LEAD ME INTO TEMPTATION…
SHAVED BY THE BELLE
SHIT. FUCK. SHIT. FUCK. SHIT. FUCK. DAMN!”
The stream of curse words that come tumbling out of my mouth seem wholly appropriate for the disastrous situation I currently find myself in. I have a little over an hour before my husband gets home for his surprise anniversary celebration. But instead of finding the smooth, shaved pussy of a wanton wife awaiting him, he is going to find my tortured tinklebelle that now looks like it has been deforested by a circus chimp armed with a fucking weed whacker.
My DIY job went terribly wrong and now I’m standing here sporting a gruesome patchwork of pubes. Sad and unsightly? Hell, yes. Smooth and sexy? Not so fucking much. Now what? It is too late to get an appointment, and I have no idea who or where to call anyway. There’s only one thing left to do: call in the cavalry.
“Please be home. Please be home,” I pray aloud as Tamara’s phone continues to ring. After six rings, she finally picks up, sounding either sleepy, high or freshly fucked.
“I need help,” I announce. The panic in my voice must have cut through her yet-to-be-determined fog because she perks right up.
“Are you okay? What’s wrong? Should I call nine-one-one?”
“Just get over here, NOW!” I hang up the phone and immediately burst into tears. I really want my romantic dinner and sexy unveiling to be perfect, but things are off to a bad start.
Tam lives about fifteen minutes away, and while I wait for her, I decide to set the table and put the pork tenderloin, Brooks’s favorite, into the oven. By the time I have it all prepped and am sliding it into the oven, I hear Tamara’s frantic knock on my door.
“Girl, what’s happened?” she cries out as soon as she is inside.
“You have to fix it!” I say, as I fling my black silk robe open to reveal my clumsy handiwork.
Tam bursts out laughing. She just stands there chortling and damn near choking at my expense. “What the fuck…ha…ha… have you done to your damn self?”
“Just shut up and come fix it,” I demand, grabbing her hand and pulling her back into the bedroom.
“Fine, but you owe me. I’d planned on staying in all night and fucking myself silly. I scored some of the best clit weed I’ve had in a long-ass time.” Clit weed is Tamara’s term for marijuana that goes straight to her clitoris, making it fat, hard and way, way orgasmic. She isn’t a pothead by any means—that is until it comes to clit weed. Then she’s a fucking junkie.
“Whatever. But you have to do it quick. Brooks will be home in less than an hour.”
“Okay, let me take a good look.” I pulled my robe open again, allowing her to peruse the situation. “Only thing you can do now is shave the damn thing bald.”
“What the fuck do you think I was trying to do?”
“Calm down. I need a razor, shaving cream, a bowl of warm water, a towel and a match.”
“A MATCH? What the hell do you need a match for?” I ask, while visions of bushfires blaze through my head.
“To light my joint so you can take a hit, calm the fuck down, and let me do what I need to do so I can get back to what I want to do.”
“I don’t need a joint to relax.”
“I’m about to put a sharp razor all in and around your pussy lips. You’re already aggravated and in a hurry. Need I go on? Just take a hit and let’s do this. Time is a-tickin’ and you want to be ready for your anniversary lickin’.”
“Tee-hee,” I say sarcastically as I speed off to get the requested items. I return and take a couple of tokes before passing it to Tam. She declines, declaring she’s already had enough, and instead pops in her mouth some “curiously strong” spearmint Altoid gum.
“You’re not too high, are you? I’m not trying to replace my pubic hair with Band-Aids.”
“Shush and let me concentrate. This shouldn’t take long to clean up.”
I do as I am told and lie back on my bed, naked under my open robe, with my knees up and resting together. Suddenly it dawns on me—even for the best of friends, this is a truly up-close-and-personal situation, and for that reason, and all the others she espoused, I am happy Tamara brought that joint.
“Open,” she says, gently prying my knees apart and applying shaving cream to my crotch. She works the cool froth into my pubic area and begins to pull the razor across the top of my mound and down the lips of my pussy. I close my eyes as I feel and hear the gentle scraping of wiry hair remnants being removed. Tam herself makes no sound as she works quickly and gently. I listen as she swishes the razor through the bowl of water and taps it against the edges. Tamara returns her hands to between my legs and pushes my knees closer to the mattress, scraping the hair away. Again I hear swish, swish, tap, tap and then once again feel her hands moving back in. Only this time, I feel cool metal against my sensitive pussy lips. The clit weed is really kicking in because I feel deliciously vulnerable splayed wide open as she runs the razor up my tender, naked skin. My pussy is actually tingling and I am loving the sensation. My clit hiccups as my nipples harden in response.
Tamara gently separates my labia and shaves away the remaining stubble. A moan has been sent by my brain but my mouth refuses to release it. My breasts and clit are screaming in tandem for attention. This shit feels sexy and slutty and fabulous as hell! I am definitely aroused and I force my eyes to stay shut, afraid that any movement will give me away. “Almost done,” Tamara whispers. A waft of peppermint reaches my nose and adds to the sensory delight. “I’ll be right back.”
I have no idea where she is going but take the opportunity to slide my hand down past my thigh. The skin of my hand comes into contact with pudding soft folds of flesh. My tinklebelle is as smooth and soft as, yes, a baby’s behind. The sensation is amazing and immediately I am craving the touch of tongue on my bare belle. As my left hand gives each nipple a quick pinch and a roll, I start to move my right hand toward my dying-to-be-sucked clit but stop when I hear Tamara’s footsteps approaching. She says nothing but I hear the sound of friction made by two hands being quickly rubbed together. Within seconds I feel a warm slickness being spread around my aching pussy. I smell roses and know immediately that she has found my body oil and is rubbing—no massaging—my hairless twat. I feel every rub and gentle tug like I’ve never experienced them before. My vagina is much more sensitive without the jungle. Why had I taken so long to do this?
Some of the oil has dripped down into the crack of my ass and as I am enjoying the slippery sensation along with my pussy massage, I hear a gentle buzz fill the room. The pleasure of this marijuana-enhanced sensation is too tempting and I am still unwilling to open my eyes to investigate. I feel the lips of my pussy being gently tugged open and feel a wet, gooey mass seduce my clit with a perfectly modulated vibration. Within seconds, I feel a cool, peppermint thrill spread up and down the thin walls of my vagina. Tam circles my engorged bud with the vibrator and I can feel my juicy wetness drip down my hairless valley and pool beneath me.
I hear a moan and the sound of Tamara gulping back her arousal. She too is turned on by all of this and I decide if I just don’t open my eyes, this can remain a true fantasy and neither of us will have to deal with the embarrassment of this delicious, unintended seduction.
The hurts-so-good burning sensation is intensified when Tam leans over and blows her peppermint breath directly on my clitoris. Immediately, it begins to throb and she responds by firing it up with intermittent waves of battery-operated bliss. I feel a gummy concentration of cool at the tip of my nib, still not knowing what it is and frankly not giving a damn because I am so close to spraying pussy juice right in front of my best friend that it’s not funny.
I want to let go so badly, but I am embarrassed.
“It’s okay. Let it go,” she says reading my humiliation and granting me permission to detonate. She ups the vibration a notch and within seconds I am coming in waves and waves of pleasure. My hands automatically cup my breasts, pulling at my nipples, which intensifies my orgasm. Tamara continues to rub my bare and swollen pussy, watching in fascination as it twitches and pops.
I relax into the fading tide and open my eyes in time to see two things: Tamara pulling her wad of gum from my pussy and sticking it back into her mouth, and Brooks walking through the bedroom door.
Please do continue…