Chapter Fifteen

Nik went back to his room after leaving Josh, who went to class. He doubted the teachers would mind him missing classes under the circumstances. It hardly mattered now that he was going back home, anyway.

He kept thinking back to the look on Amber’s face when they’d met. And the bratty way he acted by glaring at her and bolting like he did.

Funny, she didn’t seem to care about his royal position. She treated him in just the same way as before, even smarting off to him after he was rude.

Exactly.

And look how I acted toward her.

He sank down onto the bed, his body overcome by heaviness. His insides clenched as he remembered how badly he’d spoken to her earlier. He hadn’t even allowed her any time to explain. He’d just run roughshod over her feelings. Caring only about how everything had affected him. He didn’t once consider how awful she was feeling about what she’d done. He’d iced her out for what was a genuine mistake. Hadn’t he always been taught to be understanding and compassionate? One of his earliest lessons.

He wished he could rush over and take Amber in his arms and forget the whole thing had ever happened. His happiness since meeting her had been so far off the scale, it wasn’t funny. She’d once liked him for who he was.

Could she again? Would she see Nik first and the prince second?

And did he have the courage to find out?

Yes.

Suddenly, he bolted upright, desperately needing to talk to someone from home. He called his father on his private number, hoping that his father’s phone was beside the bed.

“Hello?” By the slurry sound of his voice, Nik had woken him.

“Sorry for disturbing you, Father. This can’t wait.”

“What wrong?” His father sounded concerned.

Nik could’ve slapped himself. His father was probably thinking that something else had happened with the media. Something that would threaten the image of the royal family.

“I want to stay,” Nik blurted out.

His father was silent for a few seconds. “It’s not practical,” he finally replied, the concern no longer in his tone. Now he was back to normal.

“Why not?” Nik pleaded. “If my true identity is out in the open, it now means that Kurt can play a more obvious role as my bodyguard. Just like he always does at home.”

He shoved away any thoughts about how the rest of the school would react to him having a bodyguard or being a prince. All that concerned him at the moment was being allowed to stay.

“We’d have to do something about the media.” Nik could almost hear the thoughts going around his in father’s head. “Maybe send Erik over to liaise with them. We can allocate someone else to watch over your grandmother’s PR.”

“Does that mean you agree?” Nik crossed his fingers.

“No. I’m just thinking through the possibilities. Tell me. Is your desire to stay something to do with the girl?” His father’s voice lightened. Nik imagined he was smiling.

“Amber. Yes it is,” Nik replied.

“Even though she caused the problem?”

“It wasn’t her fault. She’s an amazing girl. I…think she might actually like me. Me, not Prince Niklas. Surely you understand. Remember when you met Mother traveling across Europe when you were younger? You said she bumped into you at the Parthenon in Greece, and she refused to believe you were actually part of the Lutgenstadt royal family. Since there was no internet at the time, she hadn’t seen many photos of you, especially not dressed casually, so she thought you were just a regular guy making a joke. She started traveling with you because she said she liked your sense of humor and thought you had nice eyes.” He paused. “You always told us you knew she was the one because she was smart, beautiful, fun, and she liked you for who you were inside. Amber is the same. And that was when you were heir to the throne. Which I’m not.”

Nik tensed, hoping that playing on his father’s memories would do the trick. He might be King now, but he’d not always been a conforming royal. He knew that from things his mother had told him.

“True.” His father’s low chuckle rumbled across the line. “Did you know she made me skinny dip in the Mediterranean?”

Nik pressed down the urge to cover his ears and start singing loudly to drown out the rest of the story. “Father, I really can’t bear to—”

“I suppose it wouldn’t hurt for you to finish the year.”

A smile broke out on his face. “I’d like to do my senior year here, too. Go to university also,” he added, unsure whether he’d pushed it a bit too far.

“Let’s take one thing at a time. We’ll allow you to stay for now.”

Result! as Josh would say. “Thank you. I promise, no more problems. I’ll say good night now. You must be tired.”

“I am. Your mother sends her love.” His father yawned.

“Send it back to her. Good night.” He slipped his cell into his pocket and headed out of his dorm room. He glanced at the time. It was already afternoon break, so hopefully he could catch Amber in the cafeteria.

Maybe it was time to take a chance. To see where things stood.

It was a terrifying thought.

As he reached the house entrance, Josh was coming inside.

“Hey,” Josh said. “What’s happened? You’re looking much happier than when I left you.”

“I’m staying.”

Josh high-fived him. “That’s awesome. But what about all the prince stuff? How are you going to deal with that?”

“I’ve dealt with it my whole life. I can now. As long I’m with the right person.” Just saying it out loud confirmed that he was doing the right thing.

