4

On my walk back to the hotel, I could only think of Arjun and Karishma. My mind wandered back to the thoughts I had just before the phone call. The first meeting had ended with Arjun having given me a brief description of Karishma. I now diverted my thoughts back to the scene when I was about to ask Arjun about Karishma.

As a detective, I always made it a point to go into the finer details of every case I handled. It was the same with Arjun and Karishma. I always looked for every detail I could get. Unconventional for a detective, but I guess that’s what rocked my boat. I havent changed much in fifteen years though.

“Arjun, thanks for the description of yourself and your parents, it helps me place the characters well on my investigation about Karishma. Tell me about Karishma, I want to know about her from you, I am sure I will get some clues on what happened to her once you describe her.”

“Wow, probably this is the easiest of the questions that I can answer and probably the most difficult one. How do I describe to you the love of my life, when she is no longer with me, she is missing from my life. Where do I start, what do I tell you? One thing I can tell you is that I love her so much, and I know this love is going to remain with me throughout my life, and I know I will never ever love again, whether she is with me or not. Mr Rahul, when the love is pure, you love only once in your life, then no matter the number of years that pass between the two, or the long distances that exist between the two, the hearts are always connected. These hearts are inseparable and just the thought that someone somewhere thinks of you, cares for you, remembers you, loves you even if they don’t say so, is enough for the lovers to keep living on. Just that thought is enough to live a life without your love.

There is an optimist in every lover, which always feels that the lovers will unite one day, no matter how long the separation is. They keep on breathing and living in the hope of that unity that is distant but sure, that’s the romance part of it. It’s a romance which only a heart truly in love can imagine and experience; it’s a type of Nirvana that the soul attains thinking of the other. Then no problems or complications or sadness can touch the heart, as the heart is happy thinking and dreaming about its counterpart heart beating in the lover’s body somewhere. My love for Karishma is the same, my heart beats for her, my soul is united with her, my thoughts are living with her, I know she is mine and will always remain and I know that I am only hers.”

With this, Arjun’s face was radiating with a glow I have never seen before, maybe because I have never fallen in true love that he is talking about because I never felt the way he described how lovers feel. I did like someone here and there, but it never advanced into a mature relationship. But I was enjoying the passion with which he was speaking about Karishma, for a moment he had forgotten that she was missing from his life, maybe because he was already lost in his thoughts, being with her in this moment, in a separate and distinct world that belonged only to them. And for a moment, I forgot I was investigating a case, and was absorbed in the epitome of the love story that I was being made aware of.

“Arjun, it’s amazing the way you described your affection for Karishma, and I am getting immersed slowly into your story, continue with your thoughts. I would like to know more about the two of you.”

“Thanks Mr Rahul, and sorry that I got a bit carried away. You asked me about Karishma and I started telling you about my love story. Let me tell you about her, probably I will start with the first time I saw her, that will set things in perspective for you.”

“This was a sunny morning in Mumbai, and we were taking some auditions for a play that we were going to have for our Annual Day celebrations in the Jai Hind College. I must tell you here that my friends and I were quite active in the organization of various cultural events in the college and we were also actors, we used to direct and act in plays. It was one of the most satisfying periods of my life. Slowly from being a fringe actor, I had developed a fondness towards directing and I started directing our plays, in fact, I started dreaming about this as being my profession for life, much to the dismay of my father. He always wanted me to join his business and take over from him one day the reigns of the company.

This time, we were preparing for a Hindi play, a romantic comedy, to be performed at the Annual Day event. We had invited students of the college to come forward and give their auditions if they wanted to act in the play. We used to have all sorts of students, good and bad actors, come forward and perform a skit for two minutes in front of us, saying some dialogues which they were comfortable with. I must tell you some of these students were outright funny and their diction and dialogue delivery were absolutely weird. They used to think themselves as Amitabh Bachchan and say the famous dialogue from the movie Deewar between Amitabh and Shashi Kapoor – mere paas bangla he, gaadi he, bank balance he, tumhare paas kya he, mere paas maa he (I have a bungalow, car, bank balance, what do you have, I have mother). This is one of the most famous dialogues ever in Bollywood and when they used to say it, one used to feel like running away from there and I am sure if Amitabh Bachchan and Shashi Kapoor saw this, they would faint and so would their maa. Then, another famous one was from Sholay – the Gabbar scene. The one where Gabbar asks, “Kitne aadmi the?” and then ended with his famous roar-laugh, followed by three bullets. Their roar laughter made us cry.”

Arjun and I had a laugh at this one and I was forced to play that scene in my mind, such strong was his conviction. He continued, “After some such auditions were over, and we were quite disappointed with the turnout and quality of the budding actors, a fresh face got up and walked towards the stage. For some reason, I was attracted immediately towards this girl, who quite confidently walked towards the centre of the stage. She was wearing a white salwar kurta, with a white dupatta slightly embroidered, her loose hair fell on her shoulders and ended there, she had a poise and elegance of a queen, her big black eyes had the confidence of a very well trained actor and as she looked into our eyes, I knew she was going to be something special. When her eyes turned towards me, as she scanned all the judges, our eyes met, and this was the first time our eyes locked into each other, although it must only have been for a few seconds, but it seemed like eternity. She had a small red bindi on her forehead and big jhumkas (earrings) falling from her ears, which made her face radiant more. Her lips were very well carved and when she smiled at us, they opened wide to make her look so beautiful. I couldn’t just take my eyes off her. But the best was yet to come, her voice. She said, ‘Hi everyone, it’s a pleasure to be here today!’ I was mesmerized by her voice. It was the sweetest voice I had ever heard in my life, every word was like music to the ears singing a symphony in which I got lost, and I just kept staring at her. I suddenly heard Raj (a very close friend) ask, ‘What’s your name?’ I was awakened from my thoughts here, and I wanted to hear the name of this girl who was attracting me towards her. She said in her sweet voice, ‘Karishma.’ It was indeed a Karishma, a chamatkaar, a miracle. Raj asked her if she was prepared for her dialogues and she said nodded her head in affirmation.

