“Ursula, I don’t mean to overstep here, but I overheard you talking about staying here rather than visiting your aunt, as planned,” Sabine said, putting on a concerned smile.
“Mutter is just being stubborn.” Ursula put out her lower lip, a gesture that made her look like a petulant child. Stubbornness seemed to run in the family.
“No, your mother is just worried about you,” Sabine said, carefully forming the next sentence in her head. “You are so far along and so many things could go wrong at this stage.”
Ursula’s lower lip returned to its place and worry etched itself into her face. “You think so?”
Sabine nodded, hating herself for what she had to do next. Pushing through the pain and guilt she said, “Yes. I do. Usually I don’t tell people, because the wounds are still fresh, but two years ago I lost two babies within a year’s time.” A sob bubbling up in her throat interrupted her, and she took a few moments to compose herself. Not daring to look at Ursula, she was thankful that the other woman didn’t utter a word. “I…I was alone when it happened and I always ask myself if the babies could have been saved by a competent woman by my side.” That last sentence was a lie.
“Oh my God! How awful! I’m so sorry for you,” Ursula said, putting a hand on Sabine’s arm. “I feel like a klutz now, parading my happy bump in front of you.”
Tears sprung into Sabine’s eyes, but strangely enough they seemed to stem more from Ursula’s unexpected sympathy than from the grief Sabine had carried around with herself for so long. “I admit, it still hurts, but that is no reason to be jealous of you.” Of course it is! “And I really think you should go with your mother; I couldn’t stand it if…” Sabine dabbed at her eyes, before she continued. “Go visit your aunt and everything will be fine.”
Ursula’s face reflected a war with her emotions, each one fighting for dominance. Sabine waited patiently for a clue before she said, “If there is anything I can do to help or to ease your mind about why you feel you should stay here, I don’t mind. I know my being here has been difficult for you and your mother and I’d like a chance to repay your kindness.”
Ursula gave a short laugh. “Kindness? I think maybe that hasn’t always been true.” She thought for a moment and then shook her head a second time. “Thank you for the offer, but it’s just too dangerous. I couldn’t ask you to help.”
“You are about to give birth within the month. If you can do whatever it is, then I can certainly do so as well. How dangerous could it be? Please, won’t you let me help?” Sabine said, desperate to change Ursula’s mind. This might be her one and only chance to get a foot into the underground organization – if it even existed.
Ursula looked at her for a long time before she slowly nodded. “I guess maybe you could help…”
“Anything. Just tell me what you need.”
“It’s nothing, really. But if you could get an urgent message to our priest in the morning…” Ursula said with a shy smile. Sabine wanted to slap her. All this mystery and evasiveness for a simple message to a priest? What kind of Charlie Chaplin slapstick was this?
“Well, that’s not hard or dangerous. I’d be happy to deliver the message before work tomorrow morning,” Sabine answered, doing her best to keep the disappointment out of her expression.
“Pfarrer Bernau lives in the small house adjacent to his church.” Ursula took pen and paper and drew a map for Sabine with directions to the church and handed it to her, saying, “Are you sure you wouldn’t mind doing this for me?”
“Not at all. I’ll take it first thing in the morning and hand it over to Pfarrer Bernau. He should be there at that time, right?”
“Yes. He usually prepares mass in the mornings. I’ll just write down the message and slide it under your bedroom door before I go to bed…”
“Fine with me.”
Ursula gave Sabine the first real smile. “Thank you. I didn’t want to stay here all on my own, even though I’m not sure travelling in my condition is the wisest course of action.”
“Go and enjoy yourself. If nothing else, you’ll be able to get a good night’s sleep down there that isn’t disrupted by the nightly bombing raids.”
Ursula chuckled, rubbing her stomach. “A night of undisturbed sleep sounds like paradise. Thank you again for your help.”
“You’re welcome. Now, if there’s nothing else, I’m off to bed.” Sabine returned to her room, barely able to contain her excitement over this turn of events. At least now she would have something substantial to tell Lily. Although a message to a priest wasn’t the most compromising action in the world.
Soon enough sleep claimed her, and she barely cracked open half an eye when Frau Klausen and Ursula left before dawn. But then she remembered the message and jumped from her bed, scrambling to pick up the paper lying on the linoleum behind her bedroom door.
Excitement – and shame – burning up her face and ears, she glanced at the white envelope and turned it around. Nothing written anywhere. Sealed! Damn woman, wasn’t sealing an envelope proof enough that its content was illicit?
Sabine needed to read the contents of the letter before she handed it over, or else she wouldn’t have any information to give to Lily. But if the priest found out that she’d opened it, he wouldn’t trust her. What could she do?
A new envelope came to her mind and she frantically searched the kitchen, the sitting room and even the second bedroom. Entering Frau Klausen’s and Ursula’s private space felt like a crime and she had the icky feeling of someone watching her. Carefully opening drawers and closets, she found – nothing. At long last her glance fell on the small bureau in the corner of the room.
Locked! Of course, they would lock up the bureau in their own home, as if someone would come and search for their secrets. Her neck hair stood on end and she giggled hysterically at her thoughts. Obviously, someone did search the Klausens’ private room. Sabine sank onto the bed, covering her face with her hands as she realized what had become of her: a conniving treacherous snake.
With the envelope in hand, she gave up her search and walked into the kitchen to make tea before she had to leave for priest Bernau’s church. Putting a kettle of water on the stove, she pondered her options. Should she telephone Kriminalkommissar Becker and ask him what to do? A wave of disgust rolled through her body and she decided that the less she saw of him, the better.
Or… might she just open the envelope and pretend the message had come without it? The priest might well believe it…or not. Sabine gave a heavy sigh. There was no solution to her problem.
The kettle whistled, and she glanced toward the stove, a broad smile spreading across her face. Apparently, there was a solution!
After pouring some of the boiling water into a cup for her morning tea, she poured the rest into a bowl and located a dishtowel. She held the envelope over the steaming bowl of water, trapping the steam with the towel, and waited for the glue holding the flap down to loosen.
Several minutes later, she turned the envelope over and rejoiced in her accomplishment when the last bit of glue was released from the paper. Her fingers trembling with nerves, she sat back and drank from her tea first. For the first time since Werner’s disappearance, she saw a ray of hope.
Carefully, she removed the letter, making sure the envelope would look untampered with when she was done, smoothed out the message on the tabletop and began to read –
Pfarrer Bernau,
Please forgive me but I cannot attend the choir practice at your church as I’ll be travelling with my family. I apologize and look forward to attending next week.
Ursula Hermann
“She must be joking!” Sabine yelled at the empty room, balling her hands into fists. Missing a choir practice? What exactly was so important or urgent about a stupid choir practice? Even if Ursula was the soloist, it didn’t justify her allusions to people needing her.
Sabine searched the letter for hidden text, and she shook her head in despair when she didn’t find any. The renewed hope sucked out of her, she placed the letter back into the envelope and carefully sealed the flap closed.
Minutes later she left the apartment to deliver the message. Maybe the priest could shed some light on this? Or maybe Ursula’s overreaction was completely innocent and only due to her advanced stage of pregnancy?
Either way, she would have a word with Pfarrer Bernau.