Glory sat at the bar in the large dining room waiting for Sally to join her for a chat before the evening rush began. It was very early in the evening yet and other than a few men playing cards in one of the gaming rooms and a private meeting in one of the salons, the house was quiet. Sally was set to perform again later tonight, so Glory expected the rush to come closer to the performance time. Since many men had undoubtedly left town after the faro tournament the day before, it’d likely be a less hectic night.
For that, she was grateful. Gone were the days she and Able were anxious about a few slow nights. Madam Marin had left them with some debt and had cleaned out the bank account before leaving for her retirement in San Francisco. That first year had been agonizing and full of constant worry about paying back the loan while keeping the staff in food and clothing. Glory was grateful they’d made it through.
Now she could sit in peace and chat with an old friend. It really was the little things in life for which she’d learned to be grateful. Sally planned to leave in the morning and Glory felt as if she’d barely been able to see her friend with the shadow of uncertainty looming over her this week. Taking a deep breath, Glory resolved not to think of that letter for the next few minutes. Instead she closed her eyes and listened to the peaceful notes of the piano coming from the ballroom. Janie sometimes liked to practice in the early evenings before they got too busy.
“He’s rather partial to you, you know.”
Glory turned from her seat at the bar to see Sally walking across the room toward her. If the woman had spoken any louder, the entire room would’ve heard her. The entire room consisting of Penelope behind the bar, Zane sketching as he spoke to Charlotte near the cold fireplace and a customer eating a solitary meal across the room. He glanced up at Sally but went back to eating and reading the book opened on the table next to his plate. Penelope gave Glory a knowing smile, but, thankfully, Zane and Charlotte seemed undisturbed by the proclamation. With any luck, he hadn’t heard Sally.
Waiting until her longtime friend had made her way through the maze of empty tables to find a seat beside her, Glory said, “I suppose I don’t need to ask about whom you’re referring.”
The woman gave an unladylike snort and threw her head back. “Penelope, be a dear and get us a couple of brandies.” Getting herself settled on the well-padded seat of the stool, she said, “I think you know very well that I mean tall, dark and handsome across the room there, doll.”
Glory followed her gaze to Zane. His brow was furrowed in concentration, his lips forming a nearly straight line as he focused on the sketch. The graphite pencil held between his surprisingly long and graceful fingers moved skillfully across the page.
“Do you think he’s so focused in bed?” Sally’s whiskey voice interrupted her study of him.
“Sally!” Glory felt her cheeks flame.
“What?” The woman managed to look perfectly innocent until she smirked, her gaze drifting over to him again. “Can’t you imagine all of that intensity focused on you?” She gave a shimmy of delight that made Glory laugh. The sound drew Zane’s attention. Frowning, he looked up to see what the ruckus was all about, and Glory turned back to her friend, feeling very much like a schoolgirl caught watching him.
She could very much imagine what Sally had said. She could imagine it so well that she didn’t need any help from Sally. “That’s inappropriate.” Her scolding lacked any heat though, especially when she couldn’t stop herself from glancing back at him.
“Come now.” Sally gently shoved her shoulder against Glory’s. “It’s not that inappropriate.”
“He’s an employee.” The shop had sent over the suit earlier, so he was wearing it in preparation for the evening. The coat was spread tight across his shoulders, and the waistcoat emphasized his narrow waist. It looked good on him. More than good. He looked like he’d been born to the suit, while somehow retaining that untamed sense of danger that was such a part of who he was. Maybe it was the scar on his face, hinting at the wild things he was capable of.
“Bah. He’s not going to be here for long, is he?”
“No, I suppose not.” The words came out a little more forlorn than she’d have liked.
Penelope set down their brandies and leaned forward. “I have to agree with Sally. He’s smitten.”
Was their attraction that transparent? Even if it was, she had a hard time attributing such a tame word to him. Smitten didn’t suit him at all. Zane simply wasn’t a man to become smitten with anyone. He might like her. He might want to sleep with her, but he’d never be smitten. Those were two very different beasts. Lust was lust. Smitten implied something more and she wasn’t ready to believe someone like him could feel that way about someone like her.
They were different. He was the wind, traveling the world wild and free; she was a tree...she frowned at the analogy. Maybe not a tree. A flower then. A rosebush with her roots firmly in the ground. Their paths might cross from time to time when he rustled her petals, but it wasn’t something that could last. He might be all tender and gentle with her now, but the truth of the matter was that he wouldn’t be around long. He wouldn’t have the patience for dealing with her and her particular issues. Even if he did, what would be the point? He’d be leaving. She didn’t want something frivolous and fleeting. She was surrounded by that every day.
