• eighteen •

“Something a touch larger.”

Rumor

There had been no Sunday breakfast due to storm cleanup, and I wasn’t sure if I was relieved that I didn’t have to face King or disappointed. He’d not been back since he had run out three days ago after I thought he might kiss me. I had found myself looking for his truck and going outside more often than normal.

Yesterday, there had been someone out, riding a horse, and I had watched them for over an hour. Something about the way the rider sat on the horse reminded me of King. I had been sure it was him, but if it had been, he’d have ridden over to the fence and spoken to me, right?

I had replayed the scene on the sofa a million times, it seemed. He’d looked at me as if he was going to kiss me. He stared at my lips like he wanted to. Or had it all been in my head? Had it been me wanting him to kiss me so badly that I imagined he wanted the same? It was driving me crazy, thinking about it. If he had wanted to, wouldn’t he have stayed or at least come back to see me?

None of this was making sense, and the more I worried over it, the more I began to realize it was pointless.

He knew what I’d done. He knew I was married. I shook my head, attempting to clear my thoughts. Stop thinking about King. Why would I even allow myself to think about a man after what I had lived through? It was careless.

Today, I needed to do some laundry. That was productive. It was something other than thinking about King. It would keep me from thinking about texting him. Although he had mentioned that he expected me to. Perhaps I should.

NO! I had to stop this.

I would wash the clothes, although I had to get them to Maeme’s somehow. That would be a reason to contact him. But seeing as he hadn’t stopped by, I feared he was avoiding me. Walking a mile, carrying my clothing, didn’t sound like a good idea. I considered washing them by hand and using the clothing line out back to dry them as I stood on the front porch with my cup of coffee.

A new horse and rider were out today, and it sounded as if they were getting closer. I turned to watch and realized they were headed directly for the fence that separated us. Maybe that was him. Curious, I stepped down the stairs just as they reached the wooden barrier. The rider reached up and took off his cowboy hat, then waved at me.

Sebastian Shephard. I hadn’t seen him again since the library.

I waved back just as he motioned for me to come over. I set my cup down on the railing, then made my way down the stairs and across the yard. Sebastian had put his hat back on his head and was saying something to the horse as he leaned down over it.

“How’d you like the book?” he asked me when I was close enough.

“It was fascinating. I read it in one day,” I admitted. But then I’d been reading most books in one day lately. I had enough time for it.

He was clearly pleased to hear it. His smile said as much.

“What book are you reading now?”

“Of Mice and Men,” I replied. I had read it before, back in high school, but I was curious as to how I would enjoy it now.

“Guy don’t need no sense to be a nice fella. Seems to me sometimes it jus’ works the other way around. Take a real smart guy and he ain’t hardly ever a nice fella,” Sebastian said, quoting a line from the book.

“Impressive,” I said, surprised that he remembered the words like that. I read a lot, but there weren’t many quotes I could pull up from memory. I could recognize quotes most of the time.

He shrugged. “Why don’t you come with me to see the horses?” He patted the massive black one he was on. “Sword here is a beauty, but we’ve got more where he came from. Even a new colt.”

I chewed on my bottom lip nervously. I wasn’t sure he knew about me. King did, and Maeme did. What if Sebastian didn’t watch the news and someone in his stables did? I would draw attention to myself. As much as I wanted to see the stables and the horses, I couldn’t do that to him or Maeme…or King.

I shook my head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. I need to stay back here…hidden.” I stopped, not sure how much he knew about my still being at Maeme’s.

“There’s a gate behind the trees in the backyard. I’ll get you from there, and we will head over to the stables. No one will see you who could cause you any harm,” he assured me.

“I’d need to talk to Maeme about that. She…she’s being really kind, letting me stay here, and I’m not sure what all you know, but I don’t want to cause any problems for her,” I explained, hoping that would be enough to stop his pushing for me to go over there.

He smiled at me then and leaned forward slightly. “I’ve already cleared it with Maeme. And I know why you’re here. There are no secrets in the family. Besides, if we all know, then we can all protect you. Being with me is as safe as being here in this house.”

I stared up at him, not sure if I should even be surprised anymore. They all knew I had left my husband bleeding out from a gunshot wound? They were all okay with that? Just because I’d had some broken ribs and a bruised face?

