I pick up the empty coffee mug from the low table that is surrounded by four deep-cushioned purple chairs, and with the opposite hand, wipe down the wooden surface. Tossing my towel over one shoulder, I trudge back behind the counter, through the swinging door back to the small kitchen and deposit my load onto the counter beside the sink. I’ll wash the dirty ones later, as we still have a large enough stock of clean cups to get us through the evening throng of coffee drinkers.
Luckily, the new employee Georgia hired will start tomorrow. She’ll serve as a part-time barista, dishwasher, and server, as well as whatever bottom-of-the-totem-pole duties come with being the new kid on the block. Until then, I haven’t minded the extra shifts, because they’ve kept my mind semioccupied. I’ve been so tired at night I don’t even have it in me to dwell on the myriad of dark feelings that seem to be dwelling deep within me, easily succumbing to deep sleep as a means of avoidance.
I’m feeling completely unsettled and without confidence in myself. Also slightly betrayed and a bit disappointed in myself.
And if I’m honest…I’m a little bit angry at Gray.
I know her advice to me last week to stay away from Roman came from a place of genuine concern. I truly believe part of it was concern for me, and she admitted as much that she also had some concern for the Brannon name. I get that. I really do. But what’s disappointing to me is that while Gray was quick to point out that her sisterly concern was indeed real, she never once considered my happiness within her advice. She never once paused to consider the ramifications on me personally.
It may have been too much to hope for, but if she likes me as she says she does, and if she has mostly accepted I am in fact her sister, then why didn’t she consider that I might really like Roman and that we could have something potentially special? I mean, all indications were that we definitely had something unique, and we were both willing to see where it was going with an equal measure of excitement.
I think deep down, I might even suspect that Gray knows that I want to be a part of this family so badly that she may have even used that to her advantage, knowing that I’d put our relationship and whatever I could do to develop it as my number-one priority.
And now I’m doubting having done just that.
I think I underestimated just how much I’d come to like Roman. I didn’t understand it until that moment he walked away from me in the hallway and a heavy blanket of sad disappointment settled over me. I didn’t appreciate the level of intimate interest I’d had in him until that night when I got home, I sat on my couch and an overwhelming sense of yearning thrummed through me as I remembered us lying on the couch together to watch a movie. And when I say intimate, I’m not talking about sex. Yeah, I know sex with him would be stellar and mind-blowing, and I’m sure we were headed there sooner rather than later, but I’m talking about just the personal affinity I feel for him and the level of pure comfort I feel with him.
It’s not something I’ve experienced before, especially not so soon in a relationship. It’s almost intangible and undefinable, but it’s absolutely real.
And now it’s gone.
Ugh. I’ve got to shake this shit off. I can’t continue to wallow, pining over something that is no more. I also have to figure a way to get past this brewing anger I’ve got toward Gray, because that most certainly isn’t going to help me develop a bond with her. And finally, I need to open myself back up to the notion of being a family with her and Brian, to just accept my losses and move on, trying to be happy with my gains.
Fat fucking chance, my subconscious says to me sarcastically. It knows as well as I do that I’ve not been one to have my life dictated by others. I’ve been making my own decisions and guiding my own failures and successes since I was eighteen, and every single experience has made me stronger and wiser. The fact I’m letting someone else dictate part of my happiness is frankly just chapping my ass, and I know I’m going to have to get this off my chest with Gray at some point.
But that is for another day, as I have to finish cleaning up from the lunch crowd and then grab some food for myself before I start working the back end of my double shift for the upcoming evening.
Squaring my shoulders, I turn and head back through the swinging door, then come to a dead stop when I see Brian standing on the other side of the counter with Georgia. They’re both looking at each other, and Brian laughs at something Georgia has said to him.
I’m so surprised to see him standing there—with her—and that they’re laughing together that I grunt slightly when the door swings back through and bumps me solidly in the butt.
Brian and Georgia’s heads turn my way, and my dad’s laughter dies but a smile remains that’s filled with happiness to see me.
“Hey, kiddo,” he says, and I’m not going to lie, I really like that affectionate term.
“What are you doing here?” I ask cautiously.
