Caught in the giant’s clutches gave Wren a feeling of horror much worse than when the bus turned the corner and she realized it was her house that was burning. Back there, her father could buy a new house and solve the problem. Here, there was nothing she could do. A hopelessness so deep—she felt like she was drowning—smothered her soul.
God, please help me. Lord, make this stop!
She was confused, because this was not how the Bible story went. Why was this happening?
“YOU ARE JUST LIKE THOSE ISRAELITES!”
Goliath’s words and foul breath washed over Wren in a sickening wave that crashed over her failing hope. It was bad enough that in the real world she had lost her mother, her house, and basically her father. But now, here in this otherworld, she was about to lose her life too.
Please, God! I can’t do this anymore. It feels like You’ve left me alone. Please help me!
For some reason, at that exact moment, she was overcome by the thought of her mother. She remembered a story her mother had told about a butterfly. Thinking about the story always made her believe that God really does care.
Wren’s mother was a schoolteacher before the cancer came like a thief and took it all away. Rachel Evans taught fifth-graders how to read and write. Mostly she tried to get them excited about learning any chance she got. The school she worked at was smack-dab in the middle of a very low-income section of the city. The parents saw Mrs. Evans as a glorified day-care provider. Whatever she wanted to do with the students was fine by them. As long as she didn’t call and ask for parent-teacher conferences.
It came before the cancer, in hindsight, an omen of sorts. But still it came.
The butterfly.
But before the butterfly, before the cancer, came a blessing named Larissa Willard. Larissa was a teaching assistant who worked with students with special needs. As the story went, Rachel knew of Larissa, but had never met the woman formally. In the four years they had worked in the same school building, Rachel remembered only one time she said hello to Larissa as the two passed in the hallway. Once. Looking back, Rachel was embarrassed to think she wasted all that time.
The following year, Rachel found out that Larissa would be in her classroom assisting a new student. The two ladies struck up a friendship, and Rachel wound up giving Larissa the nickname “Jazz.” Larissa would always bring jazz CDs into the classroom for Rachel to play while the students were doing their daily writing assignment. Rachel quickly fell in love with the melodic sounds of Miles Davis, Thelonious Monk, Duke Ellington, and John Coltrane. The two ladies would laugh at all the stressful things that teaching brought, and they would cry at all the sadness that was thrown their way.
But through it all, Rachel sensed something very different about Jazz. The lady was always talking about Jesus. And not in a preachy sort of way. Larissa talked about Jesus like they were next-door neighbors. She would be talking about how some crazy driver cut her off in traffic and made her blood boil, but then say something like, “You know, Rachel, Jesus was spit on and punched! Can you believe that? The man came to die for me, and the soldiers spit in His face and punched Him. Jesus took all of that for me! Mercy, sister…Jesus helped put my road rage into perspective. I sure do love Him.”
At that time, Rachel didn’t have Jesus in her heart and was curious about the faith Jazz showed. Over lunch, she’d started to ask Jazz questions about the Bible and her faith. Jazz, in return, quoted numerous Bible verses and even prayed for Rachel. And still, none of it came across as weird. For Rachel, listening to Jazz talk about Jesus actually filled her heart with joy.
And then life stepped in and gave Jazz some very bad news.
The doctors told her it was cancer. There was a tumor growing, and things didn’t look promising. Rachel couldn’t believe the news. How could this happen? That was the middle of November.
“Rachel, I’m sorry, but I can’t work anymore. I told them I’m going to try and make it to Thanksgiving, but then I have to resign.”
“Come on, Jazz. Don’t apologize. You’ll be fine.” Rachel wasn’t so sure.
Just a few weeks later, Thanksgiving break came, and Rachel watched her new friend suffer under the ravaging disease.
Things got so bad that on the last day on the job—a rainy Friday before Thanksgiving break—Larissa’s daughter had to walk her to the car. Rachel would never forget standing at the school entrance watching her dear friend shuffle through the falling rain. She felt as if her heart was breaking.
Rachel was frustrated, because she liked to be in control of things. Everything in Jazz’s life had come undone, and Rachel couldn’t do a thing to stop the cancer.
What Rachel didn’t know until later was that Larissa had left a page of Bible verses on Rachel’s desk with a note on it. The note said for Rachel not to worry, because Jazz knew who her Great Physician was. Larissa also said that she hoped the verses would bless Rachel while the two were apart.
A month passed.
More rain fell, and more lessons were learned, but Rachel still wondered how God could be a part of Larissa’s pain.
And then came Christmas.
Rachel received a call from Larissa. The doctors had not only removed all the cancer but gave her a clean bill of health. Jazz was going to come back to work after the New Year.
When Jazz returned, it was like a whole new person took over her body. Rachel couldn’t believe how revitalized her friend looked and acted. It was nothing short of a miracle.
Rachel was ready.
For Jesus.
Right there in the classroom, while the students were at music class, Rachel held Larissa’s hands and prayed for Jesus to come into her heart and take over. And then the craziest thing happened. A beautiful butterfly with yellow and black wings fluttered into the classroom and landed right on Rachel and Larissa’s clasped hands. They stood there for what felt like an eternity, just staring at the gorgeous and delicate creature.
When the kids came back from music, Rachel let go of Larissa’s hands, and the butterfly took flight.
Exactly one year from that beautiful, life-changing experience, Wren’s mother was diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer.
Three months later she was gone.
At the cemetery, Wren was holding her father’s hand as they listened to their pastor preach about God’s love and strength in times of ultimate sadness. And then a yellow and black butterfly came and landed on their clasped hands.
That’s when Wren knew that God cared about His children. And that no matter how bad things may be, God is good. And just like this butterfly, He sends signs to His loved ones so they will know they are never alone.
The memory of the butterfly didn’t make the giant go away, but it did help Wren keep her faith in God. The butterfly in both memories helped her have the courage to keep believing.
Goliath’s mean face stared at her. She felt like a fly who was about to be swatted out of its misery.
She tried to wriggle free of the giant’s grip, but it was pointless. His fingers were like a vise.
But, if Larissa Willard could trust God with the cancer, and her mother could trust God with her soul, Wren could trust God to deal with this impossible situation. Because God, in her mind, was indeed bigger than the giants.