“Amber, you mean.”

Nik nodded. “Hopefully, she’ll let me apologize.”

“A bit of groveling is called for,” Josh suggested.

“Groveling?” Nik frowned.

“Tell her you’re an idiot. That you’re sorry for what you did. Beg for her forgiveness and promise never to be such a dick again,” Josh explained, sounding like the whole process was simple.

Nik felt his eyes widen. “You want me to beg?” The whole concept of begging was totally alien to him. And it wasn’t a position he’d ever intended to find himself in.

“You want her back?” Josh demanded.

“Of course I do. I’ll do anything.”

“Then you beg.”

Nik nodded slowly, as it dawned on him exactly what he had to do. “I’ll text her right away and ask her to meet me. We’ve still got twenty minutes before classes start again. Hopefully that will be long enough to convince her.”

…

Amber lay on her bed staring up at the white ceiling. It needed painting to cover all the cracks. They reminded her of a series of haphazard train tracks. Lauren had gone to the cafeteria to bring them back something after insisting that Amber needed to eat since she’d missed lunch. She doubted she’d be able to manage a single mouthful. Images of Nik kept whizzing in front of her eyes. Kind Nik. Angry Nik. Prince Nik. All conflicting and all playing havoc with her mind.

Had he already gone? Left on his private royal jet. He’d told her that all he wanted was a normal life. Away from everything to do with being royal. She got that. Everyone was entitled to their dreams. Once everyone knew about him at school then his life, at least initially, would be far from normal. Not to mention the reaction of people from outside the school. His life wouldn’t be his own.

Whatever. The fact that Nik would be leaving meant that she’d never get to see him again. Which was a good thing. He’d let her down badly. Betrayed her trust.

If only her heart would follow the same line as her head. But it was too soon. One day she’d get over him, though. If she could get over Wade’s awful treatment of her then she could deal with this. Except this felt so much worse. Tears ran down her cheeks again, and she picked up her already drenched tissue and wiped them away.

A whistle came from her cell, distracting her. A text. Probably from Lauren asking what sandwich she wanted. As if she cared. It would all taste like cardboard.

She’d have to reply. Swinging her legs around until she was sitting, she picked up her phone from the top of the small set of light wood drawers beside her bed. She struggled to breathe as Nik’s name stared back at her from the caller id.

Her finger hovered over the read icon. Open or not? Deleting would be the sensible thing to do. There was nothing he could say that would make things right. Except…

I’m outside your dorm. Please meet me.

She swallowed hard. Should she go and see him? If it was just to tell her good-bye, then what was the point? She’d had more than enough heartbreak for one day. If she had any chance at all of making it to her afternoon classes, then she couldn’t subject herself to more of him.

No, she hurriedly replied before she could change her mind. She wished it made her feel better, but it didn’t. Not one bit.

After only a few seconds, another text arrived from him. She didn’t deliberate, just opened it right away.

I’m sorry. Please let me explain.

Her heart pounded against her rib cage. What did he mean by that? He wanted to say sorry for being mean and to say good-bye. Or he wanted to apologize for encouraging her to get involved with him when he knew it wasn’t going anywhere? Or…she’d run out of scenarios. Did that matter? If he was leaving school, it wasn’t going to change anything. Then again, maybe she owed him the chance to explain. She might never get the opportunity again, and she could end up regretting it.

Okay. I’ll be down soon, she texted back, immediately wishing she hadn’t agreed to go.

Where was Lauren when Amber needed her? She’d tell her whether going to meet Nik was the right decision, because at the moment, she had no idea.

It would sort everything out once and for all, so in that respect, it probably was right.

Stop already. Just go.

She grabbed her purse, paused to check herself out in the mirror, and regretted it. Her puffy eyes and tear-streaked cheeks were a dead giveaway that she’d been crying, and she had no time to do anything about it.

…

Nik stared at the entrance to Amber’s dorm, waiting for her. He leaned against one of the tall white pine trees that lined the drive. Once appearing, she glanced from side to side, and when she caught sight of him, an anxious expression flickered across her face. He waved and smiled, but she didn’t respond. He didn’t blame her. Especially after their encounter earlier. He knew it was going to take more than a smile to get her to forgive him for what he’d done.

“Let’s get away from here,” he said, once she’d reached him.

She acknowledged him with a shrug and looked away. They walked in silence along the path, which circled the school and led to a grassy area overlooking the mountain. He thought that it would be a nice secluded place for them to talk. While they walked, he sensed that she was deliberately keeping as much space between the two of them as possible. He stared directly in front of him and took surreptitious glances at her in his peripheral vision whenever he could. Her face was set firm, giving nothing away. Once they reached the clearing, he stopped and faced her.