“Walk right on back there, and I’ll meet you,” he coaxed.

I hesitated, but the slight pleading look in his eyes, as if he wasn’t sure if I was going to do it or not, and the thought of going to the stables won me over.

I nodded. “Okay, but I don’t think I’m ready to ride a horse.”

The smile that broke out across his face made me glad I’d agreed. “Probably a bad idea with your ribs. I’ll get down, and we will walk him back.”

I nodded, and then he turned the horse and rode him back around the circular pen. While I walked around to the backyard, I watched where he was going so I would know where the gate was located. I considered going inside to text Maeme, but I didn’t think that Sebastian would lie about having asked her already. Trusting was something I struggled with and had sworn I wouldn’t do again. But this family had helped me in a way no one else could. If I was going to trust again, they were the ones I should do it with.

By the time I reached the gate, Sebastian was there, standing against the fence opening. His horse obediently stood back behind him, and although I was sure that I wouldn’t be charged by the horse, it still made me nervous, being this close to it without a barrier between us. I shifted my focus between the thoroughbred and Sebastian.

He held out a hand to me. “Come on. I swear you’re safe. Sword looks like a beast, but he’s a good boy. Well trained.”

I took a step toward Sebastian and looked down at his hand, but didn’t take it. Holding hands with him wasn’t something I was comfortable with. He seemed to understand and dropped his hand back to his side, then closed and latched the gate behind me.

“It’s a bit of a walk, but you can see the horses out along the way,” he told me.

My curiosity about the Shephard Ranch got my attention, and I fell into step beside him. The horse walked on his other side, slightly behind us. I fought the urge to look back and see if he was watching me.

“How many horses do you have?” I asked Sebastian.

“Right now, we have twelve thoroughbreds that we own, five that are boarded, and a few quarter horse mares,” he told me. “Although I believe we are selling a thoroughbred this week. We raised it to sell. He isn’t a champion, but he will hold his own in a race.”

He pointed toward a large circular path that was about one hundred feet away from us. I looked in that direction and saw a horse being ridden so fast that dust was flying behind them as the rider leaned down low over the horse.

“That’s Bloodline, who we hope is our Preakness Stakes winner. Carmen, our best jockey, is on him today,” Sebastian explained.

I had no knowledge of horse racing, but I was assuming Preakness Stakes was a race. I simply nodded, watching in amazement at the speed they were going. We continued walking, but I kept glancing back over to the two, even after the jockey slowed the horse down.

“Is this what your family does? I mean, as a job. You raise horses?” I asked, curious as to how someone could afford to have all this land and horses.

He shrugged. “Yeah, but I mean, we own other things too,” he replied vaguely, and I decided not to push.

But what other things did they own? I would be lying if I said I wasn’t interested in this.

Up ahead, a stunning house came into view. It appeared to be built of multicolored rocks and had a thatched roof with several gables.

“Is that your house?” I asked, squinting so I could see it better.

He laughed. “No. That’s the stables. Well, the main one. There are two other buildings, but you can’t see them from here. They are on each side of that one, making the shape of a U.”

I stopped walking and stared at him.

When he realized I wasn’t beside him, he paused and looked back at me. “What is it?”

I pointed at the building. “THAT is a stable?”

He grinned while he nodded his head. “Yeah.”

I stared, agape, at the sight. “If that is where you house horses, what kind of house do you live in?” I asked him.

He cleared his throat as I looked back at him.

With a tilt of his head, he raised his eyebrows slightly. “Something a touch larger,” he replied.

Why did I think it was much more than a touch larger?

I started walking again. I had thought the house I’d lived in with Churchill was big, but it wasn’t as impressive as the stables here. These people had to be billionaires. But with horses? Really? You could be that wealthy, racing thoroughbreds? Clearly, I was clueless about this world. When he had said they owned other things, I was wondering if he meant hotel chains, banks, shopping malls, that sort of thing.

“Why do you need so much room for the horses?” There had to be more than horse stalls inside that mansion.

