Boca Raton, Florida 2007
Shayna checked into the hotel in Boca Raton. She tipped the bellman then opened the thick drapes and looked outside. This place is really something. It seems like all of the stucco buildings are the same shade of Pepto Bismol pink. It looks like a flamingo threw up here.
She smiled and thought, One thing about Florida . . . the blinding sunshine has a way of making all my problems seem less pressing. At least for the moment.
Shayna booked the hotel for the first night of her stay so that she could surprise her mother, Anna, the following morning. But she knew that her mother would never let her stay in a hotel. Her parents would insist that she stay with them for the rest of her trip. After all, they’d been begging her to come and visit for years.
It’s hard to believe that I’m thirty and this is the first time I’ve ever stayed in a hotel alone. I’m a little nervous. I kind of can’t wait until morning when I can go to my parents’ house. I’m starving. I would prefer to order room service but I guess I probably should take Linda’s advice and get out a little. I’ll be brave and go down to the hotel bar. I can have a quick bite and a couple of drinks. Hopefully, it will soothe my nerves about leaving the shop for a couple of days and about going through the divorce.
Instead of retreating to the privacy of a table, Shayna forced herself to sit at the bar.
I guess it makes me look more approachable. And I should want to meet someone, right?
But she didn’t want to meet anyone. She felt awkward and very alone.
“Hi, what can I get you?” A handsome bartender with dark hair and deep-set dark eyes asked.
“Can I order food at the bar or just drinks?”
“Anything you want, my dear,” he said smiling.
“Great. I’ll have a chicken Caesar salad and a cosmopolitan.”
“Coming right up.”
He brought the drink first and Shayna sipped it through the straw. The alcohol warmed her throat and she began to feel a little calmer. She had been married for ten years and in those ten years, she could count on her fingers the number of times she’d eaten out alone. And it had never been dinner, only quick, on-the-go lunches. Now here she was in a strange city, at a bar no less, feeling empty, lost, and foolish.
If I am honest with myself, I have to admit that I really don’t love being in business. It’s a lot of headaches. But what I do love is the money and security it gives me. But there goes that damn clock again, ticking. I’m afraid if I don’t have a child now, it will be too late. I have to admit that there is a part of me that would love to have a child of my own, a little baby to hold in my arms. When I see women with kids, I am envious. I just don’t know why I am so afraid to do it. Let’s face it, it could be because the beauty business is an image business. And that makes me worry about losing my figure. And I’m also afraid to lose my independence. But maybe Linda is right; there are options. Maybe I actually could work things out by working part-time. Joel and I could have the baby. I would hire a manager to make up the extra hours so Linda wouldn’t have to take it all on herself. And then sometimes, I wish I could just get over Joel. But I know him well and I know if I called him and asked him, he would say he still loved me. The worst part of it is, I love him too. Oh, I just don’t know what I want. If I could decide what I wanted and be confident in my choice, then I could go forward from there. Life was a lot simpler before I became so successful at the shop.
Shayna sighed.
I am just so damn confused. I don’t know what to do. God, please, give me a sign, she whispered, putting her head in her hands. Shayna was not a religious person. She was born to Jewish parents but she didn’t follow any religion. If anyone asked, she would say she was spiritual. She believed in God.
“Hi.” It was a man’s voice.
Shayna looked two seats to her left to see a tall, striking fellow. His skin was tanned to a golden hue. He looked healthy and strong with his blond hair and white shirt. He smiled at her and his sky-blue eyes twinkled.
She cleared her throat. “Hi,” she answered. It had been a long time since she’d thought about any man in a romantic sense other than Joel. However, this tanned Floridian certainly was good-looking. And maybe Linda was right. Maybe she did need to get out more and have fun.
“Hi, my name is Matt.”
“Shayna.”
“That’s an unusual name.”
“I guess it is. It means beautiful in Yiddish.”
“Well, you certainly are. Beautiful.”
Shayna smiled.
