December 3, 2014
“What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from.” – T.S. Eliot
Rancho Bernardo, CA
Lexi looked at her phone to check the time. She grunted when she saw only a few minutes had gone by since the last time she checked it.
“Is there somewhere you need to be?” Adam asked.
“Ah, sorry,” she replied and nervously brushed a long strand of hair behind her ear. At the request of her boss, Adam, she had come in from vacation to help on a special project. Her sister, Carey, was in town and being with her was more important but so was advancing in her career.
Adam put his pen down, leaned back in the heavy leather chair and asked, “How long have you been working for me?”
Lexi looked up and asked, “Um, I think it’s been two years now, why?”
“Just curious.” Adam smiled and leveled a devilish grin.
Lexi furrowed her brow as she met his gaze but quickly looked away; she recognized the glare and instantly felt uncomfortable. “Is there any way we can finish this tomorrow? Tonight is my sister’s last night in town.”
“You never told me you had a sister,” Adam said, curious.
“I do and it’s her last night in town,” she said, gathering papers on the oversized table.
Adam leaned over and touched her hand. “Don’t rush off.”
She squinted and snapped her hand back.
Adam chuckled. His pearly white teeth glimmered and his thin lips stretched across his lean face as he smiled. He was in his early forties, divorced and had a reputation around the office as a player. He had never sexually approached Lexi in the two years she had been his assistant, but his advances in the large biotech company they worked for were legendary.
Lexi continued to gather her things but at a greater pace.
“I got around to looking over the application you made for the associate director position,” Adam mentioned.
Not looking up at him, she replied, “Well, I hope you’ll seriously consider it.”
“I will for sure,” he said as he stood up and stretched. He adjusted his pants and walked around the table. As he passed the door, he pressed the lock.
Lexi heard the click and knew what he had done. She became stiff and looked at him. “What do you think you’re doing?” She stood up and turned to face him.
“Nothing.” He smiled as he approached her.
Lexi’s body grew tense as she pressed against the large table.
Adam stepped up to within inches of her and said, “I was thinking we could have an interview of sorts?”
Lexi cringed. When she first met Adam, she thought he was handsome, but the second he opened his mouth, his attraction went from a ten to a five. Then she learned about his conduct and the five melted to a zero.
He reached out and touched her hair. With a devilish grin he asked, “So are you blonde down below?”
Lexi twisted her head and pulled back. “Please, leave me alone.”
He closed the distance between them and pressed himself against her. He ran his hand down her arm and whispered, “If you do something for me, I will do something for you.”
Lexi’s eyes were pressed shut and her body rigid. She wanted to scream but couldn’t. Instead she again begged, “Please, leave me alone.”
“How badly do you want that position?” he asked, rubbing her arm.
“Adam, no!” she snapped.
“I’ve heard about you, you’re a party girl and we both know party girls like to have fun.”
“Stop.”
He leaned in with his face and attempted to kiss her neck, but she pulled away.
“No, I don’t want this.”
“Yes, you do.”
Fear was the main emotion driving Lexi. She didn’t want to lose her job, but she also didn’t want to be sexually assaulted. Her mind raced with what she should do. Her mother’s stern voice popped into her thoughts. “Lexi my girl, if you want to get ahead, you’ll have to do what you have to do.”
His lips met her neck and she recoiled.
“No, stop it!”
His right hand migrated down to her thigh.
Visions of her childhood rushed into her mind followed by the emotions of that long ago time. She could see the man, a man she was told she could trust, coming into her bedroom. The same fear that was in her then was present now. Her gut tightened when she saw the man’s face and his smell, a mixture of tequila and old cologne. It would linger in the air after he’d leave, only making her feelings of hopelessness and shame more intense. After a while the assaults became physically bearable, but what never did was that shame and self-loathing. Being only seven, she was incapable of fighting back, but now was different. She wasn’t young nor was she weak.
Adam began to aggressively kiss her neck and his right hand was now between her legs.
