Violet sat in her chamber and sniffled back her tears. Throughout the long night, she despaired that Callum wanted her to leave. He gave his nonsense speech about wanting her safety and such, but deep down, she had to accept that he didn’t want her. If he had, he wouldn’t allow any reason to separate them. She should have declared her feelings for him and let it be known she wanted his love in return. With a scoff, she realized she wasn’t able to take a lover and not be committed to him. As much as she tried to remind herself their liaison was limited, in her heart she had hoped for something more.
Gussy entered the chamber and set another trencher before her, but Violet wouldn’t eat. She’d refused the food her friend brought the night before when she’d eaten nothing at the nightly meal or the morning meal. She wasn’t hungry and her appetite rivaled the state of her despondency.
“My lady, please, you must eat. Or tell me what troubles you?”
She shook her head and remained silent. If she spoke of Callum’s rejection it would hurt too much to bear and would bring more tears to her eyes.
“The clan is full of excitement because the king’s son comes. They’ll have a large feast this night in celebration. You should join us. It will be a jovial time.”
“I want to be alone.” Violet couldn’t bear to be around others, not when she was so full of dejection. Her sorrowful mood would make for unpleasant company.
“My Lady, please tell me what’s wrong? It’s unlike you to be overtaken with melancholy.”
“Callum wants me to leave.” She explained what he’d told her about the king’s travels and that he’d left the country and it was safe to return. “Henry has permitted me to stay at his home. I should go and perhaps I might find Cora.”
Gussy flopped on the bed next to her. “Oh, what a dreadful situation. You care for him and despair to leave him. So that’s what causes your woe.”
“Yes, but Callum doesn’t return the sentiment. I want you to stay. You can make a life here with Bailey. I haven’t ever seen you so happy and I won’t be the reason for your sadness.” Violet clasped her hand and gripped it with assurance.
“But I promised I would always stay with you. I made a vow to Lord Charles and Lord Henry that I’d ensure you were well. I cannot leave you, My Lady, regardless of my heart.”
Violet sniffled back tears at her friend’s admission. “You will stay here and I won’t hear a word of argument. I shall be well, Gussy. There’s no need to be concerned for me. I’m capable of taking care of myself. I shall return to England and will find a way to search for Cora. There’s nothing here for me.”
Gussy nodded and squeezed her fingers. “If that’s what you want. But you should come to the feast it will cheer you. Promise me you’ll attend? We shall dress you in a fine gown and do your hair. You’ll be so lovely and it will make you joyful to be garbed so. Dressing finely always brightens my spirit when I’m feeling down. Please…” Gussy pouted and pulled a light blue gown from the wardrobe. It was exquisitely embellished with a row of pearls at the bodice and she’d saved it for a special event.
Violet pulled herself away from the window casement and nodded. “Very well, but I shall not find joy at the event. I suppose I should attend though since it will likely be my last night here.”
Gussy spent the next hour getting her ready. By the time she finished, Violet was garbed in the enriched gown and her hair was pulled to a beautiful coif that accentuated her face and neck. She clasped a small earring to her ears and wore her finest jewelry.
“There, you see, you look beautiful. Callum will probably fall to his knees when he sees you. He won’t want you to leave, not when you look like this.”
She snorted in objection. “Hah, I doubt that.” With Gussy’s insistence, she left the chamber and reached the hall. No one had entered yet, but the chamber was readied for the feast. Tables were placed throughout the large room and several barrels sat near the buttery.
“I should go to the kitchen and help Bailey with the food. Will you be well until I return?”
Violet nodded at Gussy and approached the hearth. She peered at the chair where she’d sat when she first arrived. How different things were now. Then, she’d hoped to win Callum’s affection by employing the rules of enticement. The thought of it almost made her laugh. She was completely enamored of him at first sight. Now, she couldn’t envision her life without him.
