Now we graduate to bringing up a subject in conversation, not just discussing what other people introduce.
You’ve heard people complaining that someone is “too opinionated.” Most likely that’s not your problem. Most Shys are not opinionated enough. That very fact gives you an unrestricted license to start forming strong opinions on matters.
Start by listing your principles and interests. Perhaps it is your conviction that global warming is just a myth or that computer games are educating our kids. On the other hand, you might feverently feel that global warming will fry the planet or that computer games will lead to future generations being legless.
Then think each opinion through and the reasons you feel that way. Surf the Internet for some substantiating arguments. Articulate these elements to yourself. Then figure out ways you can casually turn the conversation to those topics you are knowledgeable about.
A quick recap. You are now:
• Saying “Hi” or “How are you?” to people first (ShyBuster #46);
• Interjecting an immediate comment after you say, “I’m fine” or whatever (ShyBuster #47);
• Following it up with a question to get the other person talking (ShyBuster #47);
• Having an energetic, up-beat voice when you talk—and sounding absolutely dazzled by what others say (ShyBuster #48);
• Giving an enthusiastic “I just love my job” answer to the inevitable question, “And what do you do?” (ShyBuster #49);
• Asking some of the WWWWW and H queries (“Who?” “What?” “When?” “Where?” “Why?” and “How?”) to keep your conversational partner going (ShyBuster #51);
• Saying the other person’s name at the beginning and end of the conversation (ShyBuster #53);
• Contemplating what you’ll say when all the common topics come up (ShyBuster #54);
• Never giving brief answers to banal questions, but stretching your answers out (ShyBuster #52);
• And, finally, planning how to bring up some topics that excite you (ShyBuster #55).
But there is one more element to being a confident and charismatic conversationalist.