In spite of the millions of times people have heard their own name, hearing it roll off your tongue makes them feel warm and fuzzy. But did you know that it also says a lot about you? Subliminally they hear, “I am confident. I like you. I respect you. And we are friends.”
Understandably, as with mastering any new skill, it’s difficult to gauge how many times to say the other person’s name in conversation. Soon you’ll get the feel of when it’s appropriate. For now, lay it on them at the greeting and the parting. “Good morning, Name.” “Good to see you, Name.” “So long, Name.” “Nice talking with you, Name.”
Be careful, however. If you utter their names too much, you could come across as insincere and condescending. Not to mention annoying.
I had a problem with my computer several months ago. I called tech support to report that every time I tried to open a file, I’d get an error message. The conversation went something like this:
Techie: OK. What’s your name?
Me: Leil.
Techie: Are you sitting in front of your computer now, Leil?
Me: Yes, I am.
Techie: Good, Leil. Now double click on “My Computer.”
Me: OK, I’ve done that.
Techie: Leil, now I want you to click on “Folders.” Have you done that, Leil?
Techie: Now, Leil, scroll down to the directory the file is in.
Me: OK. (While wanting to shout, “Alright, already, I know what my %#&$ name is!”)
Techie: OK. Now I want you to double click on the file that you can’t open, Leil.
At this point, I wanted to double click on his head with a hammer.
With a little practice, you’ll quickly get a sense of when to use someone’s name and when not to. As your confidence grows, so will your sensitivity to subtleties like this. For now, twice is fine.