Suspicious Suspicions!

“Goof! Goof!”

Sparky, my scruffy corgi puppy, is the official Goofdog. He barked while I biked to the Badger Point Public Library.

I knew Brian was skateboarding to the library on his homemade skateboard. Brian loves to invent and build crazy stuff. Most of it doesn’t work. Most of it could never work.

But that just means he’s a perfect Goofball.

Mara was probably running to the library, which isn’t goofy at all. Running is how she stays so skinny, even though she eats pretty much everything in sight.

And Kelly? Kelly was most likely power walking.

She looks kind of nutty with her arms flying all around like an out-of-control windmill. Not to mention dangerous.

But she is never late anywhere.

“We’re almost there, pal,” I told Sparky as we rolled into the center of town.

Badger Point is small, but we have everything we need all mushed together. Across from the library is a movie theater. Next to that is Pizza Palace, where they name food after us. On the corner next to that is a flower shop. And up the street from that is the library again.

Ercch! I screeched to a stop and parked my bike. Sparky lay down next to it. He is good at guarding my stuff.

I gave him a few pats, then went inside.

I was early, and none of the Goofballs were there yet, so I went to the children’s desk.

The librarian’s name was Mrs. Bookman, which I thought was funny because she was neither a book nor a man. Her strawberry blond hair was piled up like a bunch of pink frosting.

Mmm. Frosting. That made me hungry.

So did the pizza books I put on Mrs. Bookman’s desk.

There was Crust or No Crust, That Is the Question. Another was called Hey, Dough! The one I liked best was called Saucy Sausage Sauce. Try saying that five times fast!

“Mmm. These books make me hungry,” Mrs. B. said.

“Me, too,” I said. “But we’d better not eat them. We’ll have to charge ourselves a fine.”

Mrs. Bookman laughed. “Goofball!”

You could expect to see just about anything in the children’s room. Story Time. Reader’s Theater. Dress-Up-As-Your-Favorite-Character Day. But one thing you wouldn’t expect to see was a big bag of dirt.

“What’s with the dirt?” I asked.

I always ask questions. A private eye has to ask lots of questions. It’s how we find out stuff.

Mrs. B. smiled. “The dirt is for the library’s flower garden,” she said.

It made sense. Gardens need dirt.

“You planted sunflowers last year,” I said. “They grew really high. Crows were attracted to them. They were wild and noisy.”

Mrs. Bookman laughed. “I even told them to mind their manners but they didn’t listen. This year I planted tulips. But the thunderstorm this morning washed away some of the dirt. I’ll be right back.”

She got up from her desk and carried the bag of dirt through a door to the garden outside.

I saw thin green stalks with flowers blooming at the top.

A private eye has to notice everything. You never know what will turn out to be a clue.

To help me remember what I see, I write things down in a little notebook I have.

I call it my “cluebook.”

I wrote a few things down now.

Thunderstorm this morning

Library garden

Dirt

As a detective, my job depends on being aware of every clue around me. That way, I always know what’s happening.

I see everything that’s going on.

And I’m never surprised.

By anything at all—“

Boo!” cried a voice behind my ear.

I nearly jumped out of my skin!

“Gotcha!” Brian said. “You were so clueless!”

Clueless.

That’s the worst thing anyone can say to a private eye. But I was also a Goofball, so it was okay. “I knew it was you,” I said.

“No way,” said Brian. “I’m the best at creeping up behind people.”

“You’re creepy, all right,” I said.

We both laughed.

Kelly and Mara raced in and slammed their pizza books on Mrs. B.’s desk.

“I won, I won, I won!” Mara cheered.

“That’s okay. I wasn’t racing,” said Kelly. “First one to the water fountain wins!”

But Brian and I were the winners. We cut them off and totally hogged the water fountain.

Brian even tried to wash his feet in it, but Kelly threatened to wash his head instead, so he stopped.

“I wish we didn’t have to find cases by accident,” Mara said when we fell into the comfy chairs. “Real detectives get phone calls.”

“Lots of people phoned about pizza,” said Kelly. “That’s how the Incredible Pizza Disaster got started.”

“The Totally Incredible Pizza Disaster,” I corrected her. “That’s what I call it in my cluebook.”

Mara sighed. “I can still smell the crust and all that gooey cheese—”

“Speaking of gooey,” said a voice, “look, everybody—it’s the goo-balls!”

We turned to see Joey Myers at the bookshelves. We had been in the same class ever since first grade, when we caught him snitching snacks. Now he was laughing so hard, he dropped his book. I saw the title. All About Horses.

Next to Joey was his friend Billy Carlson, who wore a faded baseball cap and shook silently when he laughed. “They think they’re pirate eyeballs!” Billy said.

“The correct word is Goofballs,” said Mara, squinting at the two boys through her glasses. “And we’re not pirate eyeballs, we’re private eyes.”

But Joey and Billy ignored her and walked away, laughing and shaking.

“Just look at their ears,” whispered Kelly when the boys had gone. “So guilty.” She twisted her curly blond hair into ringlets. She always does that when she suspects someone or something. “I’ll bet Joey and Billy committed the crime.”

“Committed what crime?” Brian asked, while he was building a log cabin out of little yellow library pencils. “We don’t even have a case yet.”

“I’m pretty sure they did it anyway,” said Kelly. “They seem pretty suspicious to me.”

Suspicious is a good mystery word. It means not trusting something or someone you see.

And Kelly thinks pretty much everyone is suspicious. But I wouldn’t trade her for anybody. It was Kelly who finally guessed the real reason that pizzas were appearing all over town. Maybe I’ll tell you about it someday. But how did Kelly figure it out?

With that suspicious brain of hers.

Mrs. Bookman returned from the garden.

“Someday there will be a book about you kids in the mystery section,” she said.

Mara sighed. “If we ever get a new case.”

“We will,” I said. “And I’m writing in my cluebook for exactly that purpose.”

Kelly laughed. “For exactly what porpoise?”

“That’ll be a whale of a story,” Mara said.

“Water you talking about?” said Brian.

They all laughed at their silly puns.

“Goofballs,” Mrs. B. said.

“With bananas,” I added.

“Now I’m hungry,” said Mara. “Can we eat? Maybe something with cheese?”

“Great idea,” said Brian, setting the final pencil on his log cabin. “I’m actually working on a portable pizza machine so we can eat no matter where we are. I just haven’t worked out all the bugs yet.”

“Eew!” said Kelly. “Don’t put bugs on my pizza!”

“Come on, guys,” I said, slipping my cluebook into my jacket pocket. “Let’s head up to my house.”

Sparky led us as we biked, skateboarded, ran, and power walked back up the hill to my house for lunch. We skidded into the driveway together.

We tumbled right through the kitchen door.

Just in time.

To get … the phone call!