Charlie ended up putting in extra hours at the clinic. A flu outbreak swept through the schools, and she and Josh doubled up their hours so that whenever one was taking appointments, the other was working walk-in or administering flu shots. The lead up to Christmas was anything but relaxing, and it was only Meggie’s help with babysitting that kept her afloat. She managed to package Lizzie’s presents and ship them off, with a promise to visit for a weekend in the new year. As the virus spread, Josh and Charlie saw increased numbers of senior citizens presenting with the same symptoms that often progressed to bronchitis or pneumonia, both of which required more than simple rest and fluids.
By December 18, it hit Charlie and laid her flat for three days of fever, chills, and a hoarse cough. She spent her downtime on the sofa with a soft blanket, drinking hot lemon and honey and sleeping whenever Daniel saw fit to nap too. Because he was so small, she took particular care with hand washing, praying he didn’t come down with it too. And during her waking hours she spent way too much time thinking. Thinking about Dave, and how everything had gone wrong, and how for the first time in several years she’d fancied herself in love.
How could that be? She’d always believed a big component of being in love was being loved in return. That it wasn’t one-sided. But he certainly hadn’t loved her. Liked her, yes. Enjoyed her company, yes.
But he hadn’t been a fool like her. She replayed moments in her mind: how they’d look into each other’s eyes, the way he kissed, how he’d laugh at something and tilt his head back just a little bit. The way he raised one eyebrow just a little before he said something sarcastic, and the way only one dimple popped when he smiled.
She’d been smitten. No doubt about it. And she missed him. She could tell herself she didn’t, but what purpose did that serve? No sense lying to herself. He was up the road at his cottage or working in town and going about his day completely and absolutely without her. Like she didn’t even matter.
Charlie’s bout of self-pity was interrupted by a knock on the door. It was Josh, and he carried a box in his arms.
She tugged her blanket closer around herself, blinked at him blearily, and held open the door. “What on earth is that?”
“Word got around town that you came down with this bug. It’s a care package.”
She stepped aside as he came in and stomped his boots. “A care package?”
He nodded. “Today I’m your delivery boy. Can you take this?”
She took the box from his arms, shocked at how weak she felt. Once he’d removed his boots he took the box back. “Let’s put this in your kitchen.”
She followed behind him, her slippers scuffing against the floor as she sniffled and then reached for a tissue from the box on the counter. Josh put everything down on her table and started taking things out.
An ice cream container, which he handed over. “My mom’s chicken soup. Her not-so-secret ingredient is a dash of curry powder. You look like hell. I recommend a bowl of it, stat.”
She laughed a little, which started her coughing. Without saying a word, Josh found a glass and got her some water. Then he took a bowl from the cupboard, poured some of the soup into it, and shoved it in the microwave.
“Right. Next … Shirley at The Leaf and Grind sent over some tea.” He put the little tin on the table. “She recommends honey to sweeten it. Jess sent eucalyptus candles to help with congestion.” Those went beside the tea. “Mary at the bakery brought in a dozen cinnamon rolls, which annoys the hell out of me because no one ever gives me cinnamon rolls and they’re my favorite.” The rolls were added to the assortment on the tabletop.
Josh handed over a small plastic bottle. “Robin says to take a hot bath with some of this in it and you’ll feel lots better.”
Charlie was overwhelmed. Good heavens, homemade soup and tea and aromatherapy … just for coming down with the flu? “What about you, Josh?” she joked, as the microwave beeped, indicating her soup was done. “What did you bring me?” She opened the door and caught a little of the scent, even through her plugged nose. Her stomach rumbled and she realized she couldn’t remember when she’d put anything other than fluids in her tummy.
Josh held up a bottle. “I’m not much of a cook. But codeine cough syrup will do. You should at least get some sleep.” He grinned at her. “You really do look like hell, Charlie. Do you need someone to take Daniel for a day or two?”
“Thanks for this,” she grumbled, but then she looked up at him and smiled a bit. “Thank you, Josh. And Dan and I will be fine. He’s been sleeping better lately, only up once in the night. I just put him down. I should be good until about one in the morning.” She took a sip of water. “This is pretty amazing and a real surprise.”
He gave a shrug. “That’s what happens in a place like Jewell Cove. People help each other out. Sometimes it’s suffocating, but everyone means well. Almost everyone, anyway,” he amended with a crooked smile.
She sat down at the table with her soup. “You want to join me? There’s lots here.”
“I’m good. I’ll sit for a minute though, if you don’t mind.”
