MANCHESTER CITY

‘Blue moon, you saw me standing alone.’

City fans’ anthem

‘This time next year, Rodney, we’ll be millionaires.’

DEREK TROTTER Only Fools and Horses (I know it’s set in London – wait and see)

As you’ll find out, the vast majority of West Ham fans hate their swanky new stadium, for many reasons. Man City fans share a similar traditional working-class demographic but have long ago made their peace with the move from a ‘proper’ old football stadium with its old-fashioned ‘robust’* atmosphere, because not only are the seats more comfortable but they have had nothing but success since they moved from Maine Road to the Etihad.

Not only that, but Sheikh Mansour and the Abu Dhabi United Group, who own them, have invested millions into regenerating an economically deprived area, while the London Stadium is surrounded mainly by concrete and a couple of craft-beer and posh hot-dog stalls. My guess is that most of the complaints from West Ham fans will disappear when the area is thriving and the team are successful. Don’t hold your breath.

Much has been said of the mega-millions of oil money poured into City in pursuit of the Champions League. Yes, it has shattered any romantic notion that the Premier League is a level playing field, and yes, they have tested the definition of Financial Fair Play in their desperate quest to win the Champions League, but unlike many, Sheikh Mansour and the others have shown themselves to be remarkably sympathetic to the context of the club and their responsibilities to the people of the light blue half of the City.

It is undeniable, though, that their ability to lure the best players and coaches in the world has created a mini-billionaires playground at the top of the Premier League; and before we get too romantic about Liverpool’s sparkling football, let’s not forget they spent £596 million on sparkling players to achieve it.

The rest of us can only console ourselves that we support our local team, a team that will scrap, battle and harry for points against the bigger boys while we sing our hearts out so we can at least brag that we have retained our pride and passion.* And, in truth, many City fans say the same thing. For every City fan who has ‘Ag … uer … ro’ as his ring tone, there will be a hundred who tell you that their favourite ever game was the 1999 play-off final at Wembley when they were 2-0 down to Gillingham in the 89th minute and scored twice to take it to a victorious penalty shoot-out. And that was the League One play-off final.

All I can say is that Wembley must have Tardis-like qualities to fit the amount of City fans who claim to have been there that day, because it is a remarkable quality of us all that even as the captain hoists a trophy into the air, some of us will remember the days when we were shit. Although, God knows, I’m hoping not to give the bad old days when Palace were shit a second thought if only one of our captains would hurry up and lift a bloody trophy.

I don’t begrudge City a bit, partly because I haven’t met a City fan I didn’t like, but partly because I don’t have to come to terms with the fact that my club is, as journalist Simon Hattenstone said, the ‘media-friendly face of repressive government’. But you could argue that their ownership of a football club actually helps to highlight the human rights issues in the UAE. I’m just glad that the only thing I have to face is that the chairman of Crystal Palace supported Brexit. Back to the game.

That play-off final was arguably the first step towards the glory to come, but there had always been a bit of glory about City, a bit of swagger, a bit of otherness that came from not being United. The city of Liverpool still prides itself that their club rivalry is a friendly one – ‘we all travelled to the cup final on the same train yadda yadda’. The city of Manchester makes no such pretence. Their games were often marred by violence, none more so than after the last game of the 1973/74 season, when United legend Denis Law was seeing out his career at City, and reluctantly scored the goal against his old club that sealed their relegation. Except it didn’t. United would have gone down anyway, but the sight of a forlorn and tearful Denis Law turning away from his celebrating teammates in light blue is still heartbreaking.

There is still very much an edge in Manchester derbies, which is a little to do with City being the top dogs for once and a lot to do with which is the real Manchester club. And if Salford City ever get to the Prem they can fight with United fans about who is the real Salford club.

The club that became Man City was St Mark’s Church in 1880, and most people agree it was the idea of the curate’s wife as a way of keeping kids off the street in a very deprived area. Their kit was all-black with a large white Maltese cross on it. Which, depending who you believe, was because of St Mark, or because of links with local Freemasons. It just proves the usual: football fans will believe any old bollocks rather than accepting that we just don’t know!

In 1887, wanting to represent a bigger area, they became Ardwick AFC and in 1894, thinking even bigger, they became Manchester City FC in a bid to represent the whole city. Newton Heath didn’t become Manchester United till 1902, so that’s one for the bragging rights. In 1904 they won the FA Cup, becoming, as the official club website pointedly puts it, ‘the first Manchester side to win a major trophy’. Take that United, another one for the bragging rights.

In truth, and if it was possible to whisper in writing, then I would: United have always had that little more to brag about. But not in crowds: City’s have always been massive too. And not in kit: City’s light blue† has always been way cooler. But in achievement, United have won just that little more. And while City spent part of the 1990s outside the top flight, United were winning it year after year. Until City win the Champions League a couple of times, they will still be playing catch-up.

But, here’s the thing, City fans have always appeared to be having just a bit more fun. They are just that little bit more wry in their humour, more aware that other clubs have history; so far, the City fans I know are still taking their success with a pinch of salt, aware perhaps that money comes and money can go.

Fans like Ena, a glamorous lady in her late thirties (we settled on that when I checked it was okay to mention her in the book) who I met when I was filming and has sent me regular anti-United messages ever since. She’s properly posh, but she is a City fan home and away, including Europe; and every time they have played at Selhurst since we met, she appears in the Pawsons Arms with her entourage, having made sure I kept her a parking space.

On another Match of the Day 2 trip there I spent the day with Ricky Hatton, former light-welterweight champion of the world, starting at his house, which, as you would expect, is full of the most amazing boxing memorabilia. And, as you may not expect, full of the most amazing Only Fools And Horses memorabilia. Ricky is as proud of his original Del Boy cap as he is of his original Muhammad Ali dressing gown. His pride and joy, though, is an actual three-wheeler Trotters Independent Trading Co van used in the series. He offered to drive me to the game in it, until his wife mentioned it wasn’t actually insured. It would have been a really quirky way to arrive at a modern, state-of-the-art stadium that still somehow manages to retain a bit of the spirit of the long-gone Maine Road, the site of which, incidentally, Ricky insisted we visit.

Why You Shouldn’t Support Them

■ Seriously, you can’t all have been at Wembley for that play-off game.

■ When they moved to the new ground, they didn’t name one of the ends after legendary player Colin Bell.

■ No one should have a manager as cool as Guardiola. It’s not fair.