He’d made it clear he wanted more, at least physically. They’d kissed. That didn’t mean he was smitten, but she couldn’t help but wonder what the others saw. Picking up her brandy, she took a small sip, telling herself that it didn’t matter. The liquid warmed her as it went down to settle in her belly. She hardly ever drank the stuff, but tonight was special since Sally would be leaving tomorrow. She meant to talk more about her friend, but when she opened her mouth that’s not what came out.
“What makes you say that?”
“I asked him back to my room a few days ago and he turned me down.” Penelope shrugged. “Said it was because you told him to keep his hands to himself while he’s here, but I saw the way he watched you.” She gave Glory a good-natured smile. “He’d have turned me down anyway.”
Glory couldn’t stop the smile that curved her lips, so she took another sip of brandy to hide it. She told herself it was because she was glad he’d followed her rule of not fraternizing with her staff, but deep down she knew it was because she didn’t want to think of him with another woman. “It’s nothing. Obviously, he’s handsome. I think he does find me attractive, but we’re not schoolchildren. We know that it’s not meant to be.”
Penelope raised an eyebrow, but didn’t comment as she turned back to finish stocking the bar for the evening rush.
Sally drank some of her brandy and shook her head, opened her mouth, and then closed it only to shake her head again.
“What do you want to say?” Glory prodded. The woman had never been known to keep a comment to herself.
“Only that some things never change, I guess.”
“What does that mean?” Glory was afraid that she knew very well what that meant. Her celibacy, while no one’s business, had seemed to become an interesting topic of conversation of late.
Sally grinned, turning her glass around and around on the polished mahogany of the bar top. “You try to keep yourself too safe, Glory. That’s all I meant. Live a little. You like him, and it’s no secret he likes you. See what happens.”
“It’s not quite as easy as that, believe me, if it was I might take your advice.”
“Oh, really?” Sally raised a doubtful eyebrow. “How come it’s not so easy? Have a little fun. You both clearly want to.” She grinned and whispered, “In case no one has told you, you don’t have to be married to explore your physical urges.”
Glory rolled her eyes at the woman’s crude snicker. Then she raised her shoulder in a defensive shrug and took another sip of brandy to keep from answering right away. The truth was that some demons were easier not to face. Did she like kissing him? Of course she did, but she didn’t like the panic that had followed that kiss. She didn’t like all the strange feelings she didn’t know how to handle. The fear, the doubt, the nearly overwhelming certainty that all of that wasn’t worth the passing pleasure of kissing him when he would be leaving her life anyway.
“I...I have issues with...” It was as close as she’d ever come to admitting the truth to another living soul.
“With men,” Sally finished for her. Turns out everyone had probably already figured that out as well. “I know. But you’re missing out on something you clearly want, doll. Give it a try. See what happens. Do you trust him?”
Glory nodded without even having to think about the question. She did trust him.
Say yes to me. She could still hear his husky voice as he uttered that command. A shiver of longing worked its way through her body, and she glanced over at him again. He must have sensed her attention because he looked up from the sketch. The heat of his gaze warmed her cheeks like a tangible caress. How could he do that with only a look?
“Then you’ve got nothing to lose,” Sally whispered over her shoulder.
His eyes went back to the drawing, releasing Glory from his hold. Sally was right. She didn’t really have all that much to lose, the problem was she didn’t know if she had the courage to reach out and take what she wanted. Despite what Zane thought, she knew that she wasn’t all that brave. She’d merely been surviving, and she acknowledged that she was pretty good at that.
Living took real courage. She hadn’t been doing a whole lot of living in the years she’d been here. She’d existed. She’d made the absolute best of her lot in life, but she’d been too busy hiding and hoping never to be found to actually live. Now that she realized that, she wondered if she’d been doing it all wrong.
Was it possible to reach out and take what Zane was offering and still be whole when he left? Or better yet, maybe she’d be a little bit better for the time they spent together? Was she brave enough to try?
“Drawing’s all done.”
It wasn’t until Charlotte’s happy voice interrupted her musings that Glory realized she’d been daydreaming. Penelope and Sally were deep in conversation about a vaudeville act Glory had been attempting to book for the ballroom with little luck. Charlotte stood before her, holding out the drawing as a child might do when seeking approval. She’d apologized all afternoon for not coming forward sooner and was doing her best to make things right. Not that there was anything to make right, as far as Glory was concerned. Charlotte hadn’t known about the letter so she’d had no reason to come forward sooner.