He rubbed his smooth jawline and sighed. “Well, there is a mudroom, laundry room, tack room, and two different office spaces. One for the stable manager and one for us to use. A game room with a bar, where we host parties sometimes. A large patio with a hot tub and firepit is in the center of the three buildings. Two bedrooms upstairs with private en suites, a gym, a full kitchen with a dining area large enough to feed twenty or so. And of course, the most important thing, twenty-five horse stalls.”

“Wow,” I breathed. I hadn’t imagined that stables would consist of all that.

We were getting closer, and I noticed the area was surrounded by bricked paving. Red brick flooring all around the outside. Someone called out to Sebastian, and he raised a hand to wave, but he didn’t stop. I could see a man wearing a black cowboy hat coming out of the side of the first building with a large brown horse behind him.

Another man walked over and took the reins from Sebastian, then led Sword in the opposite direction.

I was in complete awe by the time we reached the doors to the stables. They stood over twelve feet tall and were rounded at the top, wooden, with a hand-carved design of some kind of symbol on each one. Sebastian reached for the black iron curved handle and pulled it open, then held it for me to walk inside.

To say the inside was more breathtaking than the outside was an understatement. This place was fit for royalty. I stood there, turning in a slow circle, looking at everything I could and feeling as if I would never see it all.

“Let me take you to the game room, and we can get a drink. You probably should sit down after that walk. I don’t want Maeme mad at me for causing you to do too much with your ribs healing,” he said.

I wanted to argue and continue on a tour of the place, but I simply nodded. A drink would be nice, and my side was hurting more than it had been the past few days. As we made our way down the center of the place, I tried not to miss a thing. The ceilings were high, but they were smooth wooden planks, much like a hardwood floor would look. Ceiling fans and recessed lighting were scattered about in a pattern, but the center of the open area was a gorgeous chandelier. Not what you’d expect in stables.

“The colt is just up ahead. We will go there after you sit for a few,” Sebastian informed me. “This way,” he then instructed, turning right and toward a door smaller than the front doors but identical in looks. All the doors inside were.

A woman’s scream stopped me. I turned my head toward the door we had just passed, and my heart began to slam against my ribs wildly. Another scream. I took a step back and sucked in a breath. What was happening?

“OH GOD, YES!” she shouted loudly.

I frowned. She’d been screaming in pain, hadn’t she? Now, she sounded as if she were…

“Sorry about that. Just keep moving. Seems someone needed to let off steam,” Sebastian replied, and I turned to him to see he was trying not to smile.

Another scream of pain. I tensed. Something bad was happening. No one screamed like that from pleasure.

“She’s fine. I promise. I know it sounds bad, but she’s enjoying it. He wouldn’t be doing it if she wasn’t. Let’s go,” he said to me, then pulled open the door and waved his hand for me to enter.

I wasn’t sure I should be here. No one enjoyed being hurt. Screaming was not a good thing. Did she need help? I shouldn’t have come here. I started to back away and shake my head. I couldn’t run.

“HARDER, SIR!” the female voice shouted.

My eyes flew open wider as I stared at the door. What on earth was happening in there?

“Come on, Rumor. Trust me, that’s going to just get more intense,” Sebastian told me.

More intense? I shook my head, not understanding any of this, and turned to look at him.

“What…why is she screaming?” My voice was barely above a whisper.

He let out a heavy sigh. “Because she likes rough sex. Being tied up and whipped is my guess since that is supposed to be a tack room. But I swear to you that she went in there willingly and wanting it. They always do,” he said, then gave me an apologetic smile. “I didn’t know he was in there, or I wouldn’t have brought you this way.”

Who was he? I started to ask and stopped myself. I didn’t want to know. I just wanted to leave.

“Come on. You can’t hear that in here, and you need to sit down. Rest a bit.”

Unsure, I stared at the inside of the room as he waited for me to move. Leaving would be dramatic, and I did want to see the rest of the place. But why would someone want to be whipped and tied up? I didn’t understand that at all.

Finally, I gave in and went into the game room. When the door closed behind Sebastian, the sounds of the woman were gone. I wanted to forget what I had heard, and I also wanted to get an explanation for it. I knew people had rough sex and did kinky things. I hadn’t been living under a rock. But I didn’t realize it was so painful that it would cause someone to scream like that. Wasn’t it about pleasure ultimately? Did she truly want to be hurt?

