoeuvred. “You lost! You damn well lost!”
“Nobody here seems to remember that, though, do they?” said Jackie calmly, picking up the deck of cards and shuffling it.
Seeing that she had lost the chance to tease her opponent further, Jessica decided to take desperate measures. “Well with all this bad luck you’re having at the game it must mean that you’ve finally been lucky in love…”
Jackie raised her eyes to the sky. “Oh, Jess, don’t talk such rot! I’ve been a widow for over ten years,” she answered, genuinely annoyed now. In their case, bringing up such private matters in public meant really having hit rock bottom.
“Exactly! Ten years! Aren’t you sick of not having anyone to take you out to dinner or to the movies?”
“What, you mean Judge Stein takes you to the movies?” asked Jackie, genuinely surprised. The old miser didn’t seem the type to do anything enjoyable, and she suspected that he’d chosen to become a judge simply because it allowed him to be mean to other people: he wallowed about in other people’s misery like an eel, the sadist.
“Of course not… He’s a judge. Judges don’t waste their time going to the movies!” replied Jessica, shocked by her neighbour’s ignorance.
“Well lawyers do, thank heavens, and so, unlike you, I do go to the movies,” exclaimed Jackie proudly. “Plenty. With my granddaughter.”
“Who, Amalia?” exclaimed a shocked Mrs Stein, blinking in surprise.
“Do I have another granddaughter that I don’t know about?” Jackie asked, as though talking to a child.
But her opponent took no notice of the sarcastic tone of her question. “So she’s still single, then?” she asked quietly, but with a look that spoke volumes.
“Still single,” Jackie was forced to admit reluctantly, as she shifted nervously in her chair.
“So it didn’t work out with that young man that you introduced her to?” interjected Addison, who would have considered it practically an offence not to take an active part in the gossiping – not coincidentally, she was widely considered among her friends to be the queen of tittle-tattle. In fact, the only one who didn’t seem interested in their chatter was Mrs Watts, who was sitting to the right of Jackie, but she didn’t really count: she could spend entire afternoons sitting at the card table without uttering a single word, so Jackie therefore considered her in some way the perfect counterbalance for Jessica. Though it wasn’t really possible to fully counterbalance Jessica – Mrs Stein was irritating enough for two, if not actually for three, other people.
“No, unfortunately…” Jackie muttered through clenched teeth.
“Still single at thirty-three? Lord above, when is she going to start thinking about having children!” exclaimed Mrs Stein, feigning genuine concern. She had the indisputable advantage of having already seen all of her grandchildren get married. On that front at least, she was unassailable.
“I don’t know…” admitted Jackie finally. This was one game where it was absolutely impossible to cheat. Unfortunately.
“There really aren’t that many eligible Jewish boys left in New York,” whispered Jessica at her side, as though it were a state secret. “By the time you get to that age, all the good ones have already been taken.”
“You’re right,” agreed Addison gravely, giving her a look that would have been suited to far more serious matters than Amalia Berger’s love life.
“Well I guess that just means that I’ll have to give up this sudden good stroke of luck in love of mine to my granddaughter, in the hope that she eventually meets the right person,” said Jackie. She paused for a moment to reflect. “I mean, even if she met someone who didn’t just run off straightaway that would be fine,” she added quickly. Never be too greedy and shoot for the moon. Better to take things one step at a time.
“Well you know how Amalia scares them all away, dear… and my God, does she ever!” her friend Addison reminded her. To carry on making similar observations ran a serious risk of being struck off Mrs Berger’s carefully selected list of friends.
Jackie sighed bitterly. “Those wimps…” she mused aloud.
“Let’s face facts, you’d need nerves of steel to go out with your granddaughter,” said Jessica.
Jackie shot her a murderous look.
“My granddaughter is just a young woman who does not want to settle for anything less than the best,” she commented.
“Back in our day, you were anything but young at thirty-three. I don’t understand this fashion today of calling everybody ‘young’. You open the newspaper and it’s full of nonsense like ‘a young man in his forties’… What’s young about forty?” asked Jessica, just to make sure that everyone understood her thoughts on the matter.
Jackie, however, preferred not to engage in another debate and just sat there, eerily silent.
“Amalia works too much,” added Jessica hurriedly, clearly unwilling to relinquish the topic, “she really does, far too much. Who’s going to marry a woman who spends half her life in court? And heavens above, your granddaughter has an opinion on everything! And, I mean, with all that money! Why on earth does she insist on working? She has a trust fund large enough to buy herself a small country.”
“She works because she likes it,” said Jackie, jumping to the defense of her granddaughter despite feeling increasingly uncomfortable. “And she says that she enjoys it.”
“Exactly,” persisted the other. “She likes to argue. Does that seem normal to you?”
Jackie leaned back in her chair wearily. “Maybe she ought to meet someone who works in the same profession. At least a lawyer might understand her obsession for arguing about everything. Except that in this tiny damn city, all the lawyers already know each other. And if she hasn’t met anyone yet…”
“Almost all,” pointed out Mrs Stein, her face suddenly brightening as she cut her friend off. “My husband told me that we’re going to be having a new Assistant District Attorney.”
Around the table, all movement suddenly stopped. Mrs Watts actually even raised an eyebrow.
“And how do you know that?” asked Addison, intrigued.
“Oh heavens, dear – retired judges always know everything! How would they pass the time if they didn’t spend it gossiping about the legal world?”
Her reasoning was iron-clad, and the others nodded sagely.
“And is this new assistant district attorney Jewish?” asked Jackie quickly, revived by new hope.
And Jessica Stein gave her first truly victorious smile of the evening. Because by now it was clear that she had the situation totally in hand.
“Oh no, dear. He’s Irish,” she revealed joyfully as she watched Jackie Berger’s face turn pale. “Totally 100 per cent Catholic Irish.”