19 Lessons from a Decade of Travel
In this book, I’ve tried to share with you all of the lessons I learned from a decade on the road—a decade as a nomad. But, for your convenience, I’ve also collected them here. To give you some lessons and advice for when you embark on the road. For when you get burned out and need a little inspiration. I know how important it is to travel light, so you have my permission to rip these pages out of the book and take them with you on the road.
Every day, people get up, go out the door to travel the world, and survive and thrive. Kids as young as eighteen years old make their way around the world without any problems. All that worrying and fear I had before my first trip was for naught. Once you hit the ground, getting around a place is the same everywhere. Trains, buses, taxis, tours. There’s a universality to travel. This traveling thing was a lot easier than people make it out to be. And you’re not the first person to do it. There is a well-worn trail that makes it easy for first-timers to find their way. If an eighteen-year-old can do it, so can you.
People who travel are better adjusted and less socially anxious. Traveling around the world has taught me how to be more social, be adept and more flexible, and, most importantly, understand nonverbal communication a lot better. It has made me more independent, more open, and, overall, just a better person. There’s no reason to be scared that you might not have “it” in you. In truth, no one does. “It” is only learned by experience. You’d be surprised how often you’ll surprise yourself.
It may seem scary just throwing yourself out there and talking to strangers, but we are all strangers in a strange land. At the end of the day, everyone is very friendly. It took me a while to get used to just saying “hello” to strangers, but now it seems like second nature. Your fellow travelers are just like you. They are alone in a strange place and are looking for others to be with. People travel to meet other people, and that means you. You’ll find that when you travel alone, you’ll never really be alone.
Whether it was in a restaurant in Vietnam, on a boat in Thailand, or walking into a hostel in Prague, when I least expected (or wanted) to meet people was when I met my best friends—those with whom I’d have the longest-lasting and most fulfilling relationships. And even though you may not see them for years, you still end up at their weddings, Christmas dinners, or family celebrations. Tight bonds are forged in travel—distance and time can’t break them.
The nature of travel doesn’t always lend itself to long-term romantic relationships. It’s hard to make something last when everyone moves in different directions and holidays end. If you get too attached too often, you’ll have nothing but heartache. Relationships on the road can be special—if you agree to live in the moment and savor the time you’ve been given. Dwelling on the future will only keep you from making that leap.
Once in a while, though, you’ll find someone you really connect with. Meaningful romance on the road does happen. And when you have nowhere to be and no place to go other than where you want, sometimes there is no reason not to follow someone you care for. Don’t force yourself to say another good-bye if you don’t have to. Pursue it even if the distance seems too vast and the circumstances not right, because you never know where it could lead or how long it might last. Once in a while, you meet the one—so don’t blow it.
I used to be a very rigid person, but traveling has helped me loosen up and expand my worldview. I’ve pushed myself to the limit, eaten new food, taken cooking classes, learned magic tricks and new languages, tried to conquer my fear of heights (unsuccessfully so far), and challenged my established views. Travel is all about breaking out of your comfort zone and enjoying all the world has to offer. You’ll never know what you like or are capable of if you don’t push your boundaries a bit.
Doing the canyon swing was tough. So was jumping off the boat in the Galápagos. As was eating the maggots in Thailand and caterpillars in Africa. Then I got my butt kicked in Thai boxing. And while I won’t do most of those ever again, I don’t regret trying any of them. Scare yourself once in a while. It makes life less dull. See point #7.
No matter what happens on the road, it’s never a mistake. As a wise person once said, “your choices are half chance, and so are everybody else’s.” When you go with the flow and let the road unfold ahead of you, there’s no reason to have regrets or think you made a mistake. You make the best decisions you can with the information at the time. I may not have ever found romance with Heidi but I don’t regret the choice I made. I did the best I could. And, in the end, learned thatthe journey is the adventure.
When you travel on a budget and need to make your money last, it’s easy to be cheap. But why live like a pauper at home to save for travel so you can skip the food in Italy, the wine in France, or a sushi meal in Japan? While it is good to be frugal, it’s also important to splurge and not miss out on doing once-in-a-lifetime things. Who knows when you will get another chance to dive in Fiji or safari in Africa?! Take every opportunity. You won’t regret it.
But remember you aren’t made of money, so don’t always feel like you need to party with your new friends every night or do every activity in a new place. Sometimes it’s okay just to sit around and relax or cook your own meal. Be frugal, but not cheap. Most of all, be conscious and deliberate about your money—decide what’s worth spending on, and what’s not.
I know guidebooks were an important part of my story (heck, I write them for a living), but the other important part was learning to get beyond them. Don’t be so glued to a book. You can travel fine without it, especially with so many good alternatives on the internet these days. You’ll buy it and hardly use it anyway. Just ask people for tips and information. That will be your best source of information, especially for those off-the-beaten track destinations and hole-in-the-wall restaurants that no one’s ever heard of but serve the best food you can imagine.
Even if you aren’t the traveler or person you want to be in your head, it’s never too late to change. Travel is all about change. The more you say “tomorrow,” the less likely it is that tomorrow will ever come. Traveling has shown me aspects of my personality I wish I didn’t have, and it’s also shown me I’m really lazy. I’ve always lived by the phrase “carpe diem,” but some days I don’t “carpe” much of anything. Every day is a chance for a fresh start and a new you. Don’t let your past define you.
Life is amazing. The universe unfolds as it should. Relax and just go with it. You can’t change the future—it hasn’t happened yet. Just make the best decisions you can today and enjoy the moment. Don’t get caught up trying to see all the “must-sees.” There’s nothing wrong with spending a day playing games, reading a book, or lounging by the pool.
There’re some great benefits to not knowing the local language—like miming out “chicken” to let the lady know you want eggs for breakfast—but learning languages is very helpful when you travel, and works out great when you meet other travelers. There’s also nothing like surprising people by speaking their language. Moreover, knowing basic phrases will endear you to locals, who will appreciate the fact you went the extra mile. You’ll find people will be much more helpful, even if you struggle to say hello.
Seriously. Science has proven it helps, and with all that beach time you may get on your travels, you could always use a little more. Being tan is great. Having skin cancer is not. SPF up.
All over the world, I have encountered amazing people who have not only changed my life but have gone out of their way to help me. It’s taught me that the old saying is true: you can always depend on the kindness of strangers. My friend Greg taught me long ago not to be guarded against strangers. That lesson changed everything for me. When you travel with an open heart, unexpected goodness will happen. 99.9999 percent of the people in the world aren’t murders, rapists, or thieves. There’s no reason to assume someone is trying to get over on you. Sometimes people are just trying to be friendly.
This is your trip. No one else’s. Everyone’s journey is their own. Do what you want, when you want, and for how long you want. Don’t let anyone tell you that you aren’t a real traveler for skipping the Louvre, avoiding some little town in Peru, or deciding to party in Thailand. This is your journey. You owe no one an explanation.
Above all: find a way to travel as often as you can to all the destinations you dream about. They will change your life. I know they changed mine.