“Whose turn next?” Maryanne asked. She and her two friends were sitting in the middle of her living room floor, having a “pity party.”
“I will,” Carol Riverside volunteered eagerly. She ceremonially plucked a tissue from the box that rested in the centre of their small circle, next to the lit candle. Their second large bottle of cheap wine was nearly empty, and the three of them were feeling no pain.
“For years I’ve wanted to write a newspaper column of my own,” Carol said, squaring her shoulders and hauling in a huge breath. “But it’s not what I thought it’d be like. I ran out of ideas for things to write about after the first week.”
“Ah,” Maryanne sighed sympathetically.
“Ah,” Barbara echoed.
“That’s not all,” Carol said sadly. “I never knew the world was so full of critics. No one seems to agree with me. I—I didn’t know Seattle had so many cantankerous readers. I try, but it’s impossible to make everyone happy. What happens is that some of the people like me some of the time and all the rest hate everything I write.” She glanced up. “Except the two of you, of course.”
Maryanne nodded her head so hard she nearly toppled over. She spread her hands out at either side in an effort to maintain her balance. The wine made her yawn loudly.
Apparently in real distress, Carol dabbed at her eyes. “Being a columnist is hard work and nothing like I’d always dreamed.” The edges of her mouth turned downward. “I don’t even like writing anymore,” she sobbed.
“Isn’t that a pity!” Maryanne cried, ritually tossing her tissue into the centre of the circle. Barbara followed suit, and then they both patted Carol gently on the back.
Carol brightened once she’d finished. “I don’t know what I’d do without the two of you. You and Betty are my very best friends in the whole world,” she announced.
“Barbara,” Maryanne corrected. “Your very best friend’s name is Barbara.”
The three of them looked at each other and burst into gales of laughter. Maryanne hushed them by waving her hands. “Stop! We can’t allow ourselves to become giddy. A pity party doesn’t work if all we do is laugh. We’ve got to remember this is sad and serious business.”
“Sad and serious,” Barbara agreed, sobering. She grabbed a fresh tissue and clutched it in her hand, waiting for the others to share their sorrows and give her a reason to cry.
“Whose idea was the wine?” Maryanne wanted to know, taking a quick sip.
Carol blushed. “I thought it would be less fattening than the chocolate ice-cream bars you planned to serve.”
“Hey,” Barbara said, narrowing her eyes at Maryanne. “You haven’t said anything about your problem.”
Maryanne suddenly found it necessary to remove lint from her jeans. Sharing what disturbed her most was a little more complicated than being disappointed in her job or complaining about fingernails that cracked all too easily, as Barbara had done. She hadn’t sold a single article since she’d quit the paper, or even received a positive response to one of her queries. But worst of all she was falling in love with Nolan. He felt something for her, too—she knew that—but he was fighting her every step of the way. Fighting her and fighting himself.
He was attracted to her, he couldn’t deny it, although he’d tried to, more than once. When they were alone together, the tension seemed to throb between them.
He was battling the attraction so hard he’d gone as far as arranging a date for her with another man. Since the evening they’d met, Nolan had insulted her, harangued her and lectured her. He’d made it plain that he didn’t want her around. And yet there were times he sought out her company. He argued with her at every opportunity, took it upon himself to be her guardian, and yet…
“Maryanne?” Carol said, studying her with concern. “What’s wrong?”
“Nolan Adams,” she whispered. Lifting her wineglass, she took a small swallow, hoping that would give her the courage to continue.
“I should have guessed,” Carol muttered, frowning. “From the moment you moved in here, next door to that madman, I just knew he’d cause you nothing but problems.”
Her friend’s opinion of Nolan had never been high and Maryanne had to bite back the urge to defend him.
“Tell us everything,” Barbara said, drawing up her knees and leaning against the sofa.
“There isn’t much to tell.”
