Sophia stood on the deck surrounded by people she routinely hung out with at the Penalty Box, attended book club with at the mystery bookstore, had a skinny latte and cupcake with at the Sugar Plum Bakery, and lunched with at the tea shop.
These were her people. She knew them and liked them, and they liked her. So why was she searching the crowd for a man she hadn’t thought about in years? Okay, so maybe she had thought about him. But whenever he dropped into her brain uninvited, she’d push him out because it hurt too much to think about him. His betrayal had wounded her almost as much as his brother’s, and despite Adam apologizing and saying all the right words in the truck tonight, she wasn’t ready to forgive him.
Yet as she stood around the wood-burning fire pit drinking a dirty snowman and gazing up at Blue Mountain, she was fighting a desperate urge to find him.
It was like she’d reverted back to the girl she used to be. The one who didn’t have to worry about guys hitting on her when she danced her heart out at parties because Adam would be there watching out for her. The girl whose heart felt like it would burst if she made him smile or, even better, laugh.
“You were a silly girl,” she murmured, deciding she needed something stronger than Baileys with vanilla ice cream, hot chocolate, and whipped cream.
“Where are you going?” Ty called from where he sat on the arm of an Adirondack chair. She’d thought he was too busy with the IT guy from Denver to notice her leave. She raised her empty glass.
“Okay, but hurry up. The show’s about to begin.”
She’d forgotten about the show. She shivered despite wearing as much fur as a polar bear. That hers wasn’t real was probably the reason the cold mountain air cut through the coat, or maybe it wasn’t the wind at all.
She went up on her toes, searching for Autumn’s pink knit hat with the double faux-fur pom-poms, and spotted her where she’d last seen her, standing at the rail talking to Nell McBride, who wore a tiny Santa hat on a sparkly headband that held back her youthfully cut, dyed red hair. Logan’s children were with them, but their daddy wasn’t. Sophia said a prayer to the Virgin Mother. Maybe he’d be too busy to join them tonight. She was about to call to Autumn when several other members of the McBride family joined them with their toddlers in tow.
They had the best vantage point for the show. So not much chance she’d be able to convince Autumn to join her by the stone fireplace on the main floor.
Or the bar, Sophia thought, nibbling the chocolate that rimmed her empty glass as she headed for the double doors. Two men walked onto the deck at the exact moment she licked the chocolate from her lips. Logan looked from her to Adam, lifting an eyebrow before turning to walk away.
“Nice to see you too, Logan!” she called to his back. People on the deck stopped talking to turn and stare, including Autumn. Sophia didn’t care. It wasn’t right for Logan to treat her this way. Though she supposed she was partially to blame. She’d let Bryce’s family get away with treating her like crap for far too long.
Logan turned and walked back to her. “Nice to see you, Sophia.” His smile was as fake as her fur coat, and he nodded at her glass. “It looks like you got a head start on the night. You might want to slow down.”
“I’m just getting started, mi hermano.” She called him my brother because she knew he didn’t like it. “But you, you should slow down with mi hermana. You broke her—”
“Okay, nice to see nothing has changed between you two. Logan, you go to your corner, and, Soph, you’re coming with me.”
Adam turned to open the door at the same time music came through the outdoor speakers, signaling the parade was about to begin. A cheer went up from the crowd as everyone turned to look up at the top of Blue Mountain. She hurried though the door Adam held open, relieved at her narrow escape. But just as she was about to walk toward the stairs leading down to the main floor, Adam took her hand.
“Come on, you get a better view of the parade from over here than down there.” He drew her toward a bank of windows to the left of the deck.
She opened her mouth to make an excuse about needing a drink, but the ski instructors and ski patrol had already begun weaving down the mountain with lit torches held aloft. From where she stood, it looked like a ribbon of fire undulating its way around and down the mountain in time to this year’s top pop songs pumping through the outdoor speakers.
“Doesn’t get old, does it?” Adam said, obviously mistaking her open mouth as an expression of awe.
She pressed her lips together, afraid the sob building in the back of her throat would escape.
“Jeez, Bryce loved this. It was his favorite holiday tradition, even as a kid. As soon as he was old enough to take the lift by himself, he started bugging our grandparents to let him lead the parade. Probably the only thing he hated about being on the circuit was missing out on…Aw, Soph, I’m sorry. I didn’t think.”
She flicked the tear from her cheek. “He led the parade that last year. You weren’t here. Everyone said he shouldn’t do it. They thought I should stop him, could stop him, but there was no stopping Bryce once his mind was made up.”
