Rob buys the entrance tickets and we race through the gates. Immediately Samantha spots a smiley-faced dolphin standing on his tail. Next thing, she is cuddling him, even though he is concrete. Nanna spots the concrete dolphin next and excitedly waddles towards it. She gives the smiley-faced dolphin a cuddle too. A Samantha–Nanna–dolphin group huddle is too good an opportunity to miss. I snap a photo.
‘Fairy penguins,’ Anna calls out, running towards them. I follow. Oh no. They waddle like Nanna. Ha, ha. These waddling midget penguins flap and somersault in and out of the water. ‘They’re so cute.’ Anna hides her dimples behind her hands. She is the cute one. I snap a photo.
Suddenly a big fairy penguin is shuffling towards us. It is wearing a red hat and dinner suit. Samantha is shy and gives it a little wave. It waves back. ‘Go on, give the penguin a hug.’ Mum pushes Samantha towards him. Samantha just looks down at the ground, but Anna is brave. She laughs and hugs the big fairy penguin. Samantha shuffles towards them with Mum whispering in her ear. I snap another photo. Then I see the fairy penguin’s flippers give them both a big squash, a really big squash. I get suspicious.
‘Hey, who’s in there?’ I sneak a look through its permanent plastic smile. A tongue pokes out at me. I twist the penguin’s red hat, until the penguin squeaks, ‘Let go.’
‘Did the penguin say something?’ Anna asks.
‘Yeah, goodbye.’ We’re getting out of here.
‘Goodbye big fairy penguin.’ Samantha gives him an extra cuddle.
I drag her away. ‘That’s one fishy penguin.’
‘That’s a very unfunny joke,’ Samantha complains.
I don’t answer, because the FISH word just popped out. Hope no one noticed. ‘Monorail, this way.’ I point. Everyone thinks that is a great idea except for the gigantic flight of stairs all the way up to it. Nanna. What is the point of her being here if she can’t go on anything?
‘I’ll be right.’ Nanna gets her walking stick into action, with Mum hovering behind her in case she topples backwards.
I am at the top already. I hang over the railing, calling out, ‘Come on, come on. We’ll miss it. We’ll miss it.’
‘Stop it, Jack.’ Mum’s hair frizzles. ‘We’ve got all day.’
That’s right — we have only one day. Nanna arrives at last. ‘All aboard. Monorail. All aboard.’ We get a cabin to ourselves. Excellent. We get a great view from the monorail. ‘Oh, look at that.’ The corkscrew rollercoaster zooms into loops. People are screaming. ‘I’m going on it for sure. Triple loops.’ It’s fast. I nudge Anna. ‘I reckon it’s got to be 100 kilometres per hour.’
‘Sure,’ Leo snickers.
‘What would you know? It IS fast.’
‘I like fast rides.’ Anna’s angel wings quiver.
‘Me too.’ Samantha’s nose is squished against the window pane. ‘Dolphins,’ she squeaks. ‘Oh, look down there. In the lagoon.’ Samantha touches her dolphin necklace. She wore it especially today. Anna and Samantha laugh and point at the dolphins diving into the water. Nanna tries to laugh too, but her teeth jerk forward. Oh, gross. She’s taking them out. I wish she wouldn’t do that, especially in front of Anna and Leo. Her face caves in and those pink plastic gums and false teeth look like Dracula has ripped them out. I groan. It’s bad enough at night, when she leaves them in a glass of water. Once, when she was staying at our place, I nearly drank them. Phew, she’s put them back in.
We do two circuits on the monorail before getting off. Mum helps Nanna to a seat at the dolphin lagoon under a shady viewing area. ‘There’ll be a show soon.’
‘We’ll sit here and look after your lunches, children. Go and have a good time.’
Yessssss. Good one, Nanna. ‘Mum, Rob, can we go?’ We charge off. ‘To the Pirate Ship.’
We watch the Pirate Ship swinging in a huge arc for a while. ‘Seventy-five degrees at least,’ I announce. I give Leo a savvy look. ‘It’s a FACT.’ He better not argue, because I really do know. There are advantages to being a scientist. I can estimate distance, height, speed with near-exact precision. Also, I read the brochure, but I am not telling anyone that.
‘I’m not riding on it,’ Samantha announces. ‘It’ll make me sick.’ She holds her stomach. Anna is thinking about it.
‘Come on. Don’t be useless,’ I argue with them. No, the girls won’t go on it until I try it first. ‘Leo, are you coming?’
He shakes his head.
‘You’re too scared.’
‘I’m not.’
‘Well come on, then.’
Anna interrupts. ‘Jack, don’t force him. It’s only a ride.’
What a wimp. I’m not wasting any more time. I board the ship alone. I belt up and wait for it to start. The Pirate Ship begins moving. It’s huge, whooshing left, then right, then left. Zoom. Hey, this is terrific. I don’t grab on to the safety railing. I raise my hands high as the ship rockets into an enormous swing. I shout out to the girls every time I fly past.
Ride over. Too soon. That was fun. I run through the exit. ‘You’ve got to have a go.’
Anna laughs, twirling her licorice curls at me.
‘I’ll sit between Samantha and you. You’ll be fine. It’s fantastic.’ I snort at Leo, ‘Leo, you can just stay here and watch. It’ll be nice and safe.’