“He’s the one who got you into this craziness in the first place, remember?” Carol pointed out righteously—as if Maryanne needed reminding. Carol then turned to Barbara and began to explain to the older woman how it had all started. “Nolan wrote a derogatory piece about Maryanne in his column a while back, implying she was a spoiled debutante, and she took it to heart and decided to prove him wrong.”
“He didn’t mean it. In fact, he’s regretted every word of that article.” This time Maryanne did feel obliged to defend him. As far as she was concerned, all of that was old business, already resolved. It was the unfinished business, the things happening between them now, that bothered her the most.
The denial. The refusal on both their parts to accept the feelings they shared. Only a few days earlier, Maryanne had tried to convince Nolan he wasn’t her type, that nothing about them was compatible. He’d been only too eager to agree.
But they’d been drawn together, virtually against their wills, by an attraction so overwhelming, so inevitable, they were powerless against it. Their sensual and emotional awareness of each other seemed more intense every time they met. This feeling couldn’t be anything except love.
“You’re among friends, so tell us everything,” Barbara pressed, handing Maryanne the entire box of tissues. “Remember, I’ve known Nolan for years, so nothing you say is going to shock me.”
“For one thing, he’s impossible,” Maryanne whispered, finding it difficult to express her thoughts.
“He deserves to be hanged from the closest tree,” Carol said scornfully.
“And at the same time he’s wonderful,” Maryanne concluded, ignoring Carol’s comment.
“You’re not…” Carol paused, her face tightening as if she was having trouble forming the words. “You don’t mean to suggest you’re falling in—” she swallowed
“—love with him, are you?”
“I don’t know.” Maryanne crumpled the soggy tissue. “But I think I might be.”
“Oh, no,” Carol cried, covering her mouth with both hands, “you’ve got to do something quick. A man like Nolan Adams eats little girls like you for breakfast. He’s cynical and sarcastic and—”
“Talented and generous,” Maryanne finished for her.
“You’re not thinking clearly. It probably has something to do with that fever you had. You’ve got to remember the facts. Nolan insulted you in print, seriously insulted you, and then tried to make up for it. You’re mistaking that small attack of conscience for something more—which could be dangerous.” Awkwardly, Carol rose to her feet and started pacing.
“He’s probably one of the most talented writers I’ve ever read,” Maryanne continued, undaunted by her friend’s concerns. “Every time I read his work, I can’t help being awed.”
“All right,” Carol said, “I’ll concede he does possess a certain amount of creative talent, but that doesn’t change who or what he is. Nolan Adams is a bad-tempered egotistical self-centred…grouch.”
“I hate to say this,” Barbara said softly, shaking her head, “but Carol’s right. Nolan’s been eating at Mom’s Place for as long as I’ve worked there, and that’s three years. I feel I know him better than you do, and he’s everything Carol says. But,” she said thoughtfully, “underneath it all, there’s more to him. Oh, he’d like everyone to believe he’s this macho guy. He plays that role to the hilt, but after you’ve been around him awhile, you can tell it’s all a game to him.”
“I told you he’s wonderful!” Maryanne exclaimed.
“The man’s a constant,” Carol insisted. “Constantly in a bad mood, constantly making trouble, constantly getting involved in matters that are none of his business. Maryanne here is the perfect example. He should never have written that column about her.” Carol plopped back down and jerked half a dozen tissues from the box in quick succession. She handed them to Maryanne. “You’ve got blinders on where he’s concerned. Take it from me, a woman can’t allow herself to become emotionally involved with a man she plans to change.”
“I don’t want to change Nolan.”
“You don’t?” Carol echoed, her voice low and disbelieving. “You mean to say you like him as he is?”
“You just don’t know him the way I do,” Maryanne said. “Nolan’s truly generous. Did either of you know he’s become sort of a father figure to the teenagers in this neighborhood? He’s their friend in the very best sense. He keeps tabs on them and makes sure no one gets involved in drugs or is lured into gang activities. The kids around here idolize him.”
