Some Shys sweat, blush, or exude other overt signs of shyness, so they figure they have to tell people they are shy. “Not ne-ces-sari-ly,” as Freud said. Sometimes sweat is just sweat. Sometimes a blush is just a blush.
If you like, you can warn them about your “blushing problem” or whatever your particular symptom is. But there is no need to connect it with shyness. Shyness! What’s that?
It’s not just Shys who suffer the soggy-mitt syndrome. Some very confident people blush, sweat, or have clammy hands, too. One of my clients is an extremely confident CEO, yet a profligate blusher.
Local television stations often invite Bernard to comment on the state of the economy. Being on TV is an intensely blush-generating situation. Bernard knows he’ll have a crimson face during his interview. But he is not the least flustered by his blushing. He even seems to enjoy people razzing him.
Every time he arrives at the station for an interview, the man at the welcome desk pushes the intercom to announce: “Calling all makeup artists. Calling all makeup artists. Girls, get the extra pancake [cover-up makeup]. Bernie Blusher is here.”
Bernard joins their laughter as people greet him in the hall, “Hi there, Red!” “How’s it going, Rosy?” They’re not bothered by it because they know he’s not, either. Unself-consciously, Bernard had previously warned people that he might blush at any minute. He chuckles, “My wife hates having hot flashes, so I’m having them for her.”
Bernard proudly calls himself the world’s expert on blushing. Here are a few esoteric facts that may be of interest to other blushers: Blushing runs in families, but babies don’t blush. Fifty-one percent of people blush, and many of them are not shy.1 Women blush more than men, and people of all skin colors blush.
Bernard pretends to be jealous of his CFO, Jolan, a Native American. “He blushes worse than I do,” he grumbles. “But nobody can see it!”
Are sweaty palms your problem? Before shaking hands, you can joke, “Wait a minute, let me dry my mitts off first or you’re not going to like what you feel.” Or you can say, “Shake at your own risk. My hands are always sopping.” Highlight the always, and no one will connect it with shyness.
Home remedy hint: When I feared my hands would sweat profusely, I’d put antiperspirant and a dusting of powder on my hands. A little dab will do ya. (Just don’t tell people what’s on them.)