She blinked, stunned by his words and the sincere way he’d said them. “You think I’m attractive?”
He smiled and she immediately regretted her impulsive remark. Leave it to her to jump on the one comment he’d thrown out, which probably didn’t mean anything, anyway.
“Do you doubt it?”
Of course she doubted her appeal. She hadn’t kept her husband’s interest. She didn’t exactly have men tripping over one another to ask her out. “I…I don’t know. It’s not something I dwell on.”
“Really? Why not?”
She frowned. “Well, because I’m not that kind of person.”
“What kind?”
“One who worries about how she looks all the time!”
“That’s not what I said. I told you I think you’re attractive, not that you’re self-absorbed or vain.”
She frowned again. “What’s the difference?”
“Not all attractive women spend their time thinking about how attractive they are. They just know.”
“I don’t understand, I suppose, the nuances of self-possession.”
“Can’t you just believe me? I’m a pretty good judge of women, and believe me, you’re attractive.”
“I’m older than you are,” she blurted it, then felt like slapping her hand over her mouth. Why in the world had she said that?
Luke chuckled. “That doesn’t have a thing to do with how attractive you are. Or how desirable I find you.”
“You find me desirable?”
He chuckled again. “Now I have to convince you of that, too?”
She shook her head. “No, I’m sorry. Forget it.”
“I wish I could,” he said softly, lowering his head. “Believe me, life would be a lot simpler if I could.”
And then he kissed her.…
LUKE KNEW HE WAS IN way over his head the moment his lips touched Kate’s. She was a good girl, the kind he’d never dated, never really desired. And yet he couldn’t resist the pull of her unconscious appeal. She didn’t know she was beautiful, but he did.
At the last minute he stopped himself from kissing her as deeply, as intimately, as he’d like. He gentled her with his lips, coaxing a sigh and a slight melting after her initial surprise. She felt warm and soft and willing as her arms crept around his neck, and he held her without any pressure. He wanted to pull her tight against him and prove how much she affected him, but he didn’t need to shock her more than he had already by kissing her.
He shouldn’t be doing this. She wasn’t his type. But she’d been so insecure about her desirability. What man wouldn’t find her attractive?
Without giving in to the urge to use his hands and tongue and whatever other part of his anatomy he could use to bring them both pleasure, he eased away from the kiss, nibbling a little here and there until he pulled back enough to see her flushed face, dewy lips and delicate eyelids. Slowly, she opened her eyes and gazed at him.
She didn’t speak. He didn’t know what to say, so he simply looked at her, knowing he’d remember the sight of Kate, flushed and dreamy, for a long, long time.
“Mommy! The donkey is fussing!”
Luke stepped back, keeping a hand on Kate’s arm as she wobbled and then found her balance.
“What?” she asked shakily.
“He’s making a big noise like he’s mad.” Eddie grabbed Kate’s hand, then Luke’s, and tugged them both toward the door. “Come look.”
Sure enough, Gordon was standing at the fence, braying across the driveway at the newest arrival at Last Chance Ranch, a bay mustang mare. “She must be in season.”
“What’s that?” Eddie asked.
“Uh…” Luke hadn’t thought about what he’d said. He should have. He looked to Kate for guidance.
Kate smoothed her hair back behind her ears in fluttery, nervous movements, but her voice was steady when she explained, “That means the pretty little horse is looking for a daddy horse.”
Good answer, Luke thought, relieved he didn’t have to come up with an explanation censored for a six-year-old.
“Do you have a daddy horse?” Eddie asked, looking up with wonder in his eyes.
“No, all my horses are either girls or they’re boy horses who can’t be daddies.”
“Why?”
Luke felt a little like squirming under Eddie’s scrutiny. “Because the vet fixed them so they would be good horses who didn’t ever want to be daddies and wouldn’t bother the girl horses.”
“Oh,” Eddie said, looking quizzically around the ranch. “But—”
“Tell us about the new mare,” Kate interrupted, putting her hands on Eddie’s shoulders and looking at Luke. “Where did you get her?”
Once again, Kate had saved the day. “She was adopted from one of the mustang roundups the government has periodically, but didn’t work out with her owners. They didn’t know what to do, since they couldn’t really sell her to another family when she wasn’t a riding horse. They’d thought about the rendering plant in Fort Worth.”
“Yes, but still pretty wild.” Luke hunkered down so he was eye level with Eddie. “She can’t be ridden, Eddie, just like the zebras. I’m not sure how wild she is, so don’t ever go near her pasture. She could really hurt you.”
“Okay. I promise.” He looked around again. “When are you going to get horses that people can ride?”
Luke stood up and ruffled Eddie’s hair. “That’s a good question. I’m going to get some riding horses soon.” He had one in mind, a stunt horse named Jack that Luke had worked with about six months ago. If Jack’s owner would part with him, he’d have him shipped to Texas. He’d need a horse for Brittany, though, and maybe he should get a couple of ponies for her friends.