“Nolan Adams does that?” Carol sounded skeptical. She arched her brows as though she couldn’t completely trust Maryanne’s observations.
“When Barbara told him I was coming down with a virus, he came over to check on me and—”
“As well he should!” Barbara declared. “He was the one who gave you that germ in the first place.”
“I’m not entirely sure I caught it from him.”
Carol and Barbara exchanged a look. Slowly each shook her head, and then all three shared a warm smile.
“I think we might be too late,” Barbara said theatrically, speaking from the side of her mouth.
“She’s showing all the signs,” Carol agreed solemnly.
“You’re right, I fear,” Barbara responded in kind. “She’s already in love with him.”
“Good grief, no,” Carol wailed, pressing her hands to her mouth. “Say it isn’t so. She’s too young and vulnerable.”
“It’s a pity, such a pity.”
“I can’t help but agree. Maryanne is much too sweet for Nolan Adams. I just hope he appreciates her.”
“He won’t,” Carol muttered, reverting to her normal voice, “but then no man ever fully appreciates a woman.”
“It’s such a pity men act the way they do.” Barbara said in a sad voice.
“Some men,” Maryanne added.
Carol and Barbara dabbed their eyes and solemnly tossed the used tissues into the growing heap in the middle of their circle.
The plan had been to gather all the used tissues and ceremonially dump them in the toilet, flush their “pity pot”, and then celebrate all the good things in their lives.
The idea for this little party had been an impromptu one of Maryanne’s on a lonely Friday night. She’d been feeling blue and friendless and decided to look for a little innocent fun. She’d phoned Carol and learned she was a weekend widow; her husband had gone fishing with some cronies. Barbara had thought the idea was a good one herself, since she’d just broken her longest fingernail and was in the mood for a shoulder to cry on.
A pity party seemed just the thing to help three lonely women make it through a bleak Friday night.
* * *
Maryanne awoke Saturday morning with a humdinger of a headache. Wine and the ice cream they’d had at the end of the evening definitely didn’t mix.
If her head hadn’t been throbbing so painfully, she might have recognized sooner that her apartment had no heat. Her cantankerous radiator was acting up again. It did that some mornings, but she’d always managed to coax it back to life with a few well-placed whacks. The past few days had been unusually cold for early November—well below freezing at night.
She reached for her robe and slippers, bundling herself up like a December baby out in her first snowstorm. Cupping her hands over her mouth, she blew until a frosty mist formed.
A quickly produced cup of coffee with two extra-strength aspirin took the edge off her headache. Maryanne shivered while she slipped into jeans, sweatshirt and a thick winter coat. She suspected she resembled someone preparing to join an Arctic expedition.
She fiddled with the radiator, twisting the knobs and slamming her hand against the side, but the only results were a couple of rattles and a hollow clanking.
Not knowing what else to try, she got out her heavy cast-iron skillet and banged it against the top of the rad in hopes of reviving the ageing pipes.
The noise was deafening, vibrating through the room like a jet aircraft crashing through the sound barrier. If that wasn’t enough, Maryanne’s entire body began to quiver, starting at her arm and spreading outward in a rippling effect that caused her arms and legs to tremble.
“What the hell’s going on over there?” Nolan shouted from the other side of the wall. He didn’t wait for her to answer and a couple of seconds later came barreling through her front door, wild-eyed and dishevelled.
“What… Where?” He was carrying a baseball bat, and stalked to the middle of her apartment, scanning the interior for what Maryanne could only assume were invaders.
“I don’t have any heat,” she announced, tucking the thin scarf more tightly around her ears.
Nolan blinked. She’d apparently woken him from a sound sleep. He was barefoot and dressed in pyjama bottoms, and although he wore a shirt, it was unbuttoned, revealing a broad muscular chest dusted with curly black hair.
“What’s with you? Are you going to a costume party?”