She clamped her thighs tight, but he forced his hand through.
“No!” she yelled.
He ignored her pleas.
In her mind she saw the scared little child she once was. She couldn’t be that girl again; she wouldn’t be, she then told herself.
“Adam, no, stop!”
He still ignored her.
With her right hand she reached back onto the table and felt for something to use as a weapon. Her fingers found the cold metal-framed stapler and grasped it tightly. Not giving him another warning, she raised the stapler but hesitated. Doing this would change her life, but she couldn’t think about it because allowing him to sexually assault her would also change her. She couldn’t be a victim again. With her mind made up, she raised the stapler higher, and with all her strength she swung and smacked Adam in the left side of his head. She had done it, but what she didn’t realize then was she had taken the first step in a journey that would shatter the old Lexi and give birth to a new woman.
The blow sent Adam reeling. He fell to his knees and reached up with his hand to the point of impact. “You bitch, you hit me!” he cried out. He brought his hand back and looked stunned when he saw blood.
Lexi felt powerful. She didn’t reply to his comment because for her words were meaningless, action was the only means of communication she’d engage in. With an anger that surged with every second, she continued her counterassault. She squinted and lifted her right hand high in the air and smashed his head again with the stapler.
He grunted and collapsed to the floor.
The two strikes against Adam didn’t satiate her rage, it only intensified it.
Adam looked up at her, his face now covered in thick blood. His eyes grew to the size of saucers when he saw she wasn’t finished with him. He whimpered and crawled under the table.
Lexi still held the stapler and intended on using it some more. She tried to pursue him under the table, but his kicks prevented it. Using her rage as a benefit, she turned the table on its side. The strength she felt from her pent-up anger was intoxicating.
Adam rolled onto his back and screamed, “Help!”
Loud bangs at the conference room door seemed distant to her. Her focus was on making Adam pay for all his transgressions. She kicked him in the crotch and straddled his limp body.
Tears mixed with blood covered his face. He begged, “Please no, don’t.”
“No?”
“No, please don’t,” he again begged.
“Are you fucking serious? I say no and it means yes, so using your definition, you want me to hit you again!” she asked, looking down on him, the stapler held high above her head.
Louder bangs and hollering came from behind the locked door.
Adam cocked his head towards it and screamed, “Help me, hurry, she’s trying to kill me!”
Never in her life had she felt so good, so liberated. In the back of her head she knew this would not end well for her. There wasn’t any doubt she would lose her job, but the beating she was giving Adam would land her in jail most likely.
The door crashed in and several people poured in, one being Jeff, a friend of hers and member of the corporate security detail.
Lexi didn’t turn to see; she didn’t care. It didn’t matter whether she hit him once or five times, the punishment would be the same. It was this rationale that led to the last blow. Her emotionless gaze shifted to joy as a smile stretched across her face.
Adam’s eyes turned to meet hers and fear filled him as he realized his beating wasn’t quite over.
She saw that the two previous hits had done severe damage to his face and head. A large gash bled heavily on the side of his head, just above his ear, and the second to the top of his head was equally destructive. “This is for all the women you’ve ever hurt,” she declared. and Using all her strength hammered his face with the bloody stapler in a bone-crunching blow that shattered his front teeth and nose.
Adam grunted out in pain but a second later fell unconscious.
Satisfied, she tossed the stapler and exhaled heavily.
Jeff stood behind her, a Taser in his hand. “Lexi, why?”
She craned her head towards him and answered, “We were just discussing my application for associate director.”
“What?” Jeff asked, confused by her nonsensical reply.
“You don’t need to use that, I’ll be good,” she said, huffing loudly as she caught her breath.
A large crowd had gathered at the open door. Murmurs and gasps could be heard all around.
Jeff came up behind her and grabbed her arms. He pinned them behind her and cuffed them together. “Why, why did you do that to him?”
Lexi grinned and replied, “I helped him understand some crucial things.”
“What?”
“Adam now understands what no means.”