December 5, 2014
“From the end springs new beginnings.” – Pliny the Elder
Solana Beach, CA
Carey inhaled deeply and sat up as if an electrical shock had woken her. She looked around the small condo clearing her eyes. The mid morning sun was peeking through the blinds telling her she was late. She leapt from the couch, her bed for the past week, and began to get dress. “Lexi! Get up, wake up. We’re late!” Carey yelled as she scrambled around the small one-bedroom condo, getting dressed. “Lexi! Get up, wake up. We’re late!” Carey yelled as she scrambled around the small one-bedroom condo, getting dressed.
Lexi was awake and heard Carey but ignored her pleas to get up. Instead she grabbed a pillow and covered her pounding head. Not content with the evening ending at two in the morning, Lexi brought the party home, which included inviting Jeff back to her place.
Carey, half dressed, stormed towards Lexi’s bedroom but stopped instantly when Jeff stepped out of the bathroom and into the hallway.
“Mornin’,” Jeff said, scratching his head.
“Excuse me,” she said, pushing past him and into Lexi’s room. She walked over, snatched the pillow and tossed it across the room. “Get up, we’re late. The clock isn’t working, and by the looks of it outside, it’s well past nine. Now get up!”
“Argh, my head hurts.” Lexi sighed.
Carey hurried back into the living room. “Where’s my phone? Have you seen it?” she asked Jeff, who was in the kitchen, drinking a glass of water.
“Nope,” he replied. “Um, what’s up with the power?”
“I don’t know, but I need my phone,” Carey snapped and headed towards the couch.
Lexi felt bad for not getting up as promised, but her head was pounding from the many hours of drinking. She looked on her nightstand and saw her phone. Calling out to Carey, she said, “Found mine.” She pressed the home button, but nothing happened. She then hit the power button, but still the phone was dark. Unable to get it to work, she tossed it back on the nightstand and sank back into her thick pillows.
Carey pushed bottles, glasses and bags of chips aside on the coffee table, looking for her phone. “Where’s my phone?”
Knowing she had to get up, Lexi rose, put on a pair of pajamas and exited the bedroom. “Sorry, sweetheart, we’ll get you on the next flight out, I promise.”
“Argh, where is it?” Carey moaned.
Jeff watched Carey frantically look for the phone. “Say, what’s your number? I’ll call it,” Jeff said, pulling his phone from his back pocket.
“415-555—”
“Never mind, my phone is dead too,” Jeff replied, fiddling with his phone. “Hmm, hey, you have a 5S charger?”
“Yeah, on the counter,” Lexi answered. She then looked at Carey and barked, “Sis, calm down, you’re being grossly obsessive.”
“Here it is!” Carey exclaimed when she found her phone buried between two cushions. She saw the screen was dark and tried to turn it on, but the phone remained dark. “Damn, it’s dead too.”
“Carey, please stop yelling about everything. My head is pounding,” Lexi beseeched.
“Hurry, get dressed,” Carey begged, tossing her phone on the coffee table.
“What is going on? There must be a power outage,” Lexi commented when she tried to turn on several light switches. She walked to a large window and pulled up the blinds.
Bright sunlight splashed across the room. Carey was right, it was later than nine in the morning.
Lexi looked out and down on the parking lot of her condominium complex. From her second-story vantage point, she could see a dozen neighbors working on their cars. She thought it odd but quickly dismissed it. She turned back around, went to her room, grabbed her phone and came back. “I’ll be right back. I’m going to run to the car and charge this.”
Opening the door brought in more of the late morning light.
“I’m coming with you,” Carey said.
Jeff didn’t say a word; he just stood in the kitchen, drinking water.
From the second-floor balcony, they had a bird’s-eye perspective of the entire three-acre complex. The parking lot spanned out to their right and Carey took notice of the people and inoperable cars.
“I don’t think I’ve seen so many of your neighbors gathered at one time in one place,” Carey commented.
“Only during the annual summer soiree, but at this time it’s strange,” Lexi said, referencing Palm Grove’s yearly community party.
Palm Grove Condominiums was a luxury complex two miles west of the coast in Solana Beach. It consisted of four two-story white stucco-sided buildings spread across three acres. Each building held twenty condos, with each side having ten, five up and five down. The buildings formed a U-shape with a large swimming pool and community club house in the middle. A maze of concrete sidewalks connected all the buildings and the amenities. Small patches of perfectly manicured grass, shrubs, date palms and flowering plants surrounded each building.
For San Diego standards, the complex was older, having been built in the 1980s, but the location was great and the prices fit Lexi’s budget. She could have afforded a larger place, but she refused to take money from her mother, who was financially well off. Their relationship was difficult when she lived at home but only turned worse after she left home at eighteen for college. Her mother had tried to engage her, but it didn’t matter, Lexi had given up on her long before. Carey questioned her sister’s disdain but could never get Lexi to openly discuss it. Whatever the reason, she disliked her mother and wasn’t about to share why.
Lexi and Carey made their way down to the parking lot. The numbers of people they saw grew as more and more people exited their condos with disconcerted looks on their faces. She pressed the fob to unlock her white Honda Accord, but the lights didn’t flash like they normally did.
“Hmm, it’s not working,” she said and looked at the keys in her hand to make sure she had the right set. She pressed the unlock button several more times but nothing. Besides her phone and the power outage, this was another clue that something was terribly wrong. She looked around and saw she wasn’t alone, as her neighbors were struggling to get their cars unlocked and started.
She inserted the key into the door and manually unlocked the car. She climbed in, put the key in, and just before she turned it, she paused to say a little prayer, “Please turn on, please.” She turned the key, but nothing happened, not even a click. The car was dead. She tried again and again, foolishly hoping that with a random attempt, the engine would roar to life, but it didn’t.
“What’s going on?” Carey asked.
“It won’t start. Nothing works. It’s completely dead,” Lexi replied, frustration in her tone.
Irritated, she rested her head back, closed her eyes and began to think about what could cause something like this.
Carey looked around and saw a group of people close by. She rushed to them in hopes they’d have answers.
Lexi’s head was still pounding and she felt dehydrated from the hours of heavy drinking. Unsure what to do and fatigued, she laid her head against the steering wheel and thought.
A loud tap on the top of the car startled her.
She looked up and saw Jeff towering above her. “You scared the shit out of me!”
“Sorry.”
“You’re in security, what’s going on here?” she asked.
“I’m not sure if checking unlocked doors and handing out entry passes makes me an expert, but I can see something isn’t right,” he replied. “Pop the hood and I’ll take a look.”
She did as he requested.
Jeff didn’t know much about cars but felt compelled to at least look.
“Anything?” she asked, getting out of the car.
“To be honest, I wouldn’t know what to look for, but if your car won’t even make a sound, I’d have to guess it’s the battery or maybe the alternator.”
Lexi looked around and saw a couple dozen other vehicles with their hoods up.
Carey raced back over to them, clearly excited. “I know what’s going on!”
“Is it a good thing?”
“Um, no,” Carey blurted out.
“You look happy, even downright excited,” Lexi said.
“Knowing the problem is the first step to finding a solution, isn’t that what you say?” Carey said, reminding Lexi of a common quote she used.
“Anyway, what did you hear?” Lexi asked.
Jeff’s massive stature moved around the car and stood behind Lexi.
“That guy over there said it was a terrorist attack,” Carey said, pointing towards a small group of people huddled near a car. “His name is Greg.”
“What kind of attack?” Jeff asked.
“Something to do with a nuclear bomb,” Carey answered quickly.
Hearing that it might have been an attack, Lexi marched over to the group.
“Which one of you is Greg?”
A pudgy young man raised his hand.
“Why do you think this is some sort of terrorist attack?” Lexi asked.
The man looked at her and could see the stress and fear in her eyes.
Jeff and Carey came up to stand behind Lexi.
“Hi, nice to meet you too,” the man responded.
“My sister said you know this is an attack,” Lexi pressed.
“I never said I knew, but if I had to logically guess, I’d say this is either a massive CME or EMP.”
“In English,” Lexi stressed.
Jeff spoke up. “EMP stands for electromagnetic pulse. I learned about it in the Army. I don’t know the other acronym.”
“Coronal mass ejection, a solar flare,” Greg answered.
“A what?” Lexi asked.
“The sun spews out highly charged radioactive particles that overwhelm the grid, but an EMP can do greater damage or more precise damage to small electrical devices, like why our phones don’t work or cars won’t turn over,” Greg proudly answered, seemingly happy with his breadth of knowledge.
“How do you know this stuff?” Lexi asked. “Are you a scientist or something?”
“This guy, hell no,” one of the other men standing next to Greg replied.
“Not a scientist, but I’m knowledgeable about these things,” Greg said, defending himself.
“He works at the Apple store in UTC,” another man blurted out with laughter.
“Listen, guys, this shit is serious and I’m pretty sure I’m right,” Greg said again, defending his theory.
Lexi began to process what Greg was saying. She didn’t know whether to believe him or not, but regardless, something had happened and it frightened her.
“Anything else you can think of?” Lexi asked, determined to gather information.
“Um, not really,” Greg replied.
“How long before everything comes back on?” Lexi asked.
Greg looked around sheepishly and said, “It probably won’t. If this was an EMP, it’s fried everything. I don’t know if this is a local event or widespread, but what I know about these things is we can expect the lights to be off for a while.”
Lexi’s face grew ashen. She knew what that meant and fear began to grow inside of her.
“I’m scared,” Carey said, grasping Lexi’s arm.
“So our cars, the lights, everything won’t work again, that’s what you’re telling us?” Lexi pressed him.
“Pretty much.”
Jeff pulled away from the group and marched towards his Chevy Silverado truck.
Lexi watched him go through the same motions. He tried to unlock—nothing. He opened it manually and, like everything else, the truck failed to turn over. After several failed attempts, he exited the truck and shrugged his shoulders.
“What are we going to do?” Carey asked Lexi.
“I don’t know. I need time to think,” Lexi answered.
“Do you want some advice?” Greg said.
“Go ahead,” Lexi replied.
“If you’re smart, you’ll get the hell out of town.”
“Why?” Lexi asked.
“Because as soon as everyone figures out that the power isn’t coming back on and no one is coming to help them, people will go ape shit.”
“You don’t think anyone is coming to help, the police, the Army, no one?” Lexi asked.
“I can’t guarantee that, but look, if this is what I think it is, then EMS, the government itself will be overwhelmed. You’re on your own; no one is coming to save us.”
“It sounds like you’re saying this is the end of the world,” Carey said, her voice cracking.
“Like I said, I don’t know for sure, but this has all the clues of an EMP attack. The first thing you should be doing is finding a way out of here and fast.”
“Why, go where?” Lexi asked.
“Anywhere out of the city, because soon this place will come apart at the seams.”
The last words Greg said kept repeating in Lexi’s head. It all sounded so depressing and hopeless, but it also sounded unbelievable. Needing to find something to do, she returned to her condo and went looking for food. Lexi opened the refrigerator and stared at the empty shelves. Her stomach growled, but there wasn’t much food to eat. She stepped to the overhead cabinets that served as her pantry, but she only found a skimpy selection. Irritated and feeling overwhelmed, she slammed the cabinet door.
“What’s wrong?” Carey asked, nervously chewing on her fingernails.
“I’m hungry and I have nothing to eat.”
“Did you look in the freezer?”
Lexi then remembered she had a pint of ice cream. She opened the freezer door and almost cheered when she saw the sweating carton of Haagan-Dazs chocolate. “Score!” She grabbed it and pulled the top off. “This will hit the spot.”
“I want to go to Mom’s,” Carey said.
“Not going to happen,” Lexi shot back.
“What are we going to do, just sit here and wait?”
“In the meantime there isn’t anything we can do.”
“Mom will have an idea of what we should do,” Carey stressed.
“Um, no, she won’t.”
“We have to do something.”
“I am,” Lexi said, walking towards the kitchen.
“What?”
“Eating, I’m starving and I need to eat. I suggest you join me,” Lexi quipped.
“Not hungry.”
“Letting this melt is considered a sin in most countries,” Lexi joked.
“Lex, I really think we should go to Mom’s house,” Carey again said.
“Listen, you go. I have no desire to see her, plus you don’t even know if she’s there,” Lexi replied, then shoved a spoonful of melting ice cream in her mouth.
“Last I talked to her, she said she was coming home later today.”
Lexi squinted and cocked her head. “Wait a minute, you said you didn’t talk to her. Did you lie to me?”
“What was I supposed to do, let you sit in jail? She fronted me the money to bail you out!”
“Carey, you promised you weren’t going to tell her!”
“I didn’t know what to do,” Carey cried out.
Lexi’s face turned flush. She scooped a large dripping spoonful out of the carton and flicked it at Carey, hitting her in the chest.
“Hey, what the hell?” Carey squealed.
“You bitch, you know how I feel about Mom. You deserve that.”
“If it wasn’t for me and Mom, you’d still be in jail. How about showing some gratitude,” Carey blasted and picked the scoop up with her fingers. She tossed it back at Lexi and barked, “Be grateful.”
Lexi took another scoop and flung it at Carey.
Carey retaliated with a pillow from the couch.
Soon both women were tossing anything they could get their hands on.
A loud knock at the front door jolted them back from their adolescent behavior.
“Who can that be?” Carey asked.
“Maybe it’s Jeff.” Lexi jumped up, ran to the door and opened it quickly. “Oh, hi, Liz.”
Liz was a neighbor of Lexi’s that lived in the adjacent building. Lexi couldn’t call her a friend because the use of that word was held for a selective exclusive few. While many overused the word, Lexi only labeled those who she knew and could trust. She would joke that in order to be called her friend you’d have to be willing to bury a body with her.
“Did you guys hear?” Liz asked.
“Hear what?” Lexi asked.
“The power outage was a terrorist attack,” Liz said rapidly while looking over Lexi’s shoulder.
“You want to come in?” Lexi offered reluctantly. She didn’t like Liz much because she tended to drone on, and whenever an opportunity presented itself, she’d link everything to politics.
“Yeah, sure,” Liz said and stepped in.
Lexi closed the door and followed Liz towards the couch.
“We heard the same thing,” Carey said, wiping her shirt off.
“It’s scary,” Liz said, taking a seat next to Carey but avoiding the mess of the melting ice cream.
“We met a guy who says we should get out of town right away. He claims everything is going to get crazy,” Carey said.
“This stuff is scary, but don’t believe that nonsense. I’m sure the president is on top of this right now,” Liz said confidently.
Lexi rolled her eyes and plopped into the thick cushioned chair.
“What? It’s true, we’ll be fine. What everyone needs to do is calm down; don’t listen to tinfoil-hat right-wing nut jobs and all their crazy conspiracy theories. I heard Greg too and he’s just a wacko. I say we should just enjoy this for what it is. The government and military will be here soon to take care of everything, trust me.”