His ranch was starting to grow by leaps and bounds, and not exactly in the direction he’d intended. He’d wanted to provide a home for neglected or abused animals, not a ranch of riding horses and pets. However, if his daughter liked horses—and he couldn’t imagine why she wouldn’t—he’d get whatever would make her happy.
“Eddie, we need to go home,” Kate said.
“Thanks for coming by and bringing me the texts.”
“Thanks for the tour.” Kate said, taking Eddie’s hand. “And I suppose I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”
“I’m looking forward to it.”
She looked away, obviously uncomfortable, reading more into his comment than he meant. “I mean, I’m anxious to get started on changing the house and changing me.”
“How are you changing?” Eddie asked.
“I need to get everything ready for Brittany.”
“Because you’re her daddy?”
“That’s right.”
Eddie frowned. “Do you want to be a daddy?”
“Yes, I do.”
“You didn’t get fixed like the horses so you don’t like girls, did you?”
“Eddie! That’s not something you should ask!”
Luke laughed. He was far, far from being “fixed.” “No, I didn’t.”
Kate shook her head and started walking toward her compact sedan. “I’m sorry, Luke.”
“No problem.”
She opened the passenger door and put her tote bag inside, then went to the rear door to get Eddie in the car. Before he scooted into the booster seat, he grabbed Luke’s hand and tugged.
“I think my daddy got fixed so he didn’t want to be a daddy anymore,” the little boy said softly. “Maybe that’s why he went away.”
Luke froze, not sure what to say, if anything. He looked at Kate for guidance, but she appeared as stunned as he felt. What could anyone say to a child who was so obviously hurting?
“Eddie, let’s talk about this at home,” Kate said, her voice shaking.
“But Luke’s our friend, and he’s a daddy now.”
Luke didn’t really understand Eddie’s logic, but he seemed to need to reach out to someone other than his mother to make sense out of his father’s desertion.
“Yes, but he didn’t know your father, so we’d better talk about him ourselves, okay?”
Eddie looked up plaintively, as if he wanted to argue with his mother but knew he shouldn’t. Maybe deep down inside, he knew there were no answers.
Lord knew, Luke could understand how Eddie felt. When Ronald Lucas Simon failed to acknowledge him, Luke had been confused and angry. He’d wanted a father just like everyone else. He’d never understood why it was so easy for some men to walk away from their responsibilities. His heart went out to Eddie. He had to be hurting even more than Luke because Eddie had a father for nearly six years before the jerk left him and Kate.
“Eddie,” he said as Kate buckled him in, “maybe someday soon, when I get some riding horses, you can come over and I’ll give you a lesson, if that’s okay with your mother.”
“I can ride my uncle Travis’s horses.”
“That makes you almost a real cowboy, doesn’t it?”
“Yep!”
“Thank you, and I’m sorry for the questions,” Kate said, closing the rear door.
“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.” Luke put his hands in his pockets and stepped back, giving her room. He glanced one more time at Eddie, realizing the little boy had a lot in common with him. Both had been abandoned by their fathers. Eddie was still learning to cope, whereas Luke…well, he’d learned long ago to get angry, not sad, when he felt unwanted.
“And it would be best if we keep our relationship professional,” she said, walking around the car.
Ah, the kiss. “You’re probably right, but I’m not sorry for what happened in there.”
She took a deep, uneven breath. “It won’t happen again, though,” she said, slipping into the driver’s seat.
Luke didn’t say anything as she put her key into the ignition and turned over the engine. She looked at him for a moment as if demanding his agreement, but he didn’t say anything even then. She put the car into gear and drove away, glancing back every so often in the rearview mirror.
Luke placed his hands on his hips and watched her go. She would be back tomorrow, and he wouldn’t kiss her again, because getting Kate’s help was more important than pursuing a doomed relationship.
But he wanted to kiss her again. That, and so much more.
AS EDDIE TOOK a nap, Kate tried to calm her nerves with a cup of chamomile tea and a long talk with herself about keeping her life simple. Responding to Luke’s kiss had been insanity, pure and simple. If she could have done something any more stupid, any more guaranteed to mess up their relationship, she wasn’t sure what it could be.
He shouldn’t have kissed her in the first place, though. If he was concerned about keeping their relationship professional, he wouldn’t have confessed that he found her attractive. Desirable, even. And he definitely wouldn’t have stepped close enough for her to see deep into his dark eyes and recognize the loneliness they shared. He wouldn’t have revealed his own vulnerability while exposing hers.
But he’d done all that and more, and like Pandora, she wasn’t sure how to stuff everything back into the box.
Or even if she wanted to…
She had to, she thought as she jumped up and paced the living room. Luke was paying her well for two weeks’ worth of work. Not pleasure. Above all, she had to keep that in mind.
She placed her tepid cup of ineffective tea on the kitchen counter. She and Eddie were due at Travis and Jodie’s for dinner in about half an hour. She wasn’t looking forward to another grilling by her brother, especially when she had something to feel guilty about now. That kiss. These feelings.