“Okay.” It seemed odd that he’d hang around, but her head was pretty fuzzy. She might not be the best judge of what was weird and normal at the moment. The first taste of soup made her close her eyes in gratitude. The broth was hot and rich and filled with vegetables and chicken and soft noodles. “Oh, tell Meggie that this is delicious and just what I needed.”
“I will.” He hesitated for a minute and then leaned on the table on his elbows. “Charlie, are you okay?”
“It’s just the flu, Josh.”
“That’s not what I mean.” He looked slightly uncomfortable. “Look, I don’t like to pry into people’s private lives, but you’ve been burning the candle at both ends for the last week, and now you’re sick and it looked like things were heating up with that Dave guy. Did something happen there?”
“There’s nothing happening there, don’t worry,” she replied, scooping up more soup to keep busy, to keep her from thinking too much.
“Do I need to have a talk with him?”
She swallowed and looked up in surprise. “What?”
“You’re my business partner now. And my friend. And if you need help, I hope you know you can ask me.”
A silly grin broke out over her face. “Are you saying you’d beat up Dave Ricker if he hurt my feelings, Josh?”
Josh looked at her evenly. “He’s a big boy. Not sure I’d beat him up, but I’d give it a good try.”
Her eye stung with unexpected tears. “That’s sweet. I never had a big brother, you know. But this feels like something a big brother would say.”
He smiled at her. “Look around you, Charlie. You’re part of this community. People care about you. I know it’s hard at first, coming to a place where it seems everyone has known each other forever, and have all this shared past stuff. It’s hard to come back to that too, you know. I didn’t find it easy last year. People get in your business. But they’re also there when you need them. I guess what I’m saying is, don’t let this get you down. There are people who care about you.”
“Wow, Josh, this is pretty touchy-feely for you.”
He chuckled. “Don’t I know it. My sisters are much better at this kind of thing, but since you and I share an office, I put on my big-girl panties.”
Josh could be really businesslike, or so charismatic that Charlie often felt outmatched. But he was really approachable today, relaxed and cracking jokes.
“I’ll be fine. Dave and I just want different things. We kind of ignored it for a while, but there it is. It wouldn’t have worked out anyway.”
“Bummer,” Josh replied.
She laughed, coughed, and then sighed. “Yeah. Bummer.”
“Well, listen, I should go and let you get your rest. We miss you back at the office. I was run off my feet today.”
“Slave driver. Now I know why you brought this stuff over. So you can get me back in the office and go back to your cushy hours.”
He laughed. She saw him to the door, and when he was ready to go, she thanked him again. Once he was gone she returned to the kitchen, finished her soup, and decided to run a bath using some of Robin’s bubbles.
It wasn’t until she sank into the hot water that she let the emotions in. She’d been holding them back for days now, but the virus, added to her long work hours and then the unexpected generosity of friends had her protective shields down. The steam made a peppermint and eucalyptus scented cloud in the bathroom as she finally cried.
She’d trusted him. She’d believed in him. Wrong or right, foolish or not, she had. And for a brief, wonderful moment, she’d lain in his arms and believed in the possibility of forever.
But that moment was gone. It was time she let it all out and then moved on.
* * *
December 23 rolled around. Charlie had received a huge parcel from Lizzie and placed it beside the Christmas tree since it was too big to fit underneath. She’d mostly recovered from her flu, though by the time she got home at night she was exhausted. Honestly, she was looking forward to having the two extra days off for the Christmas holiday. With nothing planned, she’d eat her takeout, talk to Lizzie, watch a few movies, and drink hot cocoa. To her surprise, several other packages made an appearance. Not so much for her, but for Daniel. There was something from Meggie, which wasn’t a huge surprise, but also packages from Josh’s sisters with Daniel’s name on them. Robin gave her a care package for pampering herself and there was a little gift bag with something for Daniel. She sat in front of the tree with him, watching the curiosity in his eyes as the colorful lights lit up the room, and kissed his soft, downy head. She wasn’t alone. And maybe he wouldn’t understand what was going on or remember a thing, but she was determined to have a real Christmas for his sake.
Even though the outbreak was winding down, the clinic was still busy. Between regular appointments and walk-ins, both Josh and Charlie were run off their feet. It was midafternoon when Charlie stepped into the exam room to meet a new patient. The chart said she was a walk-in and her name was Michelle Green.
“Hi, Michelle.” She smiled at the young girl sitting next to the bed. “I’m Dr. Yang. What can I help you with today?”