“What is this?” Lexi asked.
“A vacation! Relax and have fun,” Liz said with a glowing smile.
Lexi exhaled deeply and thought about what Liz was saying. She wanted to believe in Liz’s confidence, but she couldn’t. It had been drilled in her head long ago not to turn over one’s trust completely to anyone or anything. She also couldn’t believe this could turn out so rosy. It might not be as bad as Greg described, but it wasn’t as wonderful as Liz made it sound either.
Challenging Liz, Lexi asked, “If the military or government is so awesome, how did they let this happen to begin with?”
“It’s the republican’s fault.”
“Huh?” Lexi asked.
“Yeah, I bet this is just retaliation for all the wars he started.”
“You know…” Carey chimed in.
Lexi gave Carey a hard stare.
“What?” Carey asked, referencing the look.
“Liz, while I can appreciate your deep and devoted enthusiasm, I really don’t have the energy to sit and listen to politics,” Lexi said.
“I’m not being political, just stating facts,” Liz said, defending her comments.
“Those aren’t facts, those are opinions.”
“Why else would someone attack us? It has to be in response to the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.”
“Riddle me this, Liz, I believe September 11th happened before those wars,” Lexi debated.
“That was also because of republican imperialism.”
Lexi gripped the arms of her chair firmly and stood up. “Okeydokey.”
“You’re not a republican, are you? How is that possible? You’re a woman,” Liz stated.
“I’m neither a republican nor a democrat; I’m a person who is fucking tired of hearing bullshit. The door is right there, see yourself out.”
“Rude!” Liz bellowed.
Carey chuckled.
Liz strutted towards the door, turned and said, “You wait and see, this whole thing will be over in a week or so, and we’ll be able to thank the president for making it better. Once again he will have bailed us out.”
“What is fucking wrong with you?” Lexi asked.
Liz grunted and grabbed the handle.
“Go ride your fucking mindless zombie crazy train to the altar of your demi-God president!” Lexi yelled.
Liz opened the door and slammed it behind her.
Not finished ridiculing Liz, Lexi hollered, “No man or woman should be worshipped. How about thinking for yourself, loser!”
“Jesus Christ, Lexi! I never knew you were such a hater of the president.”
“I’m not, I’m indifferent. I just hate ideologues who view the world through the prisms of politics. This entire view that one party is great and the other is evil is pure adolescence and ignorant. Did you know that Adam was a democrat? Yeah, while they declare one side is so bad, he’s out there waging his own personal war on women. So don’t tell me one side is so perfect and the other is to blame for all the bad that happens. It’s pure mindless bullshit.”
“Damn, you’re fired up!” Carey exclaimed.
Lexi fell into the chair, breathing heavily. “I just hate people, especially political people. Morons through and through.”
A loud banging at the door made them jump.
“Is she back for more?” Carey asked, referencing Liz.
“God, I hope not,” Lexi said and got up and opened the door. “It’s you, thank God,” Lexi said to Jeff, whose face and arms showed telltale signs of being in a fight. “What happened to you?” Lexi asked, pulling him inside.
“I got jumped. Luckily your neighbor helped me out.”
“Neighbor?” Lexi asked.
“Frank, the guy next door, older Hispanic guy, says he was a Border Patrol agent.”
Lexi thought for a moment, the name didn’t ring a bell, but she did remember seeing an older man living in the condo next to hers. He kept to himself and they had only shared greetings over the time she had seen him living there. “Oh yeah, that guy.”
Jeff walked further into the condo and looked around at the mess. “What happened here?”
“Oh, we were having a pillow fight.”
Jeff plopped into the chair and asked, “Do you have anything to eat?”
“It’s funny you ask that,” Lexi said.
“No, she doesn’t,” Carey replied.
“I’m starving.” Jeff groaned.
“Me too, but do I need to get a first aid kit or something?” Lexi said, pointing out the bloody scrapes on his arms and face.
“I’m fine, nothing major,” Jeff said as he examined his arms.
“Where did this happen?” Carey asked.
“Not too far from here, near that frozen yogurt shop on the corner near the freeway. I was just strolling by when I heard a woman cry out for help. I went over to see what’s up and I found three guys around her car. Anyway, I asked what’s up and the only response I got was a punch to the side of my head. It dropped me hard. I’m lucky because out of nowhere your neighbor came up and ran the guys off.”
“What happened to the woman?” Carey asked.
“She took off.”
“Her car worked?” Lexi asked.
“Yeah, in fact, I saw several other cars driving. They were all older cars.”
“What was Frank doing there?” Lexi asked, curious as to why he’d be there.
“He said he was walking back to his place from work,” Jeff replied; then his tone shifted. His voice lowered and he stammered for a second. “Frank confirmed what that guy Greg said earlier.”
“That it’s the end of the world?” Lexi asked.
“Pretty much.”
Carey began to nervously chew on her fingers.
“What do you think we should do?” Lexi asked.
“Food, we need to get some food and water. After that we can make a plan,” Jeff said.
“Where do you have in mind?”
“That Vons down the street.”
“If the power is out, how are we going to pay for groceries?” Lexi asked with a skeptical tone.
“I have one hundred and twenty bucks, what do you have?” Jeff said.
“Maybe twenty,” Lexi replied.
Carey stopped chewing for a second and answered, “I don’t keep cash.”
“Once again you prove to be the shining example of the millennial movement.”
Carey raised her middle finger.
“Enough talking, let’s get going before it gets too dark,” Lexi said.
As the minutes passed, the reality of what had happened sank deeper into Lexi’s mind. There wasn’t a plausible explanation that beat what Greg claimed happened, and having Frank, a former Federal law enforcement officer, confirm it made her feel ill.
The three left Lexi’s condo with Lexi in the lead. She raced down the stairs and marched towards the road with purpose in her stride.
Carey was right behind her, hoodie in hand to keep her warm against the cool December afternoon. She was an inch taller than Lexi, almost five foot seven inches with shoulder-length brown hair, which was thick and typically pulled back. She kept her natural color as compared to Lexi, who dyed her hair blonde. While proclaiming she wasn’t a victim to style or fashion, Carey followed the tight-knit regime of the supposed revolt against it. Most of her clothes were purchased from consignment stores, makeup was kept at a minimum and her hair kept as natural as possible.
Lexi didn’t care much for this look, but she was happy that Carey hadn’t gone over the edge like some women who went for the alternative look.
“Lexi, Lexi, hold on a minute,” a woman called from the condo below hers.
Hearing her name called, Lexi stopped and turned to see Jessie Vander, her neighbor and occasional party friend. “Hi, Jess, no time to chat,” Lexi hollered back.
Jessie ran up to them, a bizarre look on her face. “Some strange shit going on, isn’t it?” Jessie was tall and lanky with overbleached blonde hair. Often black circles outlined her eyes, giving her a sickly look. Lexi knew she wasn’t sick but mostly strung out from heavy alcohol and drug use.
“Yeah, real strange,” Lexi answered.
“Where you off to?” she asked, her eyes wide and speech frenzied.
Lexi knew that look. Jessie was high on something and it wasn’t life.
“Hi, Jess! We’re off to the store to get food,” Carey blurted out. She knew Jessie too from her visits to see Lexi. Each trip they’d go out at least once.
Lexi cringed when Carey offered the information because she knew what was coming next.
“Oh, good, could you please get me a pack of Marlboro lights, some jerky, spicy if they have it, and a bag of Twizzlers?”
“Sure,” Carey said.
Again, Lexi physically cringed as her sister was saying everything she would not.
“I don’t have any cash; can I pay you back later?” Jessie asked.
“Um—” Lexi said but was interrupted.
“Don’t worry about it,” Carey cheerfully offered.
Jeff looked on and was getting impatient, “We’ll get your stuff. Come on, we need to go.”
“Thanks, guys,” Jessie chirped and ran off.
“Way to go, Carey,” Lexi snapped and turned.
“What? What did I do?” Carey asked, running up behind her.
“We have finite cash and you’re offering it to Jonesing Jessie Vander.”
“Jonesing Jessie?” Jeff asked, curious about the nickname.
“Because she’s always jonesing for drugs,” Lexi replied.
Jeff chuckled and said, “I get the feeling you don’t like her.”
“I like her,” Carey chimed.
“Not you, Lexi.”
“Screw her.”
“What happened, does she come over asking for sugar all the time?” Jeff joked.
“Can we stop talking about her?” Lexi asked as she shuffled along.
Carey’s grin turned to a frown. “Her boyfriend killed Lexi’s dog.”
“What, how?”
“Enough, I don’t want to talk about it,” Lexi snapped.
Carey fell back a few feet behind Lexi and tugged on Jeff’s sleeve.
He leaned closer.
“Some guy named Oscar, a badass drug dealer, kicked the poor dog to death. It still saddens me to think about it.”
Lexi stopped and turned, “It not only saddens me, it pisses me off. Now can we stop talking about it? The girl is a strung-out druggie who runs with dog-murdering scumbags.”
Jeff nodded and said, “Sorry about your dog.”
Lexi spun around and replied, “I’m sorry too.”
When they hit the street, Lexi finally saw more evidence that the outage was widespread. Cars sat abandoned, left by their owners hours before. Most had their hoods up and trunks open. People were milling around outdoors and the sounds of talking, yelling, and laughter echoed from the small apartment complexes that dotted the street frontage.
They talked about the outage and what was to come.
“In some ways we had this coming,” Carey said.
“Who had it coming?” Lexi asked.
“Us, the United States, we deserved this in some ways,” Carey said.
“When did you become such a hippie? Is this what Mom’s good money is being wasted on?” Lexi asked.
“What?” Carey asked.
“You’re the perfect example of the pampered and clueless generation. You complain about silly stuff but bask in the wealth the country had. So naïve.”
“Naive? This coming from the princess who cares about her looks and her perfect blonde hair.”
“I care about how I look, but I don’t go out of my way to make a statement about looks then make sure I have a specific look. So much talk about judgment from your type and all you do is judge,” Lexi shot back.
“You know, if this is what I have to deal with, I’ll just go to Mom’s right now.”
Lexi stopped and grabbed Carey.
Jeff kept his mouth shut and observed the sibling fight in fascination.
“I love you, but I need you to wake the fuck up,” Lexi chastised.
“Now you’re suddenly worried? You didn’t seem that way an hour ago.”
“I have a healthy skepticism, sorry, but at least I don’t stress over it then shift into ‘we deserved it’ mode.”
“You’re such a stress monster, always have been,” Carey responded as she jerked her arm away and continued to walk.
Lexi jogged up to her and again stopped her. “Let’s agree to this. I’ll stop talking, you stop talking, and let’s get some groceries and go home.”
Carey looked at her and nodded in agreement.
Jeff came jogging up and said, “Hey, guys, this doesn’t look good.”
They turned and saw the chaos at the Vons.
Lexi and Carey had been so engaged with their petty fight they didn’t notice what was going on around them.
“Not good,” Lexi said.
“Looks like everyone else had the same idea we had,” Jeff said.
“What should we do?” Carey asked, a tinge of fear in her voice as she was watching people running around in a panic. Their screams of hate, fear and desperation echoed off the surrounding buildings.
“We have to eat. Let’s go,” Lexi said and began to march towards the mob.
The closer they got to the parking lot, the greater the chaos came into sharp relief. People were dashing in and out of the smashed front doors. The yelling, screaming and cries of panic grew louder and louder as they drew closer.
An elderly man came rushing out of the store with a full cart but made it only ten feet before two teenage boys ran over to him. One punched him in the face while the other grabbed the cart. The teen thugs had been waiting for the opportunity to prey upon someone and knew the man was an easy target. The man cried out after being struck; he stumbled and fell to the hard pavement. With a look of terror on his face, he reached out in vain to stop the attackers, but his meager attempt was no match for the young men. Both teens were laughing as they charged ahead in Lexi’s direction with the cart of food.
Seeing this enraged Lexi. As if on autopilot, she ran up to them and said, “Hey!”
The two boys stopped and laughed at Lexi.
One stepped around and put his arm out. “Get out of the way, bitch!”
“Say hello to my friend,” Lexi said then leveled a small canister of pepper spray at the one who called her a bitch and pressed the button. A long stream sprayed the boy in the face. She then turned to the other boy and sprayed him. Both of them cried out in pain.
Jeff came over to help and pushed the boys down.
“That will teach you to pick on old people!” Lexi screamed.
They howled in pain as they ran away.
“Oh my God, that was awesome!” Carey bellowed with pride.
Lexi ignored her and jogged over to the elderly man and helped him up. “You all right?”
“Yes, yes, thank you.”
Jeff smiled as he watched Lexi provide charity and comfort to the elderly man. He was proud of her; she didn’t have to help, she chose to. There was a big difference and it spoke volumes about who she was.
Lexi grabbed the cart and wheeled it over to the man. “You going to be okay?”
“Yes, thank you again, you were a Godsend.”
“Take care,” she replied.
The man briskly walked away.
Lexi cracked a slight smile, turned to her comrades and said, “Let’s go shopping.”
The scene inside the store was even more chaotic than what they witnessed outside. The first problem they encountered was they couldn’t see. With the power out and no windows, the entire store was bathed in utter darkness.
The howls, screams and cries seemed amplified inside the four walls. Beams from flashlights bounced and darted around the massive store.
“What’s the game plan?” Jeff asked.
Lexi was frozen. She knew they needed food, but this chaotic scene was surreal. How could people fall apart so quickly? she asked herself.
“Lexi?” Jeff asked.
“Let’s get in and out, fast,” she replied.
“I don’t think this is a good idea,” Carey said, her eyes as wide as saucers.
“No time to chat, let’s grab what we can and get back outside as fast as possible,” Lexi ordered.
Jeff darted off and disappeared into the darkness.
Lexi grabbed Carey’s hand and followed. Within ten steps they were immersed in the intense darkness. Each time someone bumped into them, Carey jumped.
Knowing where she wanted to go, Lexi let her memory guide her to the canned food aisle. The floor was covered with dropped food, making their steps awkward.
Once in the aisle, the chaos intensified. People bounced off them every other step.
Carey grasped onto Lexi’s hand tightly, but that wasn’t enough to keep them together after a surge of people pushed past them.
“Lexi, where are you?” Carey cried out.
“Right here,” Lexi replied. She spun around and looked, but all she could see were faint glimpses of people as random beams of light reflected off them.
“Carey, just stay put,” Lexi called out.
No reply.
“Carey!” Lexi yelled.
Still no reply.
Frantically, Lexi headed out of the aisle and stopped. “Carey!”
“Lexi, help, help me!” Carey screamed.
Lexi knew she was in trouble. She turned and headed in the direction of Carey’s voice but tripped after two steps. She hit the floor hard, and as she tried to get up, a small herd of people came and toppled over her, pushing her back into the floor.
“Lexi, help!” Carey screamed in fear.