“Wonderful.” Glory forced a smile—it was so easy to smile without thinking about it after all her years of practice—and took the drawing. Zane had done a fabulous job capturing the man’s features. A middle-aged man stared back at her. His salt-and-pepper hair was thinned and combed to the side. He was clean-shaven with fine features, and he looked remarkably unremarkable. He could’ve been any of a dozen men who came through the doors every night. Her heart sank. She hadn’t realized how she’d hoped something might come from the drawing. That perhaps it’d jar her memory of seeing him that night.
“I don’t recognize him,” Glory said.
All three women looked over her shoulder. Penelope gave a shrug. “Neither do I.”
“Go ring Martin and ask him to come over for a moment.”
Charlotte went off to do that, and Zane stepped forward.
“Thank you for doing this,” Glory said. “I hope it helps.”
He inclined his head. “I hope so too.”
Glory became aware of a particularly intense stare coming from the stool beside her. Sally gave her a pointed look and smiled at Zane. Rolling her eyes, Glory decided that if she was planning to pursue something with Zane, then she’d do it in her own time and with plenty of privacy. “I’m needed in the courtyard,” she declared with a smile and pushed her unfinished glass of brandy toward Penelope. “Sally, you may come find me later if you wish to continue our talk.”
The woman’s laughter followed her from the room as well as the sound of Zane’s boots. She didn’t pay attention to him though, and he seemed content to linger on the periphery of the courtyard when they stepped outside. Emily and Edward were there playing with Mary, a young serving girl who cared for them a few afternoons every week when she wasn’t serving drinks and meals inside. The courtyard held a single oak tree, and a couple of years ago, Able had hung a swing from one of the limbs with thick rope and a sawn-off board. Edward squealed and laughed as his sister did her best to push him on the swing. She nearly fell forward with the momentum.
Glory’s heart twisted in both pleasure and pain as she watched them. They were so small and hopeful. Two little people just wanting to love and to be given love in return. She’d be able to shield them for a while yet, but determined then and there that it was time to stop waiting and to start living. She’d contact their mother and force the decision. Either she sent for them or Glory would take over their care. She’d keep them as her own.
Her heart started beating harder at the prospect of keeping them. After resigning herself to the idea of never having children, she realized now how much she wanted them. She’d have to tread carefully—no. No, she was done with being careful. Sally was right. Her life was right in front of her and she hadn’t been living it. She’d allow herself to love them even knowing that their mother might come back and swoop them up. Until then and for long after, she’d love them.
“Glory!” Finally noticing her, they called out, “Come play!”
Glory rushed over to them, not caring that she’d already dressed in her evening attire. She’d go and change if it came to it. For the next while she indulged them, playing on the swing and building castles in the small sandbox. She’d had the bags of sand brought in special for them. It wasn’t until Zane interrupted that she realized the shadows were longer in the courtyard. At least an hour had passed.
The twins stared up at him when he walked over, curious but not wary of the stranger in their midst. They’d probably seen him around. To her surprise, he smiled down at them and crouched. “I see you have a fine moat around your castle,” he said to Emily.
She beamed up at him. “Mine’s deeper than Edward’s.”
Edward understandably took offense to this and set about digging his out a little more with all the intensity a four-year-old could muster. He clamped his tongue between his lips and his chubby arms worked harder with the miniature shovel.
“That it is,” Zane agreed. “But Edward’s is nice and wide. I’m told that is also a very important feature when it comes to moats.”
For the next several minutes, the four of them made sure both castles were equipped with excellent moats. Satisfied with their progress, Zane retrieved two wooden boats from the bucket of toys off to the side. “I bet you’d both like a rowboat for crossing the water.”
They agreed and set about sailing their boats in the imaginary water. When they were occupied, Zane leaned over to her and said, “Hines has seen the drawing. He recognizes the man.”
Her heart nearly tripped over itself, but the solemn look in his eyes told her he spoke the truth. Nevertheless, she needed reassurance. “He’s certain?”
Zane nodded. “He said the man spent the night at The Baroness. Said he was leaving on the last train out. It was the same night you found your letter. He gave a name, though I’m certain it’s a fake, and a St. Louis address. Hunter has confirmed it’s the same address he found.”