“What can I fix you to drink? I have everything you could want,” he told me, walking over to the bar setup, equivalent to that at a nice restaurant.

Was there anything this place didn’t have?

“Water,” I replied.

“Still or sparkling?” he asked me as he stepped behind the bar and went to take a glass off the rack.

“Sparkling.”

While he proceeded to fix drinks, I took in the room. It was the size of my cottage. A pool table, a black leather sectional sofa, a screen that covered the left wall—which I assumed was supposed to be a television maybe, although I’d never seen one like that. A fireplace that was so large that it almost covered the back wall with four black leather chairs set around it. Then a round card table with eight chairs surrounding it sat in the center of the room.

“Here you go,” Sebastian said as he came up beside me. “Let’s go sit down.”

I took the glass from him and took a sip as I followed him to the sectional sofa. He motioned for me to take a seat, then sat opposite of me, giving me plenty of space. I appreciated it. The things I’d heard were still making me jittery. I didn’t like that a woman was being whipped across the way from us. Even if she wanted to be.

Realizing I hadn’t thanked Sebastian for my water, I started to when the door to the game room opened, and I was left speechless. A shirtless King walked inside with a pair of jeans hanging on his hips enough to show off a very impressive set of abs. He was barefoot as well and appeared to be sweating, as if he’d just worked out. As I sat, stunned by the view, unable to stop looking at him, he headed toward the bar before glancing in our direction. When his eyes met mine, he stopped and studied me for a moment.

“Lost some of your clothing, have you?” Sebastian asked him.

King swung his gaze to Sebastian. “What is Rumor doing here?” The way he said it sounded as if he was angry about my coming here.

Was I not supposed to leave the house?

“I broke her free. Maeme knows,” he replied, then smirked before taking a drink from his glass.

King looked back at me, and his jaw clenched before he continued toward the bar. “I see,” he finally bit out.

He wasn’t happy about me being here. I didn’t like that feeling. King was always so nice. I hadn’t meant to do something to upset him.

“I-I can leave,” I stammered, standing up.

“Sit down,” Sebastian told me. “Ignore him. I do.”

That might be the case, but I didn’t sit back down. If King didn’t want me here, then I didn’t want to be here. I could find my way back to the gate behind the cottage. I didn’t need anyone to walk me there. King grabbed something under the counter and then stood back up. His eyes cut back to me. The look in his eyes made me nervous. I should have stayed at the cottage.

“Sit,” he barked, and I started to do just that but stopped myself.

What was wrong with me being here? This was Sebastian’s stables. Not King’s. He didn’t decide who came here, and Maeme had said it was okay.

I narrowed my eyes as I looked at him and straightened my shoulders. “If I sit, then I will do so because I want to. Not because you ordered me to so rudely.”

I heard a smothered laugh from Sebastian, but I didn’t take my eyes off King.

He walked back from behind the bar with a longneck bottle of beer in his hand. His eyes stayed locked on me as he studied me. I felt my heart begin to race, and I questioned if it was smart to talk to a man his size that way. Sebastian wasn’t wimpy by any means, but King was taller, broader, and his arms were…well, his arms were thick and corded with defined muscle. I couldn’t tell what the tattoo on his left biceps was, but it wasn’t unappealing.

“And do you want to sit?” he asked me before taking a long pull from the bottle while keeping his eyes on mine.

I swallowed hard, unsure of what I should say next. Should I apologize? No. Absolutely not. Just because I was currently feeling a little lightheaded from the sight of King and his perfectly sculpted body didn’t mean I had to allow him to boss me around.

“I came here with Sebastian to see his stables. So, yes, I believe I do,” I replied and sat back down. I could feel Sebastian watching me, but I was unable to stop looking at King.

A slight twitch of his lips was the only softening on his face. He didn’t actually smile, but it seemed like he wanted to. “Then, by all means, sit.”

“That’s enough, King,” Sebastian said from where he still sat, leaned back with his right ankle propped on his left knee and one of his arms stretched out over the back of the sofa.

King shifted his attention to Sebastian. “I thought you were leaving today.”

“Change of plans,” he replied.