Tears sprang to her eyes. She couldn’t help but weep at the thought of leaving him. Then she envisioned Cora, her sweet babe, all alone in England. Her hope that Henry would find her waned. Sobs tore at her throat and she shook with the terrible, disheartened thoughts.
“Oh, I’m sorry I don’t mean to intrude.”
Violet turned and saw a woman approach. She was a tall woman who had a mass of tight blonde curls around her face. Her nose was sharp and her lips taut, but her eyes appeared kind with a soft glint to the blue depths.
“You’re not intruding. I’m sorry… I am not good company.” Violet couldn’t cease the shudders and her tears streamed her cheeks. She pressed her fingers to her eyes to abate her tears.
“You’re distressed. I’m sorry for whatever troubles you. Come, let us get a drink and we shall discuss this. There must be something we can do to remedy this.” The woman approached a maid and spoke low to her. She returned with two cups and placed them on a nearby table. “I’ve asked for a few moments of privacy. None shall disturb us. Sit and tell me what brings tears to your lovely eyes.”
Violet didn’t know why, but she slid on the bench and babbled her problems to the stranger. As the words poured out of her, the more wretched her tale was. “I don’t want to return to England, except my daughter is there and I so desperately want to find her. Yet, there is nothing I can do. The king placed her somewhere and I know not how I might locate her. Then there is Callum.” She wiped at her eyes.
“Oh, how wretched to have your babe taken away like that. I always thought Richard was a knave, but to be so unfeeling. Worry not, your daughter will return to you. Now, what about Callum?”
She sniffled and lowered her face. “I care for him, but he wants me to return to England. As much as I want to stay here, I cannot if he doesn’t want me to remain. But how can I leave him, when he needs me?”
The woman smiled. “Love can sometimes be wearisome. But don’t despair. Callum might have said he wants you to go, but he will likely be miserable if you do. Have you confronted him?”
“I asked him to give me a reason to stay. He said nothing but walked away. There’s naught I can do to change his mind.”
The lady pressed her hands atop hers and smiled. “Men can be heartless, now and then. Do you know what I think? I believe he needs to be reminded of his feelings. You should provoke him. Tell him what an arse he’s being. Don’t let him put you off. Sometimes men need to be told what to do. You must tell him what you want and don’t let him balk. Force him to accept you. You must fight for him if he’s what you want.”
Violet raised her chin. “I do want him. Fight for him? I can’t do that, can I?”
“Of course you can. If you fight for him and make him accept you, he’ll have no choice but to submit to his desires. You’re a strong woman. And Callum needs to hear you declare your love for him. If he feels the same, he won’t let you leave. You must do it soon.”
“I will… I’ll fight for him.” Violet rose. “I should repair myself before the guests arrive. The king’s son and his wife are soon to come. Thank you for being kind. I shall take what you said to heart.”
“I will see you at the feast.” The woman left her side and made her way outside.
Violet hurried to her chamber to repair herself. She washed her face and the cool water took her sorrow away. With astounding awe, she couldn’t believe she’d wept in front of Annabella, Scotland’s future queen. The woman was kind to let her speak of her problems. Word of the princess’s marriage and her care had reached England. Charles spoke of her often because apparently, Annabella helped her husband rule Scotland since the king ailed. When the king died, which she’d perceived was imminent, the lady would be queen. Annabella hadn’t given herself away and Violet wondered why she hadn’t introduced herself. The woman would make for a fine ruler. She certainly gave good advice in dealing with Callum.
Violet sighed deeply and closed her chamber door. She rejoined the feast and found the hall filled with the Sinclair clan. Many stood about in groups and ate and drank. Violet watched Callum from afar. How she wished she could stand beside him. Her heart hurt to gaze at him. He looked handsome in a freshly laundered tunic and tartan. He had removed the whiskers from his face and he beheld a serious mien. No smile met his lips. Concerns kept his expression stern.
