My life changed in a matter of minutes. Here I was ready to end everything with Karmen until she said those words I had waited for so, so long to hear. I was about to be a father. I knew that Kash hearing her say that had her heart dropping to her stomach, but I also knew that it was for sure a possibility that Karmen was pregnant with my child. I never shared with anyone, friends, family, and especially Kash, that about two months ago Karmen came to my job to bring me lunch one day and she broke down so bad I was embarrassed and actually felt sorry for her. Even though I didn’t want to stay married to her, I still cared about her wellbeing and that was what drove me to take her home that day, let her soak in a hot bath, and prepare a meal for her . I stayed that entire day making sure she was ok and we both fell asleep on the sofa. Hours later, I was awakened to Karmen in between my legs with her juicy lips wrapped around my manhood. As bad as I didn’t want to send mixed signals, I was still a man and I couldn’t turn her away. She was already in the act. From that point, one thing led to another and we ended up in our bedroom that we used to share, having sex for hours into the night.
When it was over, I left around two in the morning, leaving a note telling her I was sorry for taking advantage of her while she was so vulnerable and that it shouldn’t have happened. And that’s how she ended up pregnant with my child. Damn! I had messed up big time. I knew Kash was at my place waiting for me so she could get an explanation. Being a coward, I just wasn’t ready to give it to her. Though Karmen was indeed still my wife and I really didn’t have to explain anything I did with her, I knew that Kash deserved to know what happened and how we’d come to this point.
Immediately after hearing the news, Kash retreated to her bedroom claiming she forgot she was supposed to meet a study group. Her ass wasn’t even in school anymore so I knew the study group was an excuse to leave the house so she and I could meet up, but I was still here with Karmen, and Kash was blowing me up. She was sending nasty text after nasty text and calling non-stop, making me finally put my phone on silent before Karmen became suspicious.
Sitting out on the back patio, Karmen sat in a lounge chair and I sat in the one next to her. Her face was glowing and I could tell she was excited about being pregnant. I thought she was putting on because I knew she didn’t desire to be a mother right now, but the glow that was all over her showed she was ecstatic about having a baby. I had never seen this side of my wife, and how could I forget the conversation we had? She seemed like a new person. A person I could see myself doing life with, but what about what I was building with Kash? She was my shoulder during my toughest times, my lover, but most of all, we had become close friends. I trusted Kash with my life. We got each other. We were in sync. There was no way I could just throw that away on a hope that my wife had changed. I wanted to believe this newfound Karmen, but I still didn’t trust her. All her late nights away from home and her funky attitude. That shit just didn’t go away.
“What are you thinking about?” Karmen tilted her head with her eyes on me.
“Everything.” I lowered my head into the palms of my hands.
“Anything I can help you with? I know it’s a lot to digest. Who would’ve guessed we’d make a baby the day you slept with me out of pity.” She scoffed.
“It wasn’t pity.” I lifted my head to look at her.
“Oh, it was indeed pity. I had lost you, but look what God did to bring us back together.”
I exhaled loudly. leaning back to relax in the chair.
“God. huh?”
“Yes, God. We were about to end this thing. We were supposed to be doing life together but we lost track of our vows and the world got ahold of us and choked the life out of us. This baby is what will get us back on track. I feel it in my gut, Don.” She glided her hand over her flat belly.
“Listen, I don’t want to give you false hope. You know I’m happy about the baby but us, I’m not sure about. We had a rough patch, as you like to call it, but I feel like it was more than that. I actually filed for divorce Karmen, and we can’t pretend that that stuff never happened because now you’re pregnant. And I’d be a fool not to ask you, if this baby is even mine. I mean, Kar, you stayed away from home many nights and I didn’t know where you were nor could I reach you. Were you seeing someone else?”
Noticing her eyes filling at the brim, I scooted to the edge of my seat facing my wife. I in no way intended to hurt her feelings, but we needed to keep it real with each other. Babies never had and never would fix brokenness, so for a woman or man to think otherwise was foolish.
“My bad. I never wanted to hurt you. I’m just trying to be reasonable. I’ve agreed to move back in so I can make sure you and the baby are ok and to make sure I don’t miss anything, but we can’t deny that our marriage is over Kar.” I placed my hand on her knee and she covered her hand with it.
Allowing the tears to fall from her eyes, I used my free hand to swipe them away. She smiled. “I know what you’re saying is the truth, but can we at least try? I mean, you’ll be here, so why not give us a fair chance for the baby’s sake? And if you still feel that way in a few months then I’ll let you go. But just so you know, I have never slept with another man the entire time we have been married. I promise you that.” Our eyes met and I believed her.
I saw it in her eyes. She was hurt that there was a possibility that she and I wouldn’t be together, but she had come to grips with the fact that we may have to accept co-parenting. How could I turn her down? It was a fair offer. An offer and a chance our child deserved. He or she deserved us to give our marriage a fair fight.
Shaking my head in agreement, she leaned forward placing her lips on top of mine. Not fighting it, I reciprocated the kiss. I missed my wife and I hadn’t realized it until this very moment when our mouths connected. Even the night we conceived our child, I only allowed things to go as far as they did because I felt sorry for her that day and plus, she had always been the shit when it came to giving head, but this right here and now was different.
Now all I had to do was break the news to Kash that I was giving my marriage another chance for the baby.