“I’m coming!” Lexi responded, trying to get off the floor. Arms, legs and hands were hitting her as she struggled to rise. “Get fucking off me!” Lexi screamed.
“HELP!” Carey screamed, her voice now further away.
Lexi got to her knees but again fell when several people ran into her. “Argh!” she hollered in frustration.
“Help me!” Carey again screamed, her voice moving away from Lexi.
Panic began to set in for Lexi as she began to contemplate never seeing Carey again.
Angry, scared but determined, Lexi thrashed and punched her way out of the mass of people on the floor. She got to her feet and sprinted in the direction of Carey’s pleas, which were near the entrance.
“Carey, where are you?” Lexi called out.
No reply.
“Carey!”
A muffled whimper came from the checkout counters.
“Carey, is that you?” Lexi asked.
“Lexi!” Carey cried.
A man’s voice barked, “Grab her arms while I spread her legs.” This was followed by another man: “The bitch won’t stop squirming!”
The pit of Lexi’s stomach tightened and her rage intensified. She pulled the pepper spray from her pocket but fumbled and dropped it. She bent over to find it, but she couldn’t, her hand instead found a heavy can. She grasped it and headed directly towards the voices.
A faint light came in from the entrance, allowing her to make out silhouettes near the checkout lanes. She raced towards them and again hollered for her sister, “Carey!”
“Lexi, here!”
In front of Lexi she found two men, one was holding Carey down while the other desperately fought to pull her pants down.
Acting purely on instinct, Lexi rushed the man grabbing at Carey’s pants and smacked him in the head with the can. The man’s head bounced off the side of the counter. She then turned her attention to the man wrestling with Carey’s upper body. She drew back to hit him but was instantly brought down by the first man, who had quickly recovered from her strike. As she fell to the ground, her head hit the corner of the opposite counter. When her limp body finally fell, it landed on top of Carey. She rose to get up, but the second man kicked her in the head. It was the last thing she remembered.
December 6, 2014
“Courage is being scared to death…and saddling up anyway.” – John Wayne
Solana Beach, CA
Faint voices were the first thing that came to Lexi. She could hear them, but something made them seem distant. A pain soon became noticeable. Then the memory of the men in the grocery flashed in her mind. She sat up and began swinging and kicking.
“Easy, easy, you’re okay,” Jeff said.
“Huh, what? I don’t understand,” Lexi said, her eyes wide and her breath rapid. She looked around the room. It was her condo, but she didn’t know how she had gotten there. “Carey, where’s Carey?”
“I’m here, please rest,” Carey said, coming up behind Lexi.
Lexi turned and asked, “The men, what happened to the men?”
Carey sat next to her on the bed and soothed her. “They ran away. Right after you hit your head, several others came to help.”
“But are you all right? Did they hurt you?” Lexi asked, genuinely concerned for her sister.
“A bit scraped up, some bruises, but I’m okay. I’ll be okay,” Carey said, rubbing Lexi’s arm.
Lexi reached up and touched the knot on her head. “Ouch.”
“You got a real egg there,” Jeff joked.
Lexi swung her legs off the bed and sat up.
“Sweetie, you need to rest,” Carey said.
“No, nope, not going to happen,” Lexi replied.
“Carey’s right, you need to rest,” Jeff insisted.
Lexi craned her head and finally noticed the sun was beaming through the plantation shutters. “Did I, was I…um, how long was I out?” Lexi asked, confused.
“You hit your head hard. You were semiconscious most of the night but slept like a baby for the rest,” Carey answered.
“I was out all night?” Lexi asked.
“Yeah,” Jeff said.
Confusion was written all over Lexi’s face. She looked at Jeff then at Carey. “How did you get me back here?”
“I carried you,” Jeff said. “You’re pretty light.”
“We have to leave. We can’t stay here any longer,” Lexi mumbled with a panicked voice. She stood upon wobbly legs and braced her weight against the headboard.
“You see, you can barely stand,” Carey said.
“Greg was right. We need to get out of here; people are fucking crazy, you saw them. We have to find a way out of here.”
“And go where?” Carey asked.
“Out of the city,” Lexi said.
“But where?”
“Mom’s boyfriend, he has a ranch; it’s away from the city,” Lexi said.
“Justin’s place outside of Vegas?” Carey asked.
“Yes, it’s gotta be safe there. It’s far enough away from any city; he has hundreds of acres. We can hide there, wait this out,” Lexi said.
“I don’t know about that, it’s so far away,” Carey replied.
“She’s got a point. It’s not a bad idea,” Jeff said, agreeing with Lexi.
“You’re freaking out, Lex,” Carey snapped.
Lexi turned and snapped back, “I’m not freaking out; I’m trying to make sure we survive. Go put a bag together, we’re leaving.”
“And exactly how are we getting there?” Carey barked.
She was right and Lexi knew it. Walking wasn’t the best way, but if she had to do it, she would. Lexi ran her fingers through her long hair as she thought.
Carey gave her an irritated shrug.
“I hated when you did that as a kid and I hate it now; stop acting like that. We don’t need attitude, smart-ass comments or negative bullshit; we need creative and logical ideas.”
Carey responded by shaking her head, a disgusted look on her face.
“Are you two done yelling at each other?” Jeff asked.
“Sorry, yes, we are,” Lexi replied while keeping her eyes glued on Carey.
“Good, because I have an idea on where we can find a car,” Jeff said, smiling.
“There it is, South Coast Auto,” Jeff said with a grin stretched across his face.
“Smart move for a security guard,” Lexi quipped. She didn’t really know Jeff, but during the time they had spent together, she found him capable and even physically attractive.
The lack of operational vehicles made life and getting anywhere impossible, but they both became quickly aware that older cars worked. Jeff got the idea to go to used-car dealerships and see if any on the lot would run. The closest to her place was South Coast Auto on Pacific Coast Highway in Solana Beach. The car lot itself was small, only covering three-quarters of an acre, but it had several classic cars on the back lot.
“How did you know there would be cars here that might work?” Lexi asked as she happily strutted onto the lot. She was wearing tight jeans, an old Ramones T-shirt and a leather jacket. After the incident yesterday she wasn’t taking chances, so she took several knives from her kitchen. Her lack of adequate weaponry and zero knowledge on how to effectively fight brought great frustration. The thought that she’d be struggling to survive in an apocalyptic world was not on her radar before; now she wished it was.
Having Jeff with her gave her some comfort, but she wanted weapons and she needed training.
Jeff ran to the short white trailer that operated as the offices for the car lot. He checked the doorknob but found it locked.
Lexi came up right behind him.
A large window was inches from the front door; he peered in. “Bingo.”
“What?”
“Found the lockbox.”
“Listen,” she said.
He paused. “Listen for what?”
“The ocean, you can hear it from here, so strange and yet wonderful.”
“How about watching my back while I figure out how to get in here.” Jeff smirked.
Lexi turned and scanned the full lot. All makes and models of cars were there, but the ones they were interested in occupied the back four spaces.
The thick marine layer cast a gloom over the area.
She still hadn’t seen anyone and still didn’t understand why.
The sound of glass breaking tore her away from her post. She turned to see Jeff’s elbow in the window.
“I think I cut myself,” Jeff grunted.
“Why not use that brick over there?” Lexi asked and pointed to a small red brick lying at the bottom of the medal stairs.
Jeff looked and smirked. “Too late now.” He reached in with his long arm and unlocked the door’s deadbolt latch. He grabbed the handle and opened the door. “Voila.”
“Let’s just pray one of those cars runs,” she said and followed Jeff inside.
He went directly for the lockbox mounted on the far wall of an office, turned the knob and opened it up. “Now which keys do I need?”
“One second,” Lexi said and stepped in front of him. She looked small next to his big frame. She grabbed the bottom of the lockbox and pushed up.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“This,” she replied and banged on the bottom of the box until it popped up an inch. She grasped it and pulled it off the wall.
“Nice!” Jeff said.
“I saw the screws and knew it was just hanging on them, nothing more.”
“Let’s go car shopping.” Jeff laughed.
They turned, exited and froze when they heard the action of a pump shotgun.
Jeff was in front of her and immediately protected her by pushing Lexi back inside.
His forceful shove sent her flying back inside the trailer and against the wall. She lost control of the lockbox and dropped it. She looked up but only saw the white metal door, as Jeff had slammed it closed.
Yells came from outside.
Jeff replied, but she couldn’t understand what he said.
Silence.
She stood and took a step towards the door when a shotgun fired outside.
The door burst open and Jeff’s lifeless body fell back onto the floor.
Lexi froze. She looked into Jeff’s open but lifeless eyes.
“Get the girl!” a man ordered.
She gasped for breath, as she had been holding it out of fear. She quickly looked in both directions and saw a back door that exited out of the far right office. Unsure if anyone was waiting on the other side, she ran for it. She reached it just as someone raced inside the front. There weren’t stairs beneath, so she tumbled five feet to the pavement. Not taking a moment to look around, she bolted for the back of the lot and cleared a small chain-link fence.
Behind her she heard whoever it was yelling for her to stop.
Lexi’s heart was pounding hard as she sprinted for her life away from the lot towards the coast. She didn’t run in a straight line, she took a right at the first street, then the first left down a small alleyway and another right. She ran and ran and ran until the voices of the men chasing her diminished.
Weary and unsure what to do, she took shelter behind a dumpster and collected her thoughts. “Think, Lexi, think,” she panted. Visions of Jeff being shot rushed into her mind. She then questioned not helping him or doing something. “Oh, Jeff, I’m so sorry, argh! What is wrong with the fucking world?”
Exhausted physically and emotionally, she allowed herself to relax. Sweat streamed down her face and stung her eyes. She pulled off the leather jacket and tossed it. Again, she thought of Jeff. How could that happen? Why did that happen? She needed to find a car, find a weapon, get Carey and leave.
Something crashed behind her. She jumped up with fists raised. When she saw it was a cat, she cursed, “Fucking cat!”
The large black and white cat purred and meowed. It approached Lexi with its back raised high.
She stared at the cat and gave in. “Hi, kitty, what are you doing?” she said, scratching the cat’s back. Her mind then thought about how the cat didn’t know the world had ended, it was going about its business as usual. In fact, none of the animals cared except maybe for those thousands stuck in shelters never to be fed again. How many would starve? The images of dogs and cats dying like that made her then think of the zoos; then her mind shifted to the prisons around the country. All of those people imprisoned would possibly die. That could have been her fate had she not been bailed out by her sister. Then Carey came to mind. She was sitting in her condo, waiting for them to return victorious with a car, but now that wasn’t going to happen.
A myriad of emotions ran through her; anger, rage, sadness, and regret all collided. She pushed them out and focused on not feeling sorry for herself, she needed to channel her emotions and find a way to get a car and get to the ranch in Nevada.
The cat leaped from the top of the dumpster and pounced on a large mouse. It wrapped its jaws around the head and bit down.
The mouse tried to flee, but the cat’s deadly clawed grasp was too much. When the cat’s sharp teeth penetrated its skull, the mouse squealed loudly then fell silent.
The cat looked at what it had done and began to purr. It lifted its bloody paw and licked it clean.
At first, Lexi was shocked but then impressed. The cat was surviving, even killing to do so. Lexi needed to take a lesson from this cat if she was going to survive the new world.
Carey paced the balcony a hundred times, her fingers in and out of her mouth as she chewed away. She knew this nervous tic was disgusting but couldn’t stop even though her fingers and cuticles were bleeding.
The sun was heading west towards the horizon, its rays shining down on her. Before she would have stopped and appreciated the beauty, but now the sun’s position made her fearful.
“Where are you guys?” she groaned anxiously.
“I think you’ve worn a groove,” a voice behind her said.
Carey turned to see who was talking to her.
Seeing she was startled, he said, “Sorry, my name is Frank. I’m your sister’s neighbor.”
“Ah, yeah, I heard about you,” Carey replied, her arms folded and hugging her chest.
“You seem worried?” Frank asked, stepping further out on the balcony. He pulled a cigar from the front pocket of his button-down shirt. He ran his tongue over it to give it some moisture then pulled out a pocketknife and cut the tip off the end. He shoved it in his mouth and pulled out a lighter. With a single click a thick blue flame shot out. He ran the flame over the other end and puffed. With each puff a yellow flame appeared near the end and smoke jutted from his lips. He turned off the lighter and blew a mouthful of smoke on the bright cherry end. “You smoke?” he asked.
“Not cigars.”
“That’s right; your generation are all dopers. Always getting high,” he mocked.
“Do you want something?” Carey asked.
“Nope, just wanting to chat, nothing more.”
“Hmm,” Carey replied and went back to pacing.
“So where did your sister go?”
“She went to look for a car,” Carey answered, then asked, “How did you know she was gone?”
“Because you must have asked where she was a thousand times. It’s not like you’re quiet.”
“Oh.”
“So her and the big guy went to go find a car?” Frank laughed. His laugh quickly turned to a heavy cough.
“Why is that so funny?” Carey asked, spinning around and glaring at him.
He cleared his throat and answered, “I wish her luck.” He then took a long puff.
“So what’s your story?”
“No story, just an old, divorced, federal employee who’s dying.”
“Huh?”
Frank took another puff, looked at the cigar and replied, “Inoperable lung cancer.”
Carey took a couple steps towards him and asked, “You’re joking, right?”
“Yeah, found out six months ago.”
“Then why the hell are you smoking?” Carey smirked.
“You must have missed the word inoperable,” Frank quipped.
“That sucks, I’m sorry.”
“It does, but what can I do?”
“Well, sorry.”
“Don’t be.”
“I heard you think it’s the end of the world,” Carey said.
“Pretty much.”
“Why aren’t you leaving or doing something?” Carey asked.
“Doing what? Going where? When I die, I want to be in my bed.”
Carey chewed on her finger and thought. “I guess that makes sense.”
“Um, if you’re looking for a car, I think I can help you.”
“You can?”
“Yeah.”
“How?”
Frank took a long puff and reflected on his past. “My ex had the best attorney, or maybe I had the worst. Anyway, my prized possession, the one thing I loved more than anything, even her.” Frank laughed then paused. “Maybe that’s why we’re divorced.”
“A car?”
“Not just any car, but a 1961 Impala SS 409.”
“Sounds nice.”
Frank had been leaning against the railing and stood up. “You see, she bought it for me as a birthday present years ago. Well, me being a trusting dumb ass, I didn’t think twice about the title being in her name.”
Carey took another step towards him, interested in his story.
“You see, they don’t pay Border Patrol agents that much, and I lucked out and married a rich girl. While the car was a gift, I couldn’t prove it was during the divorce proceedings, and possession is nine-tenths of the law, they say.”
“Are you sure it runs?”
“From what I’ve seen, I’d be willing to bet my left testicle.”
Carey gave him a sour look when he made the disgusting comment.
