Between Rhonda, Miguel and the general tension in the office, Colin was exhausted. Not the kind of exhilarating fatigue that came with the satisfaction of a job well done, but the soul-sucking weariness of slogging through an undesirable chore. He'd loved this job when he'd first started. It was the answer to his prayers. Working in a publishing house allowed him to earn a living for his family and at the same time, work with authors and books.
He shook his head at his naivety and as he poured his third scotch of the night, he hoped he hadn't become completely jaded. After all, there were still seventeen years to retirement. Leaning back in his chair, he looked at all the books on his office shelves. Each one held a memory; authors he'd worked with, gifts such as an original volume of The Phantom of the Opera Gina had given him, and a leather-bound copy of The Great Gatsby he'd bought on his honeymoon. Maureen saw them as nothing more than dust-collectors and had tried a number of times to get rid of them.
He sighed. The thought of his wife drained him even further. They'd stopped talking to one another. It wasn't a fight exactly; they'd simply run out of things to say.
That wasn't true of Grace.
He turned the cell phone over in his hand. They could talk about anything. So far their conversations had been within the rules of the game — well, more or less — but now he wanted more. He wanted to know what made this extraordinary woman tick.
He sent her a quick message. At this late hour she was probably asleep, but she'd see it in the morning and he flattered himself that it would bring a smile to her face.
To his surprise, he received a reply and on a whim, he called her.
She answered on the first ring. "You're up late."
"I'm working," he said. It wasn't exactly a lie. He had been working earlier, but for the past half hour he'd done little more than stare into space. "Is it ok that I called?"
"Of course."
Now that he had her on the phone, he didn't know where to start.
"Everything ok?" she asked.
He swirled his drink around in the glass.
"Talk to me."
"It's nothing," he said. Nothing except that his world had turned upside down.
"I'm a pretty good listener, you know."
God, how he wanted to be with her. He wanted to hold her in his arms, skin to skin, with the bedsheets tucked around them. He wanted to tell her all about the insanity at work and listen to her opinions. He wanted to kiss her, and make love to her, and have all of life's worries melt away.
"Do you remember when we first met, you were trying to figure out if someone you knew was lying to you."
"Yes," she said. "I do." There was soft piano music playing in the background and he imagined her curled up with a glass of wine and a good book.
"Well, it's kind of like that," he said. "I'm in a situation where things just aren't adding up."
"What's your instinct telling you?"
"That I'd better watch my back."
"You can handle this, Marlowe. Whatever it is, you've got this."
He chuckled at her confidence in him. Sometimes he wasn't so sure.
"I wish I was there now," she said. "You sound like you could use a friend."
How right she was, but that was enough talk of work for one evening. "What are you listening to?" he asked.
"Something I downloaded from iTunes. It makes me think of you, and of our first night together."
He downed the last of his scotch. "How did we get here?" Her soft breath was just audible on the other end of the line. She was listening. "We're intelligent people, yet we've both created lives we want to escape from. How did that happen?"
"I don't know."
He let his head drop back against the chair. "We're actually leading double lives. I didn't know people really did that. I mean, in books and movies, sure. But . . ."
"It's not something I ever expected. It's kind of fun though."
Fun. Yes, it was that. Not to mention completely addictive.
There was a moment of silence before she spoke again. "Are you having second thoughts? About the game, I mean. And about . . . me."
"No. God, no. The game is the only thing that makes sense to me right now." The alcohol had loosened up his tongue. "You're the only thing that makes sense to me.
"My beautiful Grace, I don't want to exit the game. I want to stay in it forever."