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LEXIE CAME ALERT AT the familiar sound of the powerful Pratt & Whitney engine. She’d relaxed during the short wait and had found herself daydreaming. Dangerous, but so easy to do when it came to Jesse Cooper. The trouble with their relationship – if it could be called a trouble – was that she’d ‘known’ him for so much longer than he’d known her. Watching him all that time through the plate glass of the fitness studio might not count to some, but she realized now that she’d been hungering after him in the same way a parched man seeks a cool drink of water. The way he moved, his confidence, the way he smiled... those images were seared in her memory and it was unlikely she’d ever forget them.
Her anger still bubbled under the surface, but it was mixed with sadness now. Sadness that she’d never get to know the only man who’d interested her all these years. Would he even remember her a few years from now? Probably not... especially if the newspapers were to be believed.
There was a slight chop on the waters of the cove, but Jesse landed the Beaver with the assurance he displayed in everything he did. He didn’t look for her until he’d tied off, and then he turned and looked straight at her, as though he’d known she’d be waiting in that precise spot.
A brief nod indicated that he’d seen her, and he climbed the path with those long, powerful legs that made short work of the steep slope. Her traitorous heart banged against her rib cage as he stood before her, eyes glittering as a slight breeze rumpled his hair.
“I’m sorry, Lexie.” He regarded her steadily. “I’m sorry you had to find out that way. The guy’s not only a cheat, he’s a complete ass for coming here.”
“This isn’t about Chris, Jesse. This is about you.” She wasn’t sure what she’d expected, but it wasn’t the flash of irritation she saw in his eyes. She continued anyway.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” She pointed angrily to the deck. “You sat beside me up there while I told you I’d worked at the Bistro, and you didn’t say a word. Why, Jesse? Just tell me that... why?”
“Because you were telling me things I need to hear. Both about the Bistro and about yourself. I considered stopping you a couple of times, but to be honest, I was learning things about the restaurant I needed to hear. And then I got that phone call about Luc, and all bets were off.”
“Okay. I’ll give you that, but you had other opportunities... other chances to tell me. And then to take me there last night! I’m beyond mortified.”
“Why, Lexie?” He braced one foot on the rock and leaned forward. “Why? Are you ashamed of being seen with me?”
“Don’t be silly.” He was turning this all around. “You used me, Jesse. You used me to find out about Chris, and I don’t appreciate it.”
“I don’t recall asking you about him, or about the restaurant for that matter. Anything you told me was purely voluntary.” He leaned closer and pinned her with his gaze. “And before you ask me why I didn’t stop you then, it was because you were confirming for me what I’d suspected for a few months. I may not know about the restaurant business, Lexie, but I know when I’m being screwed by my employees.” His expression softened. “Fortunately, it was just Chris and one other, but I don’t tolerate stealing.”
“That’s another thing,” she said. “Why in the world did you buy a restaurant when you admit you know nothing about running one? Even someone like you in an unrelated business must know that restaurants have a high mortality rate.”
“I won it in a poker game.”
“You what?”
“I won it in a poker game.” He shoved his hands in his back pockets. “Okay, that’s not exactly how it happened.”
“See? You’re incapable of telling the truth.”
Anger flashed in his eyes. “I’ve never lied to you, Lexie. Withheld the truth maybe, but I’ve never lied.”
“It’s the same thing.”
“No. It’s. Not.” A muscle in his jaw clenched. “Do you want to hear about this or not?”
She shrugged.
“Well you’re damned well going to hear it. You’re right, I don’t know anything about the restaurant business, and the truth is I didn’t want the Bistro. But a friend of mine owned it and he put it up as collateral in a poker game. When he couldn’t pay up, he turned to me for a loan.” He looked away, unable to meet her eyes. “Turned out he wasn’t such a good friend. He walked away and left me with the restaurant. That was six months ago, right about the time Luc came into my life.” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “I still can’t believe he went all in with a pair of fours.”
“So what else do you own?” she challenged. “A winery? A cheese farm? Or is this diner your only other folly? Come on, Jesse, what else are you waiting to spring on me?”
He glared at her. “What do you want from me, Lexie? I said I’m sorry for not telling you. What more do you want?”
Desperation tinged her voice. “I’ve been used and manipulated all my life, Jesse. I thought when I found you I’d found somebody different.” She dropped her head. “I guess not.”
