Chapter 11
“Tell us everything about your visit with Jacob,” Maddie demanded that next night.
The three foster sisters were in the hot tub. Ty had just gone into the kitchen to muster up a snack.
“Well, let’s see…” Delia leaned back against the warm tile to stare up into the cloudy night. An occasional snowflake fell, cooling her steaming skin, as she remembered the visit to Scott’s office and the subsequent letter she and Cade had drafted to the authorities, outlining Scott’s financial problems. She could only hope it worked. “He creamed me in basketball and then I creamed him in a serious card game of war.”
“You probably cheated,” Zoe said, and Delia laughed.
“I never cheat. You’re confusing me with you.”
“You calling me a cheater?”
“Girls, girls,” Maddie said with a dramatic sigh, and they all laughed again.
“So was it heaven?” Maddie asked.
“Yeah.” Delia smiled, though it was a bittersweet one. “Then hell when I had to leave him. He asked me when he could come back here and I promised him as soon as possible.”
“How perfect,” Maddie said, smiling brilliantly. “He wants to come back to us.”
“And not just for a visit.” Delia remembered how Jacob had stood there, hands jammed into his pockets, as he’d muttered something she couldn’t quite catch. When she’d asked him to repeat it, he’d gone red in the face but had looked right at her.
“Maybe I could,” he’d said, “you know, come stay with you. Like…live there. Maybe. Sometime.”
He’d spoken casually, but with his heart on his sleeve, and Delia’s chest had ached. “He wants to come live here,” she said.
Zoe smiled in satisfaction at that. “He loves me.”
Maddie splashed her sister. “He loved it here, with all of us. Oh, Dee, how wonderful! What did you tell him?”
Delia remembered how she’d knelt before him, her hands on his shoulders, her heart in her throat. “It’s going to be up to the courts,” she’d said, her joy nearly overwhelming her. It had been all she could do not to give in to the tears burning her eyes. But crying right then would have only confused him. “You’re a very popular little boy, you know.”
A smile had split his face. “I have options,” he said. “Edna told me that. I pick you, Delia.”
“I wish it was that easy,” she managed. “But no matter what, you can come here as often as you want.”
“With you and Maddie and Zoe?”
She’d smiled. “Yes.”
“And Ty?” She could tell he’d had fun listing all the people in his life, people he would grow to love and care about. People who were his family.
“And Ty,” she said.
“And Cade?”
Her smile had faltered then. “Cade doesn’t live on the ranch, honey. He’s just working on a case. When he’s done, he’ll be gone.” Gone. For good. She could no longer think of it and muster up relief as she once had.
She didn’t feel anything but a terrifying emptiness at the thought of Cade leaving her life for good. But she had no idea how to change their fate, so she did her best to ignore it.
To hide her roller-coaster emotions, she’d given Jacob a hug, and he’d only hesitated a second before hugging her back. Nothing had ever felt as good as having that scrawny squirming little boy in her arms.
“I told Jacob soon,” she whispered now to her sisters. “Hopefully he’ll come here and stay.”
“So he wanted to know about Cade, too, huh?” Zoe watched Delia carefully, sinking deeper in the hot bubbling water. “You should know, Maddie and I have decided we love him.”
“Good for you two.”
“We can tell Cade loves it here with us,” Maddie said, “in spite of himself.”
“In spite of himself?” Delia narrowed her eyes. “What does that mean?”
“Delia.” Maddie’s voice was gentle. “I know the two of you have been circling each other like wild boars.”
“Like boars in heat, more like,” Zoe muttered, but wisely scooted back before Delia could splash her.
“I don’t know what haunts him,” Maddie said, “but something does. He’s such a wonderful man. And we’re so shorthanded. We were thinking…”
“That he belongs,” Zoe finished bluntly. “We have more than enough room for him to have his office here if he wants, and frankly, he’s got amazing know-all about this winter stuff. He’s not busy full-time with his cases, and he loves the wilderness. He could take guests out on treks with horses or snowmobiles.”
Delia rose and climbed out of the tub, immediately missing the warmth of the water. “No.”
“Delia—”
“No,” she said more firmly. “He won’t want to. My God, are you kidding?” She managed a laugh because the thought of having Cade in front of her all the time, looking rugged and tough, and rangy and sexy every single day, but at the same time not really being able to have him… It would break her heart, and that simply couldn’t be allowed to happen. “No,” she said again, and wrapped a towel around herself.