King’s entire body seemed tense as he stared hard at Sebastian, but he said nothing. I felt as if they were having a silent conversation. Were they cousins? This family that Maeme had was confusing, and no one had actually cleared up who was who for me.

The door opened behind King, and I watched as an attractive blonde woman with long, straight hair draped over one shoulder walked inside. She had on a pair of minuscule cutoff jeans and a black crop top that showed her flat, tanned stomach and pierced navel. Her eyes went directly to King, and she smiled before sauntering in his direction.

“You were taking too long,” she said, running a hand up his tattooed biceps.

King glanced at me, and for a moment, I saw what I thought was regret in his gaze before it dropped to meet hers. “I didn’t tell you that you could get up, did I?” he asked in a hard tone that startled me.

She shook her head and stepped back from him, then dropped her gaze to the floor. “No, sir. I’m sorry,” she replied softly.

He reached up and ran his hand over her head, as if to reassure her. “Go back to where I left you and wait.”

She nodded. “Yes, sir,” she replied before turning and leaving the room quickly, without another word or glance in our direction.

“All right, Rumor, let’s you and I go on that tour, shall we?” Sebastian said a little too brightly.

I lifted my gaze to his. A sick knot formed in my stomach as a slow understanding of what I had just witnessed began to connect. The screaming had been her. King had been in there with her. That was why he was shirtless, barefoot, and sweaty. He’d been…beating her?

The smile on Sebastian’s face didn’t mask the apology in his eyes. He hadn’t wanted me to know who had been in that room. I trusted King. He’d saved me. Brought me here. They all knew that.

Did Maeme know he did that to women? And why would he do it? What was the purpose? Was he like Hill? Did he like hitting women?

I was unable to stand up.

The sound of a door slamming made me jump, and I spilled water over the rim of my glass as my eyes swung back to the door. King was gone. He had left.

“I’m sorry about that. With what you went through, that shit has to strike a chord. He’s not mad at you. He’s upset that you heard it,” Sebastian told me, stepping in front of me. “Come on. There’s a lot more to see.”

I shook my head and sucked in a deep breath. “No. I…I think I want to walk back to the cottage. If you don’t mind,” I told him, standing up and holding my glass out for him to take.

As he took it, he sighed heavily. “I understand. I’ll walk you back.”

“No,” I blurted. “I want to go alone. I’ll be fine. I remember the way.”

“Rumor, I’m not going to hurt you. No one is. I swear it.”

I nodded. “I know. I just…I just want to go back alone.”

He looked at me as if he wanted to argue, but finally stepped back. “I get it.”

Good, because I didn’t. None of what I had just learned made sense. Sure, the girl hadn’t been bruised, nor did she walk as if she were in pain, but I had heard her screaming. He’d talked to her like a child. Sebastian had said she was being tied up and whipped. That was all something that made no sense to me. I had assumed people who did that were role-playing. Not actually causing someone real pain. It was a kink thing that I would never get. But the whole control thing I’d seen was unhealthy. Wrong.

I started toward the door and paused to glance back at Sebastian. “Thank you for bringing me,” I told him, feeling rude about the way I was running off.

He set our glasses down and smiled at me. “He only does it to women who want it. He doesn’t force anyone.”

He was defending King. Okay, fine.

“Women want that? She was screaming,” I pointed out.

Sebastian shrugged. “I don’t get it either. I’d be lying if I said I did. But trust me, King has never had an issue with finding women to do his bidding. Sometimes, he has a couple doing it at the same time. They like it. He chooses them carefully.” He stopped and shook his head. “Look, I shouldn’t be talking to you about this. It’s his business. Not mine. I just don’t want you to be terrified of him. He would never touch you that way or any way. He knows what you’ve been through and that you aren’t the kind of woman who would be on board with that shit. He will always treat you respectfully.”

So many different things were racing through my head. I wasn’t sure which one to be most concerned about. Was it that King did those things to women during sex, or that he liked doing it with more than one at a time…or that I was someone he’d never touch? I had thought for a moment the other night that he was going to kiss me. I’d wanted it too. It had shocked me and excited me. But he was never going to kiss me.

I masked the disappointment and managed a tight smile.

“I understand,” I told him, although I really didn’t. Not at all.