A fact merely marks the point where we have agreed to let investigation cease.
—BLISS CARMAN
Whoever ceases to be a student has never been a student.
—GEORGE ILES
Truth I have no trouble with; it’s the facts I get all screwed up.
—FARLEY MOWAT
The love of truth lies at the root of much humour.
—ROBERTSON DAVIES
Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
—LAURENCE J. PETER
A great deal of intelligence can be invested in ignorance when the need for illusion is deep.
—SAUL BELLOW
Ignoring isn’t the same as ignorance; you have to work at it.
—MARGARET ATWOOD
Ignorance is no excuse—it’s the real thing.
—IRENE PETER
Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
—LAURENCE J. PETER
I would like to be ignorant. Then I would not know how ignorant I was.
—MARGARET ATWOOD
One often learns more from ten days of agony than ten years of contentment.
—MERLE SHAIN
Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out.
—ART LINKLETTER
Better never means better for everyone. It always means worse, for some.
—MARGARET ATWOOD
The biggest things are always the easiest to do because there is no competition.
—WILLIAM CORNELIUS VANHORNE
In a bikini-factory you don’t see calendars with pictures of garages.
—PIERRE LÉGARÉ
Celibacy is not hereditary.
—GUY GODIN
Nothing changes instantaneously: in a gradually heating bathtub you’d be boiled to death before you knew it.
—MARGARET ATWOOD
There are only two categories in cliff diving: there’s ‘Grand Champion’ and ‘Stuff on a Rock.’
—NORM MACDONALD
It’s always a nice day above the clouds.
—DOMINIQUE BOUCHARD
Today, if you’re not confused, you are not thinking clearly.
—IRENE PETER
Each day dies with sleep.
—MARGARET LAURENCE
Disappointment is when you can’t do it twice; despair is when you can’t do it once.
—BERNARD BRADEN
Doing nothing is very hard to do…you never know when you’re finished.
—LESLIE NIELSEN
In economics, the majority is always wrong.
—JOHN KENNETH GALBRAITH
Futurism is passé.
—C.D. CRENNA
All generalizations are bad.
—R.H. GRENIER
If human beings had genuine courage, they’d wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween.
—DOUGLAS COUPLAND
It is harder to be a hero for your servant than for your biographer.
—JOHN W. DAFOE
Hindsight is 20/20, but only if you are looking back.
—GEORGE MURRAY
History proves nothing.
—BILL GRAY
Man can live without air for seconds,
without water for days,
without food for weeks,
and without ideas for years.
—LAURENCE J. PETER
When you write secret messages with invisible ink, you never know when your pen is empty.
—PIERRE LÉGARÉ
Everybody wants to see justice done—to somebody else.
—BRUCE COCKBURN
Latin is used on tombstones because it’s a dead language.
—LAURENCE J. PETER
One loses many laughs by not laughing at oneself.
—SARA JEANNETTE DUNCAN
When librarians talk in their sleep, they talk very softly.
—PIERRE LÉGARÉ
Old lie: The check is in the mail.
New lie: I didn’t check the e-mail.
—BRIAN FINE
You can only lose something that you have, but you cannot lose something that you are.
—ECKHART TOLLE
Meat may be murder, but spinach is grand theft auto.
—ERYK NIELSEN
To live without mirrors is to live without the self.
—MARGARET ATWOOD
Nineties style isn’t.
—DAVID BORENSTEIN
If you get a great parking spot, you’ve probably shown up on the wrong day.
—SAM LIEBMAN
There are no perfect men in this world; only perfect intentions.
—PEN DENSHAM
A pessimist only receives pleasant surprises.
—RUTH PIDDICK
We are always clumsy when we take pity on others.
—JEAN-PAUL PINSONNEAULT
Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time.
—DOUGLAS COUPLAND
Punctuality is a virtue, especially when your date is with a parking meter.
—O.A. BATTISTA
Those who risk nothing, and have nothing to risk, lie ready to pounce on those who risk all.
—FLOYD MAXWELL
The road you walk for the second time is not so long any more.
—ROSALIE GRAHAM
The Social Sciences are good at accounting for disasters once they have taken place.
—CLAUDE T. BISSELL
Once you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.
—DEBORAH LEDREW
There are no original sins—they’ve all been done before.
—LOUIS DUDEK
Often we learn songs when it is too late to sing.
—CAROL PARSONS
Space rockets cost hundreds of millions and they don’t even have a horn.
—PIERRE LÉGARÉ
It costs to be stupid. The stupider you are, the more it costs.
—SHERRILL BROWN
It is difficult to commit suicide when you are in need of a pee.
—MILTON SHULMAN
Most swimmers will run for shelter at the first signs of rain.
—J. RIBERDY
If you eat a toadstool and you don’t die, it’s a mushroom.
—ART LINKLETTER
We shape our tools and thereafter our tools shape us.
—MARSHALL MCLUHAN
If you have a tree and it is its birthday, when you invite other trees, they won’t come.
—PIERRE LÉGARÉ
The truth is duller than fiction.
—FLOYD MAXWELL
The unexpected always happens.
—LAURENCE J. PETER
When you play a video of a fire backwards, the firemen don’t come out so well.
—PIERRE LÉGARÉ
When you don’t know what you want, you end up wanting a lot more than you need.
—FLOYD MAXWELL
The grim fact is that we prepare for war like precious giants, and for peace like retarded pygmies.
—LESTER PEARSON
The simplest questions are the hardest to answer.
—NORTHROP FRYE
Some of the most celebrated milestones in history occurred when somebody dared to ask what everybody else thought was a stupid question.
—O.A. BATTISTA
Not asking questions to avoid appearing stupid won’t get you any smarter.
—ERYK NIELSEN