“Anyway, the car is yours. I don’t need it and I’m almost dead anyway.”
She perked up and stepped closer. “Where is it, and how can we get it from your wife’s house?”
Frank tapped the cigar and watched the ash fall to the ground. He gave Carey a smile and clarified his previous comment. “The car is in La Jolla and she’s not there, so go help yourself.”
The mention of La Jolla made Carey think about her mother. If there was a car, she and Lexi could go and check on their mother. There would be no way for Lexi to say no. The main problem was convincing Lexi to allow their mother to come to Nevada with them.
To say Lexi was terrified was an understatement. Never in her life had she been so scared. As the minutes ticked away and turned into hours, she sat hidden behind the dumpster. A battle was waging in her mind whether to leave or just wait a bit longer. With only a knife for defense and no real skills on how to use it, she felt vulnerable, especially after what had just happened to Jeff. How was she really going to keep herself and Carey alive if she couldn’t help Jeff? She resented her actions back at the car lot; she couldn’t stop thinking that maybe she could have done something, anything to help. Grief racked her thoughts when she imagined him not dead but suffering and now possibly being tortured by those men.
“Stupid, stupid, stupid, you’re so fucking stupid,” she muttered while slapping her head with an open palm.
Fearful of being seen, she had even forgone getting up to urinate, instead settling on the safe way, which was going in her pants. Fear, humiliation and a feeling of being inept overcame her. She had to find the strength, she had to. Carey depended on her; she couldn’t let her down.
Convinced that traveling under the cover of darkness was safest, she sat and waited until the sun disappeared over the horizon.
Like the other nights, the early evening was pitch black and with no better time to go, she stood and stepped out from behind the dumpster. She knew the route she’d travel and had planned each turn she’d take while lying in wait all those hours.
She found comfort in the dark, but it wasn’t enough to prevent her heart from racing. The sounds of horror and violence echoed from all directions. Gunfire cracked to the north while screams and shrieking pleas for help came from the south. To the east a window shattered somewhere, followed by voices arguing then a gunshot.
The city had fallen into violence and chaos in a matter of days. She found it hard to believe that society could collapse so quickly. She questioned how civilized a civilization they actually were. How could this be? she asked herself. Why so fast?
Counting each step helped her focus and kept her mind from wandering into those deep recesses of fear and paranoia. She heard people close by but couldn’t see them and knew they couldn’t see her either. She’d pause and listen, then move quickly.
When she made the left onto the condominium property, she sighed. She bent over and wiped the sweat from her brow. Knowing she was less than a minute from her front door, she decided to sprint the remaining distance.
As she cleared the stairs up to her second-story balcony, a booming voice called out, “You’re late.” Her heart skipped a beat. She grabbed her knife and called out, “Who’s that?”
“Frank, your neighbor.”
Unable to see him and unsure of his intentions, she warned him, “I have a knife; don’t think about trying anything.” She held the knife blindly out in front of her.
“Your sister is worried sick about you. A sweet girl, that one.”
“What about my sister?”
“We chatted earlier. She’s in your unit right now, frantically waiting for you to return.”
Lexi again began her ascent and reached the landing. She sidestepped left and reached her door, still keeping the knife at arm’s length. “You just stay where you are.”
A tortured metal squeak came from his folding chair as he adjusted. “I’m not going to hurt you. In fact, I might have saved your life.”
Lexi hated that she couldn’t see him. “Oh yeah?”
“Go ask your sister.”
Lexi reached for the doorknob and expected to find it locked, but it wasn’t. “Stupid girl,” she said, turning it and stepping inside.
Just as the door closed, Frank said, “I’ll be right here when you want to talk about my gift.”
Carey called out, “Lexi, is that you?”
The room was bright with the orange glow of two dozen candles. Her eyes quickly adjusted. It felt good to be able to see again. “Yeah, it’s me.”
Carey ran and hugged her. “I’m so glad you’re back. I was worried sick.”
Lexi returned the warm embrace. It felt good to hold Carey again.
After the two reconnected, Lexi pulled Carey off and chastised her, “Why wasn’t the door locked? You have to protect yourself; you don’t know who could come in here.”
“Jessie just left; she came by to say hi. She was coming back in a bit; we were going to have a smoke. I need something to take the edge off.”
“Carey, this is not a good time to get stoned. We can’t let our guard down, ever.”
Carey suddenly noticed Jeff wasn’t there. “Where’s Jeff?”
Lexi placed her right hand on Carey’s cheek and replied, “The day was a total loss. No car and…”
“Where is he?”
Lexi shamefully looked down.
Carey took Lexi’s right hand in her left and squeezed it. “Lexi, answer me.”
Unable to make eye contact, she solemnly said, “He’s dead.”
“What? How?”
Lexi pulled away from Carey and stepped to the couch and plopped down. Her shoulders shrugged forward and her head hung low. “Everything was going so smooth. I should’ve known that was an omen, nothing goes that smooth, it was too easy.”
Carey sat next to her and just stared in disbelief.
“We got there, found cars that might work, found the keys and BAM,” she said, motioning with her hands then slapping them together hard when referencing the shock of confronting the armed men. “We turn; there’s a group of armed men. I think they were all men. I didn’t get a good look.” Lexi paused and thought again about what happened. “He saved my life. He saw the men, pushed me back inside and closed the door.”
Carey reached for Lexi’s hand.
“All I know is I’m on the floor and, boom, a gun goes off. They shot him.”
“How did you escape?”
“I just ran. Thinking about it now, it all seems like it happened so fast. I hit the floor, I look up, I hear a gun go off, his body comes flying back inside, he’s dead, I find a back door and run. I ran for…I don’t know how long I ran, I just ran. I found a dumpster off of Acacia just up from Depot Sushi. I hid behind it until it got dark.”
“Oh, my God,” Carey gushed, her hand covering her mouth. She looked at Lexi and could see the guilt and fear written all over her face. “I’m so sorry you had to experience that.”
“I’m sorry for Jeff, I couldn’t help him. There was nothing I could do,” Lexi said, punishing herself.
“You said there was a group, all with guns.”
“But I couldn’t do anything; I’m about as useless as tits on a bull. How am I supposed to help keep you alive if I can’t even fight?”
Carey scooted closer and put her arm around Lexi. “We’ll make it because we’re together. We’re tough you and I, we’re resilient. We’ll make it through this, I know we will.”
“I’m beginning to doubt that, Carey. Yesterday I get knocked out; today I ran away like a coward as Jeff was murdered. How are we going to get to a safe place if we can’t get a car?” Lexi lamented.
“Lexi, don’t beat yourself up. There wasn’t anything you could do.”
“We need a car, but more importantly we need weapons. Not pieces of shit like this either,” she said, tossing the kitchen knife on the wood cocktail table.
“We’ll figure it out,” Carey said.
Lexi sighed and leaned back into the couch.
Carey watched the dark shadows bounce off Lexi’s face. Seeing her suffer made her suffer.
“I just feel worthless,” Lexi pouted.
A loud thump at the front door jolted them.
Lexi jumped up and grabbed the knife.
“Hey, you locked the door!” Jessie called from outside.
“Hold on,” Carey said, bounding towards the door. She unlocked it and opened it wide.
Jessie raced in holding a bag and vaporizer. “Pedro got me some good stuff today.”
Lexi glared at Carey.
Jessie looked up and said, “Lex, hey, how are you doing? You don’t look so good.” She briskly walked in and took a seat in the cushioned chair across from them.
“Jessie, it’s not a good time,” Lexi said.
“What?” Jessie asked, looking up. “I think it might help, you look like hell.”
“Please, Jessie, now is not the time,” Lexi urged.
Carey looked back and forth but gave in to her sister’s wishes. “Jeff is dead. He was killed earlier today. Maybe tomorrow.”
“Oh no, what happened?” Jessie asked.
“He and Lexi were getting a car…” Carey said but was interrupted by Lexi.
“Jessie, please, go, now!” Lexi barked.
Raising her eyebrows and looking shocked, she stood up and growled, “Screw you two.” She stormed out and slammed the door.
“Did you have to be so mean?” Carey asked.
Lexi gave Carey a blank look and said, “I love you, but you’re clueless.”
Carey took the insult but didn’t respond. She melted into the couch and thought.
“I need to go wash up,” Lexi said, standing up.
“The sinks don’t work,” Carey informed her.
“No!” Lexi bellowed.
“Stopped working not long after you guys left.”
“Whatever, I’m going to bed; I’m tired and please lock the door.”
“Not to take away from us mourning Jeff, but I have some good news,” Carey said.
“Unless it’s something like the power is coming on tomorrow, I don’t know if it can be good news.”
“I found a car,” Carey confessed.
Lexi snapped her head around and asked, “Where?”
“Your neighbor Frank, he’s giving us his.”
Lexi leaned back and shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t understand.”
“He said he doesn’t need it.”
“Who gives away a car, who?” Lexi asked, her tone signifying her skepticism.
“He does, I guess,” Carey responded.
“That doesn’t make any sense, none at all,” Lexi said, perplexed.
Carey stood up and headed for the door. “Come, find out for yourself.”
“Hold on, wait, do you trust this guy?”
“He’s harmless.”
Lexi shook her head and said, “No one is harmless these days.”
Carey knocked on Frank’s front door.
Lexi stood behind her, holding a flashlight in one hand and a knife in the other.
Hacking and hoarse coughing could be heard inside.
Carey again knocked.
“I’m coming, hold your horses,” Frank hollered then coughed.
Carey looked back at Lexi and said, “I forgot to mention, he’s dying from cancer.”
Deadbolts unlocked; then the door opened softly. A soft orange glow poured from the condo. Frank stuck his head out and asked, “Yeah, what do you want?”
“It’s Carey. Lexi is here with me. I told her about the car.”
“I was expecting you.” Frank chuckled then coughed again. He opened the door fully and waved them in.
Carey took a step forward, but Lexi grabbed her arm. “Let’s chat out here.”
Taking this cue, Carey stopped.
Frank wiped his mouth and said, “I need the fresh air anyway.” He came outside and stepped over to a lawn chair. He wore a thick maroon robe and flip-flops.
Each step Frank took, Lexi took one away from him. She figured he was harmless as Carey said, but trusting him wasn’t something she could do just yet.
Frank lowered himself slowly then quickly plopped into the chair. He adjusted himself until he was comfortable and coughed. After wiping some phlegm, he said, “Now you understand what I was telling you earlier.” This comment was directed at Lexi.
“Yeah, it makes sense now, but it also doesn’t make sense. Who gives a functioning car away?”
“I see you’re becoming jaded already. That’s good, stay that way, it’ll keep you alive longer.”
“So why are you being so generous? You don’t know me. In fact, I used to ignore you in the past,” Lexi said.
A distant gunshot rang out.
Carey and Lexi both swiveled their heads and looked.
Frank didn’t bother; he knew it was far off.
Lexi faced Frank and again said, “You didn’t tell me why you’re giving away your car.”
“Because I don’t need it, it’s just that simple. I’ll be honest too…”
“You weren’t before,” Lexi interrupted.
“Ha, you have a sense of humor too. You see, I’m dying; I have a couple months, maybe less. Where am I going to go? I have nothing but this place, boxes full of crap and a car that I believe runs. I spent a lifetime protecting Americans and I want to go out doing what I did most of my adult life. If that car works, then you two have a shot at surviving this thing. You’re right, you don’t know me and I really don’t know you, but we have something in common.”
“What’s that?” Lexi asked.
“We’re human, and the reason this world, all of this is falling apart so fast is because people have forgotten that. They’ve forgotten what it truly means to be human,” Frank said and paused. He looked to the sky, smiled softly and continued, “I know my life won’t end when I die. I know this is but one expression of my journey. I’m actually looking forward to that next part. If I could give you more, I would.”
“Do you have a gun?” Lexi asked rudely.
“Lexi, he’s being so generous already,” Carey reprimanded.
“Ha, you definitely have game, girl. Yes, I think I have one you can take with you.”
Lexi stood up, anxious, and blurted out, “Great! So tell me where I can find this car.”
“Easy, tiger, I appreciate how eager you are, but going at night is something I wouldn’t suggest,” Frank countered.
“We’re leaving tonight, period. I can’t sit around and wait for something bad to happen. Everything is falling apart so fast; I need to get me and my sister out of here.”
“Maybe he has a point,” Carey chimed in.
“Carey, Jeff is dead. He’s dead, don’t you get it? We went for a simple walk to check out cars and he was shot,” Lexi exclaimed.
Frank leaned back; he was shocked to hear about Jeff. “Your friend, the big guy I helped earlier?”
“Yeah, he was gun downed today at the car lot off of PCH,” Lexi replied.
“I’m sorry, he seemed like a nice guy,” Frank said, genuinely offering his condolences.
“Frank, I don’t know you, but you’ve just given us the one thing that might save our lives. I can’t wait around anymore. We need to head out now, get the car and get the fuck out of town,” Lexi rambled.
Frank could tell by her frantic pace that she was in a bit of shock. He meant what he said about helping them, and if he was going to die anyway, why not go out fighting. “How about I go with you?”
Lexi looked at him oddly and instantly rebuffed him. “No.”
“Lex, he can help,” Carey said.
Looking at Frank’s frail body in the chair, Lexi wasn’t so sure about that assessment. “Look at you, you can barely stand.”
“I won’t deny I’m not in the best shape of my life, but I’m just tired from that hump yesterday. Don’t count me out, I can be of help,” Frank declared and stood.
“Give me a gun, plenty of bullets, and let’s hit the road,” Lexi said.
Frank stepped forward, put his hand out and said, “Deal.”
DECEMBER 7, 2014
“I would rather die a meaningful death than to live a meaningless life.” – Corazon Aquino
Solana Beach, CA
Frank took pride in his past career as a Border Patrol agent. After graduating college with a degree in natural resources, he first went to work for the Department of the Interior, but he quickly found the job as an interpretive ranger was boring. He wanted some action, so he shifted to the law enforcement side of the house. His first job as a law enforcement ranger found him at Lake Mead, working undercover narcotics. After several weeks on the job, he was hooked, he loved it, but soon that enthusiasm waned, and by year two he was burned out. Following a friend who had made the jump, he applied for the Border Patrol; there was a bonus and the transfer was easy.
The years melted away quickly, and before he knew it, he had spent over twenty-five years in the service of the country he loved dearly. Along the way he had found and lost love but never was blessed with children. It was the only thing he truly regretted.
Upon agreeing to help the girls, he needed to ready himself for the thirteen-mile walk. He didn’t want to admit it, but he was concerned. His health was fragile and the short walk from his part-time job at a smoke shop the day before had taken it out of him. Even all his bravado couldn’t hide his weakened state from Lexi.
Lexi showed up at his front door and banged. “Come on, old man, we’re packed and ready to go.”