“Believe me, this is no party. I’m simply trying to keep warm.”
His gaze lowered to the heavy skillet in her hand. “Do you plan to cook on that radiator?”
“I might if I could get it to work. In case you hadn’t noticed, there isn’t any heat in this place.”
Nolan set the baseball bat aside and moved to the far wall to look at the radiator. “What’s wrong with it?”
How like a man to ask stupid questions! If Maryanne had known what was wrong with it, she wouldn’t be standing there shivering, with a scarf swaddling her face like an old-time remedy for toothache.
“How in heaven’s name am I supposed to know?” she answered testily.
“What went on here last night, anyway? A wake?”
She glanced at the mound of tissues and shrugged. He was scanning the area as if it were a crime scene and he should take caution not to stumble over a dead body.
Walking across the living room, he picked up the two empty wine bottles and held them aloft for her inspection, pretending to be shocked.
“Very funny.” She put the skillet down and removed the bottles from his hands, to be deposited promptly in the garbage.
“So you had a party and I wasn’t invited.” He made it sound as though he’d missed the social event of the year.
Maryanne sighed loudly. “If you must know, Carol, Barbara and I had a pity party.”
“A what? You’re kidding, right?” He didn’t bother to hide his mocking grin.
“Never mind.” She should’ve realized he’d only poke fun at her. “Can you figure out how to get this thing working before the next ice age?”
“Here, give me a shot at it.” He gently patted the top of the radiator as he knelt in front of it. “Okay, ol’ Betsy, we’re trusting you to be good.” He began fiddling with knobs, still murmuring ridiculous endearments—like a cowboy talking to his horse.
“It doesn’t do any good to talk to an inanimate object,” she advised primly, standing behind him.
“You want to do this?”
“No,” she muttered. Having Nolan in her home, dressed in his nightclothes, did something odd to her, sent her pulse skittering erratically. She deliberately allowed her attention to wander to the scene outside her window. The still-green lawns of Volunteer Park showed in the distance and she pretended to be absorbed in their beauty.
“I thought I told you to keep that door chain in place,” he said casually as he worked. “This isn’t The Seattle.”
“Do you honestly think you need to remind me of that now?” She rubbed her hands together, hoping to generate some warmth before her fingers went numb.
“There,” he said, sounding satisfied. “All she needed was a little loving care.”
“Thanks,” Maryanne said with relief.
“No problem, only the next time something like this happens don’t try to fix it yourself.”
“Translated, that means I shouldn’t try to fix the radiator again while you’re trying to sleep.”
“Right.”
She smiled up at him, her eyes alive with appreciation. He really had been good to her from the day she’d moved in—before then, too. Discounting what he’d written about her in his column, of course. And even that had ended up having a positive effect.
It’d been a week since she’d seen him. A long week. A lonely week. Until now, she’d hardly been able to admit, even to herself, how much she’d missed him. Standing there as he was, Maryanne was struck by just how attractive she found him. If only he’d taken the time to button his shirt! She reveled in his lean strength and his aura of unquestionable authority—and that chest of his was driving her to distraction.
She wasn’t the only one enthralled. Nolan was staring at her, too. The silence lingered between them, lengthening moment by moment as they gazed into each other’s eyes.
“I have to go,” he finally said, breaking eye contact by glancing past her, out the window.
“Right. I—I understand,” she stammered, stepping back. Her hands swung at her sides as she followed him to the door. “I really do appreciate this.” Already she could feel the warmth spilling into her apartment. And none too soon, either.
“Just remember to keep the door locked.”
She grinned and mockingly saluted him. “Aye, aye, sir.”
He left then. Maryanne hated to see him go, hated to see him walk away from her, and yet it seemed he was always doing exactly that.
* * *
Later that same afternoon, after she’d finished her errands, Maryanne was strolling through the park when a soft feminine voice spoke from behind her.
