Chapter 21

There was no reason to hold back now. He'd embraced the changes he'd said he'd make for almost a month now. It was only fair I embrace his needs as well.

His thick hair framed his twinkling eyes and full lips as he gathered my face in his hands and kissed me with passion, and hunger, in my bedroom. It felt as if he was devouring me, mouths connected, tongues mingling. I returned his fervent kiss in kind, drew his tongue into my mouth and sucked him in. Arousal perfumed the air with the thick sweet scent of sex. Lee unzipped my dress and pulled back, then slid his fingers along my collar bones until the dress fell off me and onto the carpet. He flashed me a quick smile then leaned in and kissed my breast along the curve of my bra, then slowly up the side of my neck as he undid the three clasps in the back. I shimmied out of my panties and left them on the floor as I assisted him in removing his clothing.

I surrendered to his maleness as he gently pushed me back onto my bed and lay on top of me, kissing me all the while, slowly at first, then with wild abandon, locking his lips to mine then breaking away and kissing my neck, my breasts, sucking on my nipple to the edge of pain, then back up to my lips again, swallowing me in. He slid to my side, ran his warm, thick hand over my nipples ever so slightly, arousing every part of me, and then buried his fingers in my pubic hair. The aroma of sex spiked and I almost came right then but Lee rolled away, onto his side and turned off the lamp on the bedside table, and I suddenly felt small, shy, ugly. Perhaps he thought my...voluptuous shape was revolting naked.

He rolled back towards me, and then he was on top of me again, his hard mound pushing into my crotch. We slowly worked into a natural rhythm, kissing all the while, and I got lost in the dizzying, touching frenzy until I felt him push inside of me.

"Wait." I pulled back. "We need a condom. Do you have one?"

He didn't answer, just stayed on top of me and continued rotating his hips gently.

"We can't have intercourse without one." My hands were on his chest. I looked into his eyes. The room was so dim they looked like black holes. "I don't want you inside me without a condom. You have any?"

There was a protracted silence. Lee rolled onto his back and for a second I thought he was pissed. "I don't have AIDS, Rachel. I'm not gay, and I've never slept with those kind of people."

"And what kind of people would that be, Lee?"

"You know, high risk people. Gays, bisexuals, heroin users. I don't have AIDS, or any STDs. You're going to have to trust me sooner or later, Ray." Lee pulled the quilt over himself. "Stopped carrying condoms when I was married. Didn't need em. Sharon was on the pill. You don't use birth control?"

"I tried taking the pill but it made me sick, and I haven't used my diaphragm in so long I wouldn't trust it. Shit! I can't believe this. I can go to Ralph's and get some. Take me ten minutes."

He leaned up on one elbow watching me, openly scrutinizing my naked body, the blanket covering him to his waist. "Forget it. Come here," Lee virtually commanded. "No worries, my dear." His tone was softer but I couldn't see his expression with only the soft glow of ambient streetlight. He grabbed me playfully, pulling me to him, pressed up against me as he slipped his hand around the back of my neck and then kissed me while he moved his free hand over my breast, my nipple, then slid his fingers lightly down my stomach and buried them in my pubic hair again. I gasped with pleasure. My breathing quickened. My heart pounded. My body flushed with heat and the scent of sex spiked again.

It took me about five seconds to get off. After the release I giggled with delight, then thanked him. He kissed me again and I sucked him in, reached down and took hold of his hard penis, his length just fitting the width of my hand.

And right then I realized it was Lee trying to hide something with the dark.

I held him, began pumping but he grabbed my wrist and stopped me.

"I'm good. I'll take it from here."

"Give me a chance," I said gently, still rather surprised by how small he was. The few men I'd been with had all been long and lean. I pushed him flat on his back and then ran my lips and the tip of my tongue up and down his short staff, then drew him into my mouth for a moment (something I rarely did to avoid gagging but felt no such threat with his size), and then withdrew, my mouth tight over the tip of his penis as I pulled back, replacing my mouth with my hand again.

Lee groaned. "Oh god," he exclaimed, got hard as a rock though never grew more than four, five inches in length tops before he ejaculated. "Thank you," he said and kissed me lightly.

I scurried off the bed and retrieved a towel from the bathroom. He wiped himself off, then bundled the towel into a tight ball and handed it to me as he pulled the blanket back over him. I tossed it into the laundry basket by the closet door then got back in bed and under the blankets to lay beside him. We snuggled in the afterglow of orgasm. Lee spooned me, put his arm over my side and let his hand rest on my belly. Warmth and contentment enveloped me. I laced my fingers in his. He squeezed my hand and pulled me tight.

"Tell me what names you like for a girl?" he asked.

"A girl, huh?" I played along. "Actually, I wouldn't mind having all boys. I've heard boys are a lot...less complicated than girls. And women really do have it a lot harder then men."

"I'd love a daughter, though, raise her to be strong, and proud, driven like any man, and shatter all the stereotypes of silly, helpless women. How does two boys and one girl sound, like your sister has?"

"OK. Fine. So what names do you like for boys?"

"Well, lets see. I like Benjamin, after Mr Franklin, since he was a pretty cool dude.”

“My first full time job outta college my boss almost raped me at the company Christmas party. He went after his secretary after I kneed him in the crotch. His name was Ben. Benjamin Miller.”

Lee pulled me to him again with a quick squeeze. “How about Thomas then, after our dear friend Edison. Tom for short."

I smiled. "I like Tom, and Tommy's cute for a boy. What about Kyle for our second son?"

"Kyle," he repeated it slowly. "What will his friends call him for short?"

"Ky. Nothing for kids to make fun of with that."

"I like it. Reminds me of a surfer dude. He'll fit right in here."

"I don't want to raise kids in L.A."

"Where do you want to go then?"

"North of San Francisco. Mill Valley, Novato maybe, a smaller, safer community."

"I love it up there. And I can run my business from just about anywhere. That's the beauty of it." He paused to kiss the back of my neck. "You can write, develop photos, build. We'll both have home offices so I can be there for our kids."

His words enchanted. And I was falling in love with idea of us. I wasn't destined to a life of loneliness and financial hardship. The future didn't have to be like the past, or worse if I stayed alone and childless. I could finally move on to what mattered, as all my contemporaries had done, and work at establishing a real life with Lee.

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