“Thanks a bunch, Leil,” you may be saying. “You’ve just told me that I’m seeing social situations through a muddy lens. Then you say that I remember them pessimistically and it gets worse each time I think of them! Then, to top it off, you’re saying that I’ll only remember the negative parts. Thanks for the bad news.”
No, Shys, don’t you see? It’s good news. In fact, it’s stupendous news! I have given you sociological proof that:
1. Shys imagine disapproval or rejection when it isn’t there. (see Reference #6 on page 261)
2. Shys think they performed in past events far more negatively than they did. (Reference #10)
3. Shys distort or forget the good experiences. (Reference #12)
4. During a tense situation, Shys “watch” themselves from the outside like a disapproving audience. (Reference #14)
Why is all of this negative thinking good news? Because, it means that everything you did then and are doing now is better than you think. Although you can’t go back and erase the pain your insecurity gave you, your expectations and interpretations of future situations can be altered. You will have more confidence in how you will act and react in the future.
The only bad news is that you didn’t know how good your social life was. You could have enjoyed it if you did!