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The following week went by quickly. Mick had continued to visit Carly every day—and every day, it was her parents that he sat down with for a cup of tea. But Mick persisted. He wasn’t about to give up so easily.
That day, he was taking Carly back to the hospital for her follow up appointment. He hoped that once again, they might have the opportunity to talk. This time, Carly didn’t throw a fuss when she came down and found Mick ready and waiting to take her. She’d even said thank you when he helped her in to the car.
“Is there anything you want to do before I take you back home?” Mick asked after the appointment.
It took a while for Carly to answer. “I have been wanting to see the lake again. It’s been a while,” she said.
“No problem—we can do that.” From his peripheral, Mick saw Carly glance his way.
“Are you sure you don’t mind?”
“Not at all,” he said. “I think it’ll be great for you to get some fresh air.”
“Thank you,” she said softly.
* * *
CARLY KNEW THAT THIS was the time that she should have been rejoicing. The sun was shining. The lake was calm, glistening. She was cancer-free and having the double mastectomy decreased her chances of ever getting it again. Of course she knew it wasn’t a guarantee, but it did give her some relief knowing that she’d done everything in her power to win the fight. If after all of this, the beast returned, then she wasn’t going to push it and just let life take its course. But for now, she was free.
“Penny for your thoughts?”
Mick’s voice broke through her thoughts. Carly shook her head. “I was just thinking—I think I made the right decision.”
Mick listened.
“Dr. Bennett asked me if I wanted reconstruction surgery. I said, no.”
Mick had known that. He was there. But he listened. This was the most that Carly had spoken to him in a while.
“I don’t think that having the surgery will change things for me,” Carly said.
“You don’t mind not having breasts?”
Carly shook her head. “I did. But now...I don’t think I do. I mean, who knows? I might change my mind tomorrow. I know that the option is there. But I think it’s time that I faced this head on.”
Mick leaned back into the bench and effortlessly crossed his legs.
“Do you,”—Carly hesitated and shook her head—“nothing. Never mind.”
“Do I what?”
“No, it’s nothing.”
“Ask me,” Mick encouraged her.
“Do you mind that I don’t have—you know...breasts?”
“Carly,”—Mick reached for her hand and got on the ground, on one knee—“I wouldn’t care if you had two heads. Or twelve fingers or toes.”
Mick bowed his head and rested it on the edge of her knees. Carly looked at the top of his head. She lifted her hand to run her fingers through his thick salt and pepper hair and closed her eyes as she took a deep breath in.
“Do you hear me?” Mick lifted his head and looked into her eyes.
She heard him; and she wanted to believe him. Carly blinked quickly and looked away.
“I love you, Carly,” Mick continued. “My life—my whole life,” he emphasized, “has been nothing until you came into it. You give my life meaning. I wake up every morning and you’re the first person I think of. And at night, before I sleep, you’re the last face to grace my thoughts.”
“You just think you love me,” Carly argued.
“I know I love you.”
“We’d be fools to think that this thing between us is love. “Carly bit down on her quivering bottom lip. A tear escaped from her eyes.
“Don’t cry,” Mick pleaded. “Please, don’t cry.”
“I don’t know if I can do it.”
“I have never met anyone as strong as you, Carly Matthews. There is nothing—you hear me—nothing that you can’t do.”
“My whole life had been ruled by this—this disease. Things I wanted to do. Places I wanted to go.”
“Your life is yours to live. Only you can decide what you want to do with it.”
“It’s not that simple.” Carly sniffled and pulled the neck of her sweater up to wipe her nose. “I’m tired of pretending it doesn’t bother me.”
“Acknowledge it. Acknowledge that it bothers you.” Mick got up off his knee and sat next to her. “Admit that it scares you. But don’t let it run your life. I could die tomorrow. Any one of us could.”
“That’s easy for you to say. You don’t have this, this thing, following you everywhere you go.”
“I know I don’t have cancer. I may never get it. Or perhaps I could in the future. Who knows? But you know what else you’ve got?”
Carly looked at him. “What?”
“Me. You’ve got me, Carly. And so many other people who love you. I have spent the last forty-odd years chasing everything I thought I needed for a successful life. But in the end, I learned, it doesn’t really matter. Sure, I’ve got money. But so what? I haven’t got anyone in my life to show for it. I’ve lost my family in the process. My parents, my siblings. And for what?”
“At least you’ve achieved your dreams.”
“But have I really? Because it seems to me that everything I’d done since I left home at seventeen had been out of pride, even anger. What kind of dreams did I have to lead me so astray like that?”
“You can talk,” Carly scoffed. “You’ve lived your life.”
“You make it sound like I’ve come to the end of it.”
Carly rolled her eyes at Mick. “You know what I mean.”
* * *
MICK WAS GRATEFUL FOR the chance to reconnect with Carly. It had been a moment he’d been waiting for. Carly didn’t tell him to leave her alone—or to give up on her. She’d opened her heart to him.
“One day at a time, Carly. That’s all we can do. Let’s take it one day at a time—together.”
“I want a future. I want to be able to dream of things and work to get them,” Carly said.
“And you can,” Mick said. “There’s nothing stopping you from doing that.”
“What if that cancer comes back?”
Mick could understand the fear in her question. “What if it doesn’t?”