Sadness tells you that you miss someone or something. It helps remind you that you care about people and things. Sadness can be uncomfortable and seem not so helpful when it gets really big, but it can help you know what your values are and that you care about people.
Just like every other emotion, sadness can be helpful even if it doesn’t feel like it sometimes. You feel sadness when you have lost someone or something you care about, and you also feel sadness when things don’t turn out the way you hoped they would. Sometimes it can be hard to know why you are feeling sad, but usually if you notice your sadness and think about it for a few minutes you will be able to tell where it is coming from. For example, one day Hank woke up feeling very sad. He didn’t know why he was sad at first, and that really bothered him. When he sat and noticed his sadness on purpose, he was able to remember that a few days before he had tried really hard to make the soccer team and felt sad when he didn’t make it. Then he remembered that today was the first soccer team practice. Hank noticed that his sadness didn’t feel so big when he could understand where it was coming from.
When you recognize that you are feeling sad and you notice where it comes from, you will be better able to keep sadness from getting out of control. Sadness usually stays pretty small when you can notice what is causing it. Noticing sadness doesn’t always make the sadness go away, but it can help!A DBT-Based Skills Workbook to Help Children Manage Mood Swings, Control Angry Outbursts, and Get Along with Others