“You’ve been ignoring me,” he says, then tips his head down to Georgia. “And we’re both worried about you.”
Oh shit. They’re here to pick at my scabs that formed after last week, and I don’t know if I’m ready to give Brian that level of access to me personally. Because if he scrapes that shit away and tries to get to the root of my feelings, he’s going to know I’m not feeling warm and fuzzy toward Gray. And I don’t want him to have to choose between us, because he’ll choose Gray. Without a doubt.
So I roll my eyes at both of them and give a tinkling laugh. “You’ve got nothing to worry about. I’m totally fine, and I’ve got a ton of work to do.”
“Well, luckily, as your boss, I can order you into my office so we can have a chat,” Georgia says firmly. “And then you can get back to work.”
“Georgia, seriously,” I huff out. “There is nothing to talk about.”
She puts her hands on her hips, glares at me, and says very slowly. “My office. Now.”
Shit, shit, shit.
While I consider Georgia to be my friend, probably my closest in the world, she is talking to me now like a boss, and I cannot ignore it. With a sigh, I pull the towel over my shoulder, toss it onto the counter, and turn toward her office, knowing that she and Brian are close on my heels.
When we are inside and the door closes behind us, I turn to face both of them and say, “There is nothing going on.”
“Gray said something to you at the arena that’s upset you,” Brian says matter-of-factly, his eyes pinned on mine. “And I want to know what it was.”
I swallow hard, trying to push past the lump in my throat.
To lie or not to lie?
To start this relationship off right, or to start it with hard feelings and untruths?
Without letting my gaze waiver from his, I tell him, “Gray advised me that I shouldn’t see Roman.”
“And what exactly did she say?” Brian asks neutrally.
“She said he had a bad reputation. She was concerned for me,” I tell him.
“And do you believe she meant that? Outside of the ‘bad reputation’ part, which speaks for itself.”
“Yes,” I say without hesitation. “I think she was genuine.”
“But that’s not all?” he guesses.
“I was advised of my obligations to the Brannon name, and that if things got messy with Roman, it would reflect on the family.”
“I see,” he says slowly, and takes a step toward me. With head tilted, he asks, “And what did you do?”
My chin tilts up. “I told Roman I couldn’t see him anymore.”
“Hmmmm,” he says, flicking his eyes over to Georgia, and I notice they share a look. I’m not sure what it’s about, but there’s no doubt they’ve had a conversation about this in some detail. When he looks back to me, he calmly clasps his hands behind his back and asks me, “And why in the world would you ever do that?”
“Huh?” I say dumbly.
Just…huh?
“Why would you stop seeing a man just because Gray advised you to do so? I mean, I haven’t known you all that long, but it’s been long enough to know you’re a free thinker and have a good head on your shoulders. So I repeat…Why would you ever stop seeing someone you’re clearly interested in just because Gray said so?”
“What?” is all I can say.
Brian shakes his head with a measure of disappointment in his eyes. He raises a hand and taps the tip of his forefinger against my forehead. “Think for yourself.”
Then he drops his finger and taps it over the left side of my chest. “And follow your heart.”
“What?” I ask again, my brow furrowing in confusion.
And then the great Brian Brannon rolls his eyes at me. The CEO and owner of the Cold Fury, worth millions upon millions of dollars, who commands respect throughout the entire sports world, pulls a twelve-year-old’s eye roll on me.
“Lexi,” he says. “Stop being obtuse. You understand me just fine.”
And yeah, I do, but I’m just having a hard time believing it. “But…Gray was concerned…and then there’s a reputation to uphold…and—”
“Gray doesn’t know everything,” Brian interjects. “So stop trying so hard to have something with her that you’ll give up a part of yourself to get there.”
And now my eyes narrow at him in suspicion. “You do know that Roman has made quite a bad name for himself, right?”
“Sadly, I’ve read all the tabloid reports and I’ve obviously been privy to his suspensions,” Brian says dryly, and I completely ignore Georgia’s snort.
“So, as my father,” I ask dubiously, “you don’t have a problem with me seeing him?”
“I have a problem with you not being happy,” he counters. “And if Mr. Bad Boy Roman Sýkora makes you happy, go for it. I just ask that you refrain from posting half-naked selfies with him online.”