“Business or pleasure?” he asked.
“I’m sorry?”
“Are you here on business or pleasure?”
“Oh, I’m here to visit my mother and grandmother. I live in Chicago.”
“Chicago. Now that’s a cool city. What do you do in Chicago?”
“I own a hair salon. You?”
“I’m a financial consultant. I had a meeting with a client here at the bar, but he canceled.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. If he hadn’t canceled I would never have met you.”
What do I do now? What do I say? I feel so awkward, Shayna thought.
“Looks like your drink is getting low. Next one’s on me,” Matt said.
“Thanks, but one is my limit.”
“Come on, let loose. You’re on vacation.”
“Maybe you’re right,” she said and ordered another drink. “Do you live here?” she asked.
“Miami.”
“Nice.”
“Yeah, I like it. Boca is an older crowd. I live in South Beach. Have you ever been there?”
“Me? No.”
“It’s fun. You’d like it. Lots of bars and restaurants. Tons of nightlife.”
“Sounds like downtown Chicago.”
“Yeah, probably pretty similar.”
They talked for a little over an hour, during which time Shayna had another drink. She was feeling relaxed and more confident. Matt was attentive and full of flattering compliments. It made her realize that Joel had been so busy with work that he had started taking her for granted. She couldn’t remember the last time Joel had hung on her every word.
Ten years of marriage makes both people comfortable, I guess.
However, Matt was anything but laid back. He acted as if he were in awe of her and that made Shayna feel special. Matt looked in her eyes when he spoke to her. He held her hand and massaged her palm.
“Excuse me, I’m going to the ladies’ room. I’ll be right back,” Shayna said.
“Sure.”
When Shayna got to the ladies’ room, she called Linda and told her everything.
“I met a guy at the hotel bar.”
“Good. That’s awesome. Is he cute?”
“Yes, very.”
“Better looking than Joel?”
“Yeah, I suppose so.”
“See, so Joel is not the only man on earth. You going to go to bed with him?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t been with another guy ever. Joel was my first.”
“I think you should do it. You know what they say. The best way to get over one guy is to get under a new one.”
“Linda, that’s so vulgar.”
“Yep, but it works.”
“I guess. I have to go. He’s waiting.”
“Call me tomorrow and let me know what happened,” Linda said. “And would you please try to have fun?”
“Yes, I promise.”
“Talk to you tomorrow.”
Shayna returned to the table.
“Would you like another drink?” Matt asked.
“No, not for me,” she laughed. “I am way over my limit.”
“You only had a few drinks.”
“Why don’t we go up to my room and have a cup of coffee?” Shayna said.
She was nervous, but she was a single woman now and she felt like she needed to do something to break out of her fear of dating.
“Sure, I’d like that,” he said.
They took the elevator to room number 440. Shayna opened the door. Matt followed her inside. Her heart was beating wildly.
I haven’t even thought about dating another man in ten years, she thought. Matt put his arms on her shoulders and pulled her to him. He kissed her. Then he kissed her again. Shayna glanced at the bed and at the stranger who held her in his arms. She tasted his lips, so unfamiliar. The smell of his cologne was different too. His hair touching her forehead felt intrusive, and as much as she yearned to be a liberated woman, she couldn’t do it.
“I’m sorry,” she said pushing him away. “You should go.”
“Did I do something wrong?”
“No, not at all. It’s me. I’m really sorry. I’m going through a divorce and I guess I am just not ready.”
He shrugged his shoulders, looking confused. “Are you sure?”
“Yes, please, go.”
After Matt walked out the door, Shayna fell on the bed.
I just couldn’t. I guess I’m old fashioned but all I could think of was Joel. My sweet, damn, stupid husband. I know every inch of his body like it was my own. I know his stubborn but brilliant mind too. Hell, I can’t even imagine being naked with another man. What am I going to do after this divorce is final?
Shayna felt tears form behind her eyes. She picked up her phone and dialed Joel’s number, but hung up before the phone rang.