Maryanne turned around and waved when she discovered Gloria, the teenager she’d met here earlier. But this time Gloria wasn’t alone.
“This is my little sister, Katie, the pest,” Gloria explained. “She’s three.”
“Hello, Katie,” Maryanne said, smiling.
“Why am I a pest?” Katie asked, gazing at Gloria, but apparently not offended that her older sister referred to her that way.
“Because.” Looking annoyed, the teenager shrugged in the same vague manner Maryanne had so often seen in her younger brothers. “Katie’s three and every other word is ‘why.’ Why this? Why that? It’s enough to drive a person straight to the loony bin.”
“I have brothers, so I know what you mean.”
“You do?”
“They’re several years younger than I am. So trust me, I understand what you’re talking about.”
“Did your brothers want to go every place you did? And did your mother make you take them even if it was a terrible inconvenience?”
Maryanne tried to disguise a smile. “Sometimes.”
“Eddie asked me to come and watch him play basketball this afternoon with Mr. Adams, and I had to drag Katie along because she wanted to come to the park, too. My mom pressured me into bringing her. I didn’t even get a chance to say no.” Gloria made it sound as if she were being forced to swim across Puget Sound with the three-year-old clinging to her back.
“I’m not a pest,” Katie insisted now, flipping her braid over one shoulder in a show of defiance. Looking up at Maryanne, the little girl carefully manipulated her fingers and proudly exclaimed, “I’m three.”
“Three?” Maryanne repeated, raising her eyebrows, feigning surprise. “Really? I would’ve thought you were four or five.”
Katie grinned delightedly. “I’m nearly four, you know.”
“Mr. Adams is already here,” Gloria said, brightening. She frowned as she glanced down at her little sister and jerked the small arm in an effort to hurry her along. “Come on, Katie, we have to go. Eddie wants me to watch him play ball.”
“Why?”
Gloria groaned. “See what I mean?”
“You go on,” Maryanne said, offering Katie her hand. The youngster obediently slipped her small hand into Maryanne’s much larger one, willingly abandoning her cranky older sister. “Katie and I will follow behind.”
Gloria looked surprised by the offer. “You mean you don’t mind? I mean, Katie’s my responsibility and it wouldn’t be fair to palm her off on you. You’re not going to kidnap her or anything, are you? I mean, I know you’re not—you’re Mr. Adams’s friend. I wouldn’t let her go with just anyone, you know. But if anything happened to her, my mother would kill me.”
“I promise to take the very best care of her.”
Gloria grinned, looking sheepish for having suggested anything else. “You’re sure you don’t mind?”
“I don’t mind in the least. I don’t think Katie does, either. Is that right, Katie?”
“Why?”
“Are you really sure? Okay, then…” Once she’d made a token protest Gloria raced off to join her friends.
Katie was content to skip and hop at Maryanne’s side until they reached a huge pile of leaves under a chestnut tree, not far from the basketball court. Almost before Maryanne realized it, Katie raced toward the leaves, bunching as many as she could in her small arms and carrying them back to Maryanne as though presenting her with the rarest of jewels.
“Look,” she cried happily. “Leafs.”
“Leaves,” Maryanne corrected, bending over and grabbing an armful herself. She tossed them in the air and grinned as Katie leapt up to catch as many as she could and in the process dropped the armload she was holding.
Laughing, Maryanne clasped the child by the waist and swung her around, while Katie shrieked with delight. Dizzy, Maryanne leaned against the tree in an effort to regain her equilibrium and her breath.
It was then that she saw Nolan had stopped playing and was standing in the middle of the basketball court, staring at her. The game was going on all around him, boys scattering in one direction and then another, racing to one end of the court and back again. Nolan seemed oblivious to them and to the game—to everything but her.
A tall boy bumped into him from behind and Nolan stumbled. Maryanne gasped, fearing he might fall, but he caught himself in time. Without a pause, he rejoined the game, racing down the court at breakneck speed. He stole the ball and made a slam dunk, coming down hard on the pavement.
