BREATHING THE LIGHT

you died gently,

without fighting

what was murdering you.

and maybe that’s

why your death moved

us so deeply. maybe

at the end there your life

seemed a wasted

thing, with three jail

terms behind you,

as you went to

the shop to buy

something with a

twenty-dollar

counterfeit bill.

the store owner

called the cops on

you, for twenty dollars.

i dread to think

how he must feel,

that his call in effect

led to your death.

we make too big a deal

about death.

it comes

and it’s over.

it goes into the air,

into the earth.

it rarely changes life.

but all through that

last hour, as the

police manhandled you,

twisted your arm

behind your back,

forced you to the

ground, and one of

them, the weirdest

of them, stuck his

knee on your wind-

pipe and took no

notice as you

whispered something

sixteen times, the

two other officers

simply stood there,

witnesses to the law

killing the law,

while concerned citizens

attempt intervention,

without power.

you didn’t see all

that. maybe all you saw

were the final moments

of your leap, when

on the school team,

you were going to touch

the sky and touch

the world; your leap

back then, how full

of promise, full

of the power to help

a team win. life

afterwards was a long

fall into the abyss

of america, where

to be black is to make

an early pact

with death, not your

own death, but the death

that’s waiting for you in

the blackness of

america.

maybe you saw all that

or remembered you at

a friend’s wedding

wearing a white suit, tall

like the bridegroom of

aphrodite, tall for

a big destiny, that

eluded you,

year after year,

in the purple

light of the republic.

and all those roads,

all those failed prom-

ises brought you

here, with your neck

beneath the knee

of a policeman,

the breath of life

fading from you

like the fragrance

from the autumn roses.

you called your breath

sixteen times, like

a sad lover, while two

white women filmed

the grim catastrophe

of injustice that bloomed

there in lincoln’s

graveyard, the whole

broken earth of

america.

you didn’t fight

you simply faded as

your breath drifted

away beneath

the knee of justice.

you hadn’t been charged

you hadn’t been tried

you hadn’t been found guilty.

you had not been sentenced

and yet you were

being crushed to

death, while

the whole

world watched.

maybe it’s because you

did not fight, did

not struggle, because you

knew that to resist was

to invite death

from the law. you

learned not to struggle, not

to curse, not to protest,

not to fight back, only

how to die like flotsam

on a receding tide.

it was a kind of love,

your dying. a kind of

gentleness. There’s

no end to the insult

we suffer. when

did it really begin?

but it was that

way you let your

breath go, let it

go sixteen times,

watching it, eyes

slowly dimming,

maybe it was

your doing nothing but

let the heart of

america reveal

itself that was

the greatest way

of speaking, the

greater way of

dying, that brings

down the whole dead

house of race, that

died long ago

in white power,

in black silence,

died but did not

know it, because

of all the guns,

the law, the whole

invisible, inviolate

matrix of sustenance.

but hatred dies

slowly, dies a long time

and maybe will never

die truly as long as

eyes see fear where

heart sees flowers.

what did i ever do

to be hated by you?

and so your death

passed into the

force of history,

because it awakened

the silences

the pain

the injustices that

have been stored up

for four hundred

colourless years.

you died into silence

but the big world

rose up in speech.

there’s no poetry

of change greater

than when the world

sees at last that

it can be free

free to breathe the light that

keeps the republic alive.