Chapter Twenty

The elevator doors open onto a floor with high ceilings and lots of windows. It looks like a modern art museum, only with less art and more offices. Outside the elevators is another, smaller lobby area with plants and comfortable chairs. I look around, wondering how I’ll know which way the executive suite is.

A woman at a reception desk looks up. “Ms. Bloom?”

I nod.

She starts to get out of her chair but stops when she sees a man coming out of his office.

“No worries, Louisa. I’ve got this,” he says.

It’s like a sneak peek at what Casey will look like in thirty years. He’s got to be around fifty, and he’s still movie-star handsome.

He holds out his hand to me. “I’m Tim, Casey’s dad.”

I shake his hand. “I’m Hannah. I know Casey from Carlyle.”

“I’m afraid Casey’s not here.”

I stare at him as all thought freezes in my head. I can’t think what to say or do next. For a second I’m afraid I’ll break down and cry, but I swallow and manage to keep it together.

“Why don’t you come sit for a minute or two, since you came all this way,” his dad says.

“I’m so sorry. I should have called first.”

“Don’t be sorry. Normally, you’d have caught him, but as of a couple weeks ago, he no longer works here.”

He turns and heads toward his office, so he doesn’t see me gaping at him. Casey finally did it, then. I wonder how it went. His dad seems fine, but it must have been awful.

I follow him into his office, an enormous room with a sitting area. He sits across from me in some kind of modern chair that probably cost hundreds of dollars. I perch on the edge of the couch, my hands clutched in my lap, and make myself meet his eye.

He smiles again, and while I’m glad to say I don’t get hot for him, he’s enough like Casey that it’s fascinating to look at him. I start to feel a little less awful, and when I smile back it’s a real one.

“Can I get you anything to drink?” he asks.

I’m actually pretty thirsty, but I shake my head. “No, I’m fine, thank you.”

“Casey’s visiting a friend in Monterey, but he’ll be back day after tomorrow. Will you still be here?”

I shake my head. “I fly back tomorrow morning.”

“He’ll be sorry he missed you.”

“I guess I’ll see him soon enough. His room is right down the hall from me.”

Louisa appears in the doorway. “Sorry to bother you, Tim, but your four o’clock is here.”

He looks sat his watch. “Is it that late already?”

I stand up. “It was really nice meeting you.”

Tim gets up, and his expression is so kind, it’s clear he knows I’m crazy gone for his son. How many girls like me has he seen over the years?

“Are you okay, Hannah?”

“I’m just tired. It’s been an intense couple of days.”

“Where are you staying?”

“The Parkside Hotel.”

“Let me call you a car.”

I’m not even sure what that means. “Oh…um…that’s okay. I don’t mind taking public transportation.”

“It’s the least I can do to make up for my son having such bad timing.”

I really am tired, so I hesitate too long.

“That’s settled then,” he says with a pleased smile. “I’ll walk you downstairs and leave you with George. The car will be here in no time.”

Stopping at Louisa’s desk, he asks her to call for the car. But instead of leaving it at that, he accompanies me down in the elevator. We step out into the foyer near the reception desk.

“It was a pleasure meeting you, Hannah,” he says, holding out his hand.

We shake, and he’s so nice, so fatherly and attentive, I can see why Casey dreaded the thought of disappointing him.

I take a seat in the lobby area until George tells me the car has arrived. A man in a dark suit gets out and opens the back door for me, like I’m some kind of VIP. I give him the name of my hotel and sit back to watch the scenery go by.

Back at the hotel I crawl onto the bed and turn on the TV for company, but I can’t follow anything on the screen. I’m tired to my bones, and I can’t help worrying that I missed my chance with Casey. I’ll see him again in a few days, but Harry said it best in When Harry Met Sally. When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

I wake up to my phone ringing.

It takes me a minute to realize I’m not dreaming. Then I look at my phone, and it’s Casey’s name on the screen.

“Casey?”

“I’m downstairs. Can I come up and see you?”

“I’m in a hotel,” I say stupidly.

“I know. I’m in the lobby. Can I come up?”

“Yes! I mean, of course. I’m in 428.”

It’s dark in the room, the only light cast by the TV screen. I turn it off and turn on the standing lamp by the desk, then run to the bathroom to straighten myself out. My hair’s a tangle, and it’s obvious I just woke up.

My hand shakes as I pull my toothbrush out of my toiletry bag and quickly brush my teeth.

Oh God.

Oh God oh God oh God.

I leave the bathroom, only to stand frozen in place, my legs trembling like they want to give up altogether.

Then he knocks on the door, and I swing it open.

He’s clean-shaven again, no longer the stranger who kept his distance. His expression is anxious, his eyes full of hope.

My tears come out of nowhere, and I’m not sure if they’re happy or sad ones, I only know they’re for him.

Then his arms are around me, strong and solid. “Hey, don’t cry.”

“I thought you were gone,” I say into his neck, my voice wobbly.

