“It’s strange how the most banal utterances sometimes make me marvel.” French novelist Gustave Flaubert (1821–1880) had an uncanny ear for bourgeois cliché, which he brought to bear most memorably in his Dictionnaire des Idées reçues (The Dictionary of Received Ideas). Intended as a companion to his unfinished novel Bouvard et Pécuchet, Flaubert’s satirical lexicon of conversational prejudices was published posthumously in 1911. Here is a selection:
| absinthe | Exceptionally violent poison: One glass and you’re a dead man. Journalists drink it while writing their articles. Has killed more soldiers than the bedouins. |
| beard | A sign of strength. Too much beard causes baldness. Helps to protect ties. |
| black | Always followed by “as ebony.” |
| black women | Hotter than white women. |
| Crusades | Benefited Venetian trade. |
| English women | Express surprise that they can have pretty children. |
| French | The greatest people in the world. |
| illusions | Pretend to have a great many, and complain that you have lost them all. |
| Italians | All musical. All treacherous. |
| money | Cause of all evil. Uri sacra fames. The god of the day—not to be confused with Apollo. Politicians call it emoluments; lawyers, retainers; doctors, fees; employees, salary; workmen, pay; servants, wages. “Money is not happiness.” |
| mushrooms | Should be bought only at the market. |
| old people | When discussing a flood, thunderstorm, etc., they cannot remember ever having seen a worse one. |
| sex | Word to avoid. Say instead, “Intimacy occurred …” |
| stroll | Always take one after dinner, it helps with digestion. |