Rich, Rich, Rich!

We drove past the big woods and into the hills above Badger Point.

My mom made a right turn at the sign for Woodview Avenue and drove onto a long, winding road.

“Is this still the United States?” asked Brian, sticking his head out the car window.

“Will we have to stop for gas soon?” Kelly asked.

I looked back. “What a view! You can see the whole town from up here.”

“I can see the library,” said Mara. “Mrs. Bookman is watering her tulips.”

“Sure, but take a look at that!” said Brian, sticking his head out the other window.

And there it was. A house bigger than any house I had ever seen.

My mom made a sound like, “Ohhhhhh!”

Two rows of tall trees lined the road leading up to the front door, which stood at the top of a long flight of steps.

My mom stopped the car and breathed sort of funny. “I’ll stay here. I feel faint.”

“Don’t worry, Mom,” I said. “We’ll try not to get lost.”

We walked to the foot of the staircase.

“Race you to the door!” said Mara.

“You’re on!” I cried.

We all ran up the stairs for the door. At the last second, Kelly’s arms went wild, Brian ducked sideways, Mara fell into me, and we all toppled into the front door.

At the exact moment it opened.

A super-tall man in a fancy black vest looked down at us.

“The Goofballs, I presume?” he said.

I tried to smile. “You presume correctly.”

“I am Picksniff, Mr. Randall Crandall’s butler,” the man said. “Please walk this way.”

But we couldn’t walk that way.

Picksniff had super-long legs, and we had to run to keep up with him.

First, there was an entrance hall, then some stairs, then another hall, then five doors, then even more stairs.

“This is like a tour of the White House!” Mara said in awe.

“Actually, the Crandall residence is bigger than the White House,” Picksniff said with a sniff as he hurried on.

“With more doors than a door store,” Kelly said, counting them as we passed. “I bet there’s something suspicious going on behind each one.”

“Or maybe something delicious going on,” whispered Mara.

Finally, after what seemed like half an hour, the butler stopped at a wide set of double doors.

“Wait in here,” he said. “Mr. Crandall will be with you shortly.”

He opened the doors for us, then hurried away on his long legs.

“Did that guy just call me ‘Shorty’?” whispered Brian.

“No,” said Mara, standing as tall as she could. “But I will. Shorty!”

Then we stepped inside the room.

And we all gasped with disbelief.

“Wow!” I said.

“It’s bigger than our school!” Kelly said.

“It’s bigger than Badger Point!” cried Mara.

“It’s bigger than the world!” Brian said.

“Wow!” I said again.

Large paintings in gold frames were hung all over the walls like in a museum. In the middle of the floor sat a rug that could cover my entire yard. Around it were a dozen large, soft chairs. Behind them stood a fireplace you could park a truck in. I fumbled for my cluebook and wrote some more notes.

Rich, rich, rich!

Wow, wow, $ $ wow!

I know. Not the greatest notes. But they were the best I could think of.

Along one whole wall were shelves of books crammed tighter than socks in a sock drawer.

“You can discover a lot about a person from his books,” said Kelly, power walking to the shelves. “And Randall Crandall has all the classics. Look. The Molar Express.”

“And Charlotte’s Website!” Brian said.

“Plus my favorite,” said Mara. “The Magic School Bug—”

“Welcome, Goofballs!”

We froze when we heard the voice. It was the deep voice I had heard on the phone. “Let me introduce myself. I am Randall Crandall.”

The moment we turned away from the bookshelves, one of the huge chairs slowly swiveled around to face us.

A person was sitting in it.

I blinked when I saw him.

One of the notes in my cluebook was completely wrong.

Randall Crandall wasn’t who I expected.

He wasn’t who I expected … at all!