She glanced up at him. There was no sign of the usual upbeat, happy vibe. The warmth that she always exuded. It was like she didn’t even know him.

He hitched in a breath, his fists clenching and unclenching by his side. “I’m sorry.” He could’ve kicked himself for starting with something so lame.

“You said that in your text,” she replied in a monotone voice.

He tried to make eye contact with her, but she just stared at the ground. She had to listen to him. He’d never wanted anything more in his whole life.

“You’re not making this easy for me.” He touched her on the arm, and she flinched. His insides clenched. Although he knew that she was upset, while waiting to see her, he’d sort of convinced himself that it would be relatively easy to persuade her to forgive him. He’d gotten that wrong. Way wrong. He’d been such an idiot to think it would be that straightforward. He should’ve listened to Josh. He was so much better at this sort of thing.

“Why should I?” Her voice was calm and emotionless.

Which made it even worse. He wished she’d shout and scream at him because that showed some feeling. Her calmness implied that she didn’t care about him anymore. That she’d already forgotten all they’d had together. He couldn’t give up, though. He wanted her back. To persuade her to give him a second chance. If it was at all possible for Nik and Amber to have a second chance, without Prince Niklas getting in the way.

“Because we belong together.” He paused a moment, to judge her reaction. But there was none. “I behaved really badly. It was inexcusable, and if I could take it back, I would.”

He prayed that this was enough for her to accept his apology and recognize how remorseful he was.

“Yes, you did,” she agreed.

“Please let me put things right,” he implored.

“There’s no point.” She glanced at him and then looked at the ground, her fists were tightly balled by her sides.

He wanted to pull her into his arms and shake her. Make her see that there was every point in the world. That what they had was something special, and they had to be together. But he didn’t think she’d appreciate him doing that.

A small part of him loved that she was making things hard for him. It meant she wasn’t just going to roll over and do whatever he wanted because he was a prince. It meant things hadn’t changed. If she hated him, she hated him for who he was and what he’d done, and nothing else.

It was all him. All in his control. Everything boiled down to this moment. If he could find the right words instead of retreating back into his familiar cocoon of icy hauteur.

“Yes, there is,” he insisted softly.

She had to understand; she just had to.

“So you can go back home without a guilty conscience?” She gazed at him, and he caught sight of a tiny spark in her eyes. But it disappeared almost instantly. He didn’t care; it was a reaction. Which was more than he’d managed to get from her up to that point. That meant there was hope.

“You’re wrong,” he stated.

“What is it, then?” She arched an eyebrow.

“I hurt you. I hate myself for that. I should’ve listened instead of going off on a rant.” People at home wouldn’t believe the way he was acting. He was known for his ability to keep cool and not show his feelings. He never ranted, other than in the privacy of his own room. And even then, he’d make sure he couldn’t be overheard. The potential fallout wasn’t worth it. He was always firm and decisive, not allowing any emotion to get in the way.

And now everything depended on his showing all the emotions he was having. In uncomfortable detail.

“A royal rant.” A half smile hovered around the corners of her mouth.

He swallowed hard, his mouth dry. Was she softening?

“Exactly. I realize what happened wasn’t your fault. I should’ve confided in you about who I really am. Trusted you with my secret.” And he meant it. He was such a fool.

“Maybe. But it doesn’t really matter.” There was no sign of a smile now.

A long sigh escaped his lips. Just when he thought he was making progress, she said something that indicated the total opposite. Maybe she didn’t want them to continue their relationship. Maybe he’d really blown it.

“It does. I don’t want us to break up.” He locked eyes with her, silently begging her to give them a chance.

“We can’t have a relationship when one of us is halfway across the world. And you’re a freakin’ prince. Explain to me how that could possibly work?” She turned her head but not before he’d seen her eyes had filled with tears.

Warmth flooded through him. He got it now. Her reluctance wasn’t because she didn’t want him anymore. It was because she thought he was going back to Lutgenstadt. As for the whole prince thing, that they’d work through.

“We don’t have to.” He stepped toward her and loosely took hold of her shoulders. “I’m not going back.”

“You’re not?” Her body relaxed under his grip.

“No. My parents wanted me to return, but I convinced them to let me stay.” He resisted the urge to pull her closer and smother her with kisses. It was too soon. He hoped that they’d make up for it later.

“Why?” She pulled back from his hold, and his heart dipped.

Had he misread the situation? Did the fact he was staying not rectify things?

“Why do you think?” He frowned.