Gloria ran back toward Maryanne and Katie. “I thought you said you and Mr. Adams were just friends?” she teased. She was grinning in a way that suggested she wasn’t about to be fooled again. “He nearly got creamed because he couldn’t take his eyes off you.”
With Katie on her lap, Maryanne sat beside the teenage girls watching the game. Together she and the three-year-old became Nolan’s personal cheering squad, but whether or not he appreciated their efforts she didn’t know. He didn’t give a single indication that he heard them.
When the game was finished, Nolan walked breathlessly off the court. His grey sweatshirt was stained with perspiration, and his face was red and damp from the sheer physical exhaustion of keeping up with kids half his age.
For an anxious moment, Maryanne assumed he was planning to ignore her and simply walk away. But after he’d stopped at the water fountain, he came over to the bench where she and Katie were sitting.
He slumped down beside her, dishevelled and still breathing hard. “What are you doing here?” he grumbled.
“I happened to be in the park,” she answered, feeling self-conscious now and unsure. “You don’t need to worry, Nolan. I didn’t follow you.”
“I didn’t think you had.”
“You look nice in blue,” he said hoarsely, then cleared his throat as if he hadn’t meant to say that, as if he wanted to withdraw the words.
“Thanks.” The blue sweater was one of her favorites. She’d worn her long wool coat and was surprised he’d even noticed the periwinkle-blue sweater beneath.
“Hello, Katie.”
Katie beamed, stretching out both arms for Nolan to lift her up, which he did. The little girl hugged him quickly, then leapt off the bench and ran to her sister, who stood talking to her boyfriend.
“You’re good with children,” Nolan said. His voice fell slightly, as though the fact surprised him.
“I do have a knack with them. I always have.” She’d been much-sought as a babysitter by her parents’ friends and for a time had considered becoming a teacher. If she’d pursued that field of study she would have preferred to teach kindergarten. She found five-year-olds, with their eagerness to learn about the world, delightful. A couple of articles she’d written the week before were geared toward children’s magazines. If only she’d hear something soon. It seemed to take so long.
“How many years of your life did you lose this time?” Maryanne asked teasingly.
“Another two or three, at least.”
He smiled at her and it was that rare special smile he granted her only in those brief moments when his guard was lowered. His resistance to the attraction he felt to her was at its weakest point, and they both knew it.
Maryanne went still, almost afraid to move or speak for fear of ruining the moment. His eyes, so warm and gentle, continued to hold hers. When she tried to breathe, the air seemed to catch in her lungs.
“Maryanne.” Her name was little more than a whisper.
“Yes?”
He raked his hand through his hair, then looked away. “Nothing. Never mind.”
“What is it?” she pressed, unwilling to let the matter drop.
The muscles along the side of his jaw clenched. “I said it was nothing,” he answered gruffly.
Maryanne gazed down at her hands, feeling an overwhelming sense of frustration and despair. The tension between them was so thick she could practically touch it, but nothing she could say or do would make any difference. If anything, her efforts would only make it worse.
“Hey, Nolan,” Eddie called out, loping toward them. “What’s with you, man?” He laughed, tossing his basketball from one hand to the other. “You nearly lost that game ’cause you couldn’t take your eyes off your woman.”
Nolan scowled at him. “You looking for a rematch?”
“Any time you want.”
“Not today.” Shaking his head, Nolan slowly pushed the sleeves of his sweatshirt past his elbows.
“Right,” Eddie said with a knowing laugh. “I didn’t think so, with your woman here and all.”
“Maryanne isn’t my woman,” Nolan informed him curtly, his frown darkening.
“Right,” Eddie responded. “Hey, dude, this is me, Eddie. Can’t fool me! You practically went comatose when you saw her. I don’t blame you, though. She ain’t bad. So when are you two getting married?”