The girl didn’t look particularly sick, though her color was a bit pale and her hair was limp. Mostly she looked tired. No, not tired. Worn. Charlie smiled reassuringly.
“I, uh…” The girl suddenly looked down. Lifted her hand and started chewing on a fingernail.
Charlie’s heart softened. She couldn’t be more than eighteen, maybe nineteen, and something was clearly bothering her. Charlie sat on her rolling stool and edged her way closer to Michelle, so they were sitting facing each other at equal heights.
“Are you ill? Or is there a problem I can help you with?” Charlie touched Michelle’s knee lightly. “I’m here to help. Everything is confidential.”
Michelle looked up, her blue eyes swimming with tears. “Are you the Dr. Yang who found that baby a few weeks ago?”
It was a strange question to ask, and Charlie’s heart started beating faster. Oh my. She was going to have to tread very, very carefully. Could this be Daniel’s mother?
“I am.”
Michelle looked down again and Charlie saw a tear streak down the girl’s cheek. “Is he okay?” she whispered.
Charlie nodded, a lump in her throat. She was sure now. No one else would come into her office, asking these questions, their emotions so raw. “He’s doing just fine.”
She nodded again. “Okay. Thanks. I should go…” Awkwardly, the girl got up and reached for an old winter jacket hanging on the back of her chair.
“Don’t go yet,” Charlie said, alarmed but trying to adopt a soothing tone. “Michelle, have you seen a doctor since you delivered? You’re a little pale. It wouldn’t hurt to have a checkup, make sure everything’s okay.”
“I don’t know what you mean.” She gripped the jacket tightly, and her face took on a belligerent expression. But Charlie could see beyond it to the fear. This poor kid.
Charlie reached out and rubbed Michelle’s arm reassuringly. “It’s okay. I promise you it’ll be okay.”
“I just … Oh God.” She sank back down into the chair and covered her face with her hands.
Charlie kept her voice soft. “You put him in the manger on purpose, didn’t you?”
Michelle nodded, moved her hands so they were in her lap, twisting together nervously. “I knew everyone would be at the tree lighting and I saw you and your husband walking by. I waited to make sure…”
At that point she dissolved into tears. Charlie squatted in front of her and held her hands. “You waited to make sure…”
Michelle hiccupped. “That you noticed. I wouldn’t have left him there alone. If no one had come, I would have gone back for him. I wouldn’t have let him die.” She sobbed again. “I wouldn’t have done that. I just didn’t know what else to do. I couldn’t look after him … I didn’t want anyone to know…”
“Of course. It’s all right. We’re going to make everything all right, okay?”
“I just wanted to know he was okay.”
“And he is. Michelle, can you tell me where and when you had your baby? Were you in a hospital?”
She nodded. “Yes, in Dover, on November nineteenth.”
Across the state line in New Hampshire. Which was why nothing had turned up when they checked Maine hospitals.
“And everything went all right?”
She nodded again. “I was discharged the next morning. A friend came to pick me up and take me … home.”
“No complications since?”
The pale pallor of her skin made way for a slight blush. “Um, I bled a lot.”
“Are you still bleeding?”
She shook her head. “Not for the past couple of days.”
That was a relief, then. She really did need a thorough exam, but Charlie wanted to keep her talking as much as she could. “Michelle? Do you want to tell me why you left your baby here in Jewell Cove?”
Charlie could see Michelle swallow. The girl wouldn’t meet her eyes again and Charlie could understand why. Michelle was fighting a battle within herself … wanting to know about the welfare of her child while at the same time probably feeling ashamed and embarrassed and scared.
“It’s okay. I’m not here to judge you.”
Another pause, and then Michelle spoke. “I couldn’t look after him. When I got pregnant, my parents kicked me out. I was working at the mall and living on my own, but I could barely make the rent. I didn’t qualify for any maternity leave and I couldn’t go back to work because I couldn’t afford day care. All he did was cry. All I did was cry. I couldn’t think of what else to do. A friend of mine lent me her car and I just … drove. When I was in Portland, I heard some people in the store talking about driving up to Jewell Cove for the weekend, that there was some big tree lighting event every year. I thought it would be pretty. I didn’t even think about what I was going to do until I drove by the church and saw the manger there, all lit up.”
Her tears had stopped and she finally met Charlie’s gaze again. “I was stupid. I know that now. I’m not equipped to be a mom, Dr. Yang. And Jewell Cove … it’s nice here. It seemed like a place where a kid could be happy, you know?” Her voice caught. “I thought it was just better if I … disappeared.”
“But it wasn’t better, was it?”