Frank looked at his watch. “Hmm, it’s a new day,” he mused as he mentally chalked up another day alive.
Lexi again banged on the door.
“It’s open, come on in!” Frank cried out.
Lexi and Carey came in.
“You ready to go?” Lexi asked.
Carey stood behind her and was struggling with a strap on her small backpack.
Frank walked over to his dining room table and said, “Come over here.”
Lexi did as he said and got excited when she saw the armament and equipment that was spread out. Unable to contain herself, she reached for the first pistol she saw, a Glock 17.
Not concerned about upsetting the girls, and establishing that he was the alpha, he swatted her hand away. “You don’t just come up and start finger fucking someone’s firearms.”
At first Lexi recoiled, but she regained her composure and said, “You said you were going to give me one.”
“I am but not that one. First thing I need to know is, have you ever shot a gun before?” Frank asked. He had his hands on his hips and looked down on Lexi.
“Nope,” Carey answered, still fiddling with her pack.
“No, but how hard can they be?” Lexi asked.
He picked up the Glock and held it gently in his large rough hands. “They’re pretty straightforward, but to someone unskilled and untrained, they could end up being nothing more than a paperweight if you don’t know how they function.”
Lexi reached out to grab the Glock, but he pulled away.
“Little lady, if I’m going to give you a gun, you need a little training.”
Lexi grunted, “Come on.”
Done with whatever she was doing, Carey eagerly stepped forward and said, “Teach me.”
Frank smiled at Carey then gave Lexi a smirk. “Your sister is a smart girl.”
Lexi exhaled heavily and crossed her arms.
Not wanting to argue, Frank went into a quick class on the Glock. He covered the parts, functionality and basic fundamentals of marksmanship. As he covered what was needed, he could see Lexi intently listen without further complaint.
He knew she wanted to get on the road fast, but giving her a gun without the proper knowledge and at the minimum this quick class was not helping her. Once he felt confident she could handle the gun, he gave her and Carey a surprise gift. “These are tactical vests, they’re a bit big but will come in handy,” he said, holding up two black vests.
Lexi grabbed hers first and exclaimed, “They’re heavy.”
“That’s because they have ballistic armor in them, right there,” he said, pointing to plates shoved in the front and back under Velcro fasteners.
Lexi examined the vest and quickly figured out how to put it on. Her face lit up when she felt the weight of the vest on her shoulders. Happily she smacked her chest and hollered, “Yes, this is awesome.”
Carey took hers, but as soon as she wrapped her small hands around the shoulder strap, she dropped it. “Oops, sorry.”
Frank picked it up and said, “You can’t hurt this thing.”
Carey took it from him and looked at it oddly. “How do I put it on?”
“Like this,” Frank answered and proceeded to show her how it worked.
Lexi laughed watching Carey put on the oversized vest. “You look hilarious.”
Frank picked up a holster from the table and attached it to the front of Lexi’s vest.
“Now where’s the pistol that goes in that?” Lexi asked happily.
“Here,” Frank said and held out the Glock with the slide back.
Lexi took it, hit the slide release and looked at him.
He knew what she wanted; he gave her a fully loaded magazine and said, “Remember, only point at something you wish to destroy.”
Lexi snatched the magazine, inserted it into the magazine well and pulled the slide back. “You won’t have to worry about that.”
“Good.”
“But there is one problem,” Lexi said.
“What’s that?”
“If that is the qualifier, I’ll be pointing it at everyone out there,” she said and holstered the pistol.
Del Mar, CA
A brisk cool wind swept over them as they walked past the dog beach in Del Mar. The sun was making its appearance gradually in the east as the gray marine layer turned from a dark shade of gray to a lighter one.
Frank stopped on the bridge and breathed in deeply. The expansion of his chest and lungs caused him to cough, but it was worth the pain and discomfort just to taste and smell the fresh ocean air.
Lexi hadn’t noticed Frank had stopped because she had been outpacing him since they began their hike.
“Hold up. Frank is taking a break,” Carey hollered to Lexi.
“Not again,” Lexi grunted as she came to a stop. She turned and saw Frank standing on the bridge with his arms extended and his eyes closed.
“What are you doing, Frank, praying?” Lexi yelled.
He opened his eyes and only smiled. Not wanting to keep them waiting too much, he finished his appreciation and caught up with them.
“Are we going to stop every half mile?” Lexi asked harshly.
“Maybe, but will getting there two hours earlier make a difference?” Frank asked.
“I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a hundred times, timing is everything,” Lexi answered.
“Ease up on him,” Carey chastised.
“Fine,” Lexi grunted.
“You’re such a grumpy pants,” Carey joked to Lexi.
“Hungry?” Frank asked, unzipping a fanny pack and pulling out two PowerBars.
“Sure,” Lexi said, taking one.
Frank ripped open the package and took a huge bite. He chewed a few times and said, “When you’re close to death, you get insight like never before. It gives you a perspective that can’t be matched. I literally look at the world differently, I treat people differently, I am different.” He laughed and continued, “It took getting terminal cancer to make me a nice guy.”
Carey gently punched his arm and said, “You were always a nice guy, the cancer just allowed you to come out and express yourself.”
“I’m not so sure about that,” Frank said, taking another huge bite.
Lexi looked around and said, “It’s relatively quiet, only a few people milling around.”
In the distance she saw Interstate 5 and the thousands of cars that sat upon it. What once was a thriving roadway was now turned into a graveyard of vehicles.
Every few minutes upon their hike they’d hear sounds that reminded them how dangerous the world had become; a scream or gunshot would echo and disappear. A few times they heard the rumble of a car engine, but the car itself was never seen.
Lexi felt safer having a gun and body armor. She even felt a little safer having Frank there. Even though he was in a weakened state, having him there provided a deterrent against attack. For all those women who screamed equality before the world changed, they didn’t realize that their equality came from men behaving well. In a world where the rule of law was gone, the political mantras of the past melted away like a snowball in hell. She wasn’t fool enough to believe that two women walking were safer than if they had a man with them.
She studied Frank as he stood a few feet away from her, eating his nutrition bar. In the years she had lived in her condo, she would see him come and go but never took notice; in fact, she never took notice of much unless it revolved around her shallow existence. He was ruggedly handsome, with a square jaw and flawless skin save for two small scars, one on his cheek and the other on his chin. She was sure there was a good story to go with those. His short-cropped hair was black with gray throughout. His frame was big, but she could see that he was half the man he used to be; the cancer had eaten away at his muscles. His dark brown eyes had specks of green and hazel. The one thing that took away from his handsome look was his teeth, years of tobacco and coffee use had done damage to his enamel and color. But where he had physical flaws, his personality made up for them. He was gruff at first meeting, but after he got to know you, he’d let you see the real Frank, a warm and funny guy.
“Are you natives?” Frank asked.
“Of San Diego?” Carey said.
“Yeah, are you true-blue Southern Californians?”
Carey looked at Lexi and then answered, “Yeah, born at Scripps in La Jolla.”
“I could tell,” Frank said, taking the last bit of bar into his mouth.
“How’s that?” Carey asked, curious to hear the answer.
“You’re not stuck up and pretentious. So many transplants turned this great little city into a mini LA with all their flashing bullshit. The true SoCal person is laid back and nonjudgmental.”
“I live in San Fran now and—”
He interrupted Carey and said, “Don’t even bring up those fruits and nuts. Total dipshits up there, we real Californians should have cut those assholes loose long ago.”
“For someone who says locals don’t judge, you’re definitely full of it,” Lexi chimed in.
Frank tossed the wrapper on the ground and replied, “It’s not judging when you’re telling it like it is, that’s different. People in San Francisco are dipshits, that’s fact. It’s like me saying you’re a woman; that’s not a judgment, that’s a fact.”
“None of it really matters now,” Lexi said.
“It does, could you imagine trying to find people to survive with in San Fran?” Frank said.
“Stop picking on my new home. There are good people there,” Carey moaned.
As Frank and Carey went back and forth debating the topic, Lexi scanned the area. The sound of crashing waves sounded pleasant and the seagulls flew overhead. To the north she saw a couple of people in the far distance. As she started to turn her gaze to the south, she saw two more people just north, but these two were hiding behind a group of trees. She couldn’t make them out clearly but saw the movement then saw the people briefly.
“Let’s get moving again,” Lexi suggested.
“Good idea,” Frank said.
The walk through downtown Del Mar was shocking. In the matter of three days the storefronts of many businesses were smashed, and debris littered the sidewalks and congested streets. They encountered more people as they weaved in and around abandoned cars. They made sure to stay in the middle of the road, far away from the buildings. Now the sounds of gunshots and screams became normal. When they heard it, they would all make a mental note of the direction then keep moving.
Each person they saw acted nervous and in a heightened state of alert. These people were quick studies and, like Lexi, not taking any chances. Two small groups they walked past seemed threatening, but when they saw they were armed and Frank was there with a rifle slung, they kept walking past.
Seeing Del Mar ransacked was a sad sight for Lexi. She had spent many days and nights there and the place held many memories. Seeing it this way would be seared into her mind.
Each step they took south, Lexi could see the carnage and effect of the EMP was vast. If it had only been a local event, government forces would have come in, but their absence was telling.
“Frank, how bad do you think this is?” Lexi asked.
“Bad, end-of-world bad.”
Carey jumped in, “Will things ever be normal again?”
“I’m not an expert, but I would say our society is gone. I know that seems odd, but look at it this way. Once we crumble, there’s no building us back up quickly, and the longer we get from being civilized, the farther we fall. I think the government has been hobbled, I would guess they’re not out, but their effectiveness has been diminished greatly. If that’s true, then all they’re doing is protecting themselves and leaving us, the people, to fend for ourselves.”
“I told you, Carey, we’re screwed,” Lexi said.
“It saddens me, but at the same time I think we can eventually come out of this a better country,” Carey innocently replied.
Frank laughed and said, “There’s no more country to eventually come back to. It’s gone; we just haven’t decided to believe it yet.”
At the intersection of Carmel Valley Road and PCH, Frank stopped and took in another view. He walked to an overlook and paused. “It’s so beautiful.”
Lexi decided to join him as he took in the view of the beach and ocean.
“Can I ask you a personal question?” Lexi asked.
“Sure.”
“Have you ever thought of suicide?”
“Ha, isn’t that what this is?” he joked.
“It better not be.”
A steady cool breeze wisped over them.
Frank removed his hat and combed his thick fingers through his hair.
“How about we keep going and take a break down there?” Carey said, pointing towards the beach at Torrey Pines.
“What do you think?” Frank asked.
“Sure.”
They stepped away from the overlook and continued.
Lexi wasn’t satisfied with his previous answer, so she asked again, “I’m serious, ever thought about just ending it?”
“Why the question?”
“Because I think I’d off myself if I had a terminal disease.”
“You think that way because it’s theoretical for you,” Frank asserted.
“I’ve almost died twice in the past few days,” Lexi declared.
“I know, but it’s different, you think you might die is different than knowing you’re going to. There isn’t anything I can do; I will die soon, period. Knowing is different than a possibility.”
Lexi thought about it and could see his point.
“Isn’t it wonderful?” Frank asked, pointing towards the waves.
Putting herself in his shoes, she confirmed, “It is wonderful.”
When they reached the beach access, Frank stopped and took off his boots and socks.
Lexi cracked a slight smile.
He tied his laces together and swung the boots over his shoulder. Like a child he hopped onto the sand and dug his feet in. His face lit up as his toes wiggled. He turned towards the women and said, “How about we take a dip?”
“Nah, but you go knock yourself out,” Lexi said. She was still eager to get to the house but also felt obligated to allow him this indulgence.
Carey looked at Lexi for permission.
“Go ahead, I’ll keep an eye out,” Lexi said, nodding.
Carey tore her pack and vest off and laid them next to Lexi’s feet. She then pulled off her shoes quickly. Once barefoot she raced onto the beach towards the surf.
Frank was already in the water up to his calves. As each wave crashed in, he laughed out loud.
Lexi looked at the two splashing and playing. Their joy was contagious, and Lexi caught herself laughing after seeing Frank fall down in waist-deep water. She tore herself away from the scene and looked north and south. To the south she saw a couple of people stopped, they were sitting on a guardrail. She couldn’t make out who they were but wondered if they were the two people she had seen hiding earlier.
A loud squeal from Carey ripped her away from scanning the area. She watched Carey dive headfirst into a crashing wave. For an instant she disappeared only to pop up with seaweed wrapped around her shoulders.
“Yuck!” Carey hollered.
Lexi loved Torrey Pines beach, and being there brought her back to fond memories of hiking the trails at the park above the beach. One of the few memories she had of her father was going there. He’d park at the top near a trailhead. Together they’d walk down the mile-long trail to the beach below. They’d play in the water then picnic on the beach afterwards before heading back. Thinking of him made her sad and angry, angry because she felt God had jilted her. While her friends had their daddies, she was left longing for a father figure, a positive male influence who would love her and show her how a man should treat a woman. This resentment was still very present in her life, and until she could truly trust a man, she’d never believe another man could be as good.
Movement to the north caught her attention. She looked and saw three people, two men and a woman, suddenly appear on the road from beneath an overpass that spanned a wide creek from the wetlands to the east.
They looked normal and from her vantage point she couldn’t see any visible weapons.
Slowly they headed her way.
Lexi put her fingers in her mouth and whistled.
Frank heard the whistle first and turned to look.
Catching his gaze, Lexi pointed to the people heading their way.
He called out to Carey and informed her.
They both exited the water and walked towards Lexi.
The people were twenty feet away and closing at a slow walk’s pace.
Lexi then decided she was going to warn them by showing she was armed. She turned and placed her hand on the grip of her holstered pistol.
One man saw this and mumbled something to his two companions, who immediately looked up.
Frank stepped forward with his rifle slung over his sopping wet shirt and stood silent.
Carey walked next to Lexi and put on her vest.
The three people stopped, evaluated Lexi and the others and ran across the road to avoid walking past them.
Seeing this made Lexi happy. For the first time since the power went out, she felt powerful. She had no intention of ever hurting them, but she showed them she wasn’t going to be toyed with.
The three strangers nervously kept heading south, occasionally looking back towards Lexi and the others.
Filled with pride, Lexi said, “If you two are done playing around, how about we keep moving.”
“Sure thing,” Frank replied. He could feel the impact the long hike was having on him, but the brief swim in the ocean jolted him in a positive way. He swung his head and gazed south down the beach. “I’ve got an idea that will keep us away from traffic and people.”
“I’m all ears,” Lexi said.
“My ex’s house is in La Jolla Shores. Let’s just walk straight down the beach, the tide is out, so we should be fine.”
Lexi nodded and replied, “Good idea.”
La Jolla Shores, CA
The trio walked another four miles of coastline without incident. Conversations varied between things that didn’t matter anymore like movies and music. They kept it light, but reality came back when they cleared a rocky bluff that jetted out near the surf.