It wasn’t much really. The address led to the same information they already had about the sender of the letter. Hunter was already doing all he could to track down the owner of the letter box. No easy feat considering the address was around fifteen hundred miles away. However, it was the confirmation she needed to verify what she’d already known, that no one in her employment had left that letter. Her staff was loyal. It was a small thing, but she was grateful to have it confirmed.
Zane had turned his attention back to the twins. A slight smile curved his lips as he watched them playing, making her wonder if he’d ever thought of having children of his own. He’d surprised her with how effortlessly he’d been able to play with them. She nearly shook her head at the direction of her thoughts. Sally had made her see how pleasant indulging her curiosity with Zane could be in the short term, but there was no reason she should be thinking such long-term thoughts about him. It shouldn’t matter to her in the slightest what his plans were for a family in the future. She wouldn’t be a part of them.
“What name did he give?” She asked the question almost absently. It didn’t matter since Zane already assumed that it was a fake name given to cover the man’s true identity. It made sense that he wouldn’t use his real name if he was trying to hide who he was. She asked it more because she thought she should than from having a genuine desire to know.
“Justin Dubose.”
Her world tilted on its axis. It was the last name she ever wanted to hear. Her hard-won security, her independence, everything she’d ever worked for was gone with his utterance of that name. She took a deep gulp of air but it felt as if something squeezed around her chest, not allowing any of it in.
“Glory?” Zane kept his voice calm, probably so that he wouldn’t alarm the children, but she could see the alarm in his eyes. He touched her back and shifted so that he was facing her.
The twins looked up at them, their little faces pinched with concern.
She finally managed to take a breath, but her heart was still racing. “It’s him... It’s his name.”
The drawing wasn’t Justin though. Justin’s nose was more prominent and no one would call him fine-featured. He’d been handsome, though with a notably cruel twist to his mouth. The man in the drawing had been bland. No, the man hadn’t been Justin, but he’d used Justin’s name, which meant his letter wasn’t a lie. He was telling the truth when he claimed to know who she was. There was no doubt in her mind that he’d tell Justin where to find her.
If he hadn’t already.
The next few minutes passed in a blur. Thank God Zane was with her. While she was still dealing with the aftershocks of her world coming apart, he seemed to know just what to do. He gathered the children and her and took them all to the boardinghouse. Mary was there waiting to get them ready for bed, along with the other children, but Glory couldn’t give them up just yet. Zane seemed to understand and didn’t rush her.
Instead, he calmly helped her get them changed into their nightclothes and waited inside the door as she hugged them all good-night. She didn’t notice at first, but at some point as he guided her back to Victoria House, his hand slipped from her elbow to her hand. His palm felt so warm, his fingers so strong and comforting around hers that she didn’t even think to pull away. She squeezed tighter, holding on to him as the one solid thing in her world right now.
“Let’s get you upstairs until we can figure out a plan,” Zane said when they stepped inside the back door.
“I need Able.”
Zane nodded, and they took a detour through the house. She caught the attention of a maid leaving one of the salons and asked her to have Able meet her upstairs. The girl nodded and hurried off to the front of the house, where Able had probably already taken up his post for the night. Zane tightened his grip, leading her toward the back stairwell, when Sally popped out of the lounge as if she’d heard Glory’s voice.
“Glory! There you are. I thought we’d finish our chat before my performance.” Her steps slowed as she approached them, and her brow crinkled. “You look like hell, doll. What’s wrong?”
The sight of her old friend was enough to jar Glory back to life. She took in a breath, hiccupping over the lump in her throat. “Come with me upstairs.” She needed something familiar with her, something that would help reassure her that her whole world wouldn’t crumble simply because Justin had found her.
“Of course.” Sally put her arm around her to walk beside her up the stairs.
Regrettably, this made Zane let go of her hand. She missed him instantly, but his heavy tread on the stairs behind them was reassuring.
Able was already at the door of her apartment when they arrived. “Is he here?” Able asked. Maybe he could read the answer on her face.
“Not yet,” she replied.
Able’s nostrils flared as he took in a breath and his jaw clenched. He was worried.
“Come in. I’ll tell you,” said Glory, and within moments they were inside and she sat on the sofa. She could smell the rose water she’d used that morning. She could hear the ticking of the clock. The world was slowly coming back into focus.
Zane crouched down in front of her, his hand on her knee. “I’ll be back soon. I’m going to talk to Hunter.”
“Why?” As she spoke, Sally’s hand moved up and down her back in a soothing motion.
“Because we’re going to find him and we’re going to stop him.” Zane didn’t give her a chance to respond before he left.