She shook her head. “I wanted him to have a better life than I could give him. I let him down. So I parked behind the church. And then you guys came along and I knew he’d be okay.”
Michelle broke down again, and Charlie let her cry it out. She snagged the stool again and sat down, staying close to the overwrought girl. “Are you feeling a little better now? What do you say we give you that exam?”
Michelle screwed up her face and Charlie laughed a little, trying to lighten the mood. “I know. Not your favorite thing in the world. But making sure you’re healthy is number one right now, okay?”
She nodded. “Okay.”
Charlie went to the cupboard and took a gown out of the drawer, a real cotton one rather than the paper they normally used. She would treat this girl with kid gloves. It was a sensitive situation that was going to get worse before it got better. “I’ll leave you for a minute to change.”
“Dr. Yang?”
Charlie had her hand on the doorknob, and turned back.
“What’s going to happen to me now?”
Charlie smiled reassuringly. “Let’s get this exam over with first. Then we’ll worry about the rest, okay?”
She slid out of the room and shut the door behind her, then rested her head against the wall for a moment.
“Charlie?”
Josh’s worried voice came from his office across the hall. She opened her eyes and let out a sigh.
“Make sure she doesn’t leave, okay?” Charlie poked her head into his office. “Daniel’s mom is in there.”
“Holy shit.”
“I know. She’s scared to death. I’m going to give her an exam.”
“Do you want me to call Bryce?”
She thought for a moment. If Michelle had left the baby at a hospital, or a police station, it would have been better for her. But she hadn’t. She’d abandoned the baby in a churchyard.
“I’ve got her talking. Give me some time. I may be able to get her to come around to turning herself in. It would be the right thing to do. She needs help. She’s just a kid, Josh.”
Josh nodded. “You’ve got a good heart, Charlie. I’ll hang around a bit, though, in case you need me to make that call.”
“Thanks.”
She took a moment to go to the reception desk and quietly asked Robin to cancel the rest of her afternoon appointments. The whole time she fought against the sinking feeling that she might lose Daniel. What had initially been a situation lasting a few days had been weeks and she couldn’t imagine the cottage without him. But he wasn’t hers, and she had to remember that. Steeling her spine, she gathered what she needed and re-entered the exam room, pasting on a new smile.
While the exam was uncomfortable, Charlie was reassured that Michelle was doing fine. Rather than give her a requisition for blood work that would never get done, Charlie did it right then and there. She expected they’d find some slight anemia, and figured what Michelle really needed was a few good meals, some rest, and counseling sessions. Michelle had gotten dressed again and Charlie pulled a chair over next to the girl’s.
“So. What do you want to do now?”
“I don’t know. I could go back to Dover…”
Charlie was relieved that going home didn’t seem too appealing. “What do you really want?” she prodded gently.
“I want to see him.” Michelle looked up at her and she seemed so young, too young, to be dealing with something this huge.
“In order to see him, you’re going to have to tell people who you are. And even then, I can’t promise it’ll happen.”
“Can’t you just … I don’t know, help me see him somehow? I promise I won’t even say who I am. I just want to see him.”
Charlie closed her eyes and prayed for the right words. “I can’t do that, Michelle. I can’t lie for you. I can help you, absolutely, but not by lying.” She thanked God that today Meggie had offered to look after Daniel at the cottage. How awkward it would be if he were here, like he normally was, and started crying.
She saw Michelle’s hands start to shake. “You mean I have to turn myself into the police?”
“Yes.” Charlie nodded. “But I’ll help you with that. And the officers here are very nice. You don’t have to be afraid of them.”
“But what if they put me in jail?” Michelle’s eyes were wild now. “I made a mistake. I don’t want to go to jail. I just want to see my baby. Be sure he’s okay. I never meant for any of this to happen!”
Charlie reached out and rubbed Michelle’s knee, hoping it was calming and reassuring. “I know.” She’d seen people with no remorse before, with no conscience. This wasn’t like that. Michelle was as much in need of a social worker as her baby. Her records said she was only nineteen. Barely out of high school and alone and pregnant with no support. Desperation could drive people to do strange things. “I promise I’ll help you. And I know for sure that coming forward will make things easier on you. You need to do this, Michelle. For yourself and for your son.”
Michelle nodded a little, and a few tears trembled on her lashes. “I’m just scared.”
“I know. But you don’t have to do this alone now. We can help you get some support, okay?”
“Dr. Yang?”
“Yes?”
“You’re a very kind person.”