Like a massive piece of driftwood, a large container ship was sitting just off the beach. The ocean ignored its presence as each wave broke around the steel hull and came to shore.
“Holy shit!” Frank exclaimed.
“Looks like something out of an apocalyptic movie,” Carey said.
“The only thing is this isn’t a movie,” Lexi reminded them.
They all stood and stared at the ship, its crew long since gone, abandoning the vessel shortly after it drifted to shore.
“The good thing is we’re almost there, just beyond the ship is the Shores and her house,” Frank informed them.
Lexi looked up and took notice that the sun was headed northwest towards the horizon. “How far you think?”
“A mile or more,” Frank replied.
“Two miles?”
“No, not that far.”
They all looked past the ship and could see the mid-rise buildings that made up downtown La Jolla.
Walking the beach had been a great idea. They didn’t encounter one person and the tranquil setting had lulled them. Seeing the shipwreck made it all real again, and for Lexi it was all she needed to get her mind back on track.
“I forgot to ask, are we taking you back home after we get the car?” Lexi asked.
“Hell no, I’m going to squat at my ex’s house. They’re gone and I doubt will ever return.”
“Where are they?” Carey asked.
“Aspen.”
“Nice,” Carey said.
“Another place with stuck-up people is all it is; the snow’s not even that great. If you want great snow, great terrain and real skiers, you go to Alta.”
“What’s your hang-up about rich people?” Lexi asked.
“Besides many of them being entitled assholes, nothing,” Frank jested.
“There’s that judgment again,” Lexi joked.
They debated Frank’s harsh opinions about wealthy people as they grew closer to his ex-wife’s house.
Frank’s pace steadily became slower. A rough cough started, which only made him walk even slower.
Lexi looked at the horizon and watched the sun continue its slow descent.
Frank’s cough grew worse and forced him to stop. The coughing was so forceful that it caused him to take a knee.
Carey came to his side and knelt with him. She placed a soft hand on his back.
Frank took out a rag and put it to his mouth. When he pulled it away, there was a large amount of blood on it.
Lexi exhaled heavily. She was both frustrated and concerned. They were close to the house but couldn’t quite make the final steps as Frank knelt hacking.
“Can I do anything?” Carey asked him.
He only responded by shaking his head. The coughing increased in severity and at one point he gasped for air.
“Frank, how far are we from the house? The sooner we can get there, the better. You’ll be able to rest,” Lexi said.
He lifted a shaking arm and pointed.
“Where?” Lexi asked, looking down the beach. The houses were in sight but too far to make out.
He gulped for air and said, “Fourth house on beach.”
Lexi looked and counted. “Good, that’s not too far. Carey, help him up, let’s get him there.”
Carey replied, “Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure, get him on his feet,” Lexi ordered as she walked to the other side of Frank and reached for his arm.
Frank gasped and tried to stand, but his physical condition had deteriorated greatly.
Lexi wrapped his right arm over her shoulder.
Carey followed her lead and did the same thing with his left.
As they stepped off, Lexi looked at his face. Fresh blood clung to his lips with a small amount dripping down his chin.
“Frank, we’ll get you set up nice real soon.”
Frank took a gulp of air and said, “Franco.”
“Huh?”
“My name, my real name is Franco.”
“Okay, Franco.”
He chuckled.
Lexi gave him a confused look and thought that he was able to find something funny even during the painful coughing fit.
Lexi didn’t waste time getting him inside the house. With no keys to gain access, Lexi smashed a window off the garage and got in that way. She climbed in, and like a sign from God, the last rays of the day were shining through the broken window onto the Impala. It was there just as Frank said it would be. She was anxious to see if it ran but would first get Frank into a bed. She made her way through the house to the sliding glass door off the front deck where Carey and Frank were. She opened it and helped him inside and to the master bedroom.
His coughing fit had subsided, but the trip had taken all his strength, leaving him as limp as a rag doll.
They plopped him on the bed and took off his gear, pack and shoes.
“Just lie down, rest,” Lexi said softly.
He did as she said and fell into the thick pillows. The second he went horizontal, the coughing began again. He rolled onto his side and coughed up a large amount of blood. It streamed down the pillowcase and onto the mattress.
“Get a towel,” Lexi ordered Carey.
Carey raced off.
“Is this normal?” Lexi asked him.
He nodded.
“Will it stop?”
He nodded again then looked up at her. “Sorry.”
Seeing him suffer like this made her feel sorry for him. She reached out and rubbed his shoulder. “We’ll take care of you.”
Carey ran back into the room with a towel. She placed it under his chin.
Frank smiled as he spit some blood onto the towel’s monogram.
Lexi noticed this and asked, “You’re not a fan of your ex, are you?”
Frank shook his head and said, “Nope.”
“Can we get you some water?” Lexi asked.
“No, just rest,” Frank mumbled and closed his eyes.
Lexi and Carey exited the room, closing the door softly.
“Poor guy,” Carey said.
“Yeah, I feel bad for him.”
Carey walked down the long hallway and into a massive great room. She stood and looked around at the ornate decorations and extravagant furnishings. The room faced the beach and jutted out from the main part of the house. All three sides had tall glass sliding doors that opened onto a large wooden deck. She approached the furthest door that looked directly out onto the beach and stared at the sun on the horizon.
Lexi came up behind her and said, “Help me find some candles and flashlights.”
Carey kept staring at the sun, watching it slowly disappear into the vast ocean. She cradled her chest with her arms and gave herself a hug. “Why do you think this happened?”
Lexi was opening drawers and paused at the question.
“I just don’t know who would do such a thing,” Carey continued.
“If there was ever any doubt, I think the past few days have confirmed that evil exists.”
“I know that, but why do this, what’s the purpose?”
Lexi looked up and replied, “I’m sure whoever was behind this had their reasons, but deep down it’s simple.”
Carey turned and asked, “What’s that?”
“They just want to destroy, nothing more.”
After finding all the light sources they could, Carey started preparing food for dinner. Fortunately for them, Frank’s ex-wife kept a stocked pantry of canned and dried foods. In the garage they found a chest freezer, and by luck the food was still cool. Famished from the long hike, Carey pulled out a pre-marinated tri-tip and took it to the propane barbeque located off the side of the house.
While Carey was busy making dinner, Lexi went searching for the keys to the car. She thought they’d be easy to find. She looked in all the obvious places but still came up empty-handed. She was tempted to wake Frank up, but her guilt in doing so outweighed her urgency to see if the car ran. Armed with a flashlight, she again looked in the same places, opening the same drawers and cabinets, but still coming up with the same result. She slammed the last drawer she looked in and turned in frustration. “Where can you be?” The beam from her flashlight hit the car; she looked at its beautiful and flawless red paint, not a speck of dust or dirt. Regardless of what Frank thought, it was clear that his ex took good care of the car. “If I were a set of keys, where would I be?”
She stepped away from the built-in cabinets and walked over to the car. She shined her light into the driver’s window and looked in at the leather seats. She guided the beam across the dash until she reached the steering wheel, and there she saw something peculiar. Dangling below the column, she saw a rabbit’s foot. Her eyes lit up, as she knew it was a key chain. She grabbed the handle and prayed it was unlocked; with a click the door opened. “Yes!” She swung it open and sat on the hard seats. The sweet smell of lavender hit her nostrils followed by the smell of Armor All. Her hand found its way to the key chain and to the key sticking in the ignition. Her hands trembled. “Please start, please, please, please.” Like she did with her car, she closed her eyes and recited a prayer.
“Ahhh!” Carey screamed from the kitchen.
Lexi opened her eyes and leapt out of the car. However, she had the presence of mind to take the key with her. She stuffed it in the front pocket of her jeans and sprinted out of the garage.
“What are you doing here?” Carey yelled.
Lexi entered the kitchen to see Carey standing frozen next to the large kitchen island that separated that space from the great room. She faced the north-side sliding door and was looking at someone.
“Who is it?” Lexi asked.
Carey didn’t respond. She quickly walked to the door and unlocked it.
Fully in the room, Lexi yelled, “Carey, what are you doing?”
Carey again didn’t answer. She unlocked the door and swung it open. “What are you doing here? Oh my God, you scared me.”
Her questions signified she knew the person, but Lexi was still on edge. She walked over and was stopped when she saw who it was. “Jessie? What are you doing here?”
Jessie gave a crooked smile and sheepishly stepped over the threshold. She embraced Carey and said, “Sorry, I know it’s, um, kinda weird that I’m here.”
Carey returned her embrace and said, “It’s fine, it’s fine.” She could see that something was wrong with Jessie.
Lexi’s jaw dropped. There was no other way to explain Jessie being there except that she had followed them, but where did she hide, how did she stay out of sight? Unless…a thought came to Lexi. “You’re not alone, are you?”
Jessie was still wrapped in Carey’s arms. She lifted her head and said, “He’s a nice guy. You’ll like him.”
As if on cue, a young man stepped into the doorway from the shadows.
“Oscar!” Lexi barked. “No, there is no way in hell this guy is staying here!”
Carey looked up to see the man; she hadn’t met him but knew enough about him to feel like she did.
“Please, Lexi, please,” Jessie pleaded.
Oscar hunched his shoulders and made a gangsta-style hand gesture. “Oh, come on, girl. You know me. What happened before, hey, dat wasn’t on purpose. That was just some fucked-up shit, you know how it is.”
“No, I don’t. Now get the hell out,” Lexi ordered. She then realized she wasn’t armed. Her pistol was still in the holster of the vest and it was hung over a stool just ten feet away.
Oscar was short but very muscular. His thick arms and neck were covered in tattoos. His well-manicured goatee clung to his face like it was painted on. A thick scar below his left eye was just one physical reminder of his life behind bars. He was Hispanic and grew up in Chula Vista. His parents were field hands who had emigrated from Mexico. They came to fulfill a dream, but their oldest son, Oscar, destroyed those dreams of a stable and successful family when he became locked into the vicious life of a drug dealer and pusher. He had been to prison twice, and even with the three strikes law in California, he wasn’t deterred from a life of crime. With the legalization of medical marijuana in California, Oscar switched to pushing heroin. That had become Jessie’s drug of choice and he was her main supplier.
Lexi did not like Oscar and she had good reason. During a party at her house several months back, Oscar showed up with Jessie. Lexi didn’t think much of it, but after he thought he could push drugs at her party, she demanded he leave. Taking orders from women wasn’t something Oscar liked, so an altercation occurred. After much yelling, a few broken glasses and lots of machismo, Oscar left, but not before he fatally kicked Lexi’s dog Hercules, a French bulldog. Hercules was barking at Oscar and nipping at his heels. Oscar turned and kicked the dog in the throat, crushing its windpipe. Needless to say, Lexi never forgot and could never forgive.
“Absolutely not, you turn your ass around, both of you, and leave!”
Carey knew the story and joined Lexi in her refusal to allow Oscar to stay, but she did think it was okay for Jessie to remain. “What about Jessie, she can stay, right?”
Lexi shook her head and flatly said, “No.”
“Please, Lexi, don’t be like this!” Jessie screamed.
Oscar stepped into the house and looked around. He didn’t see Frank but knew he was there. “Where’s the old man?”
“None of your business, now get the fuck out!” Lexi hollered.
Seeing an opportunity and not one to think things through, Oscar made a move. He reached into the small of his back and pulled out a semiautomatic pistol. “Listen here, bitch. I will do what I want!” He stepped towards Lexi, quickly clearing the six feet that separated them, and put the muzzle of his pistol in her face.
Lexi raised her hands and grumbled, “Shit.”
“How ya like that, huh?” Oscar tormented.
“Don’t hurt them,” Jessie pleaded with Oscar.
Carey stood frozen to the spot. She was unsure if she should move for fear of her or Lexi being shot.
“Don’t hurt them, Oz,” Jessie again pleaded.
Oscar spun around and waved the pistol in Jessie’s face. “You shut up, you hear me, keep that pretty mouth of yours shut!”
Jessie looked down and cowered like a beaten puppy.
Lexi still stood with her hands up.
Oscar faced Lexi again and placed the muzzle of the pistol under her chin. “I should just blow your fucking face off, you little stuck-up whore. You think you’re better than me, don’t you? Huh, little lily-white princess think you’re better than Oz? You’re wrong, no one is better than the Oz!”
Lexi gave him a cold hard stare and asked, “What do you want?”
“I hear you got a car,” Oscar said.
Hearing that, Lexi knew Carey must have said something to Jessie.
“I can’t find the keys. I don’t even know if it works,” Lexi said.
“Bitch, I don’t need keys. I’ll hot-wire that motherfucker. Where is it?”
A wave of nausea came over Lexi followed by a sense of defeat. Once again she was so close, but like before her hopes of escape were being taken away.
“It’s in the garage, of course,” Oscar said.
He grabbed Lexi by the arm and shoved her towards the garage door, which was off the kitchen.
Lexi saw her vest; she was now inches from it. Why not go for it? If she was going to die, why not die trying to live? The thought came and went as she was pushed hard by Oscar.
Oscar looked at Lexi’s butt and said, “You know, I might have to take that before I go.”
Jessie and Carey stood watching.
Carey took a step, but Jessie grabbed her. Carey looked into Jessie’s bloodshot eyes and whispered, “I have to do something.”
Jessie pulled her close, gritted her teeth and warned, “Sorry.”
Carey felt something sharp jab her ribs. She looked down and saw Jessie had a knife pressed against her side. “What are you doing?”
“I’m sorry.”
“Jessie?”
“I have to do what I have to do,” Jessie confided.
Oscar shoved Lexi. The force from the push drove her to the floor. He bent over, grabbed her hair and pulled.
Lexi resisted and hollered out in pain.
Oscar pulled harder and ripped several strands of hair from her head.
Scared for her life but more importantly just pissed off, Lexi rolled onto her back and kicked Oscar in the left kneecap.
He wailed in pain and hopped backwards. “Fuck!”
Lexi scrambled towards her tactical vest, cleared the few feet and reached for the pistol, but Oscar had recovered from the kick to his knee.
He stepped over and again pulled her by her hair, this time taking a fistful of her blonde locks, and lifted Lexi to her feet. He forcibly pressed the pistol against her temple and screamed, “Fuck you, I’m going to kill you just like I killed your little bitch dog.” He pistol-whipped her then threw her back to the floor.
The blow to her head hurt. For an instant she wondered if she was going to pass out. She knew what Oscar meant and braced for the kick.
Carey began to cry as she watched the beating Oscar was giving her. She turned to Jessie and begged, “My sister, please.”
Oscar towered over Lexi, but before kicking her, he looked towards Carey and Jessie and declared arrogantly, “Jessie, you watch that bitch, okay? Don’t do nothin’ stupid.”
“I got her, Oz, no need to worry, baby,” Jessie said jubilantly, proud of her allegiance to him.