“Well that’s where you’re wrong, Lexie Swinton.” He prodded himself in the chest with a forefinger. “You think you know who I am, but you don’t know me at all.” He took a few steps away, then turned abruptly. “That first day we met, you said you know me, but the truth is, you only know what you see through the window at that fitness place you go to. You’re safe up there on your treadmill, pretending to know what I’m like, maybe even indulging in a fantasy or two about the pilot, but you have no idea who I am. I’m not some slick businessman in a three-piece suit. I didn’t go to Harvard Business School or any other damn school. I don’t belong to the Union Club. I’m just an ordinary guy. I make mistakes, and when I do, they’re usually epic. But I never lie... ever.” His gaze darted around the Cove, taking in the trees, the diner, the cabins. “I’m me, Lexie. A guy who’s a bit rough around the edges, but not afraid of hard work. I’m someone who knows what he wants and goes after it.” He stood there for a moment, breathing deeply and looking at her. “And I want you” he said, his voice a soft caress.
They were the words she’d ached to hear, but they’d come too late. Especially with Chris’ words still echoing in her head.
She steeled herself to look at him. “Just tell me this, Jesse. Why did you pretend to care?” If she could understand that, maybe this whole experience would have been worthwhile.
“Pretend? Didn’t you hear what I just said? I’m falling in love with you.”
She shook her head. “I don’t think so, Jesse.”
“What are you talking about?” He walked around in a circle.
Lexie seized the opportunity to stand. If he reached for her, she wouldn’t be able to resist.
“You should check your Victoria papers more often.”
“And why would I do that?” Something shifted behind his eyes.
Lexie exhaled a long, slow breath of air. “I know about your girlfriend, Jesse. The two of you make an attractive couple.”
“My girlfriend?” He held up both hands in a gesture of appeal.
“Yes. I believe her name is Sylvia.”
He closed his eyes for a moment. “Sylvia MacMillan isn’t my girlfriend.”
“Maybe you should tell her that.”
He glared at her and opened his mouth to speak, but she cut him off.
“I cared about you, Jesse. I cared a lot.” She almost choked on a sob. “But when I love someone, I don’t share him with other women. At least not knowingly.”
She turned and walked quickly between the rocks, the path blurry through her tears. She listened for him to call her back and God help her, she would have gone, but the only sound was the high piercing call of an eagle. She climbed into her car and was headed north within moments.
* * *
JESSE CLENCHED HIS teeth to keep from calling out to her. Watching her walk away was one of the hardest things he’d ever had to do, but the truth was he was afraid of what he might say. He didn’t know if he was angrier at himself for not telling her earlier, or at her for suggesting he’d used her. He slumped down on the rock she’d occupied and tried to think rationally... and honestly. Was there any truth in her accusations? Had he failed to tell her so she would offer her unique perspective on the operation of the Bistro? Possibly, but it wasn’t as if he’d hunted her down. She’d appeared here at the diner out of the blue, and had volunteered the information.
He should have told her last night, as he’d originally planned, but the conversation had taken a personal turn when they started to exchange life stories. He hadn’t wanted to ruin the intimacy of the evening. Understandable, but look where that had landed him!
As he sat there, the anger slowly leaked out of him, and was replaced by a grim determination. He’d give her a few days to calm down, and then he’d hunt her down. He hadn’t built several successful businesses by taking no for an answer, and he wasn’t about to start now. He looked in the direction she’d taken, and a slow smile spread across his face. What had she said as she was leaving? ‘...when I love someone, I don’t share him with other women.’ He rose, brushed off the back of his jeans and started down toward the Beaver. It was a start... something to hang onto.
It would have to be enough.
* * *
IT WAS LATE AFTERNOON by the time Lexie pulled up to the motel in Qualicum Beach. She smiled politely as the room clerk enthused about how lucky she was to get a cancellation at the last minute. At this point, all she wanted to do was kick off her shoes, change clothes and get out on the beach. She’d bought some beach wear at a no-name store along the highway to supplement her meagre wardrobe of work clothes. Driving the last few miles to the motel, she’d had some spectacular views of the beach. The tide was out, revealing miles of hard packed sand. There was so much of it that even though there were a lot of tourists out walking, it wasn’t crowded. Just what she needed to clear her mind.
She unpacked quickly, setting the few personal items she’d brought with her on the vanity in the bathroom. They looked pitiful sitting there on the expansive surface. Odd how they’d seemed right at home on the compact little shelves she’d been utilizing in her cabin at Arbutus Cove.
She had to stop thinking like this. She’d come here to clear her head and plan her future, not dwell on her past mistakes.
A low set of steps led down to the beach. With the lowering sun at her back, she set out. The outgoing tide revealed sculpted ripples in the sand. Small pockets of water remained in random low spots and she headed for them like a four-year old, splashing her way through with no consideration for her clothes. This is what she needed, and the tension of the day disappeared like the tiny creatures skittering for their burrows in the sand.