“I don’t know. You already told me that you can’t have a normal life here, and since that was why you came, then why would you want to stay? You’d be subjecting yourself to a media frenzy, not to mention everyone at school would be so obsessed with you that you wouldn’t be able live an undisturbed life.” She placed her hands on her hips and eyeballed him. “Which is totally arrogant if you ask me. Just because you’re a prince doesn’t mean that every girl in school will be chasing after you.”

His head spun. He seriously didn’t get what was happening. He didn’t mean that at all. One moment it seemed like everything was going to be okay, and now it was like…like…

“Are you being deliberately obtuse?” he asked.

“Ob— What?” She cocked her head to the side.

“Please stop.” He held up both hands. “All I want is to be with you. I don’t care about a normal life. The only important thing is having you in my life.” The words poured out of his mouth, and he fixed her with his eyes, not daring to breathe.

“Are you serious?” Her eyes widened.

“I’ve never been more so. I acted like an idiot. Too wrapped up in myself to realize what was right under my nose. Of course, I’d rather people don’t know who I am, but I can live with it as long as you’re by my side.”

“I’m not sure us being together is good thing.” She bit down on her bottom lip.

“Is it because of the way I acted earlier?”

“Like a prince used to getting his own way and not caring about anyone else’s feelings? Yes, that’s part of it.” She nodded.

“What else?” he asked. “And by the way,” he said, without giving her time to answer, “I don’t think that every girl will be after me.”

Amber blushed. “Sorry. I didn’t mean that. I just said it without thinking.”

“Understandable after the way I behaved,” he replied. “So, what is the other part?” he asked gently.

“You say that you don’t care about having a normal life, but you do. And I don’t want to be forever in the spotlight because I’m your girlfriend. I like to be behind the lens, not in front of it.”

She was right about being in the spotlight. It wasn’t easy being his girlfriend. Though he hoped it would be easier at school, because they were out of the way. And he’d protect her from the media fallout, if there was one.

“What can I do to make you give me a chance? I can beg if that helps.”

“Beg?” She laughed. A genuine throaty laugh. “What makes you think I want you to beg?”

“Josh said that’s what I’d have to do.” He steepled his fingers.

“No, you don’t have to beg,” she reassured him.

“Thank you. So what about us?” His whole body tensed in anticipation. Please say yes. Please say yes.

“You deceived me. That’s hard to take. You know what happened in my past. My illness. Wade.”

It was like she’d thumped him in the gut. He’d been as bad as her previous boyfriend. No wonder she was reluctant to commit to him. Why had he opened his mouth without thinking through the consequences?

“I know, and I’m so sorry. But I had my reasons, which were nothing to do with you. I’ll never hurt you again, I promise. You have to believe me.” He took a deep breath. “When I first met you, you pretty much hated me on sight. And I loved it. It was the first time anyone summed me up and either liked or hated me for me—not for my title.” She blinked in surprise, and he could tell she probably hadn’t considered that before. “And when I won you over, it was because you actually liked Nik Gustafsson, ordinary exchange student. It was like a drug. I’d never had that in my life, something so genuine, so true. I was afraid things would change between us once you found out who I was and that the whole royal family of Lutgenstadt was standing on my shoulders.” He looked at his feet, his throat closing up with all the emotion he felt. “Forgive me, Amber,” he ground out. “Please.”

“Oh, Nik. I never— I didn’t realize— Wow.” He felt a soft touch on his arm, and he looked up to see compassion, understanding, and a whole lot more in her eyes. “Of course. Of course I forgive you. But if you ever do anything like that again…”

“I won’t. Let me prove it to you,” he interrupted, brushing the back of his hand against her cheek. Her eyes fluttered half closed as she leaned into his touch, and the weight of all his worry, his position, his responsibilities just fell away. It was like there was only the two of them in the whole world at that moment.

Prove it…

How?

He wracked his brain for something that he could do that wasn’t cheesy or obvious like flowers or chocolates. It had to be so special she’d know for certain that…the cell phone she held by her side distracted him. And then he knew the perfect demonstration of his feelings for her.

He hurriedly pulled out his cell from his pocket and moved to stand next to her. A confused expression crossed her face. He drew her in close to him and then held out his hand and took a selfie of them both.

“What are you doing?” Amber sounded worried.

“Something for my family’s Facebook page. I want everyone in my country to see you.” He squeezed her shoulder reassuringly.

“B-but…” she stammered.

“Is that okay?” he asked, suddenly worried that he’d read the situation incorrectly and done the wrong thing.

“Yes. Of course. Yes. But are you sure?” she asked, her voice anxious.

“I’ve never been more sure in my life.” And he meant it. With every bone in his body.

“Well, in that case let’s take another.” A wide smile on her face, Amber lifted up her cell and pointed it in their direction. And she kissed him as she took the shot.