She didn’t need this complication, and she was half-angry at Luke for putting her in this situation. The other half of the anger was directed right at herself for not pushing him away, or even saying one word to stop him. She’d even encouraged him, not that he’d taken advantage of her lapse in judgment.
She stopped abruptly just outside the kitchen. Why hadn’t he taken advantage of her? Why hadn’t he deepened the kiss? Because Eddie was just outside the door, or was there another reason? Maybe he hadn’t been that interested in her. Maybe he was just trying to be nice, in a strange sort of way.
Maybe he felt sorry for her.
“No,” she whispered out loud. Her insecurities were showing, making her think such nonsense. Luke didn’t have another agenda, he wasn’t plotting some grand scheme and he had more important issues to worry about than boosting the ego of a divorced mother.
That’s what she had to tell herself whenever she started slipping into such crazy thoughts, she reminded herself. She was there to help him get ready for Brittany. Kate knew she wasn’t a love interest to Luke Simon; she wasn’t a sexual object to any man. She was a divorced mother, a substitute teacher, a sister and a friend.
That’s all, for now. Maybe later, when her life was settled, when she and Eddie had a home of their own and felt more integrated into the community of Ranger Springs. When she felt more secure, with a contracted job as a teacher. Then she could think about dating again. Not that she’d date Luke. He was too much of everything for her. Too sexy. Too intense. Too…male.
She paused at the doorway to Eddie’s small bedroom. He was sprawled on the single bed, his shorts bunched up and his T-shirt rumpled like he’d been rolling around for hours. He never wanted to take a nap, but he always needed one. As long as he slept during the day, he was still her little boy. She knew before long he’d be older and would become taller and stronger so quickly.
Her little boy would be grown and she’d be…what? Still a single mother, or would she find someone else? She wasn’t too old to have other children if she got busy with it soon, but she didn’t see that happening. Not while she couldn’t imagine dating, or spent all her free time in angst over a simple kiss rather than using that time wisely.
Still asleep, Eddie rolled to his side. If he didn’t wake in a few minutes, she’d get him up so he could change for Sunday dinner. She’d put on her own best face and try to talk to her brother without getting upset or making him any more anxious than he already was. If she were really lucky, he’d admit he was wrong and apologize for his earlier remarks.
In her dreams. With a sigh, she turned away from Eddie’s bedroom and went into the bathroom. She needed to freshen up before dinner. She hoped Jodie wasn’t serving crow, because Kate might have to eat some after proving Travis right this afternoon.
AFTER A DINNER of roasted chicken with rice and spring vegetables, Kate couldn’t eat a bite of the chocolate cake Jodie served. While Eddie devoured his piece, Travis surprised Kate by asking her to walk out to the patio.
“I’m sorry about coming on too strong earlier today,” he surprised her by saying as she leaned against the rail and hugged her arms against the chill night air. “I’m just worried about you, that’s all, and I have a hard time remembering that you’re a grown woman.”
Kate was so stunned she couldn’t speak for a moment. “I’ll accept your apology, big brother, but I’m a little floored. Since when do you admit you’re wrong?”
“Hey, I can admit I made a slight error in judgment,” he said with a sheepish grin. “I’ve had quite a bit of practice since I married Jodie.”
“Calls you to task, does she?” Kate asked with a smile.
“At times.” He sobered. “Seriously, Kate, you don’t need me to tell you what to think or who to see. If you believe Luke is okay, I’ll lay off the criticism.”
“He’s not perfect, Travis, but who is? And believe it or not, he’s good with Eddie. I think we could be friends.”
“Friends? Nothing more?”
She shook her head. “He’s hardly my style, is he?”
“What do you mean by that?”
She shrugged. “Just that he’s a young, sexy, single guy. True, he has a daughter, but that doesn’t change how I see him. Riding into town on that Harley, looking like a cowboy when he strolled out of his house, acting like a white knight when he swooped Eddie up and took him to the medical clinic. That’s not the kind of man…well, that I might be interested in romantically.”
“You’re a wonderful, beautiful woman, Kate. Any man would be lucky to have you.”
Wow, two men in the same day singing her praises. “I’m not in the same league as Luke Simon and we both know it.”
Travis narrowed his eyes. “Which ‘we’ would that be, and how do ‘we’ know it?”
“Oh, never mind. Just believe me when I say that my relationship with him is professional as I help him with the house, and hopefully, since we’re neighbors, we can be friendly after Brittany arrives. She’s going to need some friends here in Ranger Springs, poor little girl.”
“Okay, I won’t worry about you…for now. I don’t know much about Simon, but I’m going to trust your judgment and take Hank’s word.”
“Thanks, Travis. I know that’s hard for you.”
“I love you.”
Kate sighed. “I know you do, and I love you, too.”
Her brother gave her a big hug. “Just keep your eyes open, okay?”
“I promise.” She’d keep her eyes on her goal—making Luke into a daddy—and off his sexy good looks. And she absolutely wouldn’t think about that kiss, because it wasn’t going to happen again.