“Honey, wait—” Maddie rose from the tub, too, and with a delicate shiver she approached Delia. “If there’s nothing between you and Cade—”
“There’s not.”
“Then why are you so upset? He hasn’t hurt you, or—”
“No.” Delia gritted her teeth against Maddie’s worry, because she hated causing Maddie anything but happiness. “I’m sorry, it’s just that I know you’re right. I know Cade likes to be wild and free because it helps him avoid the fact he doesn’t have a real home, and I even know why he does it, and while I feel terrible about it, I just don’t know if I…if I can handle having him here.”
“You can handle anything,” Zoe reminded her quietly. “Which is why it’s shocking to watch you run from this, to completely ignore what’s happening between you and that man. That wonderful man, who’s obviously been as hurt by life as we have. We have the advantage, though—we have a new start. Come on, Dee, don’t you think he deserves the same? For once we have the upper hand, the ability to help others, instead of accepting what others can do for us. I can’t believe you aren’t willing to see that.”
“Zoe.” A frown curved Maddie’s mouth. “Don’t be so hard on her.”
Delia closed her eyes. “No, Maddie, she’s right.” Her selfishness and all the things she hadn’t told her sisters filled her with shame. They were both so honest, so open and willing to love and accept, and she’d lied to them by not admitting her custody troubles, by not admitting how she really felt about Cade, by holding herself back from them, when they never would have done that to her. “I think…I think I just need to get some sleep,” she whispered.
But when she’d escaped to her bed, away from her sisters concerned gazes, there was no sleep to be found.
At dawn’s light Delia had given up on the sweet escape of sleep. She’d gotten up, pulled on her clothes and gone outside.
Now she stood on the bank of the Salmon River, with the Triple M Guest Ranch at her back and the early-morning autumn sun on her face. The view was spectacular, but all she could see was her brother’s hopeful expression.
She couldn’t fail him.
Walking back to the house, the frozen ground crunched beneath her boots. Her breath crystallized in front of her face.
The mountains were white and brown. The meadow was white and brown. But the sky and the river were a brilliant blue. The trees provided the green. And with the two red barns and the wood fencing throughout, the place could have been a postcard, it was so lovely. The colors were so bright, so clear, Delia expected to see them run together as if the whole thing was a painting.
Instead, she watched as a man left the ranch house and walked toward the barn. He was tall, with a confident stride she’d recognize anywhere.
Cade.
Her eyes narrowed. She hadn’t known he was here. He must have arrived either very late last night or early this morning.
Without a hat, his dark hair was whipped by the wind. His broad shoulders were slightly hunched against the cold, his hands shoved in his pockets. From this distance, she couldn’t see clearly, couldn’t read his expression, but she had no problem sensing his unhappiness.
Dammit. She didn’t want to wonder about that, didn’t want to wonder if it was the memories of his family or the fact that for now he was tied here when he didn’t want to be.
Or maybe it was her causing his misery.
Delia sighed. She wasn’t one to sit around and let life take her for a ride. Which meant she needed to go talk to him. Needed to make sure…
Another unladylike oath left her lips, because she was lying to herself, looking for excuses to go see the man who fascinated her, who took up too much of her thoughts.
By the time she got to the barn, it was empty. The far door was open to the chilly wind. She was halfway through when one of the horses stuck his head over the top of his stall and nudged her.
She had to laugh at her racing heart. “You stop that,” she told the horse. “That’s rude.”
He just watched her with his dark baleful eyes.
“I suppose you’ve mistaken me for Zoe, who spoils you rotten with apples.”
The horse lifted his upper lip and searched through her pockets until she stepped back out of his way. “Nothing, champ. Sorry.” Ignoring his snort, she headed toward the back door.
Cade stood in the opening, his arms braced against the jamb, staring out into the white day, silent, his body fraught with tension.
She knew he’d heard her enter the barn. She also knew he must have witnessed her little chat with the horse, but he didn’t so much as look her way.
“This is new,” she said lightly, as if his rejection mattered in the least to her. “This letting me come to you. Usually you can’t wait to eavesdrop—” She gasped when he whirled suddenly, grabbing her hips.
Before she could take another breath, he’d maneuvered her back against the barn wall, holding her there with his powerful body. “You,” he said, his tone low and rough. She had no idea if he was accusing her of something or speaking in awe.
