Even though I was no longer shy by the time I made the breakthrough discovery of how any molecules of musical ability were smashed by the choirmaster, I still felt insecure about being in a group where people were singing.
Resolving to take the agony out of just mouthing songs, I sat down, pen and paper in hand, and made a list of some of my positive qualities that could help me “work around” my coughing crow voice.
Actors in musical theater use the term sell a song when referring to performers who don’t necessarily sing well but who make a song appealing by looking confident and using electrifying gestures.
Hey, I thought. As a recovered Shy, I can do that. I can make eye contact with people and smile. I don’t mind being looked at. I now have the courage to be playful, and (a real sign that I was cured) I even enjoy showing off occasionally. In other words, I can “sell the song.” I call this “working around” my musical insecurity.
The moment soon came to test the technique. I was at a birthday dinner for a good friend. The restaurant lights lowered. The pastry chef himself came in with a tall hat and a taller cake. We all jumped to our feet and began singing “Happy Birthday.”
Wow, did I ham it up! I opened my mouth wide, smiled at everyone while “singing,” and jokingly made conductor-like gestures. No one would ever dream that the sound coming out of my big mouth was… silence.
Suppose that you must attend a gathering, but a wave of shyness engulfs you. To reduce your anxiety about the party, grab a pen and make a list of your positive qualities. Your list might go something like this:
1. I have excellent taste in clothes.
2. I love movies and have seen practically all of the current ones.
3. I’m really good at horseback riding.
4. I’ve been told that I have beautiful teeth.
When you’ve finished the list, imagine positive ways you can employ each quality at the event. For example,
1. My taste in clothes: I’ll wear my new suit and look terrific.
2. My knowledge about movies: I’ll bring up the subject by asking people if they recommend any current movies.
3. My riding skill: I’ll ask people what activities or sports they enjoy. Then I can talk about horseback riding.
4. My beautiful teeth: I’ll smile a lot!
Dreaming up ways to show off your positive qualities is a powerful weapon for fighting fear.