“My dad called and told me you’d come looking for me. I drove straight here.” He pulls back and looks down at me, and I see the same need in him I have in my own heart. “I had to know why you came to see me.”

I let out a deep, shuddering breath. “Because I love you. I love you so much, I feel awful.”

A look of wonder crosses his face, and then his arms are around me again. I’m lifted off my feet and swung in a circle, like he’s a soldier home from the war.

He’s smiling when he sets me back down, and I kiss him with all the longing and despair I’ve carried for so many weeks. I kiss him like I never let myself do before, my neediness and fear and love offered up to him without reservation.

He takes it even deeper. Everything he tried to tell me is there in the fierce demand of his mouth on mine, in the way he holds me. I wrap my arms tighter around him and press as close as I can, straining for more.

“God, Hannah,” he gasps.

He scoops me up and drops me in the middle of the bed, coming down beside me. A sigh escapes me at the feel of him, familiar and new all at once.

His expression is serious, almost sad. “I didn’t think I’d ever kiss you again.”

“I’m sorry I’ve been such a coward.”

“It wasn’t just you. I should have told you earlier there wasn’t anyone else, but I was afraid you wouldn’t care. You’re so fierce, and you go after what you want. And there I was, too afraid to talk to my dad.”

“But you did it.”

“Yeah, I did.”

“Did you really mean it when you said you hadn’t looked at anyone else?”

“Of course I meant it.”

He pulls me even closer. Our knees are touching, and I can see the blond tips of his eyelashes.

“But girls are always hitting on you.”

“You’re the one I want. I was a goner the first time I kissed you.”

“You never seemed in much of a rush to have our lessons,” I point out.

“If they were too close together, it would have been over too fast. I figured if I spaced them out, maybe I’d get more time to prove I wasn’t the guy you thought I was.”

“I didn’t want to be like all the other girls who fell at your feet.”

“It was never like that. You know that, right?”

I nod, humbled that he’s wanted me all this time.

“I think I started to fall in love with you the day we watched I Love Lucy, but I didn’t realize I loved you until the night you fell asleep in my bed. I spent the rest of the semester torturing myself by sleeping on your pillow.”

“Without washing it?” I tease.

“Yeah.”

“Me, too.” My smile fades as I think about the night Lydia banged on his door. “I’m sorry for how I handled things that last night. I shouldn’t have run away like I did. I guess I was just scared.”

He smooths the hair back from my forehead. “I know, babe. I wanted you so bad, and I let it get too intense. I’m sorry.”

I lay my hand on his cheek, wishing I could take back all the pain I caused him. “I’ve been so stupid.”

“I don’t blame you for thinking what you did. It didn’t look great.”

“It hurts to love you so much.”

“Tell me about it. It killed me to think I was making it easier for you to find some other guy.”

“Except you made it impossible. You’ve ruined me for anyone else.”

I lean in and touch my lips to his, and it’s both unbearably sweet and scorchingly sexy. I push on his chest until he’s lying on his back, then climb on top of him.

“But that’s behind us now. You’re all mine,” I say, running my hands over him.

“I’m all yours.” He pulls my hips down to his, rocking into me with a groan.

I rub against him, letting the friction drive us both even crazier. The Pacific blue of his eyes has darkened to stormy Atlantic, and his lids are heavy. Then we’re kissing again, full, deep, open-mouthed kisses, trying to consume each other. I press myself against him, wanting more of everything—his skin, his scent, his warmth, his hard muscles against my softness.

“You’re killing me,” he says, his breath ragged.

“You’ve created a monster,” I whisper in his ear.

Rolling off him, I pull out the top dresser drawer. Inside is a packet of lube, a roll of breath mints, and a condom.

I grab the condom and get back on the bed.

“Are you sure? We don’t have to—”

“Casey Grant, do I look like I’m not sure?”

His laugh is shaky. “No.”

“What should I do with this?”

“Just put it somewhere I can reach it.”

I set it on the nightstand. “You do want this, don’t you?” I ask. “I don’t mean to rush you.”

“Are you kidding? I’ve been waiting for this my whole life.”

“You’ve only known me—”

He silences me with a soul-churning kiss. “My whole life,” he repeats, grabbing the hem of my shirt. “Take this off.”

I pull my shirt and bra off as fast as possible so I can watch Casey do the same. Sitting up, he grabs his hem, his abs tightening with the movement. My insides tighten in response.

“I always thought I’d be nervous,” I say, running my hands down the smooth golden skin of his chest to the ridges of his abs.

“I’m nervous.”

“What? You can’t be.”

A flush deepens his already high color. “I want to make it good for you.”

I always figured he wanted to get in my pants, and that was that. Once again he’s humbled me.

“There’s no other way for it to be with us,” I tell him. “I love everything you do.”

“And you love me.”

“And I love you.”

Without warning, he spins us so that I’m on my back and he’s over me.