“I’m goin’ to spread that whore’s legs once I’m done with her bitch sister,” Oscar hollered.
Hearing this brought Lexi back to life. She lunged at Oscar, wrapping her arms around his waist, and tackled him to the floor.
The back of his head smacked against a large wooden sofa table. He grunted in pain but was fine.
Lexi lay on top of him and just punched.
Still gripping his pistol, he raised it high above them, ready to hammer it down on her head.
Carey and Jessie both looked on in horror.
A single gunshot cracked from the hallway.
Oscar’s expression changed from defiance to shock. He dropped the pistol and looked down at the bloody hole in his chest. He coughed and spit blood out of his mouth. His eyes rolled back into his head as he exhaled his last breath.
Jessie screamed in terror seeing Oscar die.
Frank steadied himself, but it had taken all of his energy to just make it as far as he had gone. He rested all of his weight against the wall and slid down.
Lexi jumped off Oscar and scurried away; she looked towards the hallway and saw Frank standing there, the pistol still extended in his grip.
Carey broke free of Jessie and ran to Lexi’s aid; she knelt down and cradled her head. “You okay?”
Lexi was angry and she couldn’t hide that some of that was directed at Carey. “I’m fine, no thanks to you.”
“I, ah, I didn’t know she’d bring him,” Carey said, defending herself.
Lexi shot her an angry look and asked, “You knew she was coming?”
“I didn’t know…exactly,” Carey mumbled.
“Exactly?” Lexi asked. Blood streamed from the cut on the side of her face. She touched it and looked. She rubbed it between her fingers and grunted, “Don’t you ever think?”
“I just mentioned it was all. I didn’t invite her,” Carey said again, defending herself.
Jessie sobbed as she walked over to Oscar’s body. She fell to her knees and wailed.
Lexi got to her feet and walked into the kitchen. She grabbed a towel and wiped the blood from her face. A slight sensation of vertigo hit her, but she braced against the counter just in case she fainted.
Full of regret, Carey remained kneeling on the floor.
Frank coughed and said, “The insulation is great in this house.”
Lexi cocked her head and asked, “What took you so long?”
“I was sleeping like a baby. I didn’t hear anything until I got up to go take a piss,” he said and took a labored breath.
“Ahh! No!” Jessie wailed, her body slumped over Oscar’s.
“Just shut the hell up!” Lexi snapped, mocking her.
“You killed him, you did!” Jessie yelled and grabbed Oscar’s pistol. She pointed it at Frank and pulled the trigger.
Frank was too slow to react. The bullet from Oscar’s pistol struck him in the gut.
Jessie stood and marched towards Frank, pulling the trigger two more times, both striking Frank, once more in the gut and another in his thigh.
Lexi sprinted from around the corner but stopped when she saw Carey holding her pistol.
Carey didn’t say a word; she squeezed the trigger of Lexi’s Glock. The 9mm round hit Jessie in the center of her back.
Jessie’s march was stopped; she turned and faced Carey. Her arms hung low, she looked down at the exit wound in her chest. The bullet went clean through her. “I can’t die, no, not like this.”
Carey got to her feet. Something had gotten into her; she leveled the pistol at Jessie and squeezed it one more time. This round struck Jessie in the forehead.
Jesse’s head snapped back. Her body dropped to the floor, dead.
Lexi couldn’t believe it; she had never once in her life seen her sister act aggressively towards anyone or anything. But something had shifted in Carey, nothing sinister but something that was clearly lethal.
Frank was alive but barely.
Lexi and Carey had tried to take him back to the bed, but he refused.
He knew his outcome before, but this time it wasn’t the cancer that was going to kill him. “To the beach, take me to the beach,” he softly said.
“Are you sure?” Lexi asked.
He nodded.
“Grab his legs,” Lexi ordered Carey.
They lifted, but his weight was too much for them.
“You’re too damn heavy,” Lexi exclaimed.
Frank’s head hung low and he said something unintelligible.
“I’m not sure how long I can carry him,” Carey complained.
“Just keep moving,” Lexi barked.
They slowly moved through the great room, only stopping briefly to open a large sliding door. With the same snail’s pace, they crossed the deck and down onto the beach.
“Where…where do you want us to place you?” Lexi asked.
Using what little strength he had, he lifted his head and pointed directly out in front of him.
The night sky was slightly illuminated by a full moon that was rising in the east. This helped them navigate across the beach towards the surf.
“It’s so much harder now,” Carey whined as each footfall melted into the sand.
“Almost there,” Lexi said, looking at a spot that was halfway in between the house and the water. “How’s this?” Lexi asked Frank.
“Good,” he replied.
They slowly lowered him down onto the cool sand and took seats to either side of him.
He coughed loudly and spit out a mouthful of blood.
Lexi suddenly felt sentimental about a man she had only just met. It seemed odd when she thought about it, but she couldn’t shake the feeling. She listened to his wheezing breath.
A chilled breeze cut through her, forming goose bumps on her arms.
Carey remained quiet and reflective too. She looked at the moon’s reflection as it danced on the shifting ocean. Her mind was filled with regret as she questioned her actions that directly caused the confrontation with Jessie and Oscar. Her intentions were always pure, but that didn’t matter if good intentions led to tragic things. She looked down at her hands, they were still trembling, and the reality of killing Jessie hadn’t quite sunk in. Her mind covered the details of her shooting Jessie and she found justification to do so, but that wasn’t her. She wasn’t the fighter her sister was, or was she? She had much to deliberate internally.
“Are you cold too?” Lexi whispered.
“Yeah,” Carey replied.
Frank was semiconscious and shifted ever so slightly when he heard Lexi talk.
Lexi touched Frank’s arm and found it cold. She wondered if it was because of the cool air or from a loss of blood.
“I’m going to run inside and get a blanket,” Lexi said. She stood up and quickly walked back to the house.
Inside, she found it as they had left it. Jessie’s and Oscar’s bodies were lying on the floor. What looked like gallons of blood spread from the kitchen to the great room. She paused and took in the scene before grabbing a thick faux fur throw that draped the back of the sectional. When she exited the house, she could hear Carey whimpering. Lexi raced across the sand and stopped just above Carey and Frank, who was now lying down on his back.
Carey looked up, tears streaming down her face, and said, “He’s dead.”
“Are you sure?” Lexi asked, kneeling down next to Frank and checking his pulse. She found nothing. She leaned over his face to see if she could feel his breath, but there too she felt nothing. The slow breathing she had heard earlier was absent.
“I don’t know why I’m crying, it’s not like I knew him or anything,” Carey said, wiping warm tears from her cool face.
Lexi couldn’t stay angry at her sister anymore. She touched her arm and said, “You’re crying because he was a good guy, a dad-like kinda guy, and you saw that. You saw the good in him, the human being in him. You’re a good person, Carey, much better than I am.”
“That’s not true, you’re amazing. You’re so strong, tough. I’m just a stupid girl who is too trusting,” Carey cried.
“We make a good team.”
“Should we bury him?” Carey asked.
Lexi looked down on Frank’s body. The full moon cast enough light to see his face. She took the throw and covered him. “It doesn’t feel right to bury him.”
“We can’t just leave him here.”
“I think putting him below the surface isn’t what he would want. He loved the beach and the ocean. I think he should still enjoy it. Let the ocean air stay on him,” Lexi said, explaining her reasons for not burying Frank.
Carey rubbed her eyes and said, “That seems reasonable.”
“You know, I’m sad too and I can’t explain why. Like you said, we knew him for such a short period of time, but somehow I felt like he was one of us. So strange,” Lexi said.
“It’s this place, it’s what’s happening. It’s changing us, making us more sensitive, I guess.”
“I think you’re right,” Lexi agreed.
“What are we going to do?” Carey asked.
That was the million-dollar question and it pulled Lexi away from the somber moment. So much had happened over the past few days and it was only going to get worse. Staying in the city and suburbs was not a viable plan even though they had a huge house that had a small cache of food and water. They needed to get on the road and head towards the ranch.
“Lexi, are you listening to me?”
“Yeah.”
“What are we going to do?”
Lexi stood up and looked towards the house then back to Carey. She dug into her pocket and pulled out the key to the Impala. She held it out, the rabbit’s foot dangling. “I’m going to see if that car runs.”
They tiptoed around the pooled blood on their way to the garage, stopping only to get their weapons and vests. They were not going to be caught unprepared this time.
Carey lit the garage with a flashlight while Lexi made her way to the car. She got behind the wheel and paused.
Lexi’s hand began to nervously shake when she pulled the key out of her pocket. Her heart raced, thinking about how much this one thing working out for them mattered. It had been almost three days since her world ended, and in that small amount of time she had witnessed violence, murder and chaos. Nothing seemed to be going perfectly and she needed this one thing to work.
“I hope Frank was right,” Carey said, standing outside the car. She held the flashlight steady and directed the beam on the steering wheel.
Like before, Lexi pressed her eyes closed tightly and said a prayer. Without opening them, she put the key in the ignition and turned it quickly.
The car roared to life with a guttural exhaust sound.
“YES!” Carey screamed.
Not realizing she had been holding her breath, she exhaled heavily, opened her eyes and relaxed into the seat.
Carey jumped up and down.
Lexi pushed the accelerator.
The engine roared. The twin tailpipes thumped loudly.
A broad smile stretched across Lexi’s face. She looked at her sister dancing and bouncing around the car. For the first time it seemed like something worked for them, but the cost was high. She knew this small victory would be trumped by something horrible, but pushed that thought out of her mind. She gave herself permission to be happy.
Carey reached in the car and gave Lexi a hug. “I’m so excited.”
“I am too,” Lexi replied.
“So we leave now?” Carey asked.
A fatigue like nothing she had felt before was weighing Lexi down. She needed to rest. “Yeah, we can leave, but I think we need to get some sleep.”
“Sleep and then we go check on Mom?” Carey asked.
Too tired to argue, Lexi said, “Sleep and then we’ll check on Mom.”
Carey gave her a hug and kissed Lexi’s cheek.
With one victory under their belt, they huddled in a spare bedroom. Neither one had the energy to stay awake to watch out for intruders. They barricaded themselves in the bedroom by locking it and pushing a large dresser in front of the door, but not before Lexi ensured their vehicle wouldn’t be taken. She removed the battery and took it into the room with them.
Armed and barricaded, they lay down on the down-covered bed.
Carey fell asleep quickly, her head resting against Lexi’s shoulder.
Lexi liked this and it brought her back to her childhood when Carey would sneak into her bedroom and sleep with her. She’d nuzzle up to Lexi and fall instantly to sleep. Because their mother was absent most of the time, Lexi found herself being more a mother than a sister.
Lexi thought about what had happened over the past few days. It was hard to believe any of it was real. Just a week ago she and Carey were out partying and didn’t have a care in the world except where they’d find food at three in the morning. Now fast-forward a week and they were struggling to survive. It was amazing they were sane and coherent.
Carey’s breathing increased in tempo.
Lexi could tell she was having a dream and hoped it was a pleasant one but doubted it. How could anyone ever dream sweetly again? The world they knew was gone; there was no doubt of that. In fact, Lexi couldn’t think of any positive guarantees left available to them. Each second could bring something or someone horrible. Death seemed like it hid around every corner. How was she going to keep them alive? How would she make sure they got to the ranch in Nevada? So many questions and no answers.
Carey kicked her legs several times.
Lexi squeezed Carey, kissed her on the top of her head and whispered, “Sssh, it’ll be all right.” But that was a lie and Lexi knew it. It was not going to be okay, but those words instinctually came out of her mouth.
Carey moaned quietly and flexed her arms.
Lexi brought her in tighter, rubbed her back and hummed a lullaby until she fell asleep.
DECEMBER 8, 2014
“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not: nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.” – Calvin Coolidge
La Jolla Shores, CA
Lexi woke suddenly. Her eyes opened and pupils adjusted to the bright light that engulfed the room. She sat up and first noticed that Carey wasn’t there. She looked to the door and saw the dresser shoved a foot away from the door. Alarmed, she jumped out of bed, grabbed her Glock and headed out the door, squeezing out the narrow gap into the hallway.
“Carey?” Lexi called out.
“Here,” Carey hollered from the back deck that overlooked the beach.
Lexi headed towards her, only stopping to see the bodies of Jessie and Oscar were now covered by blankets. She exited the cool house and walked into the warmth of the late morning sun. “What are you doing?”
Carey sat on the stairs facing towards the ocean. She didn’t turn to address Lexi. “Just thinking.”
Lexi looked left and right down the beach. Out in front of them, in the middle of the beach, she saw Frank’s body was still there. She took a seat next to Carey and asked, “What’s going on? You know it’s risky to be sitting out here by yourself.”
Carey wiped a few tears from her face.
Lexi noticed this and saw Carey’s eyes were swollen from crying. “You okay?”
“No, I’m not.”
“Is it about last night?” Lexi asked.
“No…” she cried.
Lexi rubbed her back and asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”
“How can you talk about this?” Carey said, holding out her arms in reference to the world around them.
“I know it’s hard,” Lexi said.
“Do you? Have you ever killed anyone?” Carey said and glared at her.
“Um, no, but I think I can understand.”
Carey wiped her tears again and said, “It’s not about last night, really. I want to know why.”
“Why what?”
“Why would anyone do this? What’s the purpose?”
“Like I said…”
Carey interrupted Lexi and said, “I get what you said before, people are evil and just want to destroy, but why?”
“I think we’ll never know why, and even if they said why, that wouldn’t be the real answer,” Lexi explained.
“Then what’s the real answer?”
“Some people are just sick and twisted and will do horrible things. They might find justification in religion or politics, but the reality is they just like to hurt.”
“What makes me different? Huh? I murdered Jessie last night.”
“Whoa, whoa, hold on there. You didn’t murder her, you killed her.”
Carey exclaimed, “What’s the difference? She’s dead!”
“There is a difference. Her intent was to kill and you stopped her. You saved lives.”
“It’s all so…” Carey paused and looked towards the ocean.
Lexi stopped from making another comment and decided to let Carey finish her thought.
Minutes passed before Carey continued, “I just need some time to digest what happened last night.”
“That makes sense,” Lexi interjected.
“Can you please stop talking over me?” Carey snapped.
Lexi nodded.
Carey wiped more tears and ran her fingers through her dark hair, which showed signs of neglect. “I’m confused. If someone were to ask me last week if I’d shoot someone, I’d tell them no, but something came over me. And the thing that hurts more than anything else is…” Again she paused to collect her thoughts. “Is that I want to regret it, my logical self says to regret what I did, but I don’t and that troubles me. Society tells us that anytime we kill someone we should be filled with self-loathing and to hate ourselves, but I don’t. Is something wrong with me? Am I not a good person? I thought I was a good person all my life. I’d give to the poor, I voted on every stupid ballot issue that helped anyone who needed it. I’m even against capital punishment, and now I find myself a killer, but deep down I don’t regret what I did.”