She turned to look back, surprised at how far she had come. The tide was turning now, lapping at her feet, the water warmed by the residual heat of the sun on the sand. Moving laterally along the beach, it occurred to her that she should have done this the day she left the Bistro. Getting involved with the diner so quickly had been a mistake.
Or had it? It could be argued that discovering the diner had been one of the best things to happen to her in ages. While it pained her to think that nothing would come of her relationship with Jesse, she’d experienced the short-lived joy of seeing Carly and Brandon become excited about their futures. She had no doubt that they would both succeed, but she’d been looking forward to being even a small part of their success – and of the other young people from the community who would benefit from the re-opening of the Youth Centre.
She’d given herself a lot to think about, but then wasn’t that why she’d come here? To get out of her own way and let life ebb and flow around her, like the inescapable movement of the tides.
* * *
LEXIE WAS BEGINNING to think that perhaps her mother was right. The famous soprano had often extolled the healing powers of spas in Europe, especially those at the seaside. Lexie had never been invited to accompany her mother, who preferred to recover from strenuous tours in what she termed ‘luxurious aloneness’. At the time, the exclusion had hurt the young Lexie, but she began to understand it now. During the week she spent on Qualicum Beach, she rarely spoke to anyone, preferring her own thoughts as she came to terms with her present situation.
In spite of her lingering anger at Jesse, she began to accept his point of view. And after much soul-searching, she admitted that she missed him more than she’d ever thought possible. Sitting on a beach towel, staring out at the Coast Mountains, she spoke the words out loud for the first time. “I love him,” she murmured, reveling in the warm glow that suffused her body. “I love him,” she said, louder this time. The words wound around her heart and she threw back her head and laughed with abandon, freed by the admission. Like the sand castles erected daily by carefree children, the walls around her heart crumbled, and she dared to dream of what might be.
Grabbing her backpack to use as a pillow under her head, she felt something hard. Curious, she stuck her hand in one of the pockets and came out with the keychain Luc had given her. What must he be thinking about her disappearance? The last thing the young boy needed was another adult disappearing from his life. Eyes brimming with tears, she clasped the piece of driftwood in her hands and promised herself that no matter what, she’d see him at least once more. As for Jesse, she could only hope it wasn’t too late to make a fresh start.
* * *
“WE’RE SORRY TO SEE you go, but we hope you enjoyed your visit.” The room clerk eyed Lexie curiously as she checked out.
“Thank you,” said Lexie with a smile. “It’s been exactly what I needed.”
“A lot of our guests say that,” murmured the room clerk as she watched Lexie pull out of the parking lot.
Lexie pulled through the gates of Golden Valley Farm an hour and a half later. Off the main highway, the farm resembled something out of a fairy tale. A stream meandered through the valley, widened in several spots where livestock went down to drink, lifting their heads as she drove by.
“Welcome to Golden Valley Farm.” An attractive blonde woman greeted her as she entered the small retail area. “My name is Anneke.”
Lexie shook the extended hand. “I’m Lexie Swinton.” A flash of recognition crossed the other woman’s face. “I used to work at Bistro Provencal in Victoria.”
“Ah yes. How nice to finally meet you.”
Surprised by the warmth of the greeting, Lexie continued. “I came to apologize for everything that happened. You and your husband have been good to us, and I feel partly responsible.”
A small frown marred the other woman’s face, then she brightened as a man entered the room from the back. “This is my husband, Jan. Jan, this is the chef from Bistro Provencal.”
Pale blue eyes assessed her frankly. “Thank you for sorting everything out so quickly,” he said, pumping her hand vigorously. “Anneke and I didn’t know what we were going to do if we lost your business.”
Lexie shook her head. “I don’t work there anymore. I only stopped by to apologize, but I don’t understand. Has everything been resolved?”
“Yes.” He turned to his wife. “About a week ago, wasn’t it?”
She nodded.
“Your Mr...” He turned to his wife again.
“Mr. Cooper.”
“Right. Your Mr. Cooper came and sorted everything out. As a matter of fact, we talked about the dangers of putting all our eggs in one basket. Mr. Cooper encouraged us to find other customers.” He gave her a sheepish smile. “Something we should have done long ago, but this was a lesson well learned.”
Lexie looked around as though Jesse might pop out from behind one of the pieces of equipment. “Jesse came here?”
“Yes. We had a nice visit and showed him around.”
“Oh.” Lexie couldn’t think of anything else to say. “That’s good then.” She checked her watch. “I should get going if I’m going to make it to Victoria by tonight.”
“Terrible traffic,” said Anneke, following her outside. “Drive carefully.” She waved at the departing car and her husband came to stand beside her. “That was strange,” she said, half to herself.
“I was thinking the same thing,” he said, raising his hand in farewell. “But I have a feeling they’ll work it out.”