Leo follows us on board. He doesn’t have much choice. Watching would be too embarrassing. The ride starts. Anna screams so much that I have to put my arm around her. I feel one of her silver wings on her back. A tingle runs along my arm. Leo is stuck between Samantha and a huge, tattooed bikie. Ha, ha.
We have three rides. Even Leo likes it. It is getting hot. We run back to the lagoon. ‘Nanna, Nanna,’ I puff, ‘drinks.’ She forages in her bag and produces four cans of lemonade. We finish them, then have to go again. Oh yes, ‘Nanna are you having a good time?’ She starts talking about dolphins. ‘Sounds great. Let’s go, go,’ I shout. ‘Log ride.’ People are coming out of the boats drenched. ‘Looks great.’
Nearly our turn. It is cold inside the tunnel as the boat splashes through the dark. It starts to move faster, faster. We race around loops and twirls. Faster, faster. ‘Ahhhhhh …’ Samantha’s screams nearly split my eardrums.
We rocket down the chute and crash into a pool of water. We are dripping wet and Anna’s angel wings can’t flap. She looks so funny. ‘What’s the difference between a wet Anna and a dry angel?’
Anna isn’t sure if she is happy about this and puts her hands on her hips. ‘What is it?’
‘Nothing, except water.’
Anna blushes. Samantha gets soppy. ‘That’s really nice, Jack.’ I have no alternative but to rub Samantha’s nose in my wet T-shirt, then run. ‘I’ll get you,’ she shouts after me, but I run faster than Samantha and she is laughing by the time she catches up to me.
We dry off as we eat our sandwiches back at the lagoon. Nanna asks us twenty-three times, ‘Are you cold? Shouldn’t you change your clothes? Here are some dry T-shirts.’ I am going to kill Nanna.
Then it comes to me in a flash. This is the right moment. I drag out the left-over bag of jelly snakes. I hid them at the bottom of the lunch bag. ‘Does anyone want a snake?’ I sneak a look at Leo. He’s shuffling his feet.
Nanna isn’t interested in our wet clothes any more. Pneumonia isn’t important when there are jelly snakes around. I hand her a red one. Nanna’s favourite.
‘Where did you find them?’ Samantha says as she stuffs a snake into her mouth.
Leo’s really shuffling now. I let him sweat.
‘Yes, where?’ Anna’s wings quiver.
I look at Rob. Will I tell?
‘Where?’ Samantha copies Anna.
I squint at Leo. ‘Found them under the seat when I got in the car today,’ I lie.
Leo breathes a sign of relief. I hand him a yellow snake and stare him right in the face. ‘So why did you do it?’ I whisper under my breath.
‘I don’t know.’
‘You do know. It was so you could have them all to yourself.’ I look at Nanna chewing through the red snake. I wonder if Leo gets it.
‘Are you going to tell?’ Leo looks nervously at Rob.
‘No, not this time.’ I look at Rob too. ‘You owe me one now.’
‘The show is starting.’ Samantha nudges me. Three dolphins leap into the air in unison, then dive, before they jump up again, this time on their tails. ‘Look at their white tummies.’ Samantha rubs hers.
‘Fatter than yours.’ I tickle under her arms. ‘Full of squid. Little squirmy squid that suck out your eyes.’
‘Don’t, Jack.’ Samantha hits my hands. ‘I hate it when you say that about the eyes.’
‘Suck, suck, suck,’ I tease.
There go the dolphins again, zooming into the air like grey torpedoes. One is throwing a ball with his nose. Oh no, they’re playing water polo. The trainer looks like an idiot when the smallest dolphin dive-bombs him. Nanna is laughing. I take out my camera. Double exposures. Double the dolphins and double the Nannas. That will look good.
The trainers leave, the dolphins swim to other lagoons and Nanna stays. She is tired. How can she be tired? She has done NOTHING. ‘I’ll sit here and look at people walking by.’
Good, we’re off to other rides. ‘Bye, Nanna.’
‘There are polar bears that way.’ Anna points. ‘They’re so gorgeous.’
It’s already late afternoon when Mum and Rob come to find us. We are coming out of the exploding Bermuda Triangle volcano when Mum’s voice tinkles through the smoke. ‘Found you. Are you kids hungry?’
What a question. ‘Starving.’
We eat hot chips with tomato sauce as we lie on the grass beside the lake. Nanna is on a bench, of course. A big blob of tomato sauce drips onto her white blouse. Photograph. ‘Don’t, Jack.’ Nanna raises her knobby hand. Sorry, photographers have to record everything, even tomato blobs. Snap. Rob is tickling Mum. Snap. Anna has tomato sauce on her chin. Snap. Nanna hides her walking stick. Snap. Samantha is lying on Rob’s chest. Snap. Leo sits next to Rob. I don’t take that picture.
Rob rubs Samantha’s cheek. ‘Time to leave.’
Samantha stretches and yawns. ‘Oops, we forgot to visit the aquarium to see the tropical fish.’
Oh no, did Nanna hear that? Please, please don’t tell the fish and pee-pee story in front of Leo. Please. Phew, Nanna is too busy telling Mum about her ‘lost’ walking stick. I know where she has hidden it.
‘Here’s your stick, Nanna.’
‘Oh good, Jack.’ Nanna twinkles.
Nanna is kidding.