She had chosen a romantic dialogue from the movie ‘Dil to Pagal Hai’ between Shahrukh Khan (Rahul) and Madhuri Dixit (Nisha) which is towards the end of the movie. Karishma walked upto me and gave me a piece of paper to read out to give her a cue for her dialogue. No one giving auditions had done this, and this was so different, we all were really impressed. I read the paper, it was a dialogue Rahul asks some questions to Nisha and I got reminded of the scene. I looked into Karishma’s eyes, and said the dialogue as if I was also giving the auditions, and I asked her, ‘Jaane se pehle me tumse sirf ek baat puchna chahata hoon, kya tumne kabhi bhi, ek din ke liye bhi, ek pal ke liye bhi, mujhse pyaar kiya tha? Is sawaal ka jawaab liye bina, mein yahan se jaaonga nahin!’ As I said that, we looked into each other’s eyes and I was nervous, I felt like I was Rahul and she was Nisha from the movie, we were part of the story. Was a story going to be created here?

I wanted to hear what she had to say, she looked into my eyes and on the cue, she said her dialogue, “Maine kabhi bhi tumse pyaar nahin kiya, ek din ke liye nahin, ek pal ke liye nahin, kabhi nahin,” and then she changed her mood as in the movie the tape plays confessing Nisha’s love for Rahul, “Rahul ke bare mein, me tumhe kya bataoon, bas itna samajh lo ke us jaisa mene aaj tak kabhi dekha hi nahin, kabhi woh masoom he, to kabhi woh shaitaan, kabhi paagal he to kabhi genius he, kabhi kabhi bachhon se bhi zyada ziddi he, to kabhi kabhi ek pyaara sa saathi, woh kya he or kya nahin, mein shabdon me kabhi use dhal nahi paayi, par pata nahin kyon mujhe aisa lagta he jab woh mujhe dekhta he, to mein khoobsoorat hu, jab woh hasta he to jee karta he mein naach uthu aur jab woh pyaar karta he to aankh bhar aati he. Woh mujhe ehsaas dilata he ke me uske liye bani hu, aur woh mere liye. Mein usse bahut pyaar karti hu, ek din ke liye nahin, ek pal ke liye nahin, zindagi bhar ke liye, I love you Rahul, I love you.”

The dialogues in English went something like this:

Rahul asks: Before I go, I want to ask you only one thing, have you for even one day, or one moment loved me. I will not go before I get an answer.

Nisha replies: I have never loved you, not for one day, not for one moment, never. Then, Nisha changes her emotions and says, What can I tell you about Rahul, just understand that I have never met anyone like him, sometimes he is so innocent, sometimes so mischievous, sometimes crazy, sometimes a genius, sometimes he is more stubborn than children, sometimes a very sweet companion, what he is or what he is not I have never been put into words, but I don’t know why I feel when he looks at me that I am beautiful, when he laughs, I feel like dancing, and when he loves me, my eyes fill up with tears of joy, he makes me feel that I have been made for him, and he for me, I love him a lot, not for one day, not for one moment, but for my entire life. I love you Rahul, I love you.

We all were mesmerized again, and I was lost completely in her being, she had said the last part of the dialogue making me her prop (as if I was Rahul) and she was confessing her love to me. I was speechless, I didn’t know what to say as there was silence all around, and I don’t know from where I said, “I love you too.”

This dialogue was not part of the paper she had given me to speak, but my uttering these words, broke the silence with a squeal of laughter in the auditorium and I realized what I had done and I actually blushed. I saw Karishma and she was quite amused too and was blushing, her cheeks had gone red and she didn’t know how to respond. And these shameless friends of mine were mocking me continuously and repeating ‘I love you too’ to nag me and make fun of me. This fun was replaced by an ovation of claps for Karishma. We had found a star in her and she was perfect for the role we wanted in the play.

At that moment, I relooked at Karishma, and I knew this was something special, may be my heart had spoken out the ‘I love you’ without the permission of my conscious and I was probably falling in love at that stage. Her voice, her demeanor, her style, her confidence had made a mark on my heart and I already started liking her. This was so much a Bollywood like scene, where two lovers meet, and I felt that my love script was being written here. She glanced at me once and when she saw me looking at her, she just dropped her eyes and walked to her seat on the stage from where she had come.”

We came back to the present as Arjun finished his story and I was so lost in what he was telling me, as if I was watching a movie. As he was telling me about their first meeting, I could actually frame in my mind the pictures of that scene playing in the background.

“Mr Rahul, this is my Karishma and this was my first meeting with her.”

“Arjun, this is the most amazing story I have ever heard about the first meetings in love, and as you said, right out of Bollywood. I think I have enough material from our today’s meeting to ponder over. It creates a good background for me to understand her. Thanks for coming down, I need to have more sessions with you, I am now not only interested in the case of Karishma, but I am also now equally interested in knowing what happened next between the two of you.”

We both smiled. “Thanks Mr Rahul, talking to you today, refreshed my first meeting with Karishma, these are the moments that are etched in my heart and in my life and they are so special to me. Whenever I miss her, I delve into many such moments that we shared, and my heart smiles at that moment. It will be my pleasure to continue my story the next time we meet.”

He said that and left.

And I came back to my present in Gulmarg and realized I had reached my hotel with these thoughts. I had a smile on my face too and I was confident about meeting Arjun the next day.