She moved closer to the window, pressing her hand to the glass, covering the place she’d met him at the end of the parade, his handsome face aglow in the torchlight. “Do you know, that night was the happiest I had seen him since the accident. He was filled with hope and plans to get back…I should have stopped him. If I had, he wouldn’t have…” She swallowed a sob and the truth.
Adam’s hand moved over her back in an effort to comfort her. But it wasn’t comforting. He wasn’t comforting. She didn’t know why she’d wanted him at her side earlier tonight. He stirred things up, making everything worse.
“Come on, Soph. There’s nothing you could have done. Bryce…Don’t blame yourself—”
She turned to face him, causing his hand to fall to his side. “Why not? You did. You all did.”
“No. I didn’t. Not once. God’s truth.”
“I saw the way you looked at me at the funeral. You couldn’t hide it. Not from me. You were angry.”
“I was. But not at you. Never at you. I was angry at Bryce—” He looked away.
She took in the muscle pulsating in his scruff-lined jaw, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. He was angry now. But not at her, at Bryce.
“I’m sorry. You didn’t need to do this tonight,” he said.
Why would he be mad at Bryce after all this time, she wondered. Why…? “You knew. You know,” she said more to herself than to him. The air around them shifted as the door opened and closed, ushering people and a gush of cold inside. But it was like they were in their own private bubble, walking a tightrope between truth and lies. They stared at each other.
“What do I know, Soph?”
She was afraid to say. If she did and he didn’t know, or even if he did, it would be like pulling out the one card that would topple the house of cards. But there was something about the way he looked at her that forced the truth past her lips. “That it wasn’t an accident.”
He brought his hands to his face, moved them up and down, and then looked around. The deck was nearly empty as people walked by, heading down the stairs to the main floor. “We need to talk, but not here.”
She didn’t want to talk. Her memories of that time were locked away where they could no longer hurt her. Being here, being with Adam, had unlocked the vault and some had slipped out. She needed to leave; that’s what she needed to do. “I have to find Autumn.”
She searched the crowd and spotted Nell walking down the stairs with Logan’s children. Their father and Autumn were nowhere in sight. Sophia hurried to the railing, searching for a black fedora in the crowd. Lines of people stood at the bar and at buffet tables piled high with platters of finger food. A small group gathered at the twenty-foot Christmas tree.
“Ty!” she called out.
He turned from where he stood by the fireplace, looked up, and waved.
“Where’s Autumn?”
He frowned, looked around, and then shrugged.
“I know where she is, Sophia,” Nell McBride yelled from where she now stood just off to the right of the stairs with Logan’s children.
Adam glanced at Nell. “Ah, Soph, I don’t think this is a good idea,” he said as he reluctantly followed her down the stairs. “Nell’s got that look in her eyes.”
Sophia stopped to squint at his step-grandmother. “What look?”
“You know, the one she gets when she’s up to no good. Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” he muttered when Sophia walked across the planked floor to Nell, who waved over her husband, Calder Dane.
Adam’s grandfather didn’t need a wig or a fake beard to play the town’s Santa to Nell’s Mrs. Claus. Calder looked exactly as Sophia had always pictured the jolly old elf, right down to the sparkling blue eyes.
He winked at Sophia and then pulled a small candy cane from behind each of Logan’s children’s ears. The little boy and girl, who were subdued only moments before, lit up. They were lucky to have Calder and Nell in their lives. Their uncle Adam too, she thought when he crouched in front of them, pulling two envelopes from his jacket pocket.
They opened the envelopes and withdrew bright and sparkly Christmas cards. Their eyes lit up when they looked inside. “Look! Look what Uncle Adam got us!” They held up identical photos of a puppy with a curly, cream-colored coat before throwing themselves at Adam. “Where is he, Uncle Adam? Where is he?”
“Waiting for you at home.” He looked up at his grandfather. “Don’t worry. He’s in a crate, and I bought everything he needs.” He hugged his niece and nephew before standing. “If you guys think of anything else, we’ll go shopping before I leave.”
“Can we go now? Can we go home now?”
“Yes. Yes,” Nell said, making it sound like she was annoyed, but her twinkling blue eyes belied her put-upon voice. Expect they weren’t twinkling at the little people. They were twinkling at Sophia and Adam, and it was an uncomfortably familiar twinkle. Although not one Sophia had ever had directed at her.