“And I love you,” he says, his eyes burning into mine, and then his mouth is on my breast and I’m arcing off the bed. I thread my fingers into his soft hair and give in to the pleasure rocketing through me. Everything’s erotic—the sheets against my skin, his breath feathering over me.

Lifting my hips, I push my hands between us and unsnap my jeans, my lust for him making me frenzied. He sits back on his heels and pulls them down my hips, watching me through heavy-lidded eyes. Hooking my thumbs in my underwear, I push those off, too.

He cups his erection through his jeans, a flush darkening his cheekbones, and I’m filled with a wild surge of pride and power at what I do to him. Then he’s back on top of me and settling between my thighs.

“So beautiful,” he murmurs, almost to himself, his hands skimming down my belly and over my hips.

“You’re not naked,” I pant. “I want you to be naked.”

“I will be, just not yet. I’m holding on by a thread here.”

“It’s okay. You don’t need to—”

He stops me with a kiss. “Listen to the teacher,” he says slipping down between my legs.

“Casey,” I gasp, but he’s already spreading me open, licking into me soft and slow.

Sounds pour out of me, sighs first, then low moans that grow louder as he winds me tighter. I push up into him, and he gives a dark laugh and holds my hips tighter.

“Please,” I beg him, and he gives me more, applying more pressure, licking deeper.

My hands are in his hair, holding him to me, and I’m gasping for air and reaching for my climax. My thighs tremble like I’ve run for miles. He slips a finger in me, and the pressure of it added to what he’s doing with his mouth pushes me over that sweet edge, and then I’m shuddering and crying out for him.

He holds me through it, and I lay there for a minute with my eyes closed, coming back to earth. The bed moves, and when I open my eyes, he’s kneeling next to me, the condom in his hand.

“Can I put it on?” I ask, reaching for it.

“That’s probably not a good idea.”

“I haven’t even touched you yet,” I say, sulking. “Can’t I just—”

“You can touch me all you want after this. Trust me.”

Kneeling between my legs, he rips open the condom and rolls it down. His eyes are dark again, but then he smiles at me, and it’s so sweet and tender, tears sting my eyes. I smile up at him and wrap my arms around his neck.

I’m crazy wet, but still tight, and there’s a painful stretch as he pushes into me. I gasp and he stops, braced on trembling arms, his chest heaving. I make myself relax and he slips farther in.

He groans but doesn’t move. “You all right, babe?”

I nod. “I’m okay.” And then I smile at him, because it’s finally happening—everything I wanted but was sure I couldn’t have.

His eyes are on mine as he starts to move again, and there’s so much love shining in them, I can’t believe I missed it all this time.

“God, you feel so good,” he groans.

Having him inside me is incredible. Not entirely comfortable yet, but incredible all the same. His body all around me, his beautiful weight, his muscles moving under my hands. But I still need him closer. I curl my fingers into his shoulders and draw my knees up, taking him deeper.

“More, Casey.”

He slides a hand under my ass and tips me into a sweeter angle, then pulls out and thrusts again, slow but deep. I arch my neck and raise my hips to meet him. Never in all my fantasies did I understand what it would be like to have him inside me. I feel him in my skin, my hair, my toes, surging in my blood, in my heart.

His thrusts get faster and less rhythmic. My body opens even more and takes him in fully, a glimmer of how it will be with him. He surges into me one last time and shudders in my arms.

I’m somehow drowsy and wide awake at the same time, sated and needy, safe and cherished and stupefied. My arms stay around him, holding him to me.

He nuzzles my neck. “Are you okay?”

“Better than okay. I’m—” I break off as tears well up and leak out the corners of my eyes.

“Hannah…”

“I’m just happy, and a little overwhelmed.”

He kisses my tears. “I know what you mean.”

He rolls away to ditch the condom in the bathroom, then comes back and takes me in his arms again.

“I know that wasn’t officially a lesson,” I say, “but if you have any pointers, you can tell me now before we do it again. I can handle constructive criti—”

He stops me with a kiss. I think it’s meant as an expedient way to shut me up, but it’s so good I shift closer and kiss him back. I can’t stop touching him—the smooth skin on the inside of his arm, the rougher skin of his jaw.

He pulls the covers up over us, sealing us in. “Does this mean you’ll be seen in public with me?”

“Of course it does. Everything’s different now.” I run my hands up his back, pulling him closer. “I’m going to try really hard not to climb all over you when other people are around.”

“Don’t try too hard. I know I won’t.”

“We get to spend next semester having crazy college sex, right?”

“Hell, yeah.” He looks like he wants to say something else.

“What?”

“I was kind of hoping we could also have crazy medical school sex.”

“That would be amazing,” I say, hope and happiness clogging my throat. “But I don’t know where I’ll get in.”

“I have a 4.0, so I have a good shot of getting into an architecture program wherever I want. I figure I could find an internship near where you’re going and apply for grad school year after next.”

“You’d do that?”

“That and a lot more, Hannah Bloom.”

“This could really work.”

He rolls back on top of me, and there’s that wicked grin I know so well. “It already is.”

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