Throughout the night, he sat beside Annabella and their conversation alluded that they were close. He hung on her every word and Annabella on his. Violet wasn’t jealous of the future queen, but she was envious that she held his attention. He’d barely glanced at Violet all evening. She even employed some of the enticement rules to gain his notice. She kept her eyes on him as he moved about the hall and she smiled. When he caught her gaze, he turned away. Nothing worked.
Annabella pointed toward the entrance and drew his attention away from the man next to him. Callum’s brows furrowed slightly as he listened to the man, but his expression turned fierce when he spotted Keith.
Keith Sutherland entered the hall and approached him. Violet pressed her hand on her chest and prayed they wouldn’t brawl, especially in front of the future queen. She stood near and gave a look of concern to Clive and hoped he’d intercede, but it wasn’t necessary when Callum greeted Keith with a cordial tone.
“Keith, I’m glad you’re here. You got my message. Join us.”
She shook her head as the two took hands in greeting and Keith spoke quietly to Callum. Callum nodded and seemed appeased to have Keith there. None interrupted their conversation, but Annabella handed them each a drink and retreated to the table.
The revelry of the feast grew loud as the drink raised the voices of those within the hall. Two men danced by the musicians and jests were shouted across the tables. Callum’s uncle Lockie spun around in the corner and dropped his cup. Mor laughed and helped him retrieve it. Dela played near the hearth with her kittens, and thankfully, Frang was outside. Clive and his father began a drinking game and several soldiers stood around them and called out wagers of who could drink more. Ian had apparently more experience with drink than Clive did. It was the first time she’d seen the Sinclairs truly enjoy themselves.
Violet didn’t want to leave the feast, but she sat alone. Even Gussy had the fair company of Bailey. If she was forced to leave, Violet would be alone. She might as well get used to it. What a regretful mood she was in. She’d always had Gussy to lean on when times were troublesome. But it was obvious Gussy had a sentiment for the cook and Violet only wanted her friend’s happiness. She sighed at the thought that she’d lose the contentment that she’d found.
“What has you so gloomy?” Keith took the bench across from her.
She startled from her reverie and glanced at him. “Oh, Keith, it is good to see you. I’m guessing with your presence that you and Callum have made amends?”
He grinned and nodded. “Somewhat. There is still work to do to sway Callum, but aye we’ve come to an understanding. You didn’t answer my question. Why do I see sadness in your eyes? They should shine with their beauty and a smile.”
She scoffed. “You are incorrigible.”
“You’re right. None will change my view of you. Have you told Callum how you feel yet? Has he admitted he cares for you? I know he does. I told him he should―”
Violet shook her head and stood. “No, he hasn’t. There’s no longer anything between us. I really must retire. Good eve, Keith.”
He rose but scowled. “What do you mean nothing between you? You cannot say that and not explain.”
“Callum doesn’t hold me with regard, that’s all. I must go.”
“It’s early, too young in the night to seek your bed. They’ve only just served the meal and you haven’t eaten.”
“I’m afraid I don’t feel well enough to stay any longer. I am glad you and Callum remedied your disagreement and I’m sorry if I caused you any grief.”
“Not at all. My discord with Callum has nothing to do with you.” Keith bowed to her. “Have a good rest then, Milady. I hope you fare better.”
Violet hurried away. As much as she wanted to tell Keith what happened, that Callum insisted she leave for England, she didn’t want to anger him. Keith would probably have raised his voice to Callum and caused more difficulties between them. She didn’t want them to argue over her again and suspected Callum had regretted the last scuffle they’d had. At least they’d come to some accord. But if she hadn’t caused their rift, she wondered what had.
As Violet readied for bed, she pulled her satchel from under the bed and tossed in most of her belongings. On the morrow, she might very well have to leave. But before she admitted defeat, she would make one last effort to sway Callum’s sentiment. She had to do whatever it took to stay on Sinclair land and if that meant she had to fight for him, she would. One way or another, she would confront Callum and force him to admit his feelings for her.