She shot a panicked glance at Adam, who raised an I-told-you-so eyebrow.
He could tell her so all he wanted, but there wasn’t much she could do about it now. And it wasn’t like she or Adam were interested in being matched, especially to each other. Even if she were interested in dating again, which she wasn’t, she’d never date her late husband’s brother.
“I won’t keep you, then. I just need to find Autumn,” she said to Nell.
“She’s with Logan. He wanted her advice on the honeymoon cabin. Calder can take you there.”
The excitement on Logan’s children’s faces at the prospect of seeing their new puppy disappeared in an instant, a flash of resentment in their narrowed eyes. It appeared Sophia would have allies in her bid to keep their father and Autumn apart. So she didn’t understand the sudden urge to defend her best friend.
“I’ll take Sophia,” Adam offered.
She widened her eyes to make the point to Adam that he was playing into the local matchmaker’s hands. But his attention was on the phone he’d pulled from his jacket pocket. While he texted someone, she said loudly enough to hopefully regain his attention, “No. It’s okay. You take Nell and the children home. I will go with Calder.”
“Already have my ride sorted out,” Nell said. “Calder has to stick around. He and his dog team are booked up for the night. Lucky for you and Adam, he’s got an opening. Better skedaddle.”
“Give me five minutes,” Calder said, rubbing the kids’ heads and giving Nell a kiss on the cheek before walking toward the exit door.
“No. Adam’s busy. Ty will come with me. Ty!” Sophia called, her voice rising on a panicked note because of Nell and her matchmaking eyes.
“Are you the lady on Modern Family?” the little girl asked Sophia.
Ty, who must have picked up on the panic in Sophia’s voice and rushed over, grinned at Logan’s daughter. “They’re twins,” he told her, and then said to Sophia, “What’s wrong, bae…bunny?”
She made a frustrated sound. “Autumn and Logan are checking out the honeymoon suite at the—”
“They actually did it. They set the date.” Ty clapped his hands. “This is soo…” He looked from her to the children. “Bad. This is sooo bad.”
Once again she found herself torn between wanting to agree it was the worst thing ever and pretending it was the best. Autumn would be an amazing stepmother, and Sophia didn’t like the children thinking she wouldn’t. But in her heart she knew the worst thing for Autumn would be to reunite with Logan. The Danes were heartbreakers. Even Calder had broken Nell’s heart a long time ago.
And the freckle-faced little boy holding up his envelope to Sophia with a gap-toothed smile showed every sign of growing up to be a heartbreaker too. “Can you get your sister’s autograph for me?”
“She’s not my—”
“Of course she can,” Ty said, taking the envelope.
In Spanish, Sophia muttered what happened to men who lied to little children. Adam glanced up from texting with a half smile. “Soph, the kids are learning to speak Spanish. Lucky for you, you talk too fast for them to keep up. But I can.”
She’d forgotten that he spoke Spanish. He used to practice on her when he was first learning.
“And if she can’t get you an autograph, I will. What?” Ty said when she shot him a look. “I’m sending a tape of you to Ms. Vergara. You’d make a great stunt double. Don’t give me that face. You might need a second career if your sales keep—”
“Ty,” she muttered. The last thing she needed was for her customers to think her sales were down. People liked to support winners, not losers.
“Autumn mentioned you girls didn’t have a stellar year. I’ll make a note to bring it up at the business association meeting next week. Okay, kiddles, looks like our ride is ready,” Nell said, zipping up the children’s jackets.
Adam tucked his phone away and moved to help with his niece’s and nephew’s hats and mittens while saying to Sophia, “We should get going too.”
“It’s okay. Ty will…” Sophia’s eyes narrowed at Ty, who was exchanging hand signals with Nell. “What are you two talking about?”
“Nell asked me to stand in for her as hostess with the mostest.”
“What does this”—Sophia made the same hand gestures that he had— “have to do with hosting the party?”
“I didn’t do that. I did this.” He waved, smiled, and pretended to be serving food.
“You did not do that.” She waved and smiled. “You did this.” She repeated his previous hand signals.
Adam put a hand on her lower back and nudged her toward the door. “Say good-bye, Gloria.”
Ty, Nell, and the children laughed.
“You’re so funny, I cannot stand it,” Sophia said to Adam as she walked to the doors. She didn’t have a choice. She had to go with him. Because the last thing she wanted was Autumn alone with Logan in the honeymoon cottage on New Year’s Eve.