“Frau Mahler!” a gruff voice called to her as she tried to slip unseen to her workstation.
She turned to see her supervisor, Herr Meier, standing two steps away like a towering dragon with his arms crossed over his chest. “Where have you been all morning?”
“I’m sorry, just when I arrived here for my shift this morning, a…” She stopped, deciding she shouldn’t tell anyone the Gestapo had blackmailed her into working for them. Her mind raced and she hung on to the first plausible idea: “…a policeman arrived to tell me my husband had been involved in an accident. He urged me to come with him straight away. I apologize, but I was too shocked to even remember that I should have told you.” It wasn’t difficult to look concerned about her husband’s condition. He was in Gestapo custody, after all.
Herr Meier stared her down for a moment and then seemed to deflate. “Is your husband well?”
“Considering the circumstances, yes. I’ll do everything to help him recover,” Sabine said, clasping her hands together.
“Good. If you ever need to leave again, tell me first. Our work here is very important for the war effort and must be a priority to us all. For today I will allow you to leave after filling half of your quota. But this is the first and only time, and only because your husband is a fireman.”
“Thank you, Herr Meier.” Sabine hurried to squeeze into her workstation and took up her tedious task of assembling rifles. For the first time since beginning work in the factory, she rejoiced that her job didn’t require mental effort. It gave her time to think over her bleak situation.
But whichever way she considered it, there was no way out. Werner was in the hands of the Gestapo and she had to become their informer if she wished for him to survive. A lump formed in her throat threatening to choke her. Her situation was making her desolate.
Although, what harm would it do to exchange some friendly words with Frau Klausen, and report back on noncommittal small talk? With that idea in mind, she even mustered a small smile.
The rumble in her stomach indicated lunchtime, and she ventured a glance at the clock hanging on the wall above the supervisor’s office. Two thirty p.m. Lunch break was long over. Another, stronger rumble reminded her that she’d skipped breakfast as well.
When finally, the gong sounded to indicate afternoon break, Sabine scurried to her locker, only to remember that in her hurry to visit the fire station this morning, she’d forgotten to pack lunch. Her stomach would have to continue rumbling until she returned home in the evening.
A dreadful thought. Returning home to an empty place. Knowing that Werner was somewhere in a prison cell in that awful building in Prinz-Albrecht-Strasse.
“I overheard your conversation with Herr Meier,” Frau Klausen said with a warm smile. “If there’s anything I can do, please let me know.”
Sabine stared at her with barely concealed hate. For starters you could turn yourself in to the Gestapo and tell them to let my husband go free.
Frau Klausen, though, seemed to mistake hate for grief and put a hand on Sabine’s arm saying, “I will pray for your husband.”
“He’s…alive,” Sabine stammered, pondering whether she should tell the older woman the truth. But how would that help? Instead she resigned herself to her new role as Gestapo informer and mustered a smile. “Thank you. Your kindness means a lot to me. Maybe we can talk a bit after our shift?”
Frau Klausen nodded, but sent her a suspicious glance and avoided talking to Sabine for the rest of the afternoon. Obviously she’d picked up on Sabine’s desperation to become friendly with her. Or she’d simply thought it strange that after being so standoffish the last few weeks, Sabine now wanted to be friendly all of a sudden – or she knew about the Gestapo…
Icy droplets trickled down her neck, causing her to hunch her shoulders. With nothing better to do, she fumbled for her perfect rolls and curls, trying to find some reassurance in the normality of her life. Her fingers crudely reminded her of the truly extraordinary situation, when they found only the bun made in a hurry this very morning. Tears stung at her eyes, as the revelation hit. Her entire life was shattering around her.
It was only a stupid hairdo. But this hairdo had been her last shred of hanging onto a happier life before the war. Reality had caught up with her.
After her shift she returned home, to an empty house with the ghost of Werner present in every single detail. The knowledge that he was a prisoner of the Gestapo took an iron grip around her heart, sending pangs of pain throughout her body and barely allowing her to breathe.
She brewed a cup of tea and settled on the couch, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. She sat motionless, staring at the wall with tears in her eyes until sleep finally overtook her, her dreams infested with horrid images of torture and pain. And Lily with a smile upon her face, her fancy clothes and furs telling the tale of her allegiance to the Reich. When Sabine begged her for help, Lily puffed on her cigarette in the long holder and laughed at her. “Bet you’re wishing you hadn’t called me a slut, now.”
Sabine woke with a start and reached out to her side, only to become aware that she was still half-lying on the couch. She knew she should go upstairs, but she couldn’t bear the thought of sleeping in the bed she’d shared with Werner, afraid she’d never see him again.