Georgia snorts again, and this time I can’t help it…my lips tip upward.
Then they curve into a full smile as I realize all of a sudden that Brian has just paved the way for me to see Roman. Well, assuming that Roman still has any interest in me, since it’s entirely possible that he could be completely repulsed by me after my brush-off.
“And you don’t think Gray will be mad at me?” I ask, my smile faltering slightly as this thought occurs to me.
Brian shrugs his shoulders. “So what if she is? Sisters fight, you know.”
“But not newfound sisters who have over two decades of lost time to make up for,” I say tartly.
My dad laughs, throwing his head back, and when his eyes return to me they’re sparkling with amusement. “Now that I’ll give you, but honestly, Lexi, I’m sure Gray was just giving advice, and if you choose not to follow it, she’s going to be fine. She might still be concerned, but trust me when I say she wants you to be happy too.”
“Do you really think so?” I ask gruffly, my throat once again clogging with emotion.
“I know so,” Brian says firmly, then his hands come to my shoulders. “Gray may be a high-powered woman who can be slightly intimidating on the best of days, but at her core, she has a heart as big as the ocean. Just trust me on this, okay?”
“Okay,” I say as I huff out a relieved breath followed by a smile. “Can we hug it out now? Then I’m going to call Roman.”
Brian laughs again and wraps me in an embrace. Standing on my tiptoes to accept it, I see Georgia watching us with her hand over her mouth, head tilted, her eyes shining with emotion. She’s as moved by this father-daughter moment as I am.
Which brings to mind…
I pull away from Brian and look to him, then to Georgia, and back to him. “You two clearly had talked about me before you came here. What’s up with that?”
“Oh, that,” Georgia says as she walks over and loops her arm through Brian’s. “We had our first date today, and I think it was marvelous. So good, in fact, I feel comfortable eating tabbouleh on our next date.”
Wait! What?
Before I can even process that, Georgia pats Brian’s arm and turns to look up at him. “And when might that next date occur?”
Brian looks down at Georgia and grins at her. “I’m thinking dinner…tonight. You game?”
“Oh baby,” she says with a purr. “You have no idea.”
And…this just got weird. “O-k-a-a-a-y,” I say slowly as I back away from the weirdness toward the door. “I’m just going to leave you two alone to kiss it out or something.”
“I don’t kiss on the first date,” Georgia says primly as I open the door with a backward reach of my hand. Then her eyes practically glow with wickedness as she winks at me. “But I’m totally open to at least second base thereafter.”
“Ugh,” I say dramatically as I clap my hands over my ears. “Don’t ever say that stuff in front of me again.”
Brian’s lips press into an amused smile as he watches me walk backward out of the office, my hands still secure against my ears to muffle any sound. And when I’m clear and can shoot a hand out to pull the door closed behind me, I watch as Brian turns to Georgia and, sadly, I hear him say, “Second base, huh?”
I pull the door shut fast and it slams loudly, cutting out any further naughty flirting between my dad and Georgia. But then I put them out of my mind as I dig my phone out of my pocket and pull up Roman’s number.
My heart beats madly as the phone rings, but I’m disappointed to get his voicemail. It’s simple and adorable in his light Czech accent. “Sýkora. Talk to me.” Then a long pause. “Or don’t. I don’t care which, but I suspect you do.”
I smile as I wait for the tone, then leave a somewhat breathless if not confusing message. “Um…hey…it’s Lexi, but you probably know that because of caller ID and all that, but anyway…I just had the most amazing conversation with Brian and he may have pointed out I was a fool to stop seeing you, which is weird, right? But anyway, I want to know if you’re still interested in a goofy, ukulele-playing girl who works at a coffee shop. Or have I so thoroughly wounded your ego that you’re not willing to give me a second chance. If it’s the first, call me back. If it’s the second, throw the bag I left at your house onto the front lawn and text me when it’s ready. I’ll come by and pick it up. Okay, that’s it. I really hope it’s the first. Call me and I’ll play the ukulele just for you.”
I grin as I disconnect the call. I don’t know Roman well, but I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that he’ll be charmed by that message and I’ll be hearing from him sooner rather than later.