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Looking at myself in a large clean mirror, in a private yellow stone bed chamber the Queen had given to me so I could prepare for the wedding, my wedding, I stared at myself for a moment.
In the mirror, I looked at myself in my posh, expensive wedding suit with my shirt button undone and my dulled blade in my hand. Not moving. Just there.
The smell of sweet earthy aftershave filled the air and the taste of chocolate cake touched my tongue. I knew there was a little chocolate cake behind me on a stool from one of the cooks. I ignored it.
Bright orange light shone through a little round window high in the ceiling of the little room as the late afternoon sun started to set. The light gently warmed my neck.
I know the castle was in chaos but happy chaos. All the Nobility, former Inquisitors, the common folk, everyone was all preparing for my wedding.
I even heard a few servants rush past my room. It was all so surreal. I really didn’t believe I was anyone special but here I was. A hero. A brother. A Lord. And soon a husband.
This was all so strange and alien to me. I didn’t know how to feel, if I was able to feel too much. But I knew I was happy. I was happy for so many reasons.
My mind turned to what my Father would say and think (and my Mother) if they were here to see me. Of course, they would be proud. My parents would love me no matter what. But my Father would be especially proud because I defied all odds and ended a threat to the country.
My Mother naturally would be proud for a whole different reason. On the outside, she would be proud because I was doing tons of firsts and because I had made the House of Fireheart even more powerful.
On the inside though, she would be proud because I found something she could never have. Peace.
My Mother always pretended to be happy in her scheming, cunning plans but I knew she wasn’t. It was all an act. Ever since my Father died she was different. Her mind was plagued by images of my Father, the man she was devoted to. The man who gave her so much. After all, she was just a piece of common filth in the beginning.
She would be proud I was happy.
A part of me wondered what I would be like if Harrison died or was taken from me. Then I remembered I didn’t have to imagine. It had happened. My beautiful Harrison was taken from me by lies and deception.
But we had found each other again and that’s what today was all about. My wedding. A symbol that everyone can be happy and in love.
So yes, my parents would be proud of me.
My mind turned to another topic- my Lordship. I was actually Head of a Noble House. In all honesty, I wasn’t sure what I was more confused or shocked about. The fact the law was changed or that everyone demanded it.
Both were shocking. My entire life I was told I was a freak, a disgraceful person who was never, ever going to achieve anything.
I was bought up and experiencing a world that hated me. They all wanted me dead. I was an abomination, a freak or Unholy thing that needed to be slaughtered.
But in the end here I was. Standing in front of a mirror looking at a great man (if I do say so myself) in a wedding suit about to get married to the gay man I loved.
Most of all though, I was standing here. I was alive and loving life. All those homophobes or people who hated me for my autism were dead. The Church was physically killed. The Inquisition was mostly dead, but it was their ideology and faith that were dead.
So yes, I looked in the mirror and I saw a man who was a survivor. A great supportive brother. A loyal servant to his Queen but most importantly a man who wanted to marry the love of his life and wanted to serve the people on Fireheart land to the best he possibly could.
That is the man I am.