Have you ever seen a play where the actor forgot his lines? How did you feel when that happened? Did you look down on him? Of course not. You were just uncomfortable for him.
That’s the way some Sures feel around a Shy. They don’t dislike you. They just feel your discomfort and don’t know how to handle it. Additionally, some awkward or unsophisticated people think it “cramps their style.”
Bantering and teasing is a trademark of the average American conversation, especially among younger or less cultured people. But Shys aren’t used to putting other people down, even in fun.
Guys especially like to joke around with each other. “Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today?” Or, “I know you love nature—in spite of what it did to you. Ha ha!” They dish out an insult to a buddy and expect him to chew it up and spit back a witty putdown.
Of course, this foolish banter isn’t just a guy thing. Women enjoy something similar. Rather than mocking each other, though, women often laugh about an absent colleague. Many years ago, Frank Sinatra called it “dishing the dirt with the girls.” They’re not malicious. They’re just upholding the American teen stereotype.
Teasing is not a pretty game, but it is fun for the insulters. It can be fun for the “insultees,” too, but only if they know how to sling the slurs back. A tennis pro doesn’t enjoy playing with a newbie who has never hit a ball. And there’s no thrill in razzing somebody who can’t spar.
It’s hard when a group of people look like they’re having fun and you’re standing on the sidelines. You think that you’d like to banter with them. But with your more sensitive nature, you’d probably find it foolish. You don’t feel inept because you’re not a pro football player. So why feel inadequate that you don’t play this combative game?