The May night was warm, and daylight wouldn’t settle until way past ten p.m. Sabine decided to walk the long way home. She needed to think. The day had been one long succession of events. Guilt, relief, sorrow and pride fought an unrelenting battle in her confused heart.
She had done something despicable. No. You’ve done a long line of reprehensible acts. Thrown an innocent woman under the train to save herself, although innocent wasn’t exactly applicable. Lily would – and had – gladly sacrificed anyone in her way.
But knowledge of her rival’s faults did nothing to lift the burden of guilt from Sabine’s shoulders, and she longed to visit Pfarrer Bernau. He’d be able to set her moral compass straight, or at least he’d absolve her from her sins if she confessed. But she couldn’t visit him. The Gestapo had probably followed her, and it would only serve to attract attention to her, and the priest.
No, she had to stay put. Do as Becker had ordered. Act normal. But how did she do that when she no longer understood the meaning of the word?
Sabine took a lukewarm bath and settled onto the couch with a cup of tea. Her entire belief system lay in tatters at her feet. How could she ever have subscribed to the opinion that minding her own business was the right course of action? Hadn’t that been the most selfish way of thinking?
She fell into a troubled sleep on the couch but was awakened bright and early on Sunday morning by a loud knocking on the apartment door. She clambered to her feet, smoothing her hands over the clothing she’d fallen asleep in the night before. The knocking came again, and she hurried to open the door before it awakened the nosy neighbor, Frau Weber.
“Kriminalkommissar?” She hissed at the sight of Becker and two SS officers standing outside the door.
“May we come in?” he asked.
So he hasn’t come to arrest me. Sabine stepped aside. “Please excuse the disarray. I was too tired to tidy up last night.”
Becker stepped into the sitting room, the two SS men in their black uniforms following behind. “We captured the priest.”
Sabine suppressed a shriek.
“He’s still under interrogation but it seems he was the head of the organization.”
“The priest?” Sabine couldn’t believe her ears, sorrow about Pfarrer Bernau entering her heart. “I only met him once, but he seemed such a nice person.”
Becker glared at her. “This is the very reason why the church is a thorn in Hitler’s side. Not only do her members oppose the National Socialist ideals, but also her priests are like wolves in sheep’s clothing, misleading innocent citizens.”
For lack of an appropriate response she nodded.
“And there’s more good news,” Becker said, pleased with himself. “While Fräulein Kerber hasn’t confessed yet about her involvement with the resistance group, she has admitted to working for a variety of other interests, including the NKVD.”
“She was working for the Russians?” Sabine’s jaw fell to the floor.
“It would seem so. She had never intended to help the Reich, but only used her position for personal gain. The interloper willingly betrayed our country to the Russian secret police for a substantial amount of money.”
“What’s to become of her?” Despite all that Lily had done, Sabine still felt sorry for the other woman and hoped she’d at least be granted a fast and painless death.
“That is for the judge to decide, after we have extracted all the relevant information she possesses.” The cold steel in Becker’s voice chilled her to the bone and she didn’t even want to consider how exactly he planned to extract that information. “But Fräulein Kerber is not your problem. Neither is Frau Klausen.”
Sabine had totally forgotten about Frau Klausen and Ursula and now her stomach churned at the thought of what might happen to them. “You have arrested them, too?”
“No, they’re exonerated.” His lips pursed into an icy smile. “The priest confessed that he’d been tricking them into helping him by pretending that he worked under the authority of the housing agency, seeking to find new quarters for bombed-out victims.”
Pfarrer Bernau had sacrificed himself to save Ursula and her mother? That man was a saint. She couldn’t suppress a gasp and quickly said, “What a devious man!”
“Yes. And he’ll pay the price. As we speak my men are practicing some new techniques on him.” Becker’s devilish smile churned Sabine’s stomach. The mere sight of the odious man made her want to throw up.
She wanted to pummel her fists into his chest, pounding out every raw emotion as she demanded he let Pfarrer Bernau go free.
Observing her distress, Becker smirked and began to detail some of the torture methods used on the unfortunate souls who fell into the Gestapo’s hands. She felt dizziness unsteady her and put her hand on the drawer for support.
“You look pale, Frau Mahler, are you feeling unwell?” he said, putting a hand on her arm. It took all her self-control not to yank her arm away and upset him.
“Your descriptions…this is a lot to take in on an empty stomach,” she said.
“That’s because you’re a woman. Women are driven by emotions. They’re weak, unintelligent and irrational. But…” his face came so close to hers, she could smell his breath heavy with tobacco and see the dark speckles in his irises, “…you agree that each has to be rendered his just desserts, don’t you?”
She didn’t think anyone should be rendered torture, but with Becker’s breath brushing her face she nodded.
“Including you and your husband?”
Her eyes went wide and vomit threatened to spill into her mouth. “Me?”
“Yes.” He flashed that vile smile again, torturing her with his words. An expression of gleeful delight lined his face as he basked in her terror. “You have proven a remarkably useful agent for us and I have decided to reward you for your services to the Reich by returning your husband later today.”
“You will? Thank you!”
“Don’t thank me. We both only followed our orders. I’ll be in touch.” Becker nodded at the two SS men and together they left the apartment. Sabine followed them with shaking knees, locking and bolting the door behind them.