Lexi was shocked by her confession.
“You see, I think my programmed brain keeps telling me I’m a murderer, a killer, but this other part of me says what I did was right and that…”
Lexi waited but more time elapsed, so she asked, “And that?”
“I could do it again easily. I feel that I just didn’t kill Jessie last night, I killed the old Carey. She died last night when I pulled that trigger, and I’m sitting here mourning her loss but also realizing that this new Carey will keep me and you alive.”
“Don’t change too much, I love the old Carey too,” Lexi mused.
“The best parts of me are still here. I’m just new and improved.”
“Try not to get too jaded, that’s my job, remember?” Lexi joked.
“I’m not jaded, I’m just able to see for the first time.”
“And what do you see?”
“No one is ever going to hurt you or me. No more wallflower Carey, no more clueless and stupid Carey. If we’re going to make it, I have to fight back.”
Lexi let everything Carey said sink in. In some ways she was happy to know Carey would be more diligent and careful in her actions, but she just hoped the tenderness that Carey had wouldn’t have to go away.
They sat in silence for a few moments watching the waves crash along the shore.
“Can I confess something?” Lexi asked.
“Sure.”
“I know you don’t think I can relate, but what you just said, I can for sure and I don’t mean exactly the same, but losing who you thought you were and becoming someone new. That happened to me when I beat Adam to a bloody pulp. I just snapped. I wasn’t going to be touched like that again…”
“Again? What does that mean?” Carey asked, picking up on that.
“No, no, wait, I didn’t mean—”
“Were you attacked before?”
Lexi turned red and her face became emotionless. She stared off towards the ocean beyond.
“Lexi, tell me. I won’t judge you. You’re all I have and I’m all you have, we’re it in this fucked-up world. So if something happened to you before, it’s okay to share that, I’m a safe place,” Carey said and put her arm around Lexi’s shoulder.
Conflicting voices tore at each other in Lexi’s head. She had held a secret so dark and horrible that telling it could bring back those emotions at a time she didn’t need them to be front and center.
As she rubbed Lexi’s tight shoulders, Carey softly said, “Listen, it’s fine if you don’t want to say anything.”
Lexi opened her mouth to speak, but not a word came out as she held back.
Carey saw this. She removed her arm from around Lexi’s shoulders and took her hand, which trembled.
“It started when I was seven, just after you were born,” Lexi quietly said, her lower lip quivering.
Lexi didn’t have to say another word; she knew exactly what had happened.
“At first I thought about telling Mom, but he threatened me. However, I saw you and saw that you could be next. I made up my mind to tell her, but when he was getting off me, I saw her,” Lexi said and stopped. She looked at Carey, tears forming in her eyes. “I saw her standing in the doorway, she had seen him, she had seen what he had done to me. At first I thought she would come and save me, but she never did. She greeted him at the doorway.”
“Are you telling me Mom knew Donovan was raping you?”
“Yes.”
“I can’t, I, um, can’t believe that.”
“I’m not lying, Carey!”
“No, please don’t mistake what I just said. I just can’t imagine anyone would let that happen to a child.”
“Well, that bitch whore we call a mother would and did. She argued with him, but as soon as he said he would leave her, she relented. She cared more about the status he brought her than about her own children.”
Carey shook her head in disbelief at the story she had just heard.
Tears now streamed down Lexi’s face. She wiped them away and joked, “Now I’m crying, aren’t we a pair?”
Carey scooted close and pulled Lexi in. “Now I know why you hate her so much.”
“Now you know.”
“How long?”
“Until I was twelve.”
“Oh my God, why not go tell someone else, anyone else, a teacher, someone?”
“I was going to, but he threatened to hurt you. So I made him a deal, you could say, he could do what he wanted as long as he left you alone,” Lexi confessed.
Tears renewed on Carey’s face as the hard truth came.
“You let him…you protected me?”
“You’re my baby sis, of course I did.”
Carey wrapped both her arms around Lexi and sobbed. “I’m so sorry you had to do that. I’m so sorry that happened to you.”
Lexi returned the embrace and also cried heavily.
The two sat for almost an hour. Not another word was said about Lexi’s ordeal as a child, and no other word needed to be.
Carey lifted Lexi’s head by her chin and said, “It’s my turn to protect you.”
Sniffling, Lexi replied, “Deal.”
“How about we get the hell out of here?” Carey insisted.
Lexi nodded.
They both stood and turned towards the house.
“Um, change of plans today,” Carey said.
“What’s that?”
“We’re skipping Mom’s, fuck her.”
“Deal.”
They spent the next two hours packing the car with everything they thought they could use or need. All the pantry food and water found its way into the car as did a small treasure trove of camping gear they found in a storage locker in the garage.
When Lexi pulled the car out of the garage, a hopeful feeling swept over her. She looked at Carey and grinned. The past few days had been tough, even traumatic, but out of all of it, they had grown closer than they ever had been before.
“You ready for a long road trip?” Lexi asked.
“Yeah, let’s do this,” Carey answered. She sat in the passenger seat, wearing her tactical vest and holding Frank’s AR-15 rifle.
Lexi sped off down the street, heading towards the highway.
They chatted casually and remarked about the huge numbers of disabled cars and wandering people they passed.
When they left the city limits, Carey said, “Goodbye, San Diego.”
“And good riddance,” Lexi said.
“You suppose we’ll find Vegas untouched?” Carey asked.
“Anything is possible, but I think Frank was right. This thing is big, it took out a lot, so much that no one is coming to help.”
“Maybe they’re trying, but they haven’t gotten out here to help,” Carey wondered.
“Who knows, let’s just pray the ranch is fine.”
“What if Mom ends up out there?” Carey asked.
“I doubt it. I suspect we won’t see her again,” Lexi replied.
Carey shook her head and continued to stare at the rolling hills that surrounded the route they were taking.
The drive along Interstate 15 was nothing but an endless sea of dead cars and meandering groups of people. When the rumble of their engine echoed, their heads would turn and look. Some would run for cover, some would stare, while others would hail them, begging for help.
A person she hadn’t thought of in days popped up in Carey’s head. “What do you think happened to Liz?”
“Who knows.”
“Think she ever changed her mind?” Carey asked, referencing Liz’s hardcore beliefs that the government would come to help and that Lexi was making the situation more than what it really was.
“For her sake, I hope so. To be honest, I can see why it’s hard for people to grapple with what’s happening. It’s a huge slap in the face to be confronted with what’s going on. So many people have deep-seated belief systems that took a lifetime to instill; you can’t change on a dime.”
Carey chuckled. “Thank goodness you’re a skeptic. You never did trust the system.”
“That’s in both of us. If Mom did anything right, she pumped us full of healthy skepticism towards authority whether that be government, corporations or men.”
“Yeah, she did do that,” Carey said as she thought about several specific incidents. “I think what you said was almost a direct quote.”
“Come to think, it just about was,” Lexi confirmed then continued with a higher-pitched voice that was similar to their mother’s. “Girls, never, ever, ever trust politicians, government bureaucrats, greedy CEOs and most importantly don’t trust men, period.”
“Ha, that’s her. Oh God, that’s so funny. I guess Liz didn’t have our mother’s wisdom.” Carey laughed.
“I guess not.”
They fell silent and reminisced. Whether they disliked their mother or not, they couldn’t deny that she had been a huge influence on their lives.
Interstate 15, 40 Miles East of Barstow
“Barstow looked exactly the same,” Lexi quipped.
“You think so?” Carey sincerely asked.
“It was a shithole before, it’s still a shithole,” Lexi said.
Both women laughed.
The car jerked and sputtered.
Jarred from the movement and preparing for more, Lexi gripped the steering wheel tight.
Again the car sputtered.
“What’s wrong with the car?” Carey asked, looking towards Lexi for an answer.
“Must be the engine.”
“Kinda feels like we’re running out of gas,” Carey said, recalling the feeling.
“Can’t be, the tank is…” Lexi said and paused as she looked at the gauge and saw it read FULL. “Shit!” Lexi barked and smacked the dash hard with her right hand.
The force from her slap provided the answer she was looking for. The fuel gauge needle was stuck and settled to EMPTY after her hit.
Carey leaned over and saw the fuel gauge; her eyes grew as wide as saucers. “Oh, come on!”
“We’re empty; the fucking car is out of gas!” Lexi hollered as she smacked the steering wheel with her open palms.
The car shuddered.
“Did we bring any extra gas?” Carey asked.
“You know the answer to that, of course not,” Lexi barked.
“A car, look for an abandoned car!” Carey exclaimed, pointing out the window.
“I saw a car a mile back. I’ll make a U-turn and head back,” Lexi said and turn the wheel hard to the left.
The car shook and sputtered; then the engine stopped.
“No, no, no!” Lexi screamed in frustration. She tried to restart the car, but it didn’t work.
Carey hung her head low and lamented, “Can’t we catch a fucking break!”
Determined that this wouldn’t be their fate, Lexi sprang into action; she leapt out of the car and opened the trunk. “Carey, help me empty these,” she said, handing Carey two one-gallon jugs of purified water.
“I feel bad dumping perfectly good water.”
“Do it!” Lexi exclaimed and took a long drink of water from the jug she had. She then began to tear through the trunk, looking for a hose to do the siphoning with.
A truck horn blared in the distance.
“Where did that come from?” Lexi asked.
They both spun around and saw the glimmering windshield of a pickup truck clearing the rise on the highway east of them.
“Maybe they can help,” Carey said.
“Or maybe not,” Lexi replied, pulling out the pistol from her holster.
“A bit subtle, are we?” Carey asked.
“It’s a subtle world we live in now.”
Carey reached into the car and grabbed the rifle. She looked down at the selector switch and clicked it off SAFE.
The truck slowed and came to a full stop twenty feet from them. Two men stepped out of the cab and waved. Both men were tall and sported long hair pulled back into thick ponytails and their faces were covered in thick beards.
“You need help?” the driver asked.
“Just stay where you are,” Lexi warned, gripping her pistol tightly.
“We don’t mean you harm. We bring God’s grace and possibly God’s help with your car,” the driver said.
Both men had stopped their movement towards the women.
“Maybe we can help, but if you don’t need us, we’ll leave you in peace,” the driver said.
Carey leaned over and whispered, “Ask them if they have gas.”
“I don’t trust them.”
“Me either, but what if we ask them to place the gas on the ground and step away.”
Lexi chewed on her lip as she thought.
The two men exchanged some comments but were too far away to understand.
“Do you have spare gas?” Lexi called out.
The driver smiled and said, “Yes, yes, we do.”
“If you mean what you say, just leave the gas can on the ground and step away,” Lexi demanded.
He smiled and laughed. “Oh no, we don’t have a gas can, but I have a hose. We can siphon it out of our truck for you.”
Carey looked at Lexi with a concerned look. “A hose, we need that.”
“Never mind,” Lexi shot back.
The man raised his hands and said, “Your decision, I wish you luck and may God bless you and keep you.” He and his colleague turned around and walked back to their truck.
“Lexi, how are we going to siphon gas without a hose?” Carey asked.
“I don’t know yet. Let me think.”
The truck roared to life and began to slowly move towards them.
“Lexi, we can’t let them leave if they have gas; we need it!” Carey exclaimed.
Mistrust of everyone filled Lexi’s mind. She couldn’t trust these two, but what if they were honest God-fearing people only here to help?
The truck moved past them, giving Lexi a better look at the men.
They waved and smiled as they slowly drove by.
“Stop!” Lexi cried.
The truck came to a full stop.
Lexi ran over, stopping a few feet from the door. “Please, if you mean well, just leave us your hose, we need it.”
“We can just give you some of our gas and be on our way,” the driver again suggested.
“You’re not getting it, we don’t trust you. It’s not personal, we don’t trust anyone,” Lexi informed him.
The man smiled. “The world has made you skeptical and cautious, smart, but if you’re going to make it in this new environment, you’ll need to be able to distinguish good from bad, and I can assure you, we’re on the side of God and righteousness.”
Lexi ignored his advice and again asked for the hose. “Can you spare the hose or not?”
The passenger looked at the driver and nodded.
“Yes, go ahead, look in the truck bed,” the driver said.
Lexi walked over and looked into the rusty and dented bed of the old GMC pickup. There she saw the six-foot slender tube; she grabbed it and stepped away. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. God be with you,” the driver said, made a U-turn and drove off.
Lexi watched as they zoomed off into the distance and over the rise they had come from.
“Sorry, sis, I just didn’t trust those guys, but my skills of negotiating are still there,” Lexi said, holding up the hose.
“Maybe they were good guys,” Carey said.
“Don’t bet your life on it, and these days you would be,” Lexi quipped. “Come on, we have a hike to get the gas.”
“I’ll stay here,” Carey said.
“Absolutely not, we stick together.”
“I’ll be fine, leave me the rifle. I can take care of myself.”
“Are you kidding me? No joking, let’s go…together,” Lexi insisted.
“We can’t leave our car here. What if someone comes and steals it?” Carey argued.
“With what, a tow truck? The car is dead. Plus I’d rather have the car get stolen instead of you getting hurt or, worse, killed, so come on, let’s go,” Lexi said and waved her over.
“I’m exhausted and I’ll just rest. Don’t worry, no one will get close. If they try, I’ll shoot them between the eyes,” Carey joked.
“Please, Carey, don’t make me drag you.”
“I’ll be fine, go, hurry. I’ll be right here safe and sound, me and my new friend,” Carey said, holding up the rifle.
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No.”
“Yes, and go before it gets too late,” Carey said, walking back to the car.
“You’re a damn fool!” Lexi fumed. “You act tough one time and now you think you can conquer the world!”
“La, la, la, I’m not listening to angry Lexi.” Carey chuckled as she leaned against the car.
“Idiot!” Lexi barked and stormed off with the hose and three plastic jugs. The hard soles of her boots crunched bits of gravel as she marched west. She stopped and paused when she heard the heavy door of the car slam shut. She spun around and saw Carey sitting on the hood. The air was still and not a sound filled the space until she heard Carey. She was humming a song, she couldn’t quite make out what the song was, but it was a happy tune by the way she saw her responding to it. Pressed for time, Lexi turned back around and walked a few more steps, but something told her to stop. Following her instincts, she did and looked back again. A thought entered her mind that this might be the last time she’d see Carey. It wasn’t a paranoid thought, but one born out of her current reality. She took a step back in Carey’s direction but stopped. If she went back, she’d just waste more time arguing with her. They needed the fuel and needed to keep moving. Carey was armed, and unless a small army came, she would more than likely be safe. “She’ll be fine. Just hurry back,” Lexi said out loud.
Lexi took one more look at Carey, her legs swinging and feet tapping the song she was humming. Like a camera she stored the image in her mind before turning back and heading west.