Given the dark look on his handsome face, she guessed it wasn’t the latter. “Yes,” she agreed, swallowing hard at the sensation of being sandwiched between the wall and Cade McKnight. “Me.”
His hips pressed into hers, and his hands cupped her face so he could stare down into it. “Zoe and Maddie and Ty called me out here last night.”
With him against her as he was, it was difficult to think. But finally his words sank in. “They…they did? The wedding isn’t until next week.”
“The ranch is full come tomorrow. Ten guests. They asked—no, demanded—I come help.”
Delia’s thoughts raced. She knew they were expecting a full house. She also knew they could handle it. Her sisters had done what they’d wanted to last night—they’d called him to come here. “I…didn’t know.”
“I figured.” His thumb played over her lower lip, making it tingle, and then her mouth opened of its own accord. His eyes darkened all the more, two midnight fathomless pools. “They want me to stick around. To set up my office in the house, and be part of the staff when I can.”
Much as she wanted to concentrate on the sensations running through her body at his touch, it was impossible to ignore his words.
Because no matter what his mouth said, she could hear the awe, the fear, the indecision in his tone. And knew, no matter what she wanted, her sisters had done the right thing for Cade. “Are you going to do it?”
“I don’t know.” He stared over her head, as if picturing it. “I’d be taking guests out. We could explore the wilderness.”
She knew that appealed to his sense of wanderlust. She couldn’t blame him; it even appealed to her, the ultimate city girl. Another shock.
He blinked, as if bringing himself back, and sighed heavily. “That’s not why I’m here, though. Delia…”
Right then she knew. She knew by the way his expression filled with regret, by the way he tightened his hold on her so she couldn’t escape. “You have news about my father,” she said in a completely normal voice.
“Yes.”
It was going to be bad; she could feel it in every cell of her body. “Just tell me, Cade. I’m a big girl. What’s the matter—Eddie’s trail harder to trace than you thought?”
“No.” His voice was filled with disgust. “I traced Eddie Kitze just fine.”
“To…Ethan Freeman?” God, she had everything riding on this. With Scott playing his games, she needed something in her corner. Even knowing about his money troubles didn’t totally appease her, because she had no idea if it would matter to the judge.
She needed to be heir, dammit. “Cade, tell me.”
He glanced down and she did, too, seeing with surprise that her hands were gripping the front of his shirt. He covered them with his own. “I found Eddie Kitze. He really existed, and he wasn’t Ethan Freeman. He’d lied about being an undercover cop because he was a rich spoiled brat, out for a good time, slumming, as Dottie called it. He was a coward, afraid of his daddy’s wrath and the loss of his inheritance.”
“Okay.” She wasn’t Ethan Freeman’s daughter. She wasn’t heir. “How did you find out?”
“Paper trails. After we separated in Los Angeles, I went back to good old Dottie.”
“And opened your wallet again,” she guessed bitterly.
He didn’t deny that, which only added to her misery. “She had some insight to your mother’s life-style, which filled some of the holes.”
“Such as why she dumped me? God, she must have been so angry when my father ditched her and left her saddled with a baby she never wanted.”
“She wasn’t angry, not then. Actually, she was thrilled, because it meant they were equals of a sort. But that was before she told him she was pregnant.”
“He ditched her.”
“He denied knowing her first. Her family disowned her, and by the time you were three, she was broke and pretty furious about it.”
No wonder she’d left Delia at a foster home. She’d probably been reminded of her stupidity every time she looked at her daughter. Delia grimaced and told herself enough of the self-pity.
She had Jacob to think of now—and no way to guarantee custody.
Her eyes burned with that knowledge. Her throat became so tight she couldn’t have spoken her feelings if she’d wanted to.
And Cade’s eyes were on her, dark and compassionate. “Delia,” he whispered in a voice filled with too much pity to take. “Sweetheart, I’m sorry—”
“No,” she whispered, flinching away when he tried to touch her.
“You’ll still get Jacob. You will.”
“Yes,” she said, not knowing if she was reassuring him or herself; either way she didn’t believe it. She was incredibly close to meltdown, closer than she’d been in some time, and she couldn’t have him witness it, not when she wanted to be strong. Needed to be strong. “I…I need to go.”
“But—”
“I… Goodbye.”
And she pushed away and ran from the barn, hoping to make it somewhere private before the tears swimming in her eyes fell.