Charlie’s heart softened even further. She was nearly tempted to explain that she knew he was doing well because she was looking after the baby, but that might cause more trouble than solutions, so she held her tongue. The situation was complicated enough as it was.
Michelle took a deep breath and let it out, almost as if fortifying herself for what was to come. “Do you think I could talk to them here instead of having to walk into the police station? I’d feel like such a … a criminal.” Her cheeks flushed.
“You’re welcome to use the room here, no problem,” Charlie replied, hugely relieved.
Michelle nodded.
“Okay. I’ll be back in a bit, once I make a few calls. You’ll wait here?”
She nodded again. “I promise.”
Charlie left and went straight to her office to make the necessary calls, and then grabbed a juice box and a couple of granola bars from the kitchen. Michelle looked like she could use something to eat, and while it wasn’t much, it might put some color back in her cheeks. She delivered the snack and gave Josh an update, then met with Todd Smith and a female officer who had come along on the call and filled them in on what she knew. By that time the social worker had arrived and it was time to get the ball rolling.
Charlie entered the exam room once more. “Michelle, this is Marissa Longfellow. She’s the case worker.”
“Hi, Michelle. It’s very good to meet you.”
“I don’t want to go to jail,” Michelle stated quickly. “I just wanted to know he was okay, you know?”
“He’s perfectly fine, so you don’t have to worry about that. Right now I’m here to help you. Together we’re going to sort everything out, okay?”
Charlie put her hand on Michelle’s shoulder. “The two of you can use the room for as long as you want. I’ll be in my office if you need anything.”
She left, took a precious few minutes to pour herself a cup of coffee, and then retreated to her office to make sense of the afternoon’s events.
* * *
In some ways, Dave wished he could have stayed in Kennebunkport longer. He’d taken three days off work and stayed in a room at Janice and Brian’s small inn. It had been awkward at times, but the truly odd thing was that Dave liked Brian. He was good for Janice, and he was also a great dad to Dave’s daughter. Dave wanted Nora to be raised in a happy home. That was the most important thing, and thankfully everyone was willing to work together. Nora’s next visit would be to Jewell Cove, for New Year’s, and Dave couldn’t wait. He wiped his hands on a rag, trying to rub off the grease on his knuckles. He didn’t have much time coming to him, but he’d ask George for a few extra days, particularly as they’d talked about him staying on indefinitely. It was time to stop running and make a home.
And so while that part of his life was great, his romantic life had ground to a complete halt. He’d ruined things between him and Charlie, probably for good. She’d walked out and never called, not once. Not a text message, not a peep. He’d known from the beginning she was a strong woman. Stubborn. It was part of what he loved about her.
He was just punching out for the day when Josh pulled into the parking lot next to the boatyard. Which perhaps wasn’t that noteworthy except Josh hopped out of his truck and made straight for George’s small office. Dave’s stomach twisted. He hoped nothing had happened to Charlie …
He pulled on his gloves and greeted Josh cordially, if not cautiously. “Hey, Josh. What’re you doing here?”
“Probably pissing my partner off. She didn’t call you, did she?”
“No.” The nagging feeling of dread persisted. “Is she okay?”
“If you mean is she physically okay, I’d have to say yes, although I think she’s still beat from her go-round with the flu.”
She’d had the flu?
“It’s not that,” Josh continued. “It’s Daniel. His mother showed up at the clinic today. First of all, since you found him, I thought you might want to know before it gets all around town. And secondly, Charlie’s had a hell of an afternoon. I don’t know what happened between the two of you, but she’s been moping around for the last week and a half. She’s tired and it’s been a rough few hours. She could use a friend today.”
“I doubt she wants to see me.” If she’d wanted moral support, she would have called. Wouldn’t she?
“Well, do what you will with the information. I just wanted to let you know.”
Clearly Josh didn’t have a very high opinion of him, because he made an about-face and headed right back to his truck again.
Dave frowned. In addition to finding his way in his new, active role as parent, he’d spent a lot of time thinking about Charlie. Mostly about how he’d hurt her. Mostly about what she’d said to him after they’d made love.
She’d been right. Being with her had scared him and he’d resorted to his fallback position: getting out of the way.
Maybe it was too late for them, but Josh had come to him for a reason. Charlie needed him—or perhaps just needed someone. He knew she felt very alone in Jewell Cove. He realized she spent most of her life looking after other people, but who looked after Charlie? No one. Not a damned soul. From what he gathered, she’d been looking out for herself for a long time now. Maybe it was time that changed.
Maybe it was time for